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Jesus Christ, has it really been an entire year? The really sad thing to me is that I'm not any better off either. Let's be losers together Benny! 
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Feb 5, 2014 12:24
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four words: ice cream truck driver edit: oh wait don't you not have a license
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Feb 5, 2014 15:39
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You dont need a license to push an arcoiris cart, andale Benny guey, tienes que conocer por lo menos un familiar que te puede prestar uno.
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Feb 5, 2014 15:54
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Starter Wiggin posted:Benny, you ever considered working for the government? Because they really like to say they're doing something, they're focusing on it, they're making solid effort, all while sitting there doing the same thing they've been doing all along (dicking around). I suggested this months ago. He'd be taking the civil service exam about now if he'd extended the effort. Edit: A Government desk job is PERFECT for you Benny. I took a week off once and literally had the entire previous week's work caught up by noon the day I came back. Little responsibility, little consequence of what you do, decent pay and job security. It would have been the perfect job for the rest of my life except it was so mind-numbingly boring it made me want to die, but "uneventful" kinda sounds like your thing. Thora fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Feb 5, 2014 |
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Feb 5, 2014 18:25
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gently caress da Mods posted:You dont need a license to push an Come on, keep up with the thread. Benny isn't qualified to push a cart.
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Feb 5, 2014 18:48
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Grin and Tonic posted:four words: ice cream truck driver It still blows my mind how a 25-26 year old living in the US can not have a license. He lives out in suburban shithole Southern California, so it's not like he has mass transit at his fingertips either. Seriously, what does this kid *do* all day?
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Feb 5, 2014 19:04
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He reads apparently, and practices writing for an hour a day. Then two hours job hunting.
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Feb 5, 2014 19:17
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Thora posted:I suggested this months ago. He'd be taking the civil service exam about now if he'd extended the effort. This reads like a  story. But really Benny, could you pass a background check?
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Feb 5, 2014 19:21
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Darth123123 posted:This reads like a I think is evil because I'm a godless liberal heathen so I find your observation kind of confusing but it's ok, we're still cool. It is what it was: taking an easy job and streamlining it even further.
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Feb 5, 2014 19:44
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As I recall, when this thread started, he had an unpaid political internship where he was apparently well-liked (or at least I don't think we ever heard otherwise). Benny, with midterms coming up this year, are there any campaigns you could work with, even as a volunteer? It'd at least get you out of the house, and more contacts out in the world could never be a bad thing. And "volunteered for a campaign while unemployed" would probably look better to a prospective employer than "entered weekly flash fiction contest on the internet" as the biggest thing you did in 2014. Keeping up with your therapy and meds (and yes, I get that affording them is a problem for you right now) is the most important thing, but having something to do with yourself, whether it pays or not, is probably not all that far down the list. Speaking from experience, trying to fill all that time is the second worst thing about long-term unemployment (the first being the lack of money).
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Feb 5, 2014 19:50
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Strategic Tea posted:I too hate the mentally ill. Being a sadsack shut-in fatty is not a mental illness. He'd be just fine if he turned off the computer, turned off the TV, went outside and got a few hours of exercise every day, lifted some weights, stopped being a fatass, stopped chatting on IRC all day about wanting to get laid and found some hobbies other than "consume media". He can't even be bothered to get off his rear end enough to pursue what he claims is his number 1 passion: writing. Benny is a lazy, selfish rear end in a top hat, plain and simple. His only motivation for starting this thread was to save his precious comics. That's no longer in jeopardy so he's back to sitting on his rear end all day. Benny is a net negative on society. He will never contribute anything. If he doesn't kill himself in some freak shopping cart incident, the best end-game for society is that Benny's parents die with enough home equity and life insurance to keep him from costing us all too much money. Go gently caress yourself, Benny. You're living life on easy mode and the best you care to do is protect a stack of comic books.
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Feb 5, 2014 20:08
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Arch Stanton posted:Being a sadsack shut-in fatty is not a mental illness. Benny has seen a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with some flavor of depression and psychosis (I do not recall the details), for which he is receiving treatment. This does not make him a blameless, helpless creature incapable of changing his own life for the better, but it does mean he's living life in anything but "easy mode". Benny's got terrible judgement about a lot of things, but I don't think he's got a lack of motivation. A lot of people would have given up on themselves by now. (They certainly would have given up on this thread by now.) He hasn't. Give him that much, at least.
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Feb 5, 2014 21:45
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I got back from the mock interview with my job counselor. She told me I actually interview well, so it's two things that's keeping me from getting a job. First is the fact that I was terminated from Target which will be a black mark on my employment history. The second is my resume. Most of the content on it is academic such as my education and academic projects so it makes me look overqualified when I apply to retail positions. She suggested I write a second resume and replace the academic content with work experience and responsibilities. I've already written a second resume using the first as a template. I always bring a resume for an interview so hopefully the new resume will help. She also suggested that I volunteer or find another internship in order to make myself look busy when I have no work. I'm going to volunteer at my local library and look for other internships.
Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 01:17 on Feb 6, 2014 |
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Feb 6, 2014 01:12
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Benny the Snake posted:First is the fact that I was terminated from Target which will be a black mark on my employment history. You were there for like two weeks. A year-long unemployment gap makes it sound like you have trouble finding jobs, a year-long unemployment gap with 3 one-to-two week jobs makes it sound like you're inept at actually performing at a job. We all know it's the latter, but you don't want your hiring manager to know that.
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Feb 6, 2014 01:20
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Benny the Snake posted:First is the fact that I was terminated from Target which will be a black mark on my employment history. Why are you putting this on your resume?
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Feb 6, 2014 01:40
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Benny the Snake posted:Most of the content on it is academic such as my education and academic projects so it makes me look overqualified when I apply to retail positions. How...how are we back to this? After a whole year. Edit: God drat I feel so sorry for your poor parents who've been putting up with your bullshit for all these years. Edit 2: Good job taking your brain pills. Greg Legg fucked around with this message at 01:55 on Feb 6, 2014 |
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Feb 6, 2014 01:44
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Benny you were told very, very early in this process to have different resumes for different types of job applications. And since you can't land a loving job anywhere you should have been using the one without your "over qualifications" unless the job specifically relates to them. For 90% of the poo poo you're applying to (retail, fast food, vehicle damager) you should be using a plain jane I Will Work For Minimum Wage resume
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Feb 6, 2014 02:05
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Oh I forgot. I might be eligible for something called an on-the-job grant. What it means is the workplace development office I've been going to will pay a percentage of my paycheck for employers who qualify. I'm going to have the permit e-mailed to me so I can use it during interviews. Hopefully it'll give me the extra edge.
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Feb 6, 2014 02:21
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My offer for you to be my Karl Pilkington is still open.
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Feb 6, 2014 02:30
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Okay yeah, you've got issues, Benny. It happens. People are frustrated and giving you poo poo. It may or may not be your fault that you've got issues. Who knows? Regardless, the only one who can help you get rid of them and function better is yourself. You can enlist the help of others, like your psych and therapist, but they can't do it for you. You have to. And you can, but you have to work at it.
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Feb 6, 2014 02:40
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YOU. ARE. NOT. OVERQUALIFIED. FOR. poo poo. I just wish this would get through your head. You are not above or too good for any job. Not custodial work, not fast food, not retail, NOTHING. Stop putting Target on your résumé like literally all of us have said. You worked there for like 2 weeks and were fired. It does not benefit your résumé in any way, shape, or form. We have all also told you to volunteer to fill the gaps in your unemployment. This has been suggested multiple times over the last year. While I am glad it has finally sunk in, I have to wonder why you didn't take this advice at any time over the last year. If you had, you know what your résumé would say now? It would say you'd been consistently volunteering at your library (or what have you) for the last year, instead of 1 week.
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Feb 6, 2014 02:49
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Starter Wiggin posted:YOU. ARE. NOT. OVERQUALIFIED. FOR. poo poo. I don't think Benny or anyone is saying that he's "too good" for certain jobs, but what they/he means by 'overqualified' is that most retail jobs and the like don't like to hire university graduates because they assume that the employee in question is only there to have some sort of job until something better comes along, and when something better inevitably does come along - poof, they're gone. I could be wrong, but I think that's what people are talking about in this thread when they say 'overqualified'.
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Feb 6, 2014 03:04
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Renzian posted:I don't think Benny or anyone is saying that he's "too good" for certain jobs, but what they/he means by 'overqualified' is that most retail jobs and the like don't like to hire university graduates because they assume that the employee in question is only there to have some sort of job until something better comes along, and when something better inevitably does come along - poof, they're gone.
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Feb 6, 2014 03:09
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Why not apply for a job you actually went to school to have qualifications for? Get an internship at a newspaper and start writing poo poo for them.
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Feb 6, 2014 03:13
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spunkshui posted:Why not apply for a job you actually went to school to have qualifications for? poo poo being the operative word here.
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Feb 6, 2014 03:16
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Benny the Snake posted:Oh I forgot. I might be eligible for something called an on-the-job grant. I presume this is an on-the-job training sort of thing. Are there conditions that a potential employer would have to meet? Somehow I doubt the government is interested in you learning how to flip burgers.
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Feb 6, 2014 03:50
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I liked JC's story but he lost me the instant Benny started being good at something. I was picturing something more in this direction.OMG JC a Bomb! posted:“I got lost two or three times, but I’m here,” Benny whimpered. Al Nipper fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Feb 6, 2014 |
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Feb 6, 2014 04:06
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To be fair, tender feet was a problem Captain Walker had, not Benny. BtS has dropped many gems, but that is not one of them.
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Feb 6, 2014 04:20
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Benny the Snake posted:I got back from the mock interview with my job counselor. She told me I actually interview well, so it's two things that's keeping me from getting a job. First is the fact that I was terminated from Target which will be a black mark on my employment history. The second is my resume. Most of the content on it is academic such as my education and academic projects so it makes me look overqualified when I apply to retail positions. She suggested I write a second resume and replace the academic content with work experience and responsibilities. I've already written a second resume using the first as a template. I always bring a resume for an interview so hopefully the new resume will help. She also suggested that I volunteer or find another internship in order to make myself look busy when I have no work. I'm going to volunteer at my local library and look for other internships. Every single one of these was said to you x times over a year now. And you'll follow her advice because
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Feb 6, 2014 04:34
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CellarDweller posted:I presume this is an on-the-job training sort of thing. Are there conditions that a potential employer would have to meet? Somehow I doubt the government is interested in you learning how to flip burgers.
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Feb 6, 2014 04:45
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BrainParasite posted:My offer for you to be my Karl Pilkington is still open. Karl Pilkington actually had a steady job when when Ricky Gervais found him. I want that to sink in. Karl Pilkington, the most famous idiot in the UK, was gainfully employed for years before the general public became aware of him.
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Feb 6, 2014 11:36
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I like this suggestion from earlier in the threadInterceptorV8 posted:This is what you are going to do Benny. You are going to figure out which company you dislike the best and call them for training tomorrow. He can handle 50,000 lbs of truck, right?
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Feb 6, 2014 14:04
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I wouldn't even worry about being "overqualified" for retail. Companies don't care about you bailing because they can train up a new grunt in 8-20 hours. When I worked at a grocery store, most high school and post secondary students only stayed like 6-12 months. It's an advantage for the company because they don't have to give you raises and benefits, and the grunt after you starts on the bottom too. Honestly, just fill out the application.correctly (and with no spelling mistakes), and show up on time.
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Feb 6, 2014 18:41
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BrainParasite posted:My offer for you to be my Karl Pilkington is still open. Russian embassy freaks out over visa - now wants to throw out our film crew. "Hey guys, I've been detained in Russia. The guy at customs said I should of had a visa, but what does he know, my passport should be good enough, right? I'll call a lawyer tomorrow."
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Feb 6, 2014 19:13
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The depressing thing is that it's February, and somehow Benny managed to not get a job during the pre-Christmas season that's prime hiring time for temp retail jobs. I'm still in awe about that.
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Feb 6, 2014 19:15
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I remember this thread when it first started, it was pretty funny, now it's just really sad and frustrating.
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Feb 6, 2014 20:08
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CellarDweller posted:I presume this is an on-the-job training sort of thing. Are there conditions that a potential employer would have to meet? Somehow I doubt the government is interested in you learning how to flip burgers. The state I'm in also does this, just under a different name. It's basically to offset hiring/training costs, to induce employers to take a chance when they may normally not have. My boss has hired several people over the past couple of years through this program. I don't flip burgers, but it's not exactly high-level management either. So yes, he could end up flipping burgers, as long as he follows directions.
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Feb 6, 2014 20:16
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Ursine Asylum posted:The depressing thing is that it's February, and somehow Benny managed to not get a job during the pre-Christmas season that's prime hiring time for temp retail jobs. I'm still in awe about that. Only depressing if you really think Benny was searching for employment over the holiday season. I get the impression that his batch of 20 applications is a recent development and there was little or no job hunting going on during the last half of 2013.
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Feb 6, 2014 20:35
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You are a reallllllyyy boring poster now. Why don't you pal around with us like your IRC chat friends? Let's all ease up for a bit and talk about poontang. Ok benny, so any prospective puss you see yourself wrangling?
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Feb 6, 2014 21:55
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Ursine Asylum posted:The depressing thing is that it's February, and somehow Benny managed to not get a job during the pre-Christmas season that's prime hiring time for temp retail jobs. I'm still in awe about that. Its depressing that out of all the E/N topics to choose from, goons have latched onto Benny as their project
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Feb 6, 2014 22:06
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