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OrganizedInsanity posted:Its depressing that out of all the E/N topics to choose from, goons have latched onto Benny as their project you have to have an unfinishable project, or when you finish you'll be bored
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Feb 6, 2014 22:15
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Sunshine89 posted:I wouldn't even worry about being "overqualified" for retail. Companies don't care about you bailing because they can train up a new grunt in 8-20 hours. When I worked at a grocery store, most high school and post secondary students only stayed like 6-12 months. Yep. Fast food, retail and call centres also expect to have a high turnover of staff and know that the majority of people they employ are going to jump ship when "something better" comes along or when real life starts getting more demanding. For a whole lot of reasons, in many minimum wage industries employers are looking for only a handful of people who regard the position as long-term and want a large number of employees at the bottom of their food chain to move on within a couple of years.
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Feb 6, 2014 22:18
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OrganizedInsanity posted:Its depressing that out of all the E/N topics to choose from, goons have latched onto Benny as their project Path of least resistance. There's nothing "wrong" with the kid, he doesn't have some physical disability, nor any real mental problems. He's just a fat, lazy 26 year old sack of poo poo that's managed to do absolutely nothing with his life save for acquiring a degree from a community college. He's been coddled his whole life and still lives at home. He's reliant on his parents for everything, doesn't drive and doesn't work. He has no adversity, save for a mom that sounds sick of dealing with his freeloading rear end. If anything, this should be easy. Light a fire under his rear end, get him out of the house, earning money, procuring transportation and trying to get him to act like something resembling a human being. I mean, I've done it. The lovely cart monkey job, food service, buy a car, move on out, etc. Granted, I was 15 years old and not twenty-loving-six, but hey, neither here nor there. I think everyone has managed to underestimate just how lazy and comfortable someone can be.
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Feb 6, 2014 22:31
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ThatCguy posted:He's just a fat Wait, is he? I thought the guy worked out.
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Feb 6, 2014 22:56
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Pfirti86 posted:Wait, is he? I thought the guy worked out. Don't confuse Benny with the 4 or 5 other living at home manchildren that also have active threads right now who all claim that they "work out" (Sunshine89, EN Bullshit, etc.). Benny has mentioned he is overweight and has not mentioned any gym visits or other exercise routines.
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Feb 6, 2014 23:29
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His degree is from a four-year college, though.
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Feb 6, 2014 23:33
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AlbieQuirky posted:His degree is from a four-year college, though. CA state schools are pretty much community college. They have a guaranteed acceptance program if you do enough coursework at a JC.
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Feb 6, 2014 23:54
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ThatCguy posted:If anything, this should be easy. It really should be. The fact that this thread has existed for a year now and Benny is in literally the same place as he was when he started makes this the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) thread in E/N. natetimm posted:CA state schools are pretty much community college. They have a guaranteed acceptance program if you do enough coursework at a JC. Why do you have such a massive hate boner for CA? I constantly see you posting stuff that shits all over it, not to mention it's not true. CA state school are perfectly fine, in fact, the state colleges in CA are some of the best in the nation. http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/rankings/national-universities/top-public WampaLord fucked around with this message at 00:33 on Feb 7, 2014 |
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Feb 7, 2014 00:30
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WampaLord posted:It really should be. The fact that this thread has existed for a year now and Benny is in literally the same place as he was when he started makes this the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) thread in E/N. California has two systems. San Diego State is the only state college on that ranking, the rest are part of the UC system.
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Feb 7, 2014 00:42
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WampaLord posted:It really should be. The fact that this thread has existed for a year now and Benny is in literally the same place as he was when he started makes this the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) thread in E/N. Those are all UC's no CSU's man. CSU's are California's way of making sure every special sparkle can get a college degree because they deserve it. Incidentally the California school system is more or less bankrupt because they have to subsidize people like Benny.
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Feb 7, 2014 13:48
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BrainParasite posted:My offer for you to be my Karl Pilkington is still open. Only thing is, Karl Pilkington is actually funny
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Feb 7, 2014 14:07
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WampaLord posted:It really should be. The fact that this thread has existed for a year now and Benny is in literally the same place as he was when he started makes this the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) thread in E/N. I live here. EDIT: Just remember those schools you praise gave Benny a degree in English. If that isn't evidence enough I don't know what is.
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Feb 7, 2014 14:37
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OrganizedInsanity posted:Those are all UC's no CSU's man. CSU's are California's way of making sure every special sparkle can get a college degree because they deserve it. Incidentally the California school system is more or less bankrupt because they have to subsidize people like Benny. So I assume CSU is "California State University" which is basically a compilation of state-funded community colleges in California? Just wanna have all my yellow flags lined up, in a row.
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Feb 7, 2014 15:11
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92 pages of the same patterned behavior oh benny
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Feb 7, 2014 15:20
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cname posted:So I assume CSU is "California State University" which is basically a compilation of state-funded community colleges in California? Just wanna have all my yellow flags lined up, in a row. No we actually have a community college system. Basically its community colleges, State Universities which a lot of community colleges feed into, and then the Universities of California which are the one's you aspire to get into like Berkley and UCLA. Benny basically was too smart for a community college and got into Chico State, which gets shat on by everyone including community college kids as a party school with nothing to party about (think ghetto version of Orange Country colleges). What surprises me is that Benny didn't just spend $1000 and get into a UC because if you apply for every UC, they'll guarantee you make it into one of them.
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Feb 7, 2014 15:24
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OrganizedInsanity posted:No we actually have a community college system. Basically its community colleges, State Universities which a lot of community colleges feed into, and then the Universities of California which are the one's you aspire to get into like Berkley and UCLA. He lives in Chino, not Chico. They're on opposite ends of the state.
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Feb 7, 2014 15:29
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So do I need to be on the lookout for *California State University* on resumes or did Benny just manage to find a chink-in-the-chain school?
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Feb 7, 2014 15:29
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Death Bot posted:He lives in Chino, not Chico. They're on opposite ends of the state. Where did he go to school then? CSU's are still pretty lovely outside of 1-2 cname posted:So do I need to be on the lookout for *California State University* on resumes or did Benny just manage to find a chink-in-the-chain school? Its more major than anything else. Remember that California guarantees you a subsidized 4 year college education if you meet the requirements for a school.
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Feb 7, 2014 15:41
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OrganizedInsanity posted:Its more major than anything else. Remember that California guarantees you a subsidized 4 year college education if you meet the requirements for a school. Wait, what? So most Cali state schools are snowflake factories?
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Feb 7, 2014 16:09
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cname posted:Wait, what? So most Cali state schools are snowflake factories? You wouldn't believe the amount of people I know with a CSU degree that have never and probably will never work in that field. Like OrganizedInsanity said, it depends on the major.
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Feb 7, 2014 16:25
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OrganizedInsanity posted:Where did he go to school then? CSU's are still pretty lovely outside of 1-2 Cal Poly Pomona. A degree in English from a school that's geared to churn out engineers is about as good as you'd expect.
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Feb 7, 2014 16:31
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cname posted:Wait, what? So most Cali state schools are snowflake factories? Like I said the official policy of the California UC system, which include world class schools like Berkley, is that if you meet the basic requirements needed to submit an application and if you submit it to enough schools (and pay the submission fee of course), they will guarantee you're acceptance into at least one UC. The end result is you have people that if held up to objective standards, should not get into college, getting into nationally recognized schools because California liberals believe higher education is a right.
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Feb 7, 2014 16:39
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OrganizedInsanity posted:Like I said the official policy of the California UC system, which include world class schools like Berkley, is that if you meet the basic requirements needed to submit an application and if you submit it to enough schools (and pay the submission fee of course), they will guarantee you're acceptance into at least one UC. The end result is you have people that if held up to objective standards, should not get into college, getting into nationally recognized schools because California liberals believe higher education is a right. I thought for freshman admissions that you had to be in the top 12.5% of your class to be guaranteed a slot in a UC. Top third for CSU, and all takers for community colleges.
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Feb 7, 2014 16:43
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Dude, it's time to cash in and ride your celebrity for all it's worth. Benny, fart in a mason jar, seal it up, and put it for sale on goonmart. Sell your smell as 'essence of goon'. Sell 'Day with Benny' cultural tours/'day-in-a-life' packages, wherein you charge goons on a sliding scale to spend a day/time with you and live your experience. Remember, photos cost extra. Eventually, some goon is bound to know some nerds within the tech bourgeois, you will start being paid to make appearances at swank parties, keynotes, summits, etc. From there, the members of the acting community will take notice, and they'll like you Benny, one so muchso, that he/she will throw you some small bits and you'll start getting casted. Eventually you'll meet Ron Howard and you'll cowrite a screenplay. Just gotta take that first step.
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Feb 7, 2014 16:58
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Engineer Lenk posted:I thought for freshman admissions that you had to be in the top 12.5% of your class to be guaranteed a slot in a UC. Top third for CSU, and all takers for community colleges. Did they change the rules after Cali went bankrupt? When I was applying for colleges, being in the top 12.5% of your school gave you a better chance of getting into your college of choice but if you apply to all 10+ UC's, they'll guarantee acceptance in one of them. Usually Riverside
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Feb 7, 2014 16:58
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gently caress da Mods posted:Sell 'Day with Benny' cultural tours/'day-in-a-life' packages, wherein you charge goons on a sliding scale to spend a day/time with you and live your experience. Remember, photos cost extra. If I wasn't so far from California I'd consider buying one of these packages.
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Feb 7, 2014 18:13
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All CSUs have a program where if you complete X courses at a JC with a 2.0 or better you're guaranteed admission, no matter what your grades in HS were like or SAT scores.
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Feb 7, 2014 19:14
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Edit, oops, Benny the Snake did sign up for textbroker, a year ago. DUR! Good luck, man.
Uncle Salty fucked around with this message at 17:14 on Feb 9, 2014 |
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Feb 9, 2014 16:05
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cname posted:Wait, what? So most Cali state schools are snowflake factories? Our "UC" schools are good, and there are like 15 of them. UCLA, UC San Diego, UC Irvine, UC Berkly ectect... all great schools. Our "cal state" schools are basically 4 year junior colleges. I snagged my teaching cred from a cal state because it was cheap. I rocked a 4.0 the whole time with zero effort. Keep in mind i was graded mostly on papers, and I write poo poo papers. I graduated my UC with a 3.1
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Feb 9, 2014 18:58
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Benny is entering the thunderdome writing thread today! I'm so excited.
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Feb 9, 2014 20:02
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OK, that's awesome. I am looking forward to reading the story! That thread has some great stuff.
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Feb 9, 2014 21:39
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Ms. Happiness posted:Benny is entering the thunderdome writing thread today! I'm so excited. Can someone give a quick summary of how it works for those of us that aren't in the know? Is there some sort of toxx clause if you don't complete it? Any kind of terms for "winning" (even if it's just "complete your story of X number of words")?
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Feb 9, 2014 22:13
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That drat Satyr posted:Can someone give a quick summary of how it works for those of us that aren't in the know? Is there some sort of toxx clause if you don't complete it? Any kind of terms for "winning" (even if it's just "complete your story of X number of words")? http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3598931
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Feb 9, 2014 22:20
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It starts to make more sense as you read along. Edit: unlike this thread, which in a lot of ways, just gets more confusing and hosed.
Uncle Salty fucked around with this message at 22:27 on Feb 9, 2014 |
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Feb 9, 2014 22:24
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I just put my story in the Thunderdome here. As per the prompt, I chose silver. After thinking on it, I started associating silver with the goddess Athena who had silver-colored eyes and decided to write a story about an oracle. It's not very good but the way I figure it's good to get a bad story out of me. I don't expect to win at all. I'm going to try to enter in the Thunderdome regularly. Oh and I spoke to my job adviser about the on-the-job training grant. It lasts for three months and eligibility is based on a list of procedures. The grant would not apply to me, but to my prospective employer as it would pay for a percentage of my paycheck. For me to qualify, I need to be trained in a given skill with no prior experience. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 23:33 on Feb 9, 2014 |
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Feb 9, 2014 23:28
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quote:When they become of age, quote:One day, I had saved enough to where I decided to have my fate revealed quote:I wish to say the oracle, I told him. Never change Benny I love you edit: hahaha quote:Where I come form,
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Feb 9, 2014 23:35
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Steampunk iPhone posted:Never change Benny I love you Yeah I was going to ask. Benny, seriously, man. You need to either sit down and proofread your own work, or get someone else to do it for you. Write a thing, walk away, come back in an hour and read it out loud. Please, this is like 6th grade self-proofreading here. You're supposed to be better than me at this, you've got a degree in it for crying out loud.  quote:the fate of man is a insignificant as a grain of sand quote:I am sorry, but that is all I can see, she said. And that's not counting the dozens of missing commas.  Double edit: Nobody critique the actual story in here, that's what the Thunderdome is for. And they'll do a more entertaining job of it, I wager 
Alliterate Addict fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Feb 9, 2014 |
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Feb 9, 2014 23:38
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Ursine Asylum posted:Yeah I was going to ask. Benny, seriously, man. You need to either sit down and proofread your own work, or get someone else to do it for you. Write a thing, walk away, come back in an hour and read it out loud. Please, this is like 6th grade self-proofreading here. You're supposed to be better than me at this, you've got a degree in it for crying out loud. It's also 6th grade level in terms of style and thematic depth, seriously this poo poo reads like something 10 year old me would write and think it was super cool and badass quote:Yes, I see blood on your hands and the bodies of three people at your feet, she told me. I see a bloodstained dagger and madness in your eyes. I don't know if I can believe this is real anymore hahaha
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Feb 9, 2014 23:42
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Steampunk iPhone posted:It's also 6th grade level in terms of style and thematic depth, seriously this poo poo reads like something 10 year old me would write and think it was super cool and badass http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdhhQhqi_AE
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Feb 9, 2014 23:44
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How did you get an english degree. How the gently caress did you get an english degree. Your writing is the equivalent of a retarded man repeatedly smashing a stack of shopping carts into a parked car.
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Feb 10, 2014 00:14
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