the elder scrolls online was a steaming turd

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Imp Zone > the elder scrolls online was a steaming turd

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Sexgun Rasputin: May 5, 2013; by Ralp
(and can't post for 642 days!)

i've been playing neverwinter online with some friends for the past few weeks and it seems fun to me and also free

# ? Feb 11, 2014 23:34

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 02:23

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Last_Ranger posted:

What's sad is that all these ideas about how the games could be made cool either by allowing players to place their own bounties or restricting the numbers of high powered artifacts or weapons aren't conducive to most casual players so they'll never happen...unless we all work together to make our own MMORPG.

this is cool because i'd love to troll the poo poo out of serious roleplayers with my naked fat orc paladin but not for 15bux a month. think about how many title changes you could buy Mordin

Just imagine your post count is your XP count, and your rap sheet is list of completed quests.

# ? Feb 11, 2014 23:34

tRIDAV: Jul 10, 2001; Oh, cruel fates, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones, it bones for thee.

steinrokkan posted:

Just imagine your post count is your XP count, and your rap sheet is list of completed quests.

rap sheet is a list of crimes you have to bribe your way out of to the guards (mods) when they catch you badposting

# ? Feb 12, 2014 00:21

sure okay: Apr 7, 2006

rainy day posted:

They're not commercial failures though. SWTOR, despite being a disaster of a game still made money, this will too. I wouldn't be surprised if it's an intentional strategy at this point:

Design an MMO with features made specifically to look good as box/press release bullet points instead of promoting fun gameplay, if possible use an existing IP (though Rift, TSW and others have shown this isn't necessary), now hype and market the poo poo out of it and package it as a AAA subscription game so you can justify selling it at full retail cost and watch the $60 and $100 CE preorders roll in while every burnt-out WoW idiot laps up your empty promises and transparently bad design decisions. Provided you managed spread the word properly by paying for enough full page ads on IGN or Polygon you make a tidy profit on release. Your game is already a moderate success in investors eyes but you're not done yet!

After the trickle of subscription money from people who forgot to cancel runs out you transition to f2p for a fraction of the cost of releasing new content. Now you have a new audience of dumb teenagers with no standards who will play your game entirely because they can play as a dragon or a furry or whatever your sad nerd gimmick is. While these kids balk at the idea of paying the price of a couple meals once a month to play your lovely game, a decent percentage of them will be willing to pay many times more than that on cosmetic bullshit, convenience items (or if you're a really big rear end in a top hat, required end-game items) provided you let them pay for free long enough to get emotionally invested in their big titty leopard girl.

Congrats, you've managed to make a "successful" game by exploiting the stupidity of not one, but two sub-demographics of pathetic nerds, you can now use the goodwill of investors and the money you've earned to finance your next creatively bankrupt MMO cashgrab. Sure it's not as insanely profitable as a successful subscription MMO like WoW but it's a lot easier to pull off when you have limited development time and an talentless dev team.

Yeah man businesses love spending 8 figures and only breaking even. Or only making 10% of their investment over 2 years. Or less. Your measure of "success" is literally no one else's interpretation in this industry. This poo poo is big business. And big business expects big returns.

SWOTOR was a top down failure by any measure and came with huge layoffs. This will too.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 01:27

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

Last_Ranger posted:

What's sad is that all these ideas about how the games could be made cool either by allowing players to place their own bounties or restricting the numbers of high powered artifacts or weapons aren't conducive to most casual players so they'll never happen...unless we all work together to make our own MMORPG.

this is cool because i'd love to troll the poo poo out of serious roleplayers with my naked fat orc paladin but not for 15bux a month. think about how many title changes you could buy Mordin

The starting clothes don't give any bonus so almost everyone I saw in the early areas was naked

# ? Feb 12, 2014 01:30

Freemason Rush Week: Apr 22, 2006

Cession posted:

Yeah man businesses love spending 8 figures and only breaking even. Or only making 10% of their investment over 2 years. Or less. Your measure of "success" is literally no one else's interpretation in this industry. This poo poo is big business. And big business expects big returns.

SWOTOR was a top down failure by any measure and came with huge layoffs. This will too.

Are layoffs always because of failure though? Isn't some of that because they don't need as many people to manage a game once it's been launched?

# ? Feb 12, 2014 01:48

Third World Reagan: May 19, 2008; Imagine four 'mechs waiting in a queue. Time works the same way.

Bad company design and because their projected ROI isn't high enough.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 01:50

rainy day: Jul 20, 2009; by Ralp

Mr. Horrible posted:

Are layoffs always because of failure though? Isn't some of that because they don't need as many people to manage a game once it's been launched?

yeah layoffs are pretty common after a big mmo release whether its successful or not. layoffs are incredibly common in the games industry in general.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 04:44

Torka: Jan 5, 2008

I like playing video games and will therefore enjoy working in the games industry

-- an idiot

# ? Feb 12, 2014 07:58

GROVER CURES HOUSE: Aug 26, 2007; Go on...

Moridin920 posted:

WHY DOES ANYONE EXPECT AN MMO TO BE GOOD

lol

GOT A EXTRA TITTY posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3607147&userid=127450

lol

lmao

using beta status to excuse heaps of flaws doesnt work when the game's getting released in a few months. only true believers trying to justify their purchase like that guy see ~the vision~, the rest of us see whats actually there.

if you wanted me to evaluate the day 1 patch, you shouldve been published yesterday

# ? Feb 12, 2014 08:41

Sardikar: Sep 27, 2004; I cant think of anything to put here.

Somewhere in the ZeniMax Online Studios a printed copy of the end user agreement has burst into flames...

# ? Feb 12, 2014 08:43

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

haha the MMO HMO thread has turned this guy "Utnayan" into some kind of supervillain for talking smack on the game and they won't stop talking about him

# ? Feb 12, 2014 15:07

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

they keep posting screenshots like this and saying it's "beautiful" but it looks like a game from 2010:

# ? Feb 12, 2014 15:10

Your Moms Ahegao: Sep 3, 2008

Moridin920 posted:

average for an mmo is still bad.

Ok, following your metric, ESO is worse then bad then, cool, I agree.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 15:13

G.I. Jaw: Mar 26, 2003; More cake, Mrs. Tuffington?; Nap Ghost

My favorite thing was how all armor felt tailor-made to fit each character.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 15:28

ZombieParts: Jul 18, 2009; ASK ME ABOUT VISITING PROSTITUTES IN CHINA AND FEELING NO SHAME. MY FRIEND IS SERIOUSLY THE (PATHETIC) YODA OF PAYING WOMEN TO TOUCH HIS (AND MY) DICK. THEY WOULDN'T DO IT OTHERWISE.

omg how awful it is

the best graphics shown were the loving fat sliders

# ? Feb 12, 2014 15:33

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Fallom posted:

they keep posting screenshots like this and saying it's "beautiful" but it looks like a game from 2010:

It's a bunch of flat textures with primitive shaders and billboards placed over simplistic geometry, but it looks "good" because you can't see poo poo over the flare.

There are some relatively pretty shots, but they are all closeups so it seems the game fails to create good large-scale scenes but some isolated details aren't entirely embarrassing.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 16:17

WinnebagoWarrior: Apr 8, 2009; I eat Rotheseburgehergh's like you for breakfast

steinrokkan posted:

It's a bunch of flat textures with primitive shaders and billboards placed over simplistic geometry, but it looks "good" because you can't see poo poo over the flare.

There are some relatively pretty shots, but they are all closeups so it seems the game fails to create good large-scale scenes but some isolated details aren't entirely embarrassing.

i mean look at those next gen 2014 god rays #ps4 #xbone

# ? Feb 12, 2014 16:44

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Fallom posted:

they keep posting screenshots like this and saying it's "beautiful" but it looks like a game from 2010:

DAoC looked like that 10 years ago.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 16:49

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

G.I. Jaw posted:

My favorite thing was how all armor felt tailor-made to fit each character.

catinahat.jpg

# ? Feb 12, 2014 16:52

serious norman: Dec 13, 2007; im pickle rick!!!!

I'm an angry video game nerd.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 17:06

Fried Watermelon: Dec 29, 2008

The character models look so bad that I had to play in first person. Which they weren't originally going to add into the game.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 17:16

Third World Reagan: May 19, 2008; Imagine four 'mechs waiting in a queue. Time works the same way.

Looks to me just as bad as oblivion and morrowind. Honestly I don't know why anyone wants to see their hands all the god drat time.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 17:48

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

G.I. Jaw posted:

My favorite thing was how all armor felt tailor-made to fit each character.

i made the shortest character possible and his shield and sword were never held properly because they can't change the animations based on height

# ? Feb 12, 2014 17:48

Third World Reagan: May 19, 2008; Imagine four 'mechs waiting in a queue. Time works the same way.

Also their survey is bad enough that they are going to get the wrong information from the results.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 17:50

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK: Sep 11, 2001

Third World Reggin posted:

Also their survey is bad enough that they are going to get the wrong information from the results.

lol like any of the survey stuff will affect what they do before it goes live

# ? Feb 12, 2014 18:10

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Maybe it's just me but I don't give as much of a poo poo about graphics as long as the game doesn't have 2,199 bugs and the story is kinda fun.

Too bad we know which side of that line Bethesda usually falls on!

# ? Feb 12, 2014 18:14

Third World Reagan: May 19, 2008; Imagine four 'mechs waiting in a queue. Time works the same way.

How about this, the teams are getting bonuses based on that survey and metacritic.

sorry I mean no team is getting a bonus and most are getting laid off.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 18:15

Smarmy Coworker: May 10, 2008; by XyloJW

Crazy Ted posted:

Maybe it's just me but I don't give as much of a poo poo about graphics as long as the game doesn't have 2,199 bugs and the story is kinda fun.

Too bad we know which side of that line Bethesda usually falls on!

it's an mmo what the gently caress kind of story can you expect
that's 1/2 of ur thing gone right there

# ? Feb 12, 2014 19:01

G.I. Jaw: Mar 26, 2003; More cake, Mrs. Tuffington?; Nap Ghost

The worst thing about the story is that you are the CHOSEN ONE, along with every other player. Would it really have been so hard to write a story where you and the thousands of other people are providing support to the actual heroes, so it at least makes some drat sense?

# ? Feb 12, 2014 19:28

ClearAirTurbulence: Apr 20, 2010; The earth has music for those who listen.

I don't see why they didn't make a version for the 360. Not everyone can afford the latest generation console but we buy games sometimes.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 19:28

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Smarmy Coworker posted:

it's an mmo what the gently caress kind of story can you expect
that's 1/2 of ur thing gone right there

Well this is why I don't play mmo's. What seems really stupid about this game is that all of the players are shoehorned into one of three alliances right as they begin. They could have had each race on their or something to start with and let the players decide what the allegiances end up being but idk

Well, that and other things.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 19:29

WinnebagoWarrior: Apr 8, 2009; I eat Rotheseburgehergh's like you for breakfast

G.I. Jaw posted:

The worst thing about the story is that you are the CHOSEN ONE, along with every other player. Would it really have been so hard to write a story where you and the thousands of other people are providing support to the actual heroes, so it at least makes some drat sense?

Yeah, this was really hilarious in the beta when you would be doing CHOSEN ONE quests and there would be 6 other players huddled around the same NPC clicking through the same dialogue boxes about being the CHOSEN ONE as you. SO EPIC

# ? Feb 12, 2014 19:31

poptart_fairy: Apr 8, 2009; by R. Guyovich

G.I. Jaw posted:

The worst thing about the story is that you are the CHOSEN ONE, along with every other player. Would it really have been so hard to write a story where you and the thousands of other people are providing support to the actual heroes, so it at least makes some drat sense?

they did that in gw2 and it was awful because you were playing second fiddle to some dumb rear end tree man

# ? Feb 12, 2014 19:32

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

ClearAirTurbulence posted:

I don't see why they didn't make a version for the 360. Not everyone can afford the latest generation console but we buy games sometimes.

Consider it a favor.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 19:37

G.I. Jaw: Mar 26, 2003; More cake, Mrs. Tuffington?; Nap Ghost

poptart_fairy posted:

they did that in gw2 and it was awful because you were playing second fiddle to some dumb rear end tree man

Yeah I can see how that would suck. I just think there needs to be some change so that not every single person is te chosen hero of legend. It would be pretty rad if near the end of the main quest you learn that the prophet is actually Molag Bal and he's just been jerking you around with that Chosen One bullshit!

# ? Feb 12, 2014 19:38

WinnebagoWarrior: Apr 8, 2009; I eat Rotheseburgehergh's like you for breakfast

G.I. Jaw posted:

Yeah I can see how that would suck. I just think there needs to be some change so that not every single person is te chosen hero of legend. It would be pretty rad if near the end of the main quest you learn that the prophet is actually Molag Bal and he's just been jerking you around with that Chosen One bullshit!

I unironically believe that MMOs should have no story what so ever and just a giant world to explore and do whatever you want in, Star Wars Galaxies style.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 19:43

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

poptart_fairy posted:

they did that in gw2 and it was awful because you were playing second fiddle to some dumb rear end tree man

Yeah, but there's situations in TESO it'd be easy to fix. Like the beginning of the Dominion quest line is "you're the only survivor we've found from the shipwreck!"

Just have him say "Another survivor!" or something like that

# ? Feb 12, 2014 19:45

1stGear: Jan 16, 2010; Here's to the new us.

WoW has actually gotten fairly good at presenting its story and lore (mostly through cutscenes admittedly) and it says a lot about the genre when a 10 year old game is still pretty much the only one innovating.

WinnebagoWarrior posted:

I unironically believe that MMOs should have no story what so ever and just a giant world to explore and do whatever you want in, Star Wars Galaxies style.

This is also acceptable and more studios should do it.

# ? Feb 12, 2014 19:48

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 02:23

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

The tree man in gw2 sucked because his voice actor sucked. Whenever he spoke a little of my human spirit was sapped

# ? Feb 12, 2014 19:54

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Imp Zone > the elder scrolls online was a steaming turd

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