Stuff You Can't Believe You Just Figured Out III: Still Learning New Things

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Stuff You Can't Believe You Just Figured Out III: Still Learning New Things

«‹›203 »

DontMockMySmock: Aug 9, 2008; I got this title for the dumbest fucking possible take on sea shanties. Specifically, I derailed the meme thread because sailors in the 18th century weren't woke enough for me, and you shouldn't sing sea shanties. In fact, don't have any fun ever.

thespaceinvader posted:

Nope, he's still being intensely amazing as guest host on Have I Got News For You, and guest guest on QI. If you can find them to watch, do, it's AWESOME.

Especially the QI where he unironically rambles on about how yetis definitely exist and Stephen Fry is too in awe of his beard and/or voice to bitch-slap him with some basic loving knowledge.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 12:31

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 00:37

Dabir: Nov 10, 2012

He's climbed enough mountains that I'd trust him more than most.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 13:42

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

My favourite was when he started talking about how you go to the toilet on Everest. No matter how you thought the story was going to go, you were wrong.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 13:44

fullroundaction: Apr 20, 2007; Drink beer every day

Just learned (from a Cracked podcast) that Silence of the Lambs was NOT based on or inspired by Jeffery Dahmer. The movie/book came out before his arrest/all the gorey details of the case.

Also he did way worse poo poo than just snack on people. Dude was a loving monster.

E: I don't know if it's just me but remembering back to that time period the two seem inseparably linked.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 14:44

Mocking Bird: Aug 17, 2011

Yep, the inspiration was presumably Ed Gein.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 15:38

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

Captain Trips posted:

I've never seen anyone use actual headphones with their phone. Earbuds or a bluetooth, sure. But not headphones.

I'm late to this one but earbuds are headphones, bluetooth is a protocol and "a bluetooth" is the thing that people in their sixties "need for my empy-three".

Sara Gilbert is pretty recognizable as both Leslie on Big Bang Theory and Darlene from Roseanne. But it took about a thousand years longer than it should have for me to figure out that Johnny Galecki, her ex on BBT, was also her boyfriend David on Roseanne. And it was only after googling to confirm that one that I learned Laurie Metcalf is also on both shows (Roseanne's sister Jackie and Sheldon's mother). The takeaway here is that I'm bad at recognizing actors.

I predict Roseanne will do a cameo in the last season of BBT just as the engine in Fonzie's motorcycle rumbles to a stop.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 15:49

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006

Roseanne would be a pretty great choice for the never shown, fat, loud mother.

Unless they've already shown her. I don't watch the show.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 17:10

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Aphrodite posted:

Roseanne would be a pretty great choice for the never shown, fat, loud mother.

Unless they've already shown her. I don't watch the show.

They haven't, and you're right if she could get the voice just right.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 18:06

CzarChasm: Mar 14, 2009; I don't like it when you're watching me eat.

Jedit posted:

Too many words.

Blessed's ALIVE!

You can actually get Brian Blessed to be your GPS voice if you're into that.

I think some people only have the image of 1980's Roseanne in their heads. She's gotten a lot smaller if GIS can be trusted.

Actually, there's only one way to solve both problems. Have Brian Blessed play the fat mom on BBT.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 18:07

PhotoKirk: Jul 2, 2007; insert witty text here

CzarChasm posted:

You can actually get Brian Blessed to be your GPS voice if you're into that.

I think some people only have the image of 1980's Roseanne in their heads. She's gotten a lot smaller if GIS can be trusted.

But she's 10x as shrill. Can't stand that woman.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 21:46

Elim Garak: Aug 5, 2010

PhotoKirk posted:

But she's 10x as shrill. Can't stand that woman.

Where have you heard her voice in the last fifteen years. Sometimes she says something dumb on twitter, but I can't recall seeing her actually in the media for a long time.

I learned today that "poop" as slang for excrement and "poop deck" as part of a ship are likely unrelated etymologically. Poop deck comes from Latin via French for "rear" which I thought might have something to do with it but it seems excrement comes from a usage of the word as in "fart" which probably came from a word for a trumpet blast.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 23:04

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

flakeloaf posted:

I'm late to this one but earbuds are headphones, bluetooth is a protocol and "a bluetooth" is the thing that people in their sixties "need for my empy-three".

I've heard lots of not-old people use "a bluetooth" to refer to the kind of one-ear bluetooth headset douchebags wear constantly so you can never tell if they're talking to you or on the phone. Must be a regional thing.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 00:19

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

She was in that snickers commercial recently.

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

I've heard lots of not-old people use "a bluetooth" to refer to the kind of one-ear bluetooth headset douchebags wear constantly so you can never tell if they're talking to you or on the phone. Must be a regional thing.

It's not regional, people are just idiots. It's like when people called mp3 players "mp3s."

# ? Feb 20, 2014 01:31

Hydrolith: Oct 30, 2009

flakeloaf posted:

I'm late to this one but earbuds are headphones, bluetooth is a protocol and "a bluetooth" is the thing that people in their sixties "need for my empy-three".

Oh, you're late to re-open a stupid derail, are you? Thank gently caress you're here at last!

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

I've heard lots of not-old people use "a bluetooth" to refer to the kind of one-ear bluetooth headset douchebags wear constantly so you can never tell if they're talking to you or on the phone. Must be a regional thing.

Now look what you've done.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 01:39

Rockman Reserve: Oct 2, 2007; "Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

Elim Garak posted:

Where have you heard her voice in the last fifteen years. Sometimes she says something dumb on twitter, but I can't recall seeing her actually in the media for a long time.

Uh what? She has (had?) her own weird reality show for a while and ran for president of the United States in 2012.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 03:00

Elim Garak: Aug 5, 2010

Ryoshi posted:

Uh what? She has (had?) her own weird reality show for a while and ran for president of the United States in 2012.

I knew she ran, but even then I never heard her speak, and apparently her reality show ran for a few months several years ago, but I never heard of it until today.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 03:17

Shifty Nipples: Apr 8, 2007

Hydrolith posted:

Oh, you're late to re-open a stupid derail, are you? Thank gently caress you're here at last!

Now look what you've done.

Cranial accessories.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 05:02

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

Hydrolith posted:

Oh, you're late to re-open a stupid derail, are you? Thank gently caress you're here at last!

Today I figured out that you only have a day to reply to someone who replies to your post, because the pixels go stale and it makes the internet yell at you or something. But seriously, I had no idea that "bluetooth" had been nouned that way. I guess it makes sense since a headset is the bluetooth device most non-techy-type people are likely to have (or at least, to know they have).

Shifty Nipples posted:

Cranial accessories.

WEARABLE COMPUTING! No rear end in a top hat, you just took a circuit board and tied it to your arm. You aren't a cyborg. Go home and call us when your body is powering the apparatus somehow.

Fraps loves showing you your framerate in big obnoxious numbers because the app's full name is Frames Per Second.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 07:23

old bean factory: Nov 18, 2006; Will ya close the fucking doors?!

Shifty Nipples posted:

Cranial accessories.

poo poo on your head.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 07:48

Frostwerks: Sep 24, 2007; by Lowtax

flakeloaf posted:

I'm late to this one but earbuds are headphones, bluetooth is a protocol and "a bluetooth" is the thing that people in their sixties "need for my empy-three".

Sara Gilbert is pretty recognizable as both Leslie on Big Bang Theory and Darlene from Roseanne. But it took about a thousand years longer than it should have for me to figure out that Johnny Galecki, her ex on BBT, was also her boyfriend David on Roseanne. And it was only after googling to confirm that one that I learned Laurie Metcalf is also on both shows (Roseanne's sister Jackie and Sheldon's mother). The takeaway here is that I'm bad at recognizing actors.

I predict Roseanne will do a cameo in the last season of BBT just as the engine in Fonzie's motorcycle rumbles to a stop.

What the gently caress is an empty three.

Nvm, I get it now.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 07:55

Ariza: Feb 8, 2006

Ryoshi posted:

Uh what? She has (had?) her own weird reality show for a while and ran for president of the United States in 2012.

Was it the one about nuts with her bitching at that creepy guy in her horrible voice? I completely forgot that that existed even though I was probably the only person who enjoyed that terrible show.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 12:12

Yoshi Jjang: Oct 5, 2011; renard renard renarnd renrard

renard

I thought Jane Goodall died in the 90s for some reason. Surprised me to find out she's still alive.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 12:47

Throatwarbler: Nov 17, 2008; by vyelkin

Yoshi Jjang posted:

I thought Jane Goodall died in the 90s for some reason. Surprised me to find out she's still alive.

Maybe you're thinking of Diane Fossey? I know I thought they were the same person for the longest time.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 13:13

Tourette Meltdown: Sep 11, 2001; Most people with Tourette Syndrome are able to hold jobs and lead full lives. But not you.

It's DyAtlov, not DyLatov. Not that it matters, but Dyatlov definitely sounds more Russian, so I'm surprised it took me this long to notice.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 13:14

sassassin: Apr 3, 2010; by Azathoth

Yoshi Jjang posted:

I thought Jane Goodall died in the 90s for some reason. Surprised me to find out she's still alive.

Jade Goody?

# ? Feb 20, 2014 15:27

Centripetal Horse: Nov 22, 2009; Fuck money, get GBS

This could have bought you a half a tank of gas, lmfao -
Love, gromdul

Aphrodite posted:

Roseanne would be a pretty great choice for the never shown, fat, loud mother.

Unless they've already shown her. I don't watch the show.

I've seen several discussions online about Howard's mom (I live in boring corners of the internet), and it's almost universal that
A) No one knows who Carol Ann Susie is
B) No one seems to think her appearance matches her voice

I've seen people say how Carol is not what they pictured, she doesn't look like she sounds, and so on. I knew instantly who Howard's mom was the first time I ever heard her voice on the show. I associate her voice with her appearance, and it seems to fit, perfectly, to me. I guess I'm the only person on the planet who still remembers her from Married... With Children.

They've built Howard's mom up into some sort of inhuman behemoth (another throwback to Married.. With Children), to the point where I don't think they can ever show her without disappointing the audience and ruining the fat mom mystique they've built up. On Married, when they finally decided to "show" Peg's mother, they just showed Peg's father sitting on a big, lumpy, blanket-covered piece of furniture, and pretended it was part of the mother's lap.

Content:

I just figured out/learned that potatoes do not cook better in the microwave if you cut them, first. I've been cooking for myself for decades, and I just learned this two days ago. I was crockpotting up a couple of weeks worth of home-made meals, and I decided to nuke some potatoes to go with them. Instead of my usual method, I cut them into wedges, first, then microwaved them for about sixteen hours until I was forced to acknowledge that they were never going to become the nice, soft potatoes I've come to know and love. Instead, they stayed almost as hard as they are when raw, and dried out to the point of uselessness.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 15:57

SLOSifl: Aug 10, 2002

If you want to microwave potatoes (to par cook them, not to serve them directly), cut them, toss in a bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Microwave for about 5-7 minutes. Then, the important step, finish cooking them somewhere else.

Watch out for steam when you remove the plastic wrap.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 16:04

Lucy Heartfilia: May 31, 2012

Yeah, you can do some real time saving tricks with the microwave and veggies. I would use a turned over plate instead of plastic wrap though.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 16:48

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Or, if you want to bake them, wrap them tightly and completely in plastic wrap and cook for 13-15 minutes in the microwave. Watch out though, they'll be bitchin hot under the wrapper.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 22:52

Son of Thunderbeast: Sep 21, 2002

I was super high last night and heating some salsa con queso in the microwave when my brain went "con queso... con carne. Evil con Carne, heh. Evil con Carne, evil incarnate OH HOLKY gently caress"

# ? Feb 20, 2014 23:17

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Another good trick for microwave potatoes is:

1. cut them into cubes.
2. place them in a glass bowl and pour a mixture of 2 parts ketchup 1 part water over the entire thing covering the potatoes
3. DO NOT COVER THE BOWL (this will ruin them and create a steam hazard when removing the potatoes from the oven)
4. Microwave on "max" for 55 minutes.

Season as you like. Comes out perfect every time.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 23:20

flavor.flv: Apr 18, 2008; I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

I was super high last night and heating some salsa con queso in the microwave when my brain went "con queso... con carne. Evil con Carne, heh. Evil con Carne, evil incarnate OH HOLKY gently caress"

drat.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 23:25

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

I was super high last night and heating some salsa con queso in the microwave when my brain went "con queso... con carne. Evil con Carne, heh. Evil con Carne, evil incarnate OH HOLKY gently caress"

drat, I took that to be 'evil with meat' when it should have been more like what you're saying 'evil in the flesh'.

Drugs and cartoons, man.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 23:30

MadMattH: Sep 8, 2011

syscall girl posted:

drat, I took that to be 'evil with meat' when it should have been more like what you're saying 'evil in the flesh'.

Drugs and cartoons, man.

I think I prefer the 'evil with meat' translation. Also if it was a full translation it probably would sound even cooler. I get 'la encarnaci�n del mal' for 'evil incarnate' and 'mal en la carne' for 'evil in the flesh' and 'evil in meat' in Google translate.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 23:55

kazil: Jul 24, 2005; Derpmph trial star reporter!

MadMattH posted:

I think I prefer the 'evil with meat' translation. Also if it was a full translation it probably would sound even cooler. I get 'la encarnaci�n del mal' for 'evil incarnate' and 'mal en la carne' for 'evil in the flesh' and 'evil in meat' in Google translate.

It's a pun on chili con carne...

# ? Feb 20, 2014 23:56

TaurusTorus: Mar 27, 2010; Grab the bullshit by the horns

The Stanley Steemer carpet cleaning company is a pun on the Stanley Motor Company's steam powered cars, also known as "Stanley Steamers."

# ? Feb 21, 2014 00:19

Vidaeus: Jan 27, 2007; Cats are gonna cat.

Solice Kirsk posted:

Another good trick for microwave potatoes is:

1. cut them into cubes.
2. place them in a glass bowl and pour a mixture of 2 parts ketchup 1 part water over the entire thing covering the potatoes
3. DO NOT COVER THE BOWL (this will ruin them and create a steam hazard when removing the potatoes from the oven)
4. Microwave on "max" for 55 minutes.

Season as you like. Comes out perfect every time.

55 minutes, holy gently caress

# ? Feb 21, 2014 01:12

Gromit: Aug 15, 2000; I am an oppressed White Male, Asian women wont serve me! Save me Campbell Newman!!!!!!!

Vidaeus posted:

55 minutes, holy gently caress

Yeah, that can't be right can it? Anything in my microwave for 55 minutes would be on fire briefly and then just a charcoal mess. Plus in that time you could have roasted them in your oven.

# ? Feb 21, 2014 01:24

internet inc: Jun 13, 2005; brb
_{taking pictures

of ur house}

It also roasts your very own potatoes unless you get out of the house.

# ? Feb 21, 2014 01:35

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 00:37

Son of Thunderbeast: Sep 21, 2002

kazil posted:

It's a pun on chili con carne...

Yeah I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be a pun on both "chili con carne" and "evil incarnate"

"Evil with meat" = a dopey way of saying "the personification of evil"

My brain might be slightly over 50% bong resin by now so this might all be super obvious, but it blew my god damned mind

EDIT: I just re-read this post, replace "might be" with "is"

# ? Feb 21, 2014 01:50

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Stuff You Can't Believe You Just Figured Out III: Still Learning New Things

«‹›203 »