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I'm having issues with all my kids at the moment, if anyone has any advice on any of them that would be great because I feel like I'm drowning sometimes. Youngest (10 months) won't sleep. She's a little witch determined to keep me awake for at least 20 hours a day. I don't even know how she manages to cope with so little sleep herself but she's thriving. She's breastfed and won't take a dummy so I'm not sure how much of the night feeding is for comfort or for sustenance but she's gone not even being on the growth chart at all (premature) to the 50th centile so it's not like she's struggling for food. Sometimes I try the comfort her then put her back down, or sitting beside her cot while she whines but her stamina is greater than mine and I end up giving in beforee she does. I don't really want to let her cry because discounting all the issues around it there are 2 kids and a husband who need to go to school/work and being kept up all night would be poo poo for everyone. Co-sleeping isn't great because she wakes up multiple times and tries to crawl out of the bed. Second youngest (3 years) won't eat. He's never had a great appetite but I swear now he's living on 4 fromage fraie a day. He doesn't want anything you offer to him good or bad and short of force feeding him I don't know what to do except wait it out. Second oldest (11 years old) being bullied. He doesn't want me to talk to the school because he says it'll make it worse but should I do it anyway? I'm scared if I do then he'll stop telling me anything, there's a good chance the school won't do anything anyway especially as the worst of it seems to be when he's walking down the road to catch the bus afterwards. Also I feel like it's a bit my fault. He was friends with the horrible kids but he wasn't happy because they would single out members of the gang to be mean to and he didn't like feeling like he was being horrible to others and obviously didn't like it when it was his turn to be the target. The latest target was a kid that he gets on really well with so I told him that he shouldn't abandon his good friend for a bunch of friends that were going to do exactly the same to him in a few weeks. So he didn't and joined the ostracised group and now they get followed round being taunted by the lovely little bastards. I kinda wish I could just go and slap them all but that's probably illegal. Oldest (17 years old) I just don't know any more. Typical teenage stuff and the uncertainty it all creates, also he's an argumentative toerag at times and that ends up with him and his step dad shouting at each other and I hate it more than anything in the world. He also got caught with a bag of weed which is going to affect his university plans as he wants to do something that requires police checks. Sorry about the wall of text.
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Feb 23, 2014 09:42
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hookerbot 5000 posted:I don't really want to let her cry because discounting all the issues around it there are 2 kids and a husband who need to go to school/work and being kept up all night would be poo poo for everyone. We didn't want to do cry-it-out at all, but we ended up resorting to it because she just would not let herself be comforted. We tried everything, but she just got more agitated. Eventually we figured that well, since she cries for hours when we're in there with here, we can try to let her cry when we're not. So we did the cry it out with regular visits to pat her head and let her know we're there, but that she's in her bed now and nothing is going to change that. First night she cried for 40 minutes, which was still over an hour shorter than on every night the previous week, the next she cried for 15 minutes, and now she basically just goes "wah!" and nods off. If she's had a rough day she'll sometimes cry for 5-10 minutes, but it's nothing like the screamfests we had when we tried to soothe her to sleep. So if you've tried everything else, trying cry it out for a couple of nights might be worth a try. We didn't want to do it, but it turned out to be what our baby needed - she just got more worked up with us in the room.
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Feb 23, 2014 12:40
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You obviously can't go intimidate a bunch of kids, but maybe your seventeen year old could. That's part of what big brothers are for. How badly does the weed thing affect university plans? That's unfortunate, did he have to go to jail at all? Community college should still be an option, and that arrest won't look so bad in ten years or so once weed is probably decriminalized. greatn fucked around with this message at 16:43 on Feb 23, 2014 |
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Feb 23, 2014 16:40
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Sockmuppet posted:We didn't want to do cry-it-out at all, but we ended up resorting to it because she just would not let herself be comforted. We tried everything, but she just got more agitated. Eventually we figured that well, since she cries for hours when we're in there with here, we can try to let her cry when we're not. The trouble is it's not just one part of the evening, it's all night. She is waking up every hour to 90 minutes then either cries if she is in her cot until I take her into the bed to feed her or just wakes up to stick her fingers in our eyes/try to crawl out of the bed if she is already there. Sometimes feeding her will distract her from the suicide mission and make her go back to sleep, sometimes not. She actually goes to bed pretty well, I take her up at half seven and feed her then put her in the cot and if she's still awake she'll fall asleep with me sitting beside the cot with my hands on her tummy. The problems start about midnight. Sometimes I'll go to bed at half seven with her but that means I miss out on helping the older kids with homework/tidying/all the other crap I'm meant to do. greatn posted:You obviously can't go intimidate a bunch of kids, but maybe your seventeen year old could. That's part of what big brothers are for. I did think about it but in Scotland he's classed as an adult and however bad a little lump of grass looks getting cautioned for intimidating kids would be a hell of a lot worse. And these kids are little shits, they really are. They would laugh in his face and call him a oval office then go home and tell their mums that some big boy was mean to them. He got a warning and a £75 fine which is considered pretty light. The only reason it's a problem is because he wants to do sports coaching and as that can involve working with children they have to get a PVG disclosure which is like a police check that records all interactions the individual has had with the police. He could do something else but the way the university entrance stuff works here it's too late for this year at least. Edit: My oldest isn't a bad kid. He's an idiot and a bit lippy lately but he's not bad. His school reports are always glowing, he's stuck in to the end of sixth year unlike a lot of his friends, he's been volunteering with a local swimming class for a couple of years and has been working part time as well for the last six months. hookerbot 5000 fucked around with this message at 18:39 on Feb 23, 2014 |
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Feb 23, 2014 17:45
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hookerbot 5000 posted:She is waking up every hour to 90 minutes Oh man, that sounds horrible. Has it been going on for long? I've only had this one kid for 7,5 months, so I'm a total noob, but the main lesson I've learned about babies is that everything is a phase. All our troubles have passed at some point (to be replaced by other troubles, but still). Hopefully you'll get more normal nights soon. Oh, does she eat well? My kid is normally a great sleeper, but if she's eaten poorly, she wakes up more frequently without fail. That's all I've got 
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Feb 23, 2014 20:18
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So my daughter is starting overnights with me next weekend, her first time sleeping away from her mother. She's 13 months and I just got the crib put together this week. I am not really sure what to expect at this point, because I've never had this type of situation. It could go well, or it could be a nightmare. Nobody knows. I have no issues calming her down, but if she starts wailing/refusing to sleep, what suggestions are there? I can easily get her to nap, but that's because she's in the same room as me/I rock her to sleep. Anyone else been in this situation before with some good things to have on hand/tricks to try if things get rough? I'm trying to be as prepared as possible for this, but I know it's hard to prepare for the unexpected with kids this young.
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Feb 24, 2014 05:05
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Why can't you put her in the same room as you/rock her to sleep just like nap time? If it works, it works.
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Feb 24, 2014 05:49
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If you have an exercise ball you can hold her and bounce on that. If you know how to comfort her and put her to sleep though that should still be working. Have bottles as ready to go as you can make them.
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Feb 24, 2014 07:21
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momtartin posted:So my daughter is starting overnights with me next weekend, her first time sleeping away from her mother. She's 13 months and I just got the crib put together this week. I am not really sure what to expect at this point, because I've never had this type of situation. It could go well, or it could be a nightmare. Nobody knows. I have no issues calming her down, but if she starts wailing/refusing to sleep, what suggestions are there? I can easily get her to nap, but that's because she's in the same room as me/I rock her to sleep. Anyone else been in this situation before with some good things to have on hand/tricks to try if things get rough? Find out what her mother is doing as well. Babies are creatures of habit so it probably doesn't hurt to try to keep the nighttime routine as similar as possible.
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Feb 24, 2014 09:39
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Sockmuppet posted:Oh man, that sounds horrible. Has it been going on for long? I've only had this one kid for 7,5 months, so I'm a total noob, but the main lesson I've learned about babies is that everything is a phase. All our troubles have passed at some point (to be replaced by other troubles, but still). Hopefully you'll get more normal nights soon. She seems to eat okay, not a huge fan of solids but I can usually get at least two out of three meals into her. She's a wee chunk too now which is a bit surprising seeing as she was only 5lb when she was born and took forever to get back to her birth weight. I guess it's just going to have to be wait it out but I can't say how much I'm looking forward to getting out from under the cloud of constant exhaustion. It's funny though, by the time you get to kid 4 you think you'll know what you're doing but they are all so different.
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Feb 24, 2014 15:01
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Kalenn Istarion posted:Find out what her mother is doing as well. Babies are creatures of habit so it probably doesn't hurt to try to keep the nighttime routine as similar as possible. Yea I have the overnight schedule, so that will help. I just don't know what to expect, so I'm a little nervous. Excited, but nervous. As for sleeping in the same room, I don't wanna start that habit.
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Feb 24, 2014 20:18
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hookerbot 5000 posted:He got a warning and a £75 fine which is considered pretty light. The only reason it's a problem is because he wants to do sports coaching and as that can involve working with children they have to get a PVG disclosure which is like a police check that records all interactions the individual has had with the police. He could do something else but the way the university entrance stuff works here it's too late for this year at least.
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Feb 24, 2014 22:27
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momtartin posted:Yea I have the overnight schedule, so that will help. I just don't know what to expect, so I'm a little nervous. Excited, but nervous. Since he's over 1 there's really no need to. If he expects it you might have some crying but eventually tiredness will win (yours or his).
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Feb 25, 2014 08:22
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I am looking for baby carrier brand recommendations. Many people in the thread have lauded baby carriers for their practicality and for promoting muscle development in babies, but to my knowledge no one has recommended a specific model or make. My best friend is having a baby shower soon and I'd like to give him one. After doing some preliminary research, the BabyBjorn came up, but from what I've seen it's somewhat criticized for being too rigid. Any insight?
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Feb 25, 2014 22:35
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I used moby wrap for the first few months then ergo. Finally I have a big frame backpack carrier for longer trips. Can't remember the brand off the top of my head. I really liked the moby wrap but I'm a man with no hips (anti-hips if you count the love handles) and big babies. I could only use them for so long.
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Feb 25, 2014 22:43
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You want a carrier that the baby sits in a seated position and isn't dangling by their crotch. Since it's for a dad I'd say a soft structured buckle carrier would be best instead of a wrap. A commonly available carrier is "ergo". I have the sport version. We used it from about 2 months with the infant insert. The new hotness of carriers that I know of is "tula". You'll be shocked at it's high pricetag. There was one that was meant for dad's with a bunch of zippers and caribiner clips and made out of nylon that dad's were supposed to love but I can't find it right now. Found it. It's the "onya". Baby has to be 6 months old for this one though. Hdip fucked around with this message at 23:10 on Feb 25, 2014 |
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Feb 25, 2014 23:02
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I liked the Baby K'Tan for a newborn to around four or five months old and then an Ergo for after that.
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Feb 25, 2014 23:04
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Bloody Mayhem posted:Any insight? Get them something that is very easy to exchange, because in my experience carrier preference is highly personal. That's why there's no universal "this is the one you want" recommendation.
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Feb 25, 2014 23:04
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If you are super cheap, you can get a free Seven Sling online. Just search for free codes on Google. We used them for the first 10 months of our kids lives, then switched to Ergos and Ergo knock-offs.
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Feb 25, 2014 23:12
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Thanks a lot, parents!
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Feb 25, 2014 23:31
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This might be a silly question, but does anyone have tips for engaging their toddler over the phone? When my wife puts Alex on, our conversations usually go like this: OK, here's Alexandra! Hello, Alex! Hi! Hi! ... How are you doing today! ... Did you have a nice time today? Did you have a nice nap? ... What does the sheep say? BAAAA!!! What does the doggy say? WOOOF!!! And what do you say? ...! (phone thuds) I think she's done talking, she just ran into the other roomI mean, I know my kid isn't going to reply with "I had a positively splended day, thank you for asking" but I know that she can say "hi daddy!", and she says plenty in person, more than just animal noises.
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Feb 26, 2014 00:49
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Volmarias posted:This might be a silly question, but does anyone have tips for engaging their toddler over the phone? When my wife puts Alex on, our conversations usually go like this: Skype is much better for toddlers. My kid is mute on the phone, but the moment he sees Grandma on the laptop he is 
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Feb 26, 2014 01:25
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It's hard for little ones to talk on the phone like that. Something where they can see you is much easier like Skype or FaceTime.
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Feb 26, 2014 04:29
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Ring slings are awesome baby carriers. Not the crappy uncomfortable Balboa Baby you see in stores, but something like a Maya Wrap or a Rockin Baby, or even something from Etsy. They're easy to adjust and a lot easier to understand when you've got a tiny baby to deal with.
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Feb 26, 2014 04:32
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Volmarias posted:This might be a silly question, but does anyone have tips for engaging their toddler over the phone? When my wife puts Alex on, our conversations usually go like this: She'll figure it out. I remember lots of calls with my little guy on the phone that went pretty much like that until he figured out what to say. I want to say he was around 3ish when he got better at talking to me without seeing. Skype is better but not a guarantee. My guy did the same thing on Skype as he did on the phone. Re: baby carrier discussion, we have a baby Bjorn and have never had any problem with it. Both our kids have loved to be carried around in them. Their entry-level ones don't have as many options but the one we got was mesh so breathable and adjusts really nicely to support load. Both I (6 feet) and my wife (4'10") we're able to use it comfortably.
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Feb 26, 2014 09:31
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With the talk of carriers and such...I was cleaning out last night and I have one of the Seven Slings slings (in a green/white pattern) that I'd be happy to shove in a bubble mailer and send to anyone in the lower 48 who PM's me their info. And little kids don't talk on the phone well; it's just how it is I think. VorpalBunny is right on with Skype. I think it's the disconnect that they can't see who they're talking to that boggles their little minds.
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Feb 26, 2014 16:54
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Speaking of carriers, anyone know any good twin carriers? My back is better than my wife's, so I'm probably going to be stuck carrying our litter when we're in non-stroller-friendly areas. Edit: twin backpack carrier recommendations would also be awesome when they get bigger.
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Feb 26, 2014 17:01
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AlistairCookie posted:And little kids don't talk on the phone well; it's just how it is I think. VorpalBunny is right on with Skype. I think it's the disconnect that they can't see who they're talking to that boggles their little minds. Haha, we've had mixed results with phone/facetime. On one hand, Briar loves seeing daddy's face talking to her from my phone, and on the other, the allure of the giant red END CALL button they put on the face-time screen is too much for her to handle. She can't NOT press it, and then freaks out when daddy's face disappears because she still wanted to talk to/see him. It is both kind of funny and exasperating at the same time.
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Feb 26, 2014 18:42
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Our newborn is 1 week old today. Everything is great so far except sleeping habits, obviously. My wife is getting super upset because he'll only sleep if he's laying on one of us, he starts wailing immediately if we try and lay him down in his napper. This is normal for a newborn right? We're practicing putting him in the napper as long as he'll tolerate it, usually 20-30 minutes. She's concerned because our pediatrician told us that he needs to be sleeping by himself. Also I have to go back to work next week, and she's afraid she'll get zero sleep if she has to stay up with him while he's sleeping on her. We swaddle him after feedings and he has no problem sleeping 2-3 hours at a time, he just will not tolerate sleeping in his napper. Any advice or is this just a stage we need to power through?
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Feb 26, 2014 19:06
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Sneeing Emu posted:Our newborn is 1 week old today. Everything is great so far except sleeping habits, obviously. My wife is getting super upset because he'll only sleep if he's laying on one of us, he starts wailing immediately if we try and lay him down in his napper. This is normal for a newborn right? We're practicing putting him in the napper as long as he'll tolerate it, usually 20-30 minutes. She's concerned because our pediatrician told us that he needs to be sleeping by himself. Also I have to go back to work next week, and she's afraid she'll get zero sleep if she has to stay up with him while he's sleeping on her. We swaddle him after feedings and he has no problem sleeping 2-3 hours at a time, he just will not tolerate sleeping in his napper. Any advice or is this just a stage we need to power through? That's normal and if I were you I'd get a new pediatrician, because yours is either a loving idiot or knows much less about newborns than they should.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:11
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Maybe try an alternate napper? We had a bassinet and a pack n play with napper, and he really wouldn't sleep in the bassinet at all, had to be in the napper. And very soon only liked the bassinet portion of the pack n play. Yours might just not like that particular napper. For the first month though, our pediatrician had us waking up Arthur every two hours to feed, not switching to on demand until almost a full month went by. We took turns so essentially each got a four hour shift of sleep.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:15
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Papercut posted:That's normal and if I were you I'd get a new pediatrician, because yours is either a loving idiot or knows much less about newborns than they should. I may have phrased that a bit too succinctly, he said he'll need to sleep by himself eventually (he also has a thick German accent, so he may have phrased it wrong too). She's more worried about being on her own and not getting to sleep when I go back to work, even though my mother only lives 15 minutes away and wants to come help during the day. First time parent jitters plus hormones I'm sure, hopefully I can convince her this is normal.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:18
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^^^ That's way more reasonable. The first weeks are super hard. Maybe she'll feel better if you and your mother make sure that housework and things like that are done, so that your wife doesn't feel like she has to worry about anything else but the baby. Sneeing Emu posted:Our newborn is 1 week old today. Everything is great so far except sleeping habits, obviously. My wife is getting super upset because he'll only sleep if he's laying on one of us, he starts wailing immediately if we try and lay him down in his napper. This is normal for a newborn right? We're practicing putting him in the napper as long as he'll tolerate it, usually 20-30 minutes. She's concerned because our pediatrician told us that he needs to be sleeping by himself. Also I have to go back to work next week, and she's afraid she'll get zero sleep if she has to stay up with him while he's sleeping on her. We swaddle him after feedings and he has no problem sleeping 2-3 hours at a time, he just will not tolerate sleeping in his napper. Any advice or is this just a stage we need to power through? 1 week old babies are basically fetuses yet, and don't "need" to do anything. Do whatever you need to do to get by during the first weeks, then as baby gets bigger things will start sorting themselves out. Practicing with the napper is good, but if he doesn't want to sleep there, then he doesn't want to sleep there. To get some sleep in the daytime for the first couple of weeks I used to prop myself up with pillows to make sure that I wouldn't tip over, and slept with baby on top of me
Sockmuppet fucked around with this message at 19:23 on Feb 26, 2014 |
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Feb 26, 2014 19:21
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It should be noted cosleeping greatly increases the risk of Sids.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:24
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Sneeing Emu posted:I may have phrased that a bit too succinctly, he said he'll need to sleep by himself eventually (he also has a thick German accent, so he may have phrased it wrong too). She's more worried about being on her own and not getting to sleep when I go back to work, even though my mother only lives 15 minutes away and wants to come help during the day. First time parent jitters plus hormones I'm sure, hopefully I can convince her this is normal. For the first week and a half or so, my wife and I alternated holding him at night because in our arms was the only way he'd sleep. I gradually figured out that I could lay down with him in the crook of my arm and he was fine with that, then just kept my arm around him, and then he pretty quickly became comfortable just sleeping next to us. We stopped co-sleeping around 4-5 months I think? We did it because we thought it might help him sleep better, but later regretted it because he later became intolerant of co-sleeping which made nights much tougher. He started sleeping through the night at 13 months; at that point he would cry more if we went to him at night, so we did one night of cry it out (about an hour of crying) and that was that. Prior to that point we hadn't done any CIO. So yeah, "eventually" he'll need to sleep on his own, but that eventually definitely doesn't need to be in a week or two. greatn posted:It should be noted cosleeping greatly increases the risk of Sids. Only in populations that are obese, smokers, or drinkers.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:26
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greatn posted:It should be noted cosleeping greatly increases the risk of Sids. Yeah she's worried about that too. Right now we alternate one person sleeping and one person staying awake to hold the baby. Thanks for the advice everyone, I figured this was normal.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:29
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Papercut posted:For the first week and a half or so, my wife and I alternated holding him at night because in our arms was the only way he'd sleep. I gradually figured out that I could lay down with him in the crook of my arm and he was fine with that, then just kept my arm around him, and then he pretty quickly became comfortable just sleeping next to us. Not true, new studies have found it increases the risk even in non smoking non drinking normal weight populations. http://m.livescience.com/34531-co-sleeping-baby-sids-risk.html greatn fucked around with this message at 19:33 on Feb 26, 2014 |
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Feb 26, 2014 19:30
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Well the holter-EKG is done, wasn't that difficult, David didn't really mind the probes. Got a diary to write down all the times we handled him or he was crying and such. Using that and 24 hours of logging they can tell how he's recovered from the surgery with regards to the arrythmia he got afterwards. Hopefully we can stop with the propranolol medication. And man having twins, I can't remember the last time we all went shopping and complete strangers didn't come up to us to check them out and ask about them, also all the head turnings.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:43
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greatn posted:Not true, new studies have found it increases the risk even in non smoking non drinking normal weight populations. That is one study, that wasn't actually a study but a meta-analysis of 5 studies that were as old as 25 years, long before educational campaigns for safe sleeping began. Everyone is free to draw their own conclusions, but I wouldn't come close to considering that a definitive study. quote:This publication analyses SIDS-risks associated with bed-sharing under different circumstances using data from five historical SIDS studies. Unlike previous analyses of these data, this analysis includes data on feeding type. It promises, at last, to enable those of us working with parents and the staff who support them to be able to answer complicated but commonly asked questions about SIDS, and allow parents to make informed decisions about any potential risk associated with their personal and cultural infant care beliefs and behaviours.
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Feb 26, 2014 19:48
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Yeah, that meta analysis seems suspect to me as well. If you are considering cosleeping I suggest checking out McKenna's research on the subject.
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Feb 26, 2014 20:01
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