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Duckie
Sep 12, 2010

This is sewious!
Hello thread! We got married back in Nov and are planning on getting eloped because our families are a pain in the butt and we are very private people. We've been thinking about somewhere on a beach... I really have no idea how to start, there are so many different places, and then do you go with some all inclusive place or small resort or what. I know some places have different restrictions on getting a marriage license, is it better just to go to the court house before you go? Or is it worth it to get one at the destination? Anyone get eloped and have any advice or like where they went?

I also really want engagement pictures taken, but it's the gross middle of the winter here and I feel like it would be stupid to take some months after it's happened.

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Pigasus
Dec 26, 2009

Too fat to wear pink.

Duckie posted:

I also really want engagement pictures taken, but it's the gross middle of the winter here and I feel like it would be stupid to take some months after it's happened.

For the engagement pictures, take them indoors.

Sab0921
Aug 2, 2004

This for my justices slingin' thangs, rib breakin' kings / Truck, necklace, robe, gavel and things / For the solicitors seein' them dissents spin and grin / That robe with the lace trim that win.
Wedding Cakes!

http://www.onewed.com/wedding-cake-picture/blog/wedding-cake-crush-ron-ben-isreal

The last one is the least traditional, but the most interesting. Thoughts?

Sab0921 fucked around with this message at 18:56 on Feb 19, 2014

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.
The one issue I could see with the last one lies with the cake baker's skill level. Getting perfectly aligned and straight rings around the cake may be difficult for some.

When you go to get a cake, bring ideas of what you want but ultimately choose something based on the cake baker's portfolio. If you bring in a picture of a world famous cake baker's cake to your average cake shop going "I want THIS" you're going to be disappointed. What we did was bring in pictures of cakes we liked and found similar ones in our baker's portfolio, then listened to the baker's input as to what she thought would work for us, our venue, our guest list and her abilities then we tweaked the basic design into our own unique cake.

kittiesgomeow
Oct 13, 2008

This avatar cost on average $27.
Looking for some more great advice from you guys! (By the way, if you happen to remember, I was able to find a pink dress, no dying required!)

My fiance and I have decided we won't have dancing at our reception. Aside from the fact that we do not like to dance, many of the guests there I know won't particularly want to dance either. I've thought of having some yard games for people to play if they're done eating (we have an outdoor ceremony) but I wondered if there was something else we could have to keep people entertained if they really feel the need? We have a small wedding (50 people or less, TOTAL) and since everyone knows everyone pretty well, I don't really anticipate people not just enjoying getting to see each other. But we also don't really want toasts, so is this just going to be the most boring reception ever? Personal friends of ours are able to stay at the venue with us through the night where we can do more fun things, but I'd hate for guests of my (much older) parents be bored out of their minds.

Second, we also don't see the point in hiring a DJ since there won't be any dancing, so we plan to just have some ambiance music playing during reception. Does anyone have any tips on the type of equipment we need? I have picked up some of the various articles on things to consider when making a playlist so we'll definitely be considering that, but hiring a person just to play background music seems weird.

Finally, what's a better way to look for wedding readings? Googling "secular wedding readings" shows up a lot of the same stuff over and over again, and most of it is a miss for us. My fiance doesn't read much (except for research papers) so using something from a favorite book is kind of out of the question. Just looking for a site that I could peruse through in the coming months!


I thought I'd also add that kvetch.indiebride.com does not seem to load, might need to update OP.


Edit: We are having an evening wedding, and I've found some stuff from OffbeatBride which pretty much tells me I'm doing an okay replacement with having lawn games instead of dancing. So that's good to hear!

kittiesgomeow fucked around with this message at 21:32 on Feb 19, 2014

samizdat
Dec 3, 2008
I finally found a dress. David's Bridal was looking like a huge mistake. I hate trying on clothes and this was the worst. I don't want strapless (and don't like the look of the sleeves they'd add to strapless dresses) because I'm only a B cup and worried about the dress staying up. Then I went in and was handed none of the dresses I listed on my "favorites." I made a second appointment and it was more useful because I forced them to show me the dresses I wanted to see, but nothing truly stuck out until finally the consultant/dress helper person just handed me a book of dresses to look at. I picked out another one to try and I actually liked it. It reminds me of my grandmother's wedding dress that my mom wore, except modern and more flattering. And it was on sale for less than $500. It will need to be hemmed, bustled, and the straps shortened, but drat am I glad that's over.

I don't know whether to buy my undergarments (strapless bra/corset thing and a slip) from them too or to try to find something at a department store that will likely be cheaper or better quality. Bonus points if I can get it on myself without needing someone else to do the back hooks for me.

Apparently veils cost a ton of money. It's mesh attached to a hair comb.

Kitten Kisses
Apr 2, 2007

Dancing with myself.
You can get a veil for under 20 bucks on ebay, the mesh is probably lower quality but they look perfectly fine and I couldn't really tell the difference between my $15 ebay veil and the similar $200 veil from DB.

samizdat
Dec 3, 2008
Yeah I was looking at them and thought one looked nice until I checked the price tag. $200? After paying hundreds for a dress and then special undergarments for it? Hell no, time for Etsy/eBay.

Starla
May 9, 2005

I hit men during sex....... and not during sex.
So, engaged since last May, but not planning on having a ceremony until summer 2016, when I'm done getting my master's. I'm beginning to get an idea of what we want to do; very beginning stages, obviously.

One thing we KNOW we want is to have a honeymoon registry instead of a gift registry. Because we've lived together for so long already, we don't really need anything, and would much rather have a kick-rear end honeymoon. We were hoping for a tour of Europe.

I'm hoping I can get some recommendations on honeymoon registries.

I heard at one point that there is one where you can list 2 different honeymoon locations and people put down money towards the one they want. The one with the most money wins, and the couple goes there. They get to keep all the money (regardless of what honeymoon it went towards), and use it towards the honeymoon they go on. Kind of an incentive to draw on competitiveness and get people to put down more money if they are really passionate about the couple going the place they want them to go.
Anyone heard of this/know where I can go to find the info? Google doesn't really tell me anything.

ihatepants
Nov 5, 2011

Let the burning of pants commence. These things drive me nuts.



Starla posted:

So, engaged since last May, but not planning on having a ceremony until summer 2016, when I'm done getting my master's. I'm beginning to get an idea of what we want to do; very beginning stages, obviously.

One thing we KNOW we want is to have a honeymoon registry instead of a gift registry. Because we've lived together for so long already, we don't really need anything, and would much rather have a kick-rear end honeymoon. We were hoping for a tour of Europe.

I'm hoping I can get some recommendations on honeymoon registries.

I heard at one point that there is one where you can list 2 different honeymoon locations and people put down money towards the one they want. The one with the most money wins, and the couple goes there. They get to keep all the money (regardless of what honeymoon it went towards), and use it towards the honeymoon they go on. Kind of an incentive to draw on competitiveness and get people to put down more money if they are really passionate about the couple going the place they want them to go.
Anyone heard of this/know where I can go to find the info? Google doesn't really tell me anything.

This sounds really awesome and would be great for me and my fiancee as well since we're getting married in the Philippines, but will be ultimately settling in the US. A gift registry just isn't feasible because how are we going to take any crap we're given back home.

If you find out how to do a honeymoon registry easily, please share!

Edit: Also, how do I deal with this issue? It's probably in bad taste to put on the invitations that we don't want gifts and would rather be given money or something, but we're expecting 400-500 guests and as I've said there's no way we're going to be able to bring any physical gifts with us back to the US. Even shipping that stuff would cost a fortune.

ihatepants fucked around with this message at 08:53 on Feb 25, 2014

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.

ihatepants posted:

Edit: Also, how do I deal with this issue? It's probably in bad taste to put on the invitations that we don't want gifts and would rather be given money or something, but we're expecting 400-500 guests and as I've said there's no way we're going to be able to bring any physical gifts with us back to the US. Even shipping that stuff would cost a fortune.

Make a few registries, but only put a few really expensive or awkward to wrap presents on them. People will see those and be like "gently caress it gift card/cash time". Or they'll mail it directly to you, so put your US address on your registries. If you don't register at all people will decide on their own what you need and you will end up with a lot of weird things. A lot of people will ask where you're registered and that's a good opportunity to explain that you don't need more stuff because you're moving and just them coming to your wedding is enough of a gift and blah blah blah.

We had the same issue of already owning everything we needed so we registered for upgrades to household stuff we already had. IKEA kitchenware replaced by Williams Sonoma, Walmart sheets and towels replaced by Macys hotel collection, etc. Then after the wedding all our old stuff went to Goodwill. We don't have any more stuff than we did before the wedding, but it's all much nicer.

Nicol Bolas
Feb 13, 2009
If you register for big and awkward-to-wrap gifts, you run the very serious risk of recieving them. Why not just put on the invites "we are registered at [website link]" and the link is something like HoneyFund or another honeymoon registry site. That way, you can package it in a more traditional-relative-friendly way; "you're not giving us money, you're buying us a night at the hotel we want to stay at for our honeymoon!" That kind of thing. Some may decide to buy you something anyway, but I bet "registering" at a place where people can give you cash for your honeymoon will make it crystal clear what you want, and will package it attractively.

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.
Yeah, never register for stuff you don't actually want or would use.

We registered for exercise equipment. We'd use it if someone got it but hell if anyone was going to pay to ship us a rowing machine.

Faxman
Feb 27, 2009
Just got engaged on the weekend :toot:

I've been planning on doing it on Feb 22nd (2-22 is a nice easy date to remember) but I've been carrying around the ring for a month just in case the perfect moment popped up. It didn't so I went with my first plan.

We had tickets to a big wine tasting that night, and were going to book a nice hotel room downtown and make a fancy weekend out of it. I set it up with the hotel that we would have flower petals set up in the room (including a heart with our initials on the bed), champagne, and chocolates. I knew she didn't want a public proposal at all so we just relaxed in the room for a bit had some champagne. Once we were nice and relaxed I told her I had something serious to talk about. I said I didn't really want to go to the wine tasting with my girlfriend, and before she had a chance to fully process that I got down on my knee took the ring out of my pocket and asked her to marry me. She started crying and nodded yes :woop:. Slipped the ring on and it fit perfectly, which made her start crying again. Then because I'm a dork I took a ring box out of my other pocket that had a giant candy ringpop in it and told her she could have that ring if the first one wasn't big enough.

All in all I'm just happy and have been running out of friends to tell and wanted to tell a bunch of other people.

After we started telling people we found out that my cousin has kept a huge wedding binder from her wedding and has used it to plan 5 or 6 weddings for her friends since then and would be really happy to help with ours (and also offered her son up as a ring bearer). My stepmom's best friend happens to be apparently a really good wedding photographer (I'm told she's been flown to different countries to handle people's weddings) so there's a small chance we may be able to get a deal on her services. So with absolutely no thought put into things yet (except random details we want, like no chicken dance, wedding pie instead of wedding cake, people we would want in the wedding party) everything looks to be going well. Please nobody spoil that with being realistic yet.

And just as a question, even after just being engaged for just a couple hours why were people asking us if we had set a date/picked a location/chosen a colour scheme? Is it just that that's the standard question you ask when you find out someone's getting married or do they honestly expect an answer?

Gunshow Poophole
Sep 14, 2008

OMBUDSMAN
POSTERS LOCAL 42069




Clapping Larry

Faxman posted:


And just as a question, even after just being engaged for just a couple hours why were people asking us if we had set a date/picked a location/chosen a colour scheme? Is it just that that's the standard question you ask when you find out someone's getting married or do they honestly expect an answer?

I reckon it's either A) polite small talk because those are acceptable questions to ask of someone whose status is now set to "engaged" or B) I know a lot of people who have like, planned their goddamn traditional weddings since the day they were of legal age to a T and have ideas of exactly how long the engagement should last, where they'll hold it, their favorite color, etc.

Indentured Servant
Aug 31, 2008
If you want to have a long table, how exactly do you cover it? Just put the tablecloths over the individuals separately then push them together?

Indentured Servant
Aug 31, 2008

We're not having dancing either; I think you can assume people are capable of entertaining themselves. If you have lawn games some people will be playing those and others will probably be chatting/drinking/whatever.

Shbobdb
Dec 16, 2010

by Reene

Stew Man Chew posted:

I reckon it's either A) polite small talk because those are acceptable questions to ask of someone whose status is now set to "engaged" or B) I know a lot of people who have like, planned their goddamn traditional weddings since the day they were of legal age to a T and have ideas of exactly how long the engagement should last, where they'll hold it, their favorite color, etc.

Weddings are also a lot of fun. People have fun talking about big awesome parties :)

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.

Indentured Servant posted:

If you want to have a long table, how exactly do you cover it? Just put the tablecloths over the individuals separately then push them together?

How long are we talking? Event rental places have table cloths of every size you can imagine. If your table is longer than the biggest table cloth they have, then they do just what you said-- put table cloths on each table them shove them together.

kittiesgomeow posted:

My fiance and I have decided we won't have dancing at our reception.

We were on the fence about spending money on a DJ since we don't really dance and neither do our families. We got one anyway so we'd have an emcee and a way to provide ambient music during the cocktail hour and dinner at least that wasn't an iPod hooked up to speakers. What really ended up happening was the dance floor was full from the end of dinner till when the venue kicked us out at the end of the evening, and people who claim they "don't dance" were dancing with random people they'd never met before. Your guests may surprise you. I'd run the idea past several close friends/family members to see what they think before nixing music altogether.

You mentioned an evening wedding and lawn games in the same post. Are you planning on having your guests play in the dark? Even with floodlights lawn games after dark aren't nearly as fun.

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003
100(ish)person wedding in February of 2015.
Venue is quoting us 11240 including ceremony, hot chocolate bar (which we are going to get rid of for more savings), food, ice cream bar, consumption bar, and no room fee.

We have to get a photographer (which we do have), dj, and cheap cake from Shaw's.

Anyone have good recommendations for a DJ in Greater Boston.

Starla
May 9, 2005

I hit men during sex....... and not during sex.

ihatepants posted:

This sounds really awesome and would be great for me and my fiancee as well since we're getting married in the Philippines, but will be ultimately settling in the US. A gift registry just isn't feasible because how are we going to take any crap we're given back home.

If you find out how to do a honeymoon registry easily, please share!


I've found various honeymoon registry websites, but nothing that has the option I'm looking for where people put money towards the trip they think the couple should take (and thusly getting more money out of people!)

Does anyone know of any websites for general fundraising that has an option like this? I'm having a lot of trouble finding anything :(

razz
Dec 26, 2005

Queen of Maceration

ihatepants posted:

Edit: Also, how do I deal with this issue? It's probably in bad taste to put on the invitations that we don't want gifts and would rather be given money or something, but we're expecting 400-500 guests and as I've said there's no way we're going to be able to bring any physical gifts with us back to the US. Even shipping that stuff would cost a fortune.

I know I've posted this before but my husband and I just put "hosts request no gifts" on our invites. We ended up just getting a buttload of money. I can't remember exactly how much but it was like $3500+, enough to fund our honeymoon. And yes we blew it ALL on the honeymoon, we came back and had about $150 left :)

razz fucked around with this message at 05:46 on Feb 26, 2014

LogisticEarth
Mar 28, 2004

Someone once told me, "Time is a flat circle".

Aquatic Giraffe posted:

We were on the fence about spending money on a DJ since we don't really dance and neither do our families. We got one anyway so we'd have an emcee and a way to provide ambient music during the cocktail hour and dinner at least that wasn't an iPod hooked up to speakers. What really ended up happening was the dance floor was full from the end of dinner till when the venue kicked us out at the end of the evening, and people who claim they "don't dance" were dancing with random people they'd never met before. Your guests may surprise you. I'd run the idea past several close friends/family members to see what they think before nixing music altogether.

Yeah, no dancing is a bit risky, but no music sounds like you risk turning it into a snorefest. I wasn't a huge dancer, but I knew there would be people who would be into it. Luckily our venue had a decent sound system and I made up a 3.5 hour long playlist and rented a dance floor. Turned out great and didn't cost that much. Point is, while the reception is "your gig", it's still a party. And part of throwing a party is making sure your guests have plenty of stuff to do. This doesn't mean you have to have goofy organized dances like the Electric Slide or whatever. Instead, maybe just have some energetic music an open space with a hard floor for people to get funky if they're so inclined.

Gunshow Poophole
Sep 14, 2008

OMBUDSMAN
POSTERS LOCAL 42069




Clapping Larry
My wedding bands showed up, 4 months too early to wear :(



click for super huge. Mokume gane is just fantastic.

Death of Rats
Oct 2, 2005

SQUEAK
So, I'm in the process of getting engaged, organizing a wedding and other such madness. Ring is ordered (which I'm super psyched about), and will be given to the future Mrs. Rats soon enough (gotta wait until Easter Break, as she's a teacher (for now; long story) and she wants "more than a weekend to enjoy being engaged"). After surprisingly few jewellers visits (I was expecting to be trekking around various places for at least a month; it took two weekends), we found a design we liked, and ordered it from https://kinetique.co.uk - a company who do lab grown diamonds at a reasonable price.

Check this pretty motherfucker out:


I'm now in the throes of planning a proposal. Currently planning a little picnic in Dunham Massey deer park. It's somewhere we've been walking a few times together, in the grounds of a big old house (she's a member of the National Trust, and a fan of said big old house). It's still a bit of an inside joke that me and her sat eating venison sandwiches in their cafe, whilst watching the fawns in the gardens. (Guess what's on the menu?). I bought a really pretty picnic basket, and I'm going to fill it with little sandwiches, scones, champagne and tiny cakes. Since she didn't want a particularly public proposal, I'm going to find a nice secluded spot, set up the blanket, eat some afternoon tea, and then present the ring after dinner (with the champagne). I'm super excited, so I couldn't help posting it somewhere (that she won't find).

On another note, I found a place that does custom fridge poetry magnets. I think this could be a cute save-the-date alternative - using the words from some cute/funny poem or other (so if anyone has a favourite (short) poem on the topic of love or marriage, I'd love to read them).

One more thing: two of our good friends have decided to get engaged about a month ago. They have, irritatingly, decided to get married in "Autumn 2015". Which comprises of a fuckload of days. We're hoping to get married next September; which is obviously within their Autumnal time frame. Since it's bothering me now (it shouldn't, but I'm impatient), and I won't be able to tell any IRL people until April, how close can two weddings be without problems arising (there will be at least 20 people that would be invited to both)?

KasioDiscoRock
Nov 17, 2000

Are you alive?

Death of Rats posted:


One more thing: two of our good friends have decided to get engaged about a month ago. They have, irritatingly, decided to get married in "Autumn 2015". Which comprises of a fuckload of days. We're hoping to get married next September; which is obviously within their Autumnal time frame. Since it's bothering me now (it shouldn't, but I'm impatient), and I won't be able to tell any IRL people until April, how close can two weddings be without problems arising (there will be at least 20 people that would be invited to both)?

My old roommate and I are each getting married about 6 weeks apart. They actually chose their date first, and once we got engaged and were trying to figure out the best time for us, it just worked out best that way (and they were fine with it, no Bridezilla moments thankfully). There's probably about a dozen people who will be invited to both. Even if it's closer than 6 weeks I don't really see it being a problem. We have 3 weddings to go to this summer, and as long as they're not all the same weekend, it wouldn't really matter to us how close any of them were because they're all weddings that are important to us to attend.

PopRocks
Jul 4, 2003

WTF am I reading?
As long as they aren't on the same day and you aren't both inviting family that has to travel thousands of miles to get to each wedding, nobody cares. We're friends with a couple who chose March 14th, 2015 (pi) and we're so jealous.

2DEG
Apr 13, 2011

If I hear the words "luck dragon" one more time, so fucking help me...

Death of Rats posted:

So, I'm in the process of getting engaged, organizing a wedding and other such madness. Ring is ordered (which I'm super psyched about), and will be given to the future Mrs. Rats soon enough (gotta wait until Easter Break, as she's a teacher (for now; long story) and she wants "more than a weekend to enjoy being engaged"). After surprisingly few jewellers visits (I was expecting to be trekking around various places for at least a month; it took two weekends), we found a design we liked, and ordered it from https://kinetique.co.uk - a company who do lab grown diamonds at a reasonable price.

Check this pretty motherfucker out:


I'm not a gemologist, but I've done plenty of SEM work and have decent reading comprehension, and that doesn't appear to be a "lab-grown diamond" in the sense you might be thinking of. This says it's a faceted ceramic with a lab-grown diamond coating. As far as I know, lab grown diamonds in any appreciable size still look like crap.

So just in case you thought you were buying a gem-grade artificial diamond, just fyi.

For that price, I'd go with moissanite myself.

BRAKE FOR MOOSE
Jun 6, 2001

Death of Rats posted:

After surprisingly few jewellers visits (I was expecting to be trekking around various places for at least a month; it took two weekends), we found a design we liked, and ordered it from https://kinetique.co.uk - a company who do lab grown diamonds at a reasonable price.

Those aren't diamonds. If you like them, then that's all that matters, but they're not diamonds. They're ceramic.

Death of Rats
Oct 2, 2005

SQUEAK

disheveled posted:

Those aren't diamonds. If you like them, then that's all that matters, but they're not diamonds. They're ceramic.

Yeah, I'm fully aware of that. If they turn up and we don't like them, well, that's what returns policies are for. I realise saying "lab grown" was a bit of a misnomer, but I'm so pleased to have found something we both like so much that I didn't really worry about my wording on that post. However, I am a scientist, so it makes me happy that her engagement ring stones were made by a guy in a lab in Cornwall - avoiding the mined diamond issue altogether is just a nice bonus (the Kimberly process being as hole-ridden as it is).


Also, thanks for help on the date issue, it's comforting.

Death of Rats fucked around with this message at 10:38 on Feb 28, 2014

nyerf
Feb 12, 2010

An elephant never forgets...TO KILL!
How durable are those things? If they're prone to chipping, moissanite is completely lab-made and the next hardest thing to an actual diamond. I'm biased though, I love my moissanite ring for all sorts of reasons and not because it 'looks like a diamond'. Although it does to the casual observer. I don't always correct them, so they think I'm carrying around a fortune on my finger (hah).

AlphaNiner
Aug 10, 2013

I have reached enlightenment, thank you bacon!
When we got married (14 years ago, ouch) we were young and didn't have much money and were able to do it all for about £3000, I guess that's about $5000 give or take. We didn't do any bells, whistles and overly fancy stuff. We had a blessing about 7 years ago and hosed a load of cash, because we could and I guess we just wanted to make up for it. That said it can be done on a lower budget and it doesn't matter how much money is spent, it's totally irrelevant - what really matters is the people involved and mostly the bridge and groom. In all honesty, the first one was more fun, closer and less worrisome.

I've been to expensive weddings and also ones on a lower budget, none of that matters, just throw it out and don't compare to others. Do what makes YOU happy and comfortable, the rest is just trifles.

That said, do you ever feel pressured to spend more than you should? I know we did, and probably shouldn't have

JohnnyRnR
May 16, 2004
Beer Ninja

nyerf posted:

How durable are those things? If they're prone to chipping, moissanite is completely lab-made and the next hardest thing to an actual diamond. I'm biased though, I love my moissanite ring for all sorts of reasons and not because it 'looks like a diamond'. Although it does to the casual observer. I don't always correct them, so they think I'm carrying around a fortune on my finger (hah).

They're pretty fragile, but don't cost a lot so it's a simple matter to replace one every couple years if needed.

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.

AlphaNiner posted:

That said, do you ever feel pressured to spend more than you should? I know we did, and probably shouldn't have

We didn't feel pressured to spend any more than we did, but we had a fairly generous budget to start with. Then again the people who were most likely to pressure us into spending more than we'd planned were already helping to pay for the wedding so they weren't going to volunteer to spend more than they already were. Anyone else quickly shut up about spending more on poo poo if we told them they'd do what they were asking for if they helped pay for it.

We ended up about 20% over budget because we'd neglected to budget for the cake or ceremony musicians, grossly underestimated how drat expensive invitations are (spent almost twice our budget for those), underestimated our food costs, and ended up going with a venue package that was more expensive what we'd initially budgeted for.

Edit: The venue package that pushed us way over budget was worth every penny. We'd initially opted for the package where we only got the site Saturday/Sunday, but we decided to go big or go home and got their super all-inclusive Thursday-Sunday package and it made the whole weekend so much less stressful since we could set everything up Thursday and only worry about actual wedding events Friday and Saturday. We have absolutely zero regrets about that one.

Problem! fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Mar 1, 2014

Sab0921
Aug 2, 2004

This for my justices slingin' thangs, rib breakin' kings / Truck, necklace, robe, gavel and things / For the solicitors seein' them dissents spin and grin / That robe with the lace trim that win.
Our wedding kind of spiraled out of control, we will end up about 20% over budget as well, but it is due to the ballooned guest list. We have had about 95% yes response rate, and often times people would cross out the number we wrote on the RSVP card and just put in whatever, so it would say __ of 2 attending, with the 2 crossed out and a 6 in its place.

We now have about 380 people coming to our wedding in a venue that holds 330, so a bunch of people will be put out on the balcony.

The cost overruns all come with the large guest count, we stayed within budget for Photographer, Videographer, DJ, Planner, Lighting, and Decor. The extra money comes to feed those people, and then extra floral centerpieces for the extra tables. We also downgraded our bar from full open to beer/wine/margarita to save on costs a bit.

Sometimes I wonder what else we could do with the $$ going to the wedding, but in the end it's pretty drat flattering that all of these people want to celebrate with us and are willing to travel to Houston freaking Texas from all across the country to just be a part of our day. I think it will be a pretty badass weekend.

Wedding is two weeks from yesterday, gonna need some luck to pull it off!

samizdat
Dec 3, 2008

Sab0921 posted:

often times people would cross out the number we wrote on the RSVP card and just put in whatever, so it would say __ of 2 attending, with the 2 crossed out and a 6 in its place.

You guys know some really ballsy people. I hope they make money rain.

Sab0921
Aug 2, 2004

This for my justices slingin' thangs, rib breakin' kings / Truck, necklace, robe, gavel and things / For the solicitors seein' them dissents spin and grin / That robe with the lace trim that win.

samizdat posted:

You guys know some really ballsy people. I hope they make money rain.

Eh, it's just an Indian thing. If someone is invited, then everyone is.

I wonder if all my parents friends teenage children that are RSVP'd for will actually show up. I know that when I was that age I hated going my parents friends kids weddings and always tried to get out of going, I only like family weddings.

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.
Your venue is ok with you going 50 people over capacity? Mine would've been having heart failure over fire codes.

We had 0 no shows, which was surprising since we had several RSVPs that were dependent on weather conditions and the weather was pretty bad the week leading up to the wedding.

Sab0921
Aug 2, 2004

This for my justices slingin' thangs, rib breakin' kings / Truck, necklace, robe, gavel and things / For the solicitors seein' them dissents spin and grin / That robe with the lace trim that win.

Aquatic Giraffe posted:

Your venue is ok with you going 50 people over capacity? Mine would've been having heart failure over fire codes.

We had 0 no shows, which was surprising since we had several RSVPs that were dependent on weather conditions and the weather was pretty bad the week leading up to the wedding.

They're ok because there are several options for us. They have a very large wrap around balcony (it's an early 20th century ballroom) which is where we are putting the excess capacity. Alternatively, we rented another room in the same venue that could handle the overflow, so they're not worried.

The capacity of the venue for dancing and people standing is much larger, 330 is just what they can fit for a seated dinner.

As far as fire codes, we are within the fire marshall capacity for the room, also, we have an open flame for our ceremony, so maybe the venue just DGAF.

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couldcareless
Feb 8, 2009

Spheal used Swagger!

Sab0921 posted:

and often times people would cross out the number we wrote on the RSVP card and just put in whatever, so it would say __ of 2 attending, with the 2 crossed out and a 6 in its place.

My fiance would be livid if this happened and would more than likely call them up and bitch them out and subsequently uninvite them. It would be fantastic

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