RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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ookiimarukochan: Apr 4, 2011

Volmarias posted:

Sorry, for some reason I thought that they were using git. But, if I'm thinking of the same company, this sounds about right from what I've heard.

I was working at their headquarters a few minutes away from JR Tamachi station if that confirms your suspicions.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 20:07

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# ? May 17, 2024 15:17

blackswordca: Apr 25, 2010; Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

So a meeting request came in, from my manager:

manager posted:

Our hectic and fast paced environment rarely gives us a chance to pause and reflect. It is for that reason that I�m inviting you to an hour session of an honest and open conversation about yourself, your work and its environment, and how you feel about it.

Its for two weeks from now. Should be fun

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:02

Paladine_PSoT: Jan 2, 2010; If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it

blackswordca posted:

So a meeting request came in, from my manager:

Its for two weeks from now. Should be fun

HE'S READING THIS THREAD!!!

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:06

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA: May 29, 2008

blackswordca posted:

So a meeting request came in, from my manager:

Its for two weeks from now. Should be fun

Bring in a trolley with half a dozen banker's boxes on it for the meeting.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:08

Qtotonibudinibudet: Nov 7, 2011; Omich poluyobok, skazhi ty narkoman? ya prosto tozhe gde to tam zhivu, mogli by vmeste uyobyvat' narkotiki

A "VPN stopped working" ticket came in.

No, the VPN works fine, but you have the most nonsensical network ever.

It's a client to gateway VPN, where both the client and the gateway are actually on the same local subnet, but connecting to the gateway's external address, which is actually NATed to it by some ISP router because LACNIC doesn't have enough addresses or whatever. To get there, the client goes through another device on the same local subnet out an internet connection on a second ISP, with the same upstream NAT situation. The gateway gets and responds to the IKE request, but this never reaches the client machine. It's routed out to the internet through several layers of private networks, then back into a private network, then back to the internet, then back to a private network, and then goes missing. I'm on a horse.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:10

deimos: Nov 30, 2006; Forget it man this bat is whack, it's got poobrain!

scroogle nmaps posted:

LACNIC doesn't have enough addresses or whatever.

They'll take our /22 (that we use maybe 5% of) from our cold dead hands. :ninja:

deimos fucked around with this message at 21:41 on Feb 27, 2014

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:13

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

scroogle nmaps posted:

A "VPN stopped working" ticket came in.

No, the VPN works fine, but you have the most nonsensical network ever.

It's a client to gateway VPN, where both the client and the gateway are actually on the same local subnet, but connecting to the gateway's external address, which is actually NATed to it by some ISP router because LACNIC doesn't have enough addresses or whatever. To get there, the client goes through another device on the same local subnet out an internet connection on a second ISP, with the same upstream NAT situation. The gateway gets and responds to the IKE request, but this never reaches the client machine. It's routed out to the internet through several layers of private networks, then back into a private network, then back to the internet, then back to a private network, and then goes missing. I'm on a horse.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:20

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

blackswordca posted:

Its for two weeks from now. Should be fun

Print out your post history from this thread as reference.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:20

CommanderApaul: Aug 30, 2003; It's amazing their hands can support such awesome.

... for a computer acting up.

It's our eccentric Oracle programmer. The computer is throwing "not enough resource" errors and refusing to open dialog boxes in programs, random program crashes, etc. Asked when the last time he rebooted his computer. "Never."

.....OK.

Went over to his desk. 16445 hours of CPU on the System Idle Process. With three other processes in the mid 4-digits.

At least 685 days.

Of no security updates.

On Windows XP.

For a machine that he has local admin privileges on.

:suicide:

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:24

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

CommanderApaul posted:

... for a computer acting up.

It's our eccentric Oracle programmer. The computer is throwing "not enough resource" errors and refusing to open dialog boxes in programs, random program crashes, etc. Asked when the last time he rebooted his computer. "Never."

.....OK.

Went over to his desk. 16445 hours of CPU on the System Idle Process. With three other processes in the mid 4-digits.

At least 685 days.

Of no security updates.

On Windows XP.

For a machine that he has local admin privileges on.

I got

that says his machine is hosting a production Oracle DB.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:25

Agrikk: Oct 17, 2003; Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

blackswordca posted:

So a meeting request came in, from my manager:

[open and reflective sharing time with manager]

Its for two weeks from now. Should be fun

(I was almost tempted to post an akbar-trap macro, but my better sense prevailed.)

A few words of caution:

Nothing in the workplace is ever off the record.

It is easy in meetings like these to stray from constructive dialogue to full-rant mode.

It doesn't sound to me like you can trust or depend on anyone at that company so be very careful about how you go about your complaining, okay?

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:26

Westie: May 30, 2013; Baboon Simulator

CommanderApaul posted:

... for a computer acting up.

It's our eccentric Oracle programmer. The computer is throwing "not enough resource" errors and refusing to open dialog boxes in programs, random program crashes, etc. Asked when the last time he rebooted his computer. "Never."

.....OK.

Went over to his desk. 16445 hours of CPU on the System Idle Process. With three other processes in the mid 4-digits.

At least 685 days.

Of no security updates.

On Windows XP.

For a machine that he has local admin privileges on.

More than 50 days - how?!

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:26

blackswordca: Apr 25, 2010; Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

Agrikk posted:

(I was almost tempted to post an akbar-trap macro, but my better sense prevailed.)

A few words of caution:

Nothing in the workplace is ever off the record.

It is easy in meetings like these to stray from constructive dialogue to full-rant mode.

It doesn't sound to me like you can trust or depend on anyone at that company so be very careful about how you go about your complaining, okay?

Trust me, I know going off in full rant mode wont do anything helpful for me. I have two weeks to think up suggestions for minor improvements, everything else is sunshine and rainbows.

In the mean time, going to redouble my resume emailing and schedule some follow up meetings with recruiters.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:28

Paladine_PSoT: Jan 2, 2010; If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it

blackswordca posted:

Trust me, I know going off in full rant mode wont do anything helpful for me.

You've tried making sense and being professional. You're still being walked on. Maybe it's time to go alpha dog on them.

I don't normally advocate use of profanity in meetings, but your situation would likely warrant liberal use of phrases like "Sr. Tech Cocksucker" or "shitlord account manager" interspersed with actual supporting documentation (their requests for retarded poo poo) and industry whitepapers that show where they're hilariously inept for requesting the things they request and you're correct for saying no, then in trouble for being right.

You might also want to make reference to the removal of your laughably sized carrot on a stick while discussing plummeting morale.

Paladine_PSoT fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Feb 27, 2014

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:35

GoatShaver: Nov 12, 2010

scroogle nmaps posted:

A "VPN stopped working" ticket came in.

No, the VPN works fine, but you have the most nonsensical network ever.

It's a client to gateway VPN, where both the client and the gateway are actually on the same local subnet, but connecting to the gateway's external address, which is actually NATed to it by some ISP router because LACNIC doesn't have enough addresses or whatever. To get there, the client goes through another device on the same local subnet out an internet connection on a second ISP, with the same upstream NAT situation. The gateway gets and responds to the IKE request, but this never reaches the client machine. It's routed out to the internet through several layers of private networks, then back into a private network, then back to the internet, then back to a private network, and then goes missing. I'm on a horse.

What the poo poo is that about? Who would do this?

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:47

Roargasm: Oct 21, 2010; Hate to sound sleazy
But tease me
I don't want it if it's that easy

scroogle nmaps posted:

where both the client and the gateway are actually on the same local subnet, but connecting to the gateway's external address, which is actually NATed to it by some ISP router because LACNIC doesn't have enough addresses or whatever.

This might sound dumb but why do you actually need a VPN to get out? To secure resources on that broadcast domain?

edit: unless you mean the client is on the same subnet as the external interface in which case double psypop

Roargasm fucked around with this message at 21:51 on Feb 27, 2014

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:48

CommanderApaul: Aug 30, 2003; It's amazing their hands can support such awesome.

nexxai posted:

I got that says his machine is hosting a production Oracle DB.

Nope, he was worried this his local admin rights would go away on bootup AND he didn't want to have to re-setup all the screens he has open.

And he went in and intentionally disabled the bigfix service so he didn't get updates. :fuckoff:

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:50

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

CommanderApaul posted:

Nope, he was worried this his local admin rights would go away on bootup AND he didn't want to have to re-setup all the screens he has open.

And he went in and intentionally disabled the bigfix service so he didn't get updates.

Sounds like the only course of action here is flatten and reinstall. :getin:

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:52

GreenNight: Feb 19, 2006; Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

I like how all my new HP docks are DisplayPort only so I got to buy some god drat DP to DVI adapters :argh:

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:52

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

scroogle nmaps posted:

A "VPN stopped working" ticket came in.

No, the VPN works fine, but you have the most nonsensical network ever.

It's a client to gateway VPN, where both the client and the gateway are actually on the same local subnet, but connecting to the gateway's external address, which is actually NATed to it by some ISP router because LACNIC doesn't have enough addresses or whatever. To get there, the client goes through another device on the same local subnet out an internet connection on a second ISP, with the same upstream NAT situation. The gateway gets and responds to the IKE request, but this never reaches the client machine. It's routed out to the internet through several layers of private networks, then back into a private network, then back to the internet, then back to a private network, and then goes missing. I'm on a horse.

If ever I need cheering up, I can always count on this thread

CommanderApaul posted:

... for a computer acting up.

It's our eccentric Oracle programmer. The computer is throwing "not enough resource" errors and refusing to open dialog boxes in programs, random program crashes, etc. Asked when the last time he rebooted his computer. "Never."

.....OK.

Went over to his desk. 16445 hours of CPU on the System Idle Process. With three other processes in the mid 4-digits.

At least 685 days.

Of no security updates.

On Windows XP.

For a machine that he has local admin privileges on.

Man, I thought it was amazing when I had my old XP machine reach 6 months of uptime (back 7 years ago).

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:56

Qtotonibudinibudet: Nov 7, 2011; Omich poluyobok, skazhi ty narkoman? ya prosto tozhe gde to tam zhivu, mogli by vmeste uyobyvat' narkotiki

Roargasm posted:

This might sound dumb but why do you actually need a VPN to get out? To secure resources on that broadcast domain?

edit: unless you mean the client is on the same subnet as the external interface in which case double psypop

No, they're on the same subnet as the internal interface. My best guess is they're testing it for remote users that wouldn't have an internal connection. Doesn't really excuse the clusterfuck on the external side, but I guess it does make a good case for speeding up IPv6 deployment!

# ? Feb 27, 2014 21:59

ConfusedUs: Feb 24, 2004; Bees?
You want fucking bees?
Here you go!
ROLL INITIATIVE!!

Good luck, blackswordca.

If I were you, I'd build up a binder of proof of the various problems you have. Anything you can't prove shouldn't be brought up. Anything you can prove, well, dump it in their laps.

Nothing will happen if you just complain. With proof, given your history, I give you a 50/50 chance of getting fired or getting promoted.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 22:15

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

GreenNight posted:

I like how all my new HP docks are DisplayPort only so I got to buy some god drat DP to DVI adapters

Just get screens with displayport. The sooner DVI dies out the better.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 22:18

GreenNight: Feb 19, 2006; Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Collateral Damage posted:

Just get screens with displayport. The sooner DVI dies out the better.

Yeah just buy $200+ screens instead of $5 Monoprice adapters. 75% of the people here are still on VGA.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 22:18

Veskit: Mar 2, 2005; I love capitalism!! DM me for the best investing advice!

I finally got through this thread, but after around page 100 it was just me being curious about the new job Blackswordca would end up getting, and then it never happened. God I'm sorry.

:sigh:

# ? Feb 27, 2014 22:24

CommanderApaul: Aug 30, 2003; It's amazing their hands can support such awesome.

Trastion posted:

Sounds like the only course of action here is flatten and reinstall.

The whole reason I'm looking at his computer so we can back up all his crap. he's getting Windows 7 on Friday next week whether he likes it or not

CommanderApaul fucked around with this message at 22:32 on Feb 27, 2014

# ? Feb 27, 2014 22:29

Variable 5: Apr 17, 2007; We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy.; Grimey Drawer

blackswordca posted:

So a meeting request came in, from my manager:

Its for two weeks from now. Should be fun

This is in preparation for your termination. Calling it now.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 22:37

Demonachizer: Aug 7, 2004

blackswordca posted:

So a meeting request came in, from my manager:

Its for two weeks from now. Should be fun

I like how it is a conversation about yourself and your job seems almost accusatory.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 22:41

Lord Dudeguy: Sep 17, 2006; [Insert good English here]

blackswordca posted:

So a meeting request came in, from my manager

It's an exit interview. Treat it as such and don't burn bridges.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 22:46

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

CommanderApaul posted:

AND he didn't want to have to re-setup all the screens he has open.

Please just throw his rear end out of a window or off of the roof. gently caress these people. "MY WORKFLOW!" is bullshit, you're just a lazy/egomaniacal rear end.

We have one VIP who requires that if we have to log him off/restart the computer we need to save every single open window and re-open it. 90% of the windows are e-mails, and 90% of his desktop icons at this point is just folders with "Open Windows {DATE}" so it's obviously not some kind of efficiency thing.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 22:50

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Lord Dudeguy posted:

It's an exit interview. Treat it as such and don't burn bridges.

Yeah he basically gave you your two weeks notice without actually telling you that was what it is.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 22:51

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Lord Dudeguy posted:

don't burn bridges

Have you read ANY of his posts? He should set fire to the bridge, the troll, and the river below it. Preferably with napalm.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 22:51

QuiteEasilyDone: Jul 2, 2010; Won't you play with me?

A email server migration came in... and the techs handling it forgot to update the MXrecords... whoops.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 22:55

CommanderApaul: Aug 30, 2003; It's amazing their hands can support such awesome.

Inspector_666 posted:

Please just throw his rear end out of a window or off of the roof. gently caress these people. "MY WORKFLOW!" is bullshit, you're just a lazy/egomaniacal rear end.

We have one VIP who requires that if we have to log him off/restart the computer we need to save every single open window and re-open it. 90% of the windows are e-mails, and 90% of his desktop icons at this point is just folders with "Open Windows {DATE}" so it's obviously not some kind of efficiency thing.

On top of that, he has it setup like Win98. I completely forgot that XP's task bar could have pages. The first time I got the resource error, there were three items listed, and I was puzzled. Then I saw the tiny rear end arrows and pages the through two task area of poo poo. And he had collapse similar windows on. The Outlook process had over 20 open windows. Email drafts over a year old.

I'm beginning to think that taking the transfer to the satellite office is going to be more trouble than it worth.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 23:00

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

blackswordca posted:

So a meeting request came in, from my manager:

Its for two weeks from now. Should be fun

Yea dude, as others said, probable exit interview incoming. And as someone else said, gather up all the stuff you can actually prove and read it off 1 item at a time for as long as they will listen.

You could also ask "is this an exit interview?" I generally ask questions like that up-front, but my environment might be different. They can also always lie.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 23:02

Roargasm: Oct 21, 2010; Hate to sound sleazy
But tease me
I don't want it if it's that easy

blackswordca posted:

"your work and its environment"

Even your workflow exists in some personal vortex :ghost:

# ? Feb 27, 2014 23:04

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

CommanderApaul posted:

On top of that, he has it setup like Win98. I completely forgot that XP's task bar could have pages. The first time I got the resource error, there were three items listed, and I was puzzled. Then I saw the tiny rear end arrows and pages the through two task area of poo poo. And he had collapse similar windows on. The Outlook process had over 20 open windows. Email drafts over a year old.

This is like the people who complain that their browser is slow and takes a lot of memory and you see that they have a hundred tabs open. Just close tabs when you're done with them. "But I might need it later." So bookmark it, that's what bookmarks are there for. :argh:

# ? Feb 27, 2014 23:09

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

scroogle nmaps posted:

No, they're on the same subnet as the internal interface. My best guess is they're testing it for remote users that wouldn't have an internal connection. Doesn't really excuse the clusterfuck on the external side, but I guess it does make a good case for speeding up IPv6 deployment!

Holy poo poo if you need to test the experience that your mobile workers are receiving then just get an ADSL line installed.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 23:19

lord funk: Feb 16, 2004

Got an email from a user asking me to paginate the user manual for my app. She said the page numbers were missing and content was split between pages.

Checked the document... seemed okay. After a little prodding, she said this happened when she printed the document. I asked if she selected 'Scale to Fit' when she printed, she said she would try it. Lo and behold. Problem fixed.

Can't print? Email the developer!

# ? Feb 27, 2014 23:27

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# ? May 17, 2024 15:17

WHERE MY HAT IS AT: Jan 7, 2011

CommanderApaul posted:

Email drafts over a year old.

Holy poo poo :lol:

# ? Feb 28, 2014 00:01

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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