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Sexgun Rasputin posted:impossible. you're going to have to invest a lot of time and energy into training him to be less weird. his next girlfriend sure will appreciate all the hard work you did. "You're weirdo, so expect to forever be a weirdo because nobody should help you."
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Mar 1, 2014 10:52
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quote:but not dating someone just because they're a virgin seems lovely to me. You are not rejecting him because he is a virgin, you are rejecting him because he is awkward as gently caress about sex. These are not the same.
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Mar 1, 2014 11:29
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Gatts posted:As someone who has had sex in marriage, and then outside, I assure you, start loving if you can help it and don't wait. Would this be the arranged marriage that your parents set up on your command, and then never actually happened?
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Mar 1, 2014 12:13
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The Real Foogla posted:this is super harsh it's not "help" it's babysitting a special needs boyfriend
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Mar 1, 2014 12:28
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Sexgun Rasputin posted:it's not "help" it's babysitting a special needs boyfriend it is p much impossible to judge without knowing more. getting super anxious/nervous about something is not special needs. I'm imagining it's like being fumbling and 17 but even more so because you're super embarrassed about a lack of experience at that age. Only Anything Box can tell whether it's worth it to coax this guy outta his shell. either way sex is gonna be bad for a while, no matter what. if the dude is still awkward and weird after the first time then it's time to disappear though.
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Mar 1, 2014 12:46
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I've just always thought the grandfather's advice in Little Miss Sunshine rings a bit true.* http://klipd.com/watch/little-miss-sunshine/grandpa-advice-scene *I'm not talking about the heroin part. Zack_Gochuck fucked around with this message at 14:29 on Mar 1, 2014 |
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Mar 1, 2014 14:26
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Tequila Sunrise posted:Would this be the arranged marriage that your parents set up on your command, and then never actually happened? No. This would be the marriage where a matchmaker introduced my family to her family and where we talked over a couple of months for about 6 and then she and I decided to get married. I married her and we lived together for a year and a half and then I ended it because it wasn't working out. The one where I made a point to her family that it was her choice and one I thought yeah let's explore the traditional route and see what happens. I also find it a bit funny that the poster knew what he intended to ask and seemingly wanted it too but the phrase screw around put you off. How? Gatts fucked around with this message at 14:30 on Mar 1, 2014 |
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Mar 1, 2014 14:27
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Anything Box posted:My question is this: how do I make him feel comfortable and confident enough that sex isn't just incredibly terrible? Being honest about it and more or less asking for a bit of patience the first (few) times is what he should have done, now he's making it your problem more then his own. Zedd fucked around with this message at 21:10 on Mar 1, 2014 |
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Mar 1, 2014 14:56
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This thread was a silly honeypot but it pretty much inspired me to want to finally lose the last of my virginity (so to speak) in the sense of having penetrative intercourse with another man receptively (I'm a man) something I've been wanting to do for some time but have been squeamish about. Me and my boyfriend-ish person are tentatively going to do this on Monday, so it's actually pretty exciting. And might change things as he really views this as a true consummation of sorts and has done it before, unlike me. But really, I don't want to have any compunctions about *not* being a virgin, none whatsoever. My god, but I don't. I like that setting this up was as easy as me saying "Hey, we should really have anal sex soon," and him replying "Oh really? Hell yeah, when?" One of those things where it's bound to be easier to jump hurdles like these with guys rather than girls.
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Mar 1, 2014 15:22
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Sexgun Rasputin posted:it's not "help" it's babysitting a special needs boyfriend do you still count as a virgin if you had sex with an autism man?
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Mar 1, 2014 18:21
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I just had a friend break up with a virgin she was trying to babysit. She was naked in his bed multiple times and... Nothing. All he ever did was pecks on the lips and hold her hand. For 3 months. There's only so much a girl can do. He's now acting like she ripped his heart out and shat on it in front of him and making things really awkward with other people. So yeah... Don't date virgins and expect them to act like other people you've dated and if you are that virgin try to act your age when things go south.
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Mar 1, 2014 19:02
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Shannonmcn posted:I just had a friend break up with a virgin she was trying to babysit. She was naked in his bed multiple times and... Nothing. All he ever did was pecks on the lips and hold her hand. For 3 months. There's only so much a girl can do. What should he have done? Not being snarky - I don't think I would know what to do in this situation.
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Mar 1, 2014 19:31
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Maybe she's really fat.
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Mar 1, 2014 19:34
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EN Bullshit posted:What should he have done? Not being snarky - I don't think I would know what to do in this situation. Either told her straight out that he wasn't ready for sex and let her go find someone who was or made an effort to come out of his comfort zone and make a move with a girl who was naked in his bed. She's a much more sexual person than I am and if I put myself naked in my boyfriends bed and he just went to sleep I'd feel pretty rejected. Really its more his reaction after she ended it that's the problem, he's being a huge baby.
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Mar 1, 2014 19:36
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Bape Culture posted:Maybe she's really fat. She's loving beautiful and was doing him the biggest favour of his goony virgin life. Not even kidding, he will never have another chance like that. They bonded over geotechnical engineering, do you know how few women even know what that is? Edit: also he is kinda fat and wears mom jeans.
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Mar 1, 2014 19:38
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Shannonmcn posted:She's loving beautiful and was doing him the biggest favour of his goony virgin life. Not even kidding, he will never have another chance like that. Send her my way 
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Mar 1, 2014 19:42
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Bape Culture posted:Send her my way She's already found another dude to tie her up and gently caress her brains out, which I get to hear too much about. This is part of the reason virgin-dude is so sad sad 
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Mar 1, 2014 19:44
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EN Bullshit posted:What should he have done? Not being snarky - I don't think I would know what to do in this situation. sex her dummy
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Mar 1, 2014 19:46
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EN Bullshit posted:What should he have done? Not being snarky - I don't think I would know what to do in this situation. lol look at this dumb virgin.
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Mar 1, 2014 20:21
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Demon Of The Fall posted:lol look at this dumb virgin.
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Mar 1, 2014 20:28
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Spiffo posted:sex her dummy To be fair, depending on how it went down and the guys mentality not going after her there could have been a valid response. I'm single focused as all hell, and if I walked out of the bathroom and there was a naked lady in my bed the I'd strip a gear and any attempt at mood would be killed by super complicated thoughts like "you're naked." Likewise, she coulda' wound up naked in bed by any number of more gradual means and things would have been just fine. Either way, the fact that she put herself there and nothing happened is beyond an obvious sign that their interests didn't align. That said, there is no justifying the depiction of the guys actions. That level of reaction would be overdoing it for someone dying, he needs to grow up and move on rather than making everyone(including himself) miserable.
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Mar 1, 2014 20:40
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EN Bullshit posted:What should he have done? Not being snarky - I don't think I would know what to do in this situation. start by kissing a boob you dingus
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Mar 1, 2014 21:13
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Shannonmcn posted:I just had a friend break up with a virgin she was trying to babysit. She was naked in his bed multiple times and... Nothing. All he ever did was pecks on the lips and hold her hand. For 3 months. There's only so much a girl can do.
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Mar 1, 2014 21:17
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FoolyCharged posted:To be fair, depending on how it went down and the guys mentality not going after her there could have been a valid response. I'm single focused as all hell, and if I walked out of the bathroom and there was a naked lady in my bed the I'd strip a gear and any attempt at mood would be killed by super complicated thoughts like "you're naked." Likewise, she coulda' wound up naked in bed by any number of more gradual means and things would have been just fine. Either way, the fact that she put herself there and nothing happened is beyond an obvious sign that their interests didn't align. fuckin wow. "beep boop whrrrr click naked woman in my bed, INTERESTS DO NOT ALIGN. commence Middle School Behavioral Sequence"
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Mar 1, 2014 21:25
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Sardonik posted:That seems a step past "Virgin" and into "Basket Case" territory. Since reading this thread, I've come to the conclusion that after a while "virgin" starts to bleed into "basket case." It really doesn't have to be that way. Also I'm thinking some of you might be gay irl because if you're sleeping with a naked girl for three months and have only held her hands you are clearly not attracted to women. It sounds like you'll have a lot of luck if you want to receive anal sex so I'd highly advise going that route.
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Mar 1, 2014 21:26
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amarantinesky posted:Since reading this thread, I've come to the conclusion that after a while "virgin" starts to bleed into "basket case." It really doesn't have to be that way. Did you see my posts in ladythread about my friends cricket player breakup? Same dude.
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Mar 1, 2014 21:31
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Shannonmcn posted:Did you see my posts in ladythread about my friends cricket player breakup? Same dude. I just looked for it and WOW Shannonmcn posted:I dunno who remembers me talking about a friend who was going out with a dude who wouldn't bone her and played cricket (ladythread said: gay as gently caress). Anyway, she felt they were just like friends who held hands and they obviously broke up and he's being a complete tool; not pulling his weight in the lab they both work in, making poo poo really awkward, won't talk to her etc. He was off for 2 days this week then yesterday he emailed a few people talking about how he was depressed and having panic attacks and asked for understanding, he was willing to answer any questions anyone might have about his depression. Fair enough, pretty sure half the people in the office have reasons to be depressed and panicky. I don't feel the need to tell everyone but whatever helps him. (He sent this email to everyone except me for God knows what reason, depression is a big part of my family history and I make no secret of it. Anyway.) But in talking to my friend he pretty much blamed all his depression on her breaking up with him which is completely unfair. "I'm so hurt, I keep thinking about you, nothing makes any sense, my dark times etc etc." Today she asked for a board game back that she'd left at his house and he literally threw a bag at her when she was standing talking to me then left to go home. She looked in the bag and there was her game with a big box of unopened condoms and nothing else. Then she gets a message being like, "I just chucked your stuff in a bag, dunno if there's anything except the game in there, might be, dunno." So obv he put them there as a dig because she has a new guy and he's a loving goony child. She calls him out on it and he blames a panic attack for finding condoms that weren't hers and she had never seen and he would have to have gone and bought and putting them in with a game to give to her. Like, what even the gently caress? She's super upset, I'm upset, he's safe from any criticism because depression and she has to do the work of two people in her lab now as well as being treated like she ripped out his heart and shat on it on purpose. I feel all the sympathy in the world for the guy if he's depressed and under pressure but you don't get a free pass to be a cock to someone who has only ever tried to help you. UGH.
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Mar 1, 2014 22:05
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Shannonmcn posted:Did you see my posts in ladythread about my friends cricket player breakup? Same dude. You seem to be following your friends private life obsessively closely and you're probably the reason no guys will bone her.
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Mar 1, 2014 22:25
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Tortuga posted:You seem to be following your friends private life obsessively closely and you're probably the reason no guys will bone her. Have you never actually had friends before, because it's pretty drat common to know about stuff like that if you spend any time at all talking with someone you've known for a while.  This honeypot thread really is pulling goony fucks out of the woodwork.
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Mar 1, 2014 22:29
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After the first time I had sex I leaped out of bed and started writing new and complex math formulas on the wall like in A Beautiful Mind. Hard to believe that having sex changes things so drastically for you. Then I got a job at NASA with the rest of the ladykillers, because obviously more sex = better person.
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Mar 1, 2014 22:36
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Tortuga posted:You seem to be following your friends private life obsessively closely and you're probably the reason no guys will bone her. right!! what a freaky obsessive creep to know things going on in the life of a friend wtf
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Mar 1, 2014 22:37
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I too share no information about my life with my close friends. drat that guy sounds nuts. And good luck on your date, Pinball. I get really nervous beforehand too, but once you talk for a few minutes it should get easier. It's normal and not a dealbreaker to be a bit nervous. There is nothing you are expected or obligated to do other than get to know this person. I hope you have a good time!
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Mar 1, 2014 22:38
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Tortuga posted:You seem to be following your friends private life obsessively closely and you're probably the reason no guys will bone her. gently caress this girl talks to her friend about a breakup with a person they both know. What a weirdo, better not go near her! And she has more dudes throwing themselves at her than she knows what to do with. Which is why this thing with Cricket Virgin is so ridiculous.
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Mar 1, 2014 22:38
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Cricket is cool.
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Mar 1, 2014 22:39
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Tortuga posted:You seem to be following your friends private life obsessively closely and you're probably the reason no guys will bone her.  yeah this is a pretty bizarre comment.EN Bullshit posted:What should he have done? Not being snarky - I don't think I would know what to do in this situation. This can't be a real question. I thought goon virgins watched porn like 5 hours a day? I'm incredibly amused by the idea of holding hands in bed though. Even if you're afraid of sex you should give her a back rub so she gets something out of the experience and you get to touch an actual human being.
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Mar 1, 2014 22:49
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amarantinesky posted:Since reading this thread, I've come to the conclusion that after a while "virgin" starts to bleed into "basket case." It really does. Isolation just does horrible things to people, mentally and physically. People are social animals, period. There's pretty solid research on what happens, from prisoners in long-term solitary to old Harry Harlow and his rhesus monkeys. I'm talking about the Pit of Despair experiments; if anybody's curious enough to look it up, check out what happened to experimental subjects that were reintroduced to the general population.
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Mar 1, 2014 22:56
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Even if you're not ready for sex yet, naked cuddling is still a nice and pleasant thing.
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Mar 1, 2014 22:58
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Ok so I figured I would register to tell my story of being an adult virgin. It is quite long and I am not much of a writer but here it goes. I am a 28 year old currently and lost my virginity about 6 months ago when I was 27. The reasons for my virginity lasting as long as it did are somewhat numerous. I grew up in a very small town of about 1000 people and once I graduated went to a local college that didn't require me to move out of my mother's house. Looking back it was such an obvious but large mistake. I also went from being a lanky guy to an overweight one in a flash. I've been told I am somewhat attractive but I had always had zero self confidence and it showed in my demeanor, shyness and the way I took care of myself thereby negating me being 6'3 and having a decent face. Despite all of this I still had opportunities but simply put I was afraid. I remember a girl I talked to in one my college classes once called me when she was quite drunk asking me what I was up to clearly hinting she wanted to get together. I told her I was busy and promptly went to sleep. I was so scared of anything social related. My social life consisted of one friend and a whole lot of reading, video games and obsession with sports. Basically it was non-existent. I was molested as a child and it made me afraid of people. I would jump if someone touched me and I couldn't look anyone in the eye for any length of time. Of course I should have seen a therapist but I didn't. I told no one about it and I just was alone. I started getting better towards my senior year in college but by that time I felt so behind that I didn't want to subject my inexperience on anyone but at the same time getting over my past made me realize just how alone I really felt. It was quite the tug of war of emotions and one I was not equipped to handle. I made a really close friend during college (bringing my total to 2) and it just so happens that the friend was a she. The reason I actually started to talk to her was during one of my few moments of bravery I decided I needed to learn social skills. She was in my organic chemistry class and I saw her in the library. I wasn't really attracted to her but I thought that was a good thing and would help me not be nervous going up to her. I sat down and for some reason came off really well and I remember I actually flirted with her. We hit it off and began a really great friendship. She was in a long term relationship though and I never really thought of her as something more to begin with. Towards my senior year of college we had been friends for about 2 years and by that time I had started to want her. Coincidentally around that time she broke up with her boyfriend. I being not very smart and so very alone did not give her time to get over it and promptly told her about my feelings for her. I did this in the worst way possible I sprang it on her out of nowhere in a parking lot as we were walking out of a Starbucks/Barnes & Noble. I don't remember much of what I said but I know it involved the phrase "What are we anyway?" After that we no longer talked. We were in some of the same classes still and we just awkwardly pretended the other didn't exist. I felt terrible after that and I did what I always do. I went away. For about 3 years. I graduated shortly after that and got a job in a research lab for those 3 years. In that time I went to work, i came home and I did nothing. Looking back I am not sure how I survived it. I can't even remember most of it. I think if I had a different opinion of suicide or death I probably wouldn't have survived. Eventually though I realized I had to change something or I wouldn't be able to live any more. I hated my job, so I started with that. I applied to pharmacy school, I had worked my way through college as a technician so I figured I had a shot of getting in. My grades weren't that great but I did well on the PCAT and most schools liked my research experience. My first interview was with my top choice and I bombed it so badly. I got there and I just froze. On the drive home something happened mentally where I decided I wasn't going to be scared anymore. Something just snapped into place. I had three more interviews and I got into all of the other schools. The school was about 400 miles away, so I made the decision to just try and start a new life. The first week there I met this girl in my class and just kind of faked it. When we were alone, I knew enough that I should kiss her and I did. Poorly. She asked me point blank after if I was a virgin. I lied and said no. That was a huge mistake and one I would pay for a couple of months down the line. We were both lonely and in a new strange place. So we ended up spending a ton of time together. Eventually it came time where we were going to have sex and it wasn't pretty. The first attempt involved her breaking down and crying because she hadn't fully gotten over her last boyfriend. The second try I made sure to do a lot of foreplay or at least attempt to because A)I had trouble getting hard and B)I was going to last about 2 strokes. I came in my pants shortly after starting, but got hard again and actually gave her an orgasm. Well I mean she gave herself one, she was on top and did all of the work. We only had sex about 3-4 more times after that. I was getting better but I ended up telling her about my lies because I felt guilty about it and really liked her as a person. She moved on to someone else a couple of months ago and I am left trying to figure out what to do next. I've been in pharmacy school for about 8 months. In that time I have lost my virginity and lost 40 lbs (225->185). I started working out with weights regularly for the past two months and have put on about 15 lbs of muscle. I got my own place and I feel a lot better about myself in general. I always thought it was bullshit about working out and actually gaining confidence but it really isn't. As far as my future is concerned, I am not sure. I am still quite inexperienced and never been in a proper relationship. I have a feeling I am about 10 years behind of where I should be in that regard. I am also pretty bad at sex which scares me a bit. I need experience with it but that isn't that easy to come by. The college is in a really small town and I don't want to pursue any of my classmates because I have to spend the next 2 and half years with these same people. I will just have to see I suppose. I don't know if anyone can learn anything by my story but if you have any questions feel free to ask.
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Mar 1, 2014 23:34
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Mason Verger posted:Whatever you do, do not use sex workers as a substitute for intimacy. You will become addicted to these women like an addict to crack. And like that addict you will feel like crap when the high is over. You will grow to resent women and someone will get hurt badly.Maybe even killed.You can not buy love or real intimacy. if you want intimacy play a dating sim or do some rping. sex workers are just for pussy
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Mar 1, 2014 23:36
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speaking of which why haven't you all gotten laid yet when it only costs like $180 tops? that's less than a wii u
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Mar 1, 2014 23:37
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