Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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staticman: Sep 12, 2008; Be gay
Death to America
Suck my dick Israel
Mess with Texas
and remember to lmao

quote:

For those not familiar with Joe Arpio, he is the County Sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona. He keeps getting re-elected over and over again.

These are some of the reasons why:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the "tent city jail" to save Arizona from spending tens of millions of dollars on another expensive prison complex.Inmates sleep in tents!

He has jail meals down to 20 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

He banned smoking and pornographic magazines in the jails, and took away their weightlifting equipment and cut off all but "G" movies. He says: "They're in jail to pay a debt to society not to build muscles so they can assault innocent people when they leave."

He started chain gangs to use the inmates to do free work on county and city projects and save taxpayer's money. Men work in Pink "Clean and Sober" Shirts. Their underwear is also Pink!

Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.

He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again but only allows the Disney channel and the weather channel.

When asked why the weather channel, he replied: "So these morons will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs."

He cut off coffee because it has zero nutritional value and is therefore a waste of taxpayer money. When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back."

He also bought the Newt Gingrich lecture series on US history that he pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series that actually tells the truth for a change would be welcome and that it might even explain why 95% of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.

With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record for June 2nd 2009), the Associated Press reported: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed wire surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.

On the Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing pink boxer shorts were overheard chatting in the tents, where temperatures reached 128 degrees."This is hell. It feels like we live in a furnace," said Ernesto Gonzales, an inmate for 2 years with 10 more to go. "It's inhumane."

Joe Arpaio, who makes his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. "Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for parole, only to go out and commit more crimes so they can come back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things many taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves."

The same day he told all the inmates who were complaining of the heat in the tents: "It's between 120 to 130 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents there too, and they have to walk all day in that sun, wearing full battle gear and getting shot at, and THEY have not committed any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"

Sheriff Joe was just re-elected for the fourteenth time as Sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona.

Get Paid to chat about it!
http://chatabout.com/get_rewarded

What the gently caress are they putting in the water in Arkansas? That's it, I'm done. I'm done being nice. I'm touching the poop.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 02:18

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 15:07

peak debt: Mar 11, 2001; b& :(; Nap Ghost

Time to read Zinn posted:

Help me understand, Something Awful Forums.

Oh dear god, don't try to. Gazing into that abyss in an attempt to comprehend it will end in certain madness.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 02:20

VitalSigns: Sep 3, 2011

Time to read Zinn posted:

Help me understand, Something Awful Forums.

LL101's definition of an intolerant society is "one that no longer wholeheartedly approves when I call people niggers and faggots".

# ? Mar 2, 2014 02:31

Fulchrum: Apr 16, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Time to read Zinn posted:

Help me understand, Something Awful Forums.

"First the Libs say I shouldn't be hateful. Now they say I shouldn't be intolerant? Make up your mine, Libruls, which is it :smug:

?

No, I don't own a dictionary, why do you ask?"

# ? Mar 2, 2014 02:32

OAquinas: Jan 27, 2008; Biden has sat immobile on the Iron Throne of America. He is the Master of Malarkey by the will of the gods, and master of a million votes by the might of his inexhaustible calamari.

Time to read Zinn posted:

Help me understand, Something Awful Forums.

What's to understand? Its a poo poo online poll by a demagogue hack that only has 64 responses. There couldn't be a worse poll without introducing markov chain chat bots.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 02:44

LeJackal: Apr 5, 2011

staticman posted:

What the gently caress are they putting in the water in Arkansas? That's it, I'm done. I'm done being nice. I'm touching the poop.

This page will serve you well. An entire page of his controversial policies.

Some highlights:

Wikipedia posted:

Under Arpaio, the Maricopa County Jails have lost accreditation multiple times. In September, 2008, the National Commission on Correctional Health Care terminated the accreditation of all Maricopa County Sheriff's Office jails for failure to maintain compliance with national standards, and providing false information about such compliance In October, 2008, a U.S. district court judge ruled that the grossly inadequate conditions at the Maricopa County Jail, overseen by Arpaio, are unconstitutional and jeopardize the health and safety of prisoners.

From 2004 through November 2007, Arpaio was the target of 2,150 lawsuits in U.S. District Court and hundreds more in Maricopa County courts, with more than $50 million in claims being filed, 50 times as many prison-conditions lawsuits as the New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Houston jail systems combined. Allegations of cruel treatment of inmates as well as living conditions have been cited by Amnesty International in a report issued on the treatment of inmates in Maricopa County facilities.

Family members of inmates who have died or been injured in jail custody have filed lawsuits against the sheriff�s office. Maricopa County has paid more than $43 million in settlement claims during Arpaio's tenure.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 02:59

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

staticman posted:

What the gently caress are they putting in the water in Arkansas? That's it, I'm done. I'm done being nice. I'm touching the poop.

There's also this post compiled by a goon a few years ago. Be aware that some of the links are broken now, so if you plan to use it you may want to find new sources for some of the things.

quote:

HidingFromGoro posted:
Let me tell you about Joe Arpaio.

If you're lucky enough not to live in AZ like I do, you might not know about Joe Arpaio. He's the Maricopa County Sheriff signed a promise(1) to serve only one term when he was elected in 1992. He's still the Sheriff. When it comes to drug warriors, this guy doesn't mess around. He's got a self-propelled howitzer with "Sheriff Arpaio's War on Drugs" painted on it, with some tasteful lightning bolts added for effect.

He'll kill your dog and burn your house down(2) if you get in his way (while simultaneously crushing your neighbor's car with an armored personnel carrier).

He's got that tent jail in the desert, where you have to wear old-timey striped uniforms with pink underwear, eat substandard food, and work on chain gangs but at least he provides rebar for you(3) (pdf) to make it easier for to beat other inmates to half to death. If you don't want to read the pdf, the gist of it he got fined over $600,000 because the rebar had been used as weapons before, and he still chose not to secure them from the inmates. The judge said "...among other things, the Sheriff and his deputies had actual knowledge that prisoners used rebar tent stakes and tent poles as weapons and did nothing to prevent it." Furthermore, "the Sheriff admitted knowing about, and in fact intentionally designing, some conditions at Tent City that created a substantial risk of inmate violence."

Your tent-mates are the least of your worries, however. Joe will beat you death even if you're blind(4) (and destroy evidence in a cover-up attempt), although to be fair to Joe he really only beat that guy partway to death- he only died after being left unattended in a cell for 6 days from the perforated intestine and broken neck he got from the beating- last time he gets picked up for shoplifting.

Don't count on a wheelchair earning you any sympathy from America's Toughest Sheriff, either. If you go to jail as a paraplegic on a 1-gram marijuana possession charge and ask for a catheter to piss in, you might just leave as a quadriplegic(5) after you get a 6-hour ride in a restraint chair followed by a guard breaking your neck.

Hey, at least the chair ride didn't kill him like it killed Scott Norberg(6), right? Well, it might not have been the chair- it could have been the stun guns or the towel shoved in his mouth. Joe Arpaio personally conducted an investigation of that incident and "surprisingly" found no evidence of wrongdoing on the part of the officers involved. The lawsuit found differently to the tune of $8 million, possibly because he got caught destroying evidence again. A man of principle, Joe publicly addressed Norberg's family and stated that he essentially got what he deserved because he was a drug addict and besides only bad people are in jail anyway.

Mentally-handicapped(7)? Too bad, you might get killed in the chair too- on a loitering charge.

Hope you don't have diabetes(8), cause you ain't getting insulin even if you go and die on him, like Deborah did.

Yeah, Joe sure does love him some wrongful-death lawsuits(9), combined with all of his other suits, he's a defendant in almost fifteen hundred cases- if they all come to settlement, Maricopa taxpayers could pay up to $50 million.

Criticizing him in the newspapers or on the Web might get you locked up(10).

Smokin Joe and his deputies work hard outside of jail too, what with all the racial profiling and immigration crackdowns(11); so you know they play hard(12) too- nothing takes the edge off like getting a happy ending from a hooker while on the clock. Oh, it was a "sting," and sure, 60 of the 70 cases got thrown out due to that gross misconduct, but hey, got to break some eggs you know.

My next Arpaio fun fact really stretches the imagination. He staged his own assassination attempt(13), involving blowing up his personal $70,000 armored vehicle with a pipe bomb. He created an elaborate sting culminating in a televised arrest of the "assassin," who was quickly released when courts saw that he had been entrapped and most of the plot was in fact fabricated by Arpaio.

But what would Joe be without a sidekick? Meet Andy Thomas(14), Joe's District Attorney who took a break from editing his own Wikipedia entry(15) to prosecute a 16-year old boy (seeking a *ninety year* sentence- without parole) for showing a Playboy to some of his classmates. Oh, he was arrested in an early morning tactical raid and his family held at gunpoint; the family would go on to spend over $250,000 in legal fees and even when the child porn charges were thrown out he *still* tried to get the boy listed as a sex offender. Andy's other adventures include spending $2 million of taxpayer money on TV commercials about himself. Not campaign commercials, just pointless self-promotion commercials. He had a "crime-prevention book" published, which was also largely self-promotion and included portraits of himself in it. Looking at his wiki entry now, there are some curious edits which weren't there the last time I checked, so maybe he's had some down time lately to brush it up.

Let's hear Joe in his own words-

"Well you know, they call you KKK. They did me. I think it's an honor. It means we're doing something."(16) "I spend $0.40 day on inmates, and $1.50 on dogs, the dogs get air conditioning."

1 http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/local/articles/2008/09/29/20080929arpaioprofile0929.html
2 http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2004-08-05/news/dog-day-afternoon/full
3 http://www.cofad1.state.az.us/opinionfiles/cv/cv010239.pdf
4 http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/2008/04/14/20080414mcsoallegations04142008-CR.html
5 http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/1997-01-23/news/jailers-show-a-paraplegic-who-s-boss/1
6 http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/1999-01-14/news/the-8-million-victim/
7 http://caselaw.findlaw.com/us-9th-circuit/1305836.html
8 http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2007-12-20/news/inhumanity-has-a-price/3
9 http://www.websupp.org/data/DAZ/355904-DAZ.pdf
10 http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003661135
11 http://www.ktar.com/?nid=6&sid=798765
12 http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/?sty=23162
13 http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/1999-08-05/news/the-plot-to-assassinate-arpaio/
14 http://www.abcnews.go.com/2020/print?id=2791529
15 http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2008-02-28/news/andrew-thomas-maricopa-county-s-top-prosecutor-burnishes-his-wikipedia-page/
16 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFTUQ71Aq0o

# ? Mar 2, 2014 03:14

duffmensch: Feb 20, 2004; Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem!

You'd think that things would have gotten better since those things came to light, but no: http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2012-02-16/news/joe-arpaio-s-office-says-to-hell-with-the-children/

Basically, if you were Latino and lived in some parts of Phoenix, good luck if you were sexually assaulted - several hundred (if not thousands) cases were simply ignored by the MCSO. This only came to light years after the fact.

Adding to that, his deputies were caught going through some of the defense councils papers in open court. When caught on camera, the deputy refused to apologize and a bomb threat was called in when the deputy was held in contempt of court.

This looks like it's been updated recently: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maricopa_County_Sheriff's_Office_controversies

Basically, gently caress Arpaio and anyone who would support his actions/policies.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 03:34

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

duffmensch posted:

Basically, gently caress Arpaio and anyone who would support his actions/policies.

If I was involved in organized crime I'd probably be Arpaio's #1 fan. Busting a serious criminal organization involves a lot of hard work, I'd be safe as long as there are taco shops for Arpaio to do a high profile raid on.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 04:23

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

Sir Rolo posted:

Minimum Wage.

Clearly those are all Republican controlled states too, right?

# ? Mar 2, 2014 04:27

StealthArcher: Jan 10, 2010

CRAP WRONG THREAD.

Sorry bout that.

StealthArcher fucked around with this message at 05:14 on Mar 2, 2014

# ? Mar 2, 2014 04:52

Dyz: Dec 10, 2010

vyelkin posted:

There's also this post compiled by a goon a few years ago. Be aware that some of the links are broken now, so if you plan to use it you may want to find new sources for some of the things.

Obviously "cruel and unusual punishment" doesn't apply to these dirty shoplifters and paraplegic potheads.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 04:52

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

Also, Arizona is at $7.90.

It's higher than the minimum, but not much higher.

Edit:
Basically, we have the same minimum wage as 2009, but the rest of the country moved backwards with inflation while we stayed still.

http://data.bls.gov/cgi-bin/cpicalc.pl?cost1=7.25&year1=2009&year2=2014

Dr. Arbitrary fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Mar 2, 2014

# ? Mar 2, 2014 04:54

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

Sir Rolo posted:

Furious Liberal Friday.

Read the constitution:

~~A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State~~, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Done.

VideoTapir fucked around with this message at 05:49 on Mar 2, 2014

# ? Mar 2, 2014 05:40

StealthArcher: Jan 10, 2010

^^^ Is it just me or is he starting to shade green around the edges of that guy's face?

Are we soon gonna have IncrediLiberal Hulk Friday?

# ? Mar 2, 2014 05:46

peter banana: Sep 2, 2008; Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

staticman posted:

What the gently caress are they putting in the water in Arkansas? That's it, I'm done. I'm done being nice. I'm touching the poop.

the forwarded email extolling his "virtues" actually uses the words "inhumane treatment." Fascinating.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 15:05

Verisimilidude: Dec 20, 2006; Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges

HipGnosis posted:

the forwarded email extolling his "virtues" actually uses the words "inhumane treatment." Fascinating.

Wait, is that email supposed to make me appreciate this sheriff? I thought it was bringing attention to how much of an evil-sounding rear end in a top hat the guy is.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 15:42

Jagged Jim: Sep 26, 2013; I... I can only look though the window...

Dirty Job posted:

Wait, is that email supposed to make me appreciate this sheriff? I thought it was bringing attention to how much of an evil-sounding rear end in a top hat the guy is.

To certain people that's a feature, not a bug.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 16:40

myron cope: Apr 21, 2009

Jagged Jim posted:

To certain people that's a feature, not a bug.

No I love the Constitution. SECOND AMENDMENT, YOU CAN'T TAKE OUR GUNS.

What's that? "Cruel and unusual punishment" :confused:

never heard of it. We should let prisoners starve to death after they are tortured!!! like and share if u agree

# ? Mar 2, 2014 17:17

Amused to Death: Aug 10, 2009; google "The Night Witches", and prepare for

Amused to Death posted:

There was a massive knife attack in China today with 27 dead and over 100 injured, prepare for an onslaught of "Well libtards should we ban knives??!?!"

'Sup me from 24 hours ago?

e: need to blank out something
e2: and back!

Amused to Death fucked around with this message at 17:37 on Mar 2, 2014

# ? Mar 2, 2014 17:34

Harold Fjord: Jan 3, 2004

Group of men. Silly chinese. If they had guns they could do that with one guy!

# ? Mar 2, 2014 18:33

VitalSigns: Sep 3, 2011

Click for one weird tip to save your county thousands in prison expenses _{and pay out only millions in wrongful death settlements!}

# ? Mar 2, 2014 18:41

Wanamingo: Feb 22, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

My favorite counter example to that is to point out that lots of knives are banned for being too dangerous.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 18:42

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

If Chinese people were more obese, they could survive knife wounds better.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 18:44

Staryberry: Oct 16, 2009

Also, at least one report says that one of the knives was at least two feet long. I think that most if not all states have some form of knife control. Several states have carry controls on large edged knives, for example, limiting the size of knife you can concealed carry to 3 1/2 inches, and limiting the size of open carry knives to 5 inches, unless you have a permit.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 18:48

LeJackal: Apr 5, 2011

Edit: Nope.

LeJackal fucked around with this message at 18:52 on Mar 2, 2014

# ? Mar 2, 2014 18:50

Guilty Spork: Feb 26, 2011; Thunder rolled. It rolled a six.

HipGnosis posted:

the forwarded email extolling his "virtues" actually uses the words "inhumane treatment." Fascinating.

Seriously, I'm pretty sure that in other circumstances a person doing the exact same thing that Arpaio has done could be tried, convicted, and hung as a war criminal.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 20:44

Amused to Death: Aug 10, 2009; google "The Night Witches", and prepare for

New post from the previous gun nut

I mean if there' only one job the government has it's literally to protect its citizens

# ? Mar 2, 2014 21:10

Mc Do Well: Aug 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Amused to Death posted:

New post from the previous gun nut

I mean if there' only one job the government has it's literally to protect its citizens

The only possible response

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPYZD71Ne74

# ? Mar 2, 2014 21:22

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

Amused to Death posted:

New post from the previous gun nut

I mean if there' only one job the government has it's literally to protect its citizens

Cool, so all those gangsters in the inner city who have guns are just doing their duty as citizens to protect themselves against their violent environments?

These guys are just doing their job and protecting themselves, instead of letting the government do it?

Cool. Good to know.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 21:25

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

vyelkin posted:

These guys are just doing their job and protecting themselves, instead of letting the government do it?

Cool. Good to know.

That is indeed exactly what they were doing, though.

I mean, I guess you can hope that your theoretical opponent would instantly start frothing at the mouth about black people with guns, but if they don't, you've put yourself in a weird arguing position.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 21:57

Mmann: Dec 1, 2007; Kyoon Was Right
12/21/12

Woah, woah woah.. let's not get crazy now.
The people in that poster are both white so we trust THEM to only use the guns on the bad guys.

Like the ones in the picture you posted.

But on an actual serious note:
If crazy person logic dictates that 'good' people having guns would stop 'bad' people from committing crimes with guns, why does everyone having access to knives - dozens probably in their own home! - not protect everyone from being victims of knife crimes?

# ? Mar 2, 2014 21:58

Dr Christmas: Apr 24, 2010; Berninating the one percent,
Berninating the Wall St.
Berninating all the people
In their high rise penthouses!
🔥😱🔥🔫👴🏻

Wanamingo posted:

My favorite counter example to that is to point out that lots of knives are banned for being too dangerous.

And that did nothing to prove the stabbing :smug:

# ? Mar 2, 2014 22:06

Imperialist Dog: Oct 21, 2008; "I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\

The attack was most likely carried out by ~~freedom fighters~~ terrorists from Xinjiang, who are ~~sick of being under Chinese colonial rule~~ Muslims. If guns were easy to come by in China it would have been much, much worse.

Also, my phone wants to correct Xinjiang to Zionism :tinfoil:

# ? Mar 2, 2014 23:28

Spangly A: May 14, 2009; God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

I'm not sure how to respond because to list everything bad Nixon did would take me hours.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 00:41

Thomas13206: Jun 18, 2013

Spangly A posted:

I'm not sure how to respond because to list everything bad Nixon did would take me hours.

PRISM is a clandestine mass electronic surveillance data mining program launched in 2007 by the National Security Agency (NSA), with participation from an unknown date by the British equivalent agency, GCHQ.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 00:49

EXAKT Science: Aug 14, 2012; 8 on the Kinsey scale

Spangly A posted:

I'm not sure how to respond because to list everything bad Nixon did would take me hours.

Well, one potential tack to take would be that the NSA's spying programs started under W Bush, but anyone who unironically posts Ron Paul as someone to be taken seriously is most likely beyond help.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 00:50

Thomas13206: Jun 18, 2013

Do people who make/post poo poo like that genuinely not understand the difference between a President being in charge while intelligence agencies do their usual intelligence agency bullshit and a President personally sending goons like G.Gordon Liddy out to stalk (and potentially murder) their political enemies? I'm not a fan of the former but there's a huge difference between it and the latter.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 01:00

1stGear: Jan 16, 2010; Here's to the new us.

pd187 posted:

Do people who make/post poo poo like that genuinely not understand the difference between a President being in charge while intelligence agencies do their usual intelligence agency bullshit and a President personally sending goons like G.Gordon Liddy out to stalk (and potentially murder) their political enemies? I'm not a fan of the former but there's a huge difference between it and the latter.

Very few people these days realize that the Watergate scandal went beyond Nixon ordered some people to burgle a hotel room.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 01:15

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 15:07

Cemetry Gator: Apr 3, 2007; Do you find something comical about my appearance when I'm driving my automobile?

Also, you might notice how these guys are horribly inaccurate, often blurring their facts and fictions. Also, Obama is in office. These guys hate anything Obama does. Dude could clip his nails and someone wonders why he's not out fixing the economy.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 01:21

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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