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crowtribe
Apr 2, 2013

I'm noice, therefore I am.
Grimey Drawer
It was a recent successful Kickstarter, Iron Edda (not Eda): https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/sandandsteam/iron-edda-war-of-metal-and-bone-for-fate-coretm

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Mr. Maltose
Feb 16, 2011

The Guffless Girlverine
I'm actually super sad that we didn't get Giant Bonebots for Pendragon.

Dedman Walkin
Dec 20, 2006



Latest update for the Iron Edda kickstarter said, since they were so close for the Pendragon goal, they'd do it anyway. So it's the default FateCore/FAE book, then the Dungeon World book and the Pendragon book will be released.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Welp, just Obsidian'd my table.

Oh well a rushed ending that partially builds up on the themes the game established and has the players so eager to kill the big bad they never bother talking to it is better than a nonsensical ending, right?

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
Email them a found diary or the words of an imprisoned bard.

SpiritOfLenin
Apr 29, 2013

be happy :3


I have no idea what is going on this ship anymore, Tau diplomats get yelled at and Grot Rebel Army saves Jericho's Reach (in their opinion)

Yet another session of Rogue Trader, and the start of this one was... confusing, to say the least. Last session our Missionary died to a terminal case of possession, so this session our players were the Genetor with Tyranid genes, two Orks, Voidmaster... and the Missionary. Our Seneschal's player negotiated with the GM that his character died instead of the Missionary, so now Missionary is alive again, and he played with the Voidmaster this week since he hadn't made his replacement character yet. Except that canonically, he also died earlier, and he was found unconscious in front of a broken statue that was erected in his honor. Everyone was sort of confused by this, especially since the Seneschal had apparantely disappeared, leaving only a grease stain in his quarters. Not that anyone had noticed anything except that the Seneschal hadn't been around for a couple of weeks. The Missionary's memory was a bit hazy about what had happened, so we had to tell him that he should have been dead. We also made a medical check on him and noticed he didn't have the scars he should have had. Rather confusing. Oh well, business as usual in the end, even if the Kommando and the Genetor were rather weirded out, but eventually they both shrugged and lived with it, the Genetor figuring out that maybe the Missionary is some sort of warp-spawned copy or something, not really caring about anything except that the Missionary was alive again. The Ork Weirdboy was really happy to notice the priest was alive again and hugged him, much to the priest's discomfort. Unfortunately the priest is at one fate point now, so he's a walking dead man anyway, but it is possible that he survives until the end of the campaign if he's a bit lucky and heroic enough to get more fate points.

The Inquisitor that hated us had invited us to meet her, and off we went to the meeting, and got told that we were supposed to go to a super secret warp portal in the middle of nowhere and go through it to Jericho's Reach. My character knew the location of the gate, and when the Navy representative was about to tell us where the gate is, I just casually pointed to its exact location and asked whether it was there. The Navy guy was a bit shocked that something so secret was known by a random tech priest with an oddly shaped helmet. Eventually the Inquisitor told the poor Navy guy to get on with it, since it appeared that the guy was too shocked to keep talking without some persuasion. How could he have known that the Genetor had got the location from Black Library of all places, with some hints about what it was from a radical Ordo Xenos inquisitor. She really didn't tell us what she was going to want us to do, just that we should probably accept her request - because if we declined we would probably go on trial for all the shady stuff we have done over the years. Of course all of us were just really excited to go there, Orks just because there'd be fighting, the Genetor because Tyranid test subjects, the Missionary just because it would be a good and proper suicide mission and the Voidmaster just thought we could punch Chaos in the face or something. It wasn't really all that clear. The Inquisitor told us that the reason she wanted us to go and do the mission was because of our xeno-loving ways, but she refused to elaborate. Because she loving hates us for the afore mentioned habit of allying with Xenos. But anyway, that was the briefing and we got some time to kill so we shopped for some equipment, with focus on "stuff that can murder stuff better". We forgot to fix our ship once again, it's had battle damage for like five ingame years by now, but we never remember to fix it.

And off we go to the Warp Gate, and through it to Jericho's Reach, with everyone feeling a bit weirded out by the trip except for the Genetor and the Voidmaster... except that as soon as we get to Koronus Expanse the Genetor starts hearing the chatter of a billion voices in her head and goes "ouch", hitting her head on the nearest wall for a couple of minutes. After which she gives the Kommando a small baton and tells him to hit her whenever she acts out of character. He immediately hits her on the head. A few explanations later the Ork understands what she meant and stops hitting her in the head with the baton. Next time the Genetor sees the Kommando he's connected the baton to his choppa and electrified it. The Genetor sighs, makes a modification to her helmet that shocks her when someone presses a button in a remote and gives it to the Missionary with the same advice. He also presses the button immediately and the Genetor once again has to explain what she meant, telling him to press the button if she got controlled by Tyranids. Then he presses the button several times until it actually stunned me, since it is actually very hard to stun my character thanks to good toughness score and Iron Jaw talent. I also attached the remote to his Power Armour, since it was not like this was gonna be relevant except in a combat situation.
We met up with a Navy ship that got attached to us as an escort, after which we followed them to the Watch Fortress where the Inquisitor was waiting for us. The Navy captain on the ship was apparantely a really explosion happy dude, with his favourite tactic being "shoot all the things with explosions" whenever in combat. Everyone immediately warmed up to the guy.

We finally arrived at the Watch Fortress and met a bunch of really big people in monk robes who guided us to the Inquisitor and a high ranking Navy officer - in other words, we met Space Marines but didn't realize it IC, just thought they were some giant dudes. But anyway, the Navy officer seemed to be the one who had requested support and the Inquisitor had told him that we were experts - and he thought we had been informed what we were supposed to do. We were a bit confused, but realized that the Inquisitor wanted to embarass us in front of the commander. What a bitch. Now the whole reason we were here was that Navy was busy fighting here, and the Inquisition and the Navy thought that we might be able to help the pressure here so they could afford to give us some support against the Waaargh. We knew about three major threats on the Reach, the Tyranids, Tau and Chaos, and realized that the Tau was the only one we might be able to help with - through diplomacy. That was the reason the Inquisitor had wanted us, since despite the fact that she hated the idea, negotiating a temporary peace with the Tau would be worth it. And who better to do it except the Rogue Trader dynasty well known for their alliance with the Eldar and the presence of three different xenos species on board their flagship. We agreed and off we went to meet the Tau... after a small moment where both the Kommando and the Missionary used their anti-mind control measures on the Genetor, making her a bit miffed that she'd given them the instructions and the means to disrupt her a bit early. It is not fun getting electro shocks to your brain.

After a bit of OOC buffoonery, we went to Tau controlled space and hailed the nearest ship and got them to agree to send a few diplomats to our ship. As soon as they arrived, we noticed a minor problem... the Water Caste responsible for the negotiations seemed to think they could convince us to start serving the Greater Good and they kept trying to push it on us, and they kept insulting the Emperor by accident. Nobody liked their approach very much, especially since whenever we tried to turn the conversation to what could we give to them so they'd enter a cease fire with the Imperium they kept pushing the Greater Good agenda even more, trying to tell us that we should follow the Greater Good and get everyone else to follow it as well. And then they also kept interrupting the sole military Tau that came with us, the one we thought most likely to tell us what they would want in a military way. So we got pissed and told all the Water Caste to shut the gently caress up, with every single PC throwing an Intimidation roll - in the end the result was so high that the Tau took a fear test, failed it and ended up hiding behind the couch in shock. The rest of the negotiations were between us and the sole Tau military commander who was somewhat shocked by how the negotiations had turned out, and he kept stammering because of his poor Low Gothic skills. Still, we got more out of him than out of the actual diplomats and found out a place where the Tyranids had attacked a planet under Tau control and we promised to go there and help. We told the Water caste diplomats that we had made a deal afterwards, with our Missionary picking one of them up from behind the couch and intimidating him out of the shock. For once we didn't like Xenos we met, but it was probably because they kept insulting our beliefs and outright lying, something even the Eldar never did - I mean, sure, Eldar are dicks and leave out stuff, but they rarely actually lie, I don't think they've told us a single outright lie in fact, but they rarely speak about religion besides their own. Even the Orks think the 'Emprah' is a swell guy, a humie warboss of great measure.

So, off we went to save this pitiful Tau planet from the onslaught of the Great Devourer, and we appeared amidst a swarm of Tyranid bioships fighting against a couple of Tau ships with a few Tyranid ships vomiting spores on the planet we were here to save. The combat started out great for my character with her loving up every single roll for four consecutive rounds due to some really abysmal rolling. It was fluffed that for those turns she kept hitting her head on the closest wall to silence the voices in her head. Oh, I almost forgot the one random ship that was there, something that I'm not sure the GM even planned for, a miniature was just accidentally forgotten on the battle map and then it stayed as the glorious Grot Rebel Brigade. A single super crappy ship filled with grots. Our Weirdboy yelled at them and they accepted our leadership out of sheer fear. As is good and proper. The battle commenced rather quickly, and we freed one Tau ship from the tendrils of a Tyranid ship, and our Navy ally shot the manouvering flippers/tentacles off of one bioship. This was going to be a recurring injury, every single major Tyranid ship got their manouvering tentacles shot off during the combat, and we joked that the best strategy to defeat tyranids is just to shoot of their flippertentacles and let them drift off to deep space. The fight was a bit of a chore, with both the Genetor and the Weirdboy being sorta bad at helping in space combat. I mean, my character could help the machine spirits a little, but she had a bit of a lackluster pool for that because I'd never upgraded her Tech-use, and the Weirdboy literally had nothing to do. I really don't like space combat in Rogue Trader, it's easy to have characters that can't really contribute to it and it always lasts forever.
After we'd gotten both the Tau ships free we started to turn the tide against the Tyranids, helped out by the fact that we kept shooting off their manouvering tentacles leaving them to just drift forwards with no capability of changing their course, meaning we had easy shots on their back sides. Most importantly, the Grots finished off two bioships! One of them was stuck drifting away and the Grots just shot it in the rear a lot until they managed to take it out, and the other one was the last big Tyranid ship - that we had shot every single weapon off. We just told the Grots to finish it off and watched the spectacle on our screens, laughing aloud at the slow painful death of the bioship - and this particular bioship had accidentally blown off both of its main guns earlier after a double critical fail, and the death of the big bioship was the end of the session for the most part - there was just a short bit where we re-established our authority as the bosses of the Grot Rebels, which we did by murdering the Grot delegation they sent to the negotiations, obviously. Not sure why they thought they could stay independent.

Daetrin
Mar 21, 2013
My players were trying to spring some hostages from custody. Simple plan - stroll up, the Breaker tears out a chunk of wall, they grab the hostages and flee to the waiting skyboat.

They roll badly.

Now the building is collapsing, they have a whole horde of hostages to deal with instead of just a few, and all the enemies inside the building are pouring out. The mad engineer just unleashed thousands of cactus-spined kittens from the compressed kitten cube he's been carrying around to make a barrier and is directing them with cat meows. No, he can't speak cat, he just figures it's the best way to go.

Kavak
Aug 23, 2009


Daetrin posted:

The mad engineer just unleashed thousands of cactus-spined kittens from the compressed kitten cube he's been carrying around to make a barrier and is directing them with cat meows. No, he can't speak cat, he just figures it's the best way to go.

Your next story is going to be explaining why and how he created the kitten cube, right?

Ablative
Nov 9, 2012

Someone is getting this as an avatar. I don't know who, but it's gonna happen.

Kavak posted:

Your next story is going to be explaining why and how he created the kitten cube, right?

Why wouldn't you create a kitten cube if you could?

Daetrin
Mar 21, 2013

Ablative posted:

Why wouldn't you create a kitten cube if you could?

He also has a shovel bazooka.

Kavak
Aug 23, 2009


Daetrin posted:

He also has a shovel bazooka.

That's a bazooka that fires shovels, or just a bazooka somehow made out of a shovel?

Daetrin
Mar 21, 2013

Kavak posted:

That's a bazooka that fires shovels, or just a bazooka somehow made out of a shovel?

We're not quite sure. All we know is she's called Miriabelle, she runs on a "potential engine," and she blew off the side of a hotel when some people who didn't know what she was messed with her. And that it's a she.

SpookyLizard
Feb 17, 2009
I would like to know more.

On many, many levels.

General Maximus
Jul 14, 2006
Standard models come in white labcoats for inexplicable reasons.
I would also like to know more.

Punting
Sep 9, 2007
I am very witty: nit-witty, dim-witty, and half-witty.

I thirdly require this information.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
C-c-combobre

TELL US MORE

Daetrin
Mar 21, 2013

SpookyLizard posted:

I would like to know more.

On many, many levels.


General Maximus posted:

I would also like to know more.


Punting posted:

I thirdly require this information.


The Leper Colon V posted:

C-c-combobre

TELL US MORE

I, uh. About the game or about Miriabelle or about the character that wields her?

Captain Bravo
Feb 16, 2011

An Emergency Shitpost
has been deployed...

...but experts warn it is
just a drop in the ocean.

Daetrin posted:

I, uh. About the game or about Miriabelle or about the character that wields her?

Yes.

Punting
Sep 9, 2007
I am very witty: nit-witty, dim-witty, and half-witty.

Daetrin posted:

I, uh. About the game or about Miriabelle or about the character that wields her?

You ask that like you think we won't ravenously devour both stories. That's adorable :allears:

Daetrin
Mar 21, 2013
Okay, let's see.
It's a Fate game, and my players asked for "Fantastical Fantasy, but no wizards." Magic is there, just inherent to people and things.
So, Fragments was born. A long time ago some people did something really shouldn't have and blew up the planet. So now it's a huge orbiting ring of variously-sized rocks around a tiny leftover core. Each fragment or biome has its own magical laws of physics. We started out on Steelhollow, where metals are a little bit alive and ships sail on rivers of molten iron. Right now we're in Rainmark, which is an enormous storm powered by a bunch of floating shells of enormous proportions - think of a nautilus shell that can hold an entire city in the bell of its mouth. And that's just one of them. Also, all the transportation is based on smaller shells (as in, actually ship-sized) that twist the wind of the eternal storm so you can actually sail in it.

Unvisited but defined fragments include:
The Hellrock, the leftover core of the planet, which is full of sort-of-radiation from the apocalyptic incident and everyone's crowded into a series of numbered cities that are sentient and jealous. They don't want you to leave.
An unnamed fragment where words have literal weight behind them. Puns are deadly weapons. My players love punning so I figure I should give them a chance to weaponize it.
The Shadow Stronghold, which, like Isla de Muerta, is a place you can't find unless you already know how to get there, and is the home base of the Shadowguild, a network of thieves, assassins, and other ne'er-do-wells.

The player characters: Odrak, Sporelight Legion Veteran Breaker. He comes from a Fragment where the gravity is against the wrong side and the surface points more or less straight down at the Hellrock. It's very dark, and all the life is fungus based (including Odrak). He's a living demolitionist and punches buildings to death (note that he's not superhumanely strong otherwise. Just strong).
Lawton: Mad Engineer of the Hellrock. Someone replaced his eyes with psychic steel before he escaped the Hellrock. Noted carrier of various things that can be assembled into SCIENCE of various stripes. Wears goggles. Wielder of Miriabelle.
Umbra: Tiny Exiled Dragon of the Shadowguild. She's a three foot long assassin that actually got kicked out in part due to politics but in part due to Lawton. Kicked out is a generous term - she faked her own death so she could escape. Can be pretty much invisible and get into completely sealed rooms somehow.

They're about as dysfunctional as you would imagine.

The game started out with a standard "go retrieve this artifact of doom that was stolen" plot. They tracked the bad guy into the Rainmark, found some stuff that might be related, and enthusiastically went and captured a shellship for their own use. On the same trip they run into someone that Lawton burned in the past, the aunt of a Spire Lord, but they manage to deflect her for the moment. They also run into someone from the Shadowguild who recognizes Umbra and that gets that ball rolling. Then they pumped an actual spire lord for information, and found that the bad guy was at the bottom of one of the shells (this is when the hotel-blowing-up-bit happened). So instead of trekking down the interior they just fly down there and Odrak punches a passage through twenty feet of shell so they can ambush him.

One thing leads to another and the artifact goes off, disabling the Spire's magic and starting it deorbiting into the hellrock. The badguy peaces out and they scramble frantically to restart the inherent magic, while in freefrall. They barely manage to pull that off, and emerge triumphant with the artifact they were sent to get! Only for the Shadowguild to get Odrak piss-drunk at the next spire and steal it, along with capturing all of them through various means (one compel, rolls for the rest. They just managed to roll badly plus thought it'd be fun).

They break out. Lawton, while bound and gagged, managed to improvise a weapon out of his blindfold and iron hook used for restraining prisoners and explode the door. Also setting fire to the ship. Umbra literally vanishes from her cage and rifles through the captor's private stuff. Odrak is kept drunk in the ship's canteen and just starts a giant bar brawl where he uses a dude to hit another dude. All this while the fire spreads.

At this point they decide to take down the Shadowguild. The crew abandons ship but Lawton rigs up some fire extinguisher stuff out of alcohol and other chemicals (because Mad Science) and they manage to put it out before the ship is totally gutted. So they sail it to the nearest spire before it breaks in two, loudly proclaim what went down, and then nope the gently caress out of there before someone kills them in their sleep. The hostage rescue takes place during their way back to the spire where they left their actual shellship.

They've just found that their shellship is being kept by the spire lord aunt until Lawton pays up. And because it's hilarious, her identical twin brother has a crush on Lawton and that's why she hasn't squashed him like a bug. She's a nine-foot-tall gator lady.

Despite having a lot of sessions we've basically only just started, and sadly there aren't all that many hilarious incidents yet. I'll try and keep you updated when they happen though.

Daetrin fucked around with this message at 16:12 on Mar 1, 2014

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER
The story was fun, but "nine-foot-tall gator lady" was just golden since it was so out of nowhere.

Daetrin
Mar 21, 2013

VanSandman posted:

The story was fun, but "nine-foot-tall gator lady" was just golden since it was so out of nowhere.

So far as the races of various characters go I've had half-plants, hawkmen, a six-foot-tall and four-foot-wide dude made of actual gold, and I don't know what else. And they haven't even gotten to the stranger fragments. Gator lady is pretty tame, really.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
I mean this as the highest compliment possible: It sounds like you're running a kick rear end One Piece game.

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

I think I speak for all of us when I say that you are having fun correctly.

crowtribe
Apr 2, 2013

I'm noice, therefore I am.
Grimey Drawer
Played my first ever game of Paranoia (XP) yesterday with the usual group, while the GM for the Pathfinder game finishes painting some terrain.

Totally didn't understand the rules -> Turns out I didn't need to anyway.

It started with the apparently obligatory fight over the selection of pens in blue, black and red, the lack of all forms required, or wrong forms entirely, and went swiftly downhill.

It got a bit meta when the Loyalty Officer started writing with a pencil they'd picked up absent-mindedly and the Happiness Officer poked it around the table with his red pen as if it was a strange, explosive device, on the premise that we would never have seen wood and were not allocated this item of equipment. Hygiene Officer terminated Loyalty for introduction of foreign bodies into Alpha Complex.

I, as Team Leader, used reverse, rambling circular logic to change the marching order so I was at the rear, and promptly pulled the pin on the Happiness Officer's grenade he'd stolen from PLC.

I should point out that we were drinking as we played, and it devolved into the most ridiculous accusations, back-pedals and change of fortunes, and we hadn't even hit R&D yet.

I think one of the highlights was when we had a short break - I removed the blue ink and tip from a blue pen, and put it into a black pen body, and used a black whiteboard marker to colour the tip black to disguise it further, in cahoots with most of the table, to try and get the too-smart-for-his-own-good Hygiene Officer back. It backfired somehow when he caught on and secretly swapped it with the Happiness Officer's legitimate black pen. I spotted the Happiness Officer writing on his requisition form in blue and he hadn't noticed yet, so started calling for Friend Computer to witness his Treason... until the Happiness Officer promptly realised his mistake and ATE the entire sheet of paper to destroy the evidence.

Great fun - complete nonsense, and a good change of pace from serious business Elf Games.

Mr. Maltose
Feb 16, 2011

The Guffless Girlverine

crowtribe posted:

Played my first ever game of Paranoia (XP) yesterday with the usual group.....Totally didn't understand the rules -> Turns out I didn't need to anyway.

That should be a blurb on the back of the rulebook, honestly.

neonchameleon
Nov 14, 2012



Just one question. What colour was the paper you were writing on?

(Sounds like a great session!)

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

crowtribe posted:

I think one of the highlights was when we had a short break - I removed the blue ink and tip from a blue pen, and put it into a black pen body, and used a black whiteboard marker to colour the tip black to disguise it further, in cahoots with most of the table, to try and get the too-smart-for-his-own-good Hygiene Officer back. It backfired somehow when he caught on and secretly swapped it with the Happiness Officer's legitimate black pen. I spotted the Happiness Officer writing on his requisition form in blue and he hadn't noticed yet, so started calling for Friend Computer to witness his Treason... until the Happiness Officer promptly realised his mistake and ATE the entire sheet of paper to destroy the evidence.
This is absolutely everything Paranoia should be :allears: I wish more sessions turned out like this.

Coward
Sep 10, 2009

I say we take off and surrender unconditionally from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure



.

crowtribe posted:

... until the Happiness Officer promptly realised his mistake and ATE the entire sheet of paper to destroy the evidence.

Lovely! And really reminiscent of a Star Wars/Paranoia session I ran at a Con where one player demanded to see the execution warrant that incriminated her and immediately ate it when shown the scrap of paper.

Whybird
Aug 2, 2009

Phaiston have long avoided the tightly competetive defence sector, but the IRDA Act 2052 has given us the freedom we need to bring out something really special.

https://team-robostar.itch.io/robostar


Nap Ghost
My proudest moment as a a
Paranoia GM was driving a player to eat his own psychological evaluation form out of frustration.

MadScientistWorking
Jun 23, 2010

"I was going through a time period where I was looking up weird stories involving necrophilia..."

Whybird posted:

My proudest moment as a a
Paranoia GM was driving a player to eat his own psychological evaluation form out of frustration.
I still think the greatest Paranoia moment I've ever had is when I tried to outsmart the GM. We were testing the reverse grenade which obviously did what it sounds like it would. I doing the sensible thing moved right next to the target. The GM rolled a one and had the NPC drop the grenade next to him.

JustJeff88
Jan 15, 2008

I AM
CONSISTENTLY
ANNOYING
...
JUST TERRIBLE


THIS BADGE OF SHAME IS WORTH 0.45 DOUBLE DRAGON ADVANCES

:dogout:
of SA-Mart forever

Mr. Maltose posted:

That should be a blurb on the back of the rulebook, honestly.

That might hurt sales. Get the (potential) players to eat the book, that way the might buy another one... possibly for entertainment reasons, possibly nutritional.

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

quote:

Paranoia Talk

I think my favorite Paranoia story came from this thread in which one of the players had a secret society or something and during a big ol' fight with whomever one of the players kept trying to call on his secret society for reserves who never showed up. Things were looking bad as a tank or something rolled up on them but they managed to survive by blowing up the tank with a rocket.

The player was mad at the DM because the secret society reinforcements never showed up to help and the DM replied with something along the lines of "What do you think the tank was?"


At least I think it was a Paranoia game.


edit: I was googling Paranoia Secret Societies and I came across this gem from here:

quote:

The greatest Paranoia game involves a group of people who've never played it before, and a GM who has.

The GM informed them that one amongst them was a member of a secret society, and one was a mutant. And he would decide whom by dice roll. All fair and random.

Then, in order to avoid 'unconscious metagaming' he took each player aside to tell them whether they were, or weren't a mutant or a society member.

Suffice to say, each player found out that the dice had been unkind to them and that they were both the society member, and the mutant at the same time.

This is how the game began....

Here's a guy who Gets It.

Agrikk fucked around with this message at 19:29 on Mar 4, 2014

Doodmons
Jan 17, 2009
The first game I ever ran was Paranoia. The special pieces of equipment that R&D had given them were:

A railgun with an autoaim (determine who the autoaim locked onto with a random dice roll)
A prototype medical assistance bot (that will randomly either perfectly heal the injury or just sever it)
A big red button labelled DANGER DO NOT PRESS with a load of R&D stickers on it saying "holy poo poo keep this locked up, don't give it to those Troubleshooter idiots to test under any circumstances"

Clone respawns were also being delivered by a new prototype delivery system that they were told higher ups had big hopes for. It was a cannon that fired drop pods. During the course of the game it caused so much damage it was unreal. There were a few points where they ended up shooting each other so that the replacement pod would annihilate a bunch of enemies. The drop pods completely destroyed a power plant, a train line and an office block. There was no way the party could possibly blame all the damage on the delivery system that management had high hopes for, so they (successfully) tried to blame it all on mutant commie traitors.

It was a good introduction to GMing for sure.

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

Agrikk posted:

The player was mad at the DM because the secret society reinforcements never showed up to help and the DM replied with something along the lines of "What do you think the tank was?"
I don't remember that story, but it's a hilarious thing to do to a player. So long as it's fair, anyway.

Mr. Maltose
Feb 16, 2011

The Guffless Girlverine

Cardiovorax posted:

I don't remember that story, but it's a hilarious thing to do to a player. So long as it's fair, anyway.

It's Paranoia. It wouldn't be fair unless it was totally unfair.

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

Mr. Maltose posted:

It's Paranoia. It wouldn't be fair unless it was totally unfair.
You know what I mean. It would be pretty poo poo if the GM lied about it being reinforcements, unless it was reinforcements while also being an enemy, which is totally what any decent Paranoia GM would do. Paranoia GMs should never, ever lie. It just makes it so much better when the players finally figure it out.

Talkc
Aug 2, 2010

Mizuki! Mizuki! Mizuki!
***DEVASTATINGLY HANDSOME***
I think the most dickish thing I've ever done running paranoia, was convince a troubleshooter to write a requisition form in his own blood in order to get a ball point pen, to fill out requisition forms.

That and I have had a player decide to shoot himself in the head at the sight of a horrific furry communist mutant. It watched in horror, then went back to eating it's acorn.

Ichabod Sexbeast
Dec 5, 2011

Giving 'em the old razzle-dazzle

Talkc posted:

I think the most dickish thing I've ever done running paranoia, was convince a troubleshooter to write a requisition form in his own blood in order to get a ball point pen, to fill out requisition forms.

You didn't make the player use his own blood, did you?

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Fans
Jun 27, 2013

A reptile dysfunction

Cardiovorax posted:

Paranoia GMs should never, ever lie.

Paranoia GM's can't lie because they're always right. Even when contradicting themselves, they're not wrong at all. In fact they've just been right twice and you should be in awe.

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