|
Benny, my friend, you played the long game. I take my hat off to you.
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 01:15
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 31, 2024 07:04 |
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:I just say "yes" or "no" depending on the circumstances. Try to volunteer for more than just five hours a week or whatever ridiculously small amount of hours you were giving up when you were campaigning for the last guy. What did you do today, Benny?
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 01:57
|
|
|
Starter Wiggin posted:Out of all the things to wish you had done earlier, you pick a typing certification. My typing certification is a steam screenshot of my ranking in Typing of the Dead Overkill. Benny, I have a question about you writing seriously because not only did you lose this week (which means you are likely to obtain yet another new avatar), you managed to do this: quote:After I emerged from the passageway, I saw Jamie waiting there with a group of other miners. “Joaquin!” I called out Jamie is the narrator's name. Are you serious about writing at all.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 02:40
|
|
|
Typing, the gateway to success.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 02:48
|
|
|
Darth123123 posted:Typing, the gateway to success. I have this here typing certification I should be good for any office job circa 1985 before everybody got a computer and a whole generation learned how to type by chatting with each other online!
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 03:18
|
|
|
Ms. Happiness posted:How that typing certification helped you at all in your job search?
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 03:30
|
|
|
Benny, these people don't want your hourly schedule just so they can marvel at your lack of productivity (that's just a fun side effect). That poo poo actually helps people suggest what you could do next or instead. It also highlights stuff you don't notice outright. "I took three hours to fill out two resumes? Holy crap, I didn't realize I was so unfocused/inefficient!" Also tell us what other things your career counselor has suggested. There might be some other poo poo nuggets of advice you'd be better off not doing.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 03:34
|
|
|
Tasty_Crayon posted:Also tell us what other things your career counselor has suggested. There might be some other poo poo nuggets of advice you'd be better off not doing. More accurately, things that they've told you to do that you've probably misinterpreted in the gooniest possible way.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 03:36
|
|
|
The Saddest Rhino posted:My typing certification is a steam screenshot of my ranking in Typing of the Dead Overkill. Here's his last entry for people who don't read Thunderdome. Ctrl-F down to 'The Bird of Fortune'. This round used a cool anonymous format, so if there's any doubt, Benny was judged a loser by people who didn't know it was Benny -- not on the terms of his adoring fanclub. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GG3cP-SU0My6dkbmNFcVDzFjJVuTOXo6xGPszzmaW-c/edit Judges' summary: quote:Everyone hated this the most. It was a special kind of laziness and poo poo story. There were a lot of nonsense stories, but we could feel the authors behind them at least trying to put some fun or cool ideas into the stories. and also quote:unf this is pretty bad; I mean guy finds buttloads of gold, kills friend to take it is more the start of the story than the end? Plus loads of infelicities and bad words. –
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 03:44
|
|
|
I can't stop giggling over "sloth rampant pushing a shopping cart". This probably means I am a bad person.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 03:58
|
|
|
I'm not a writer but I read that entire story, so maybe I don't know poo poo, but Benny you should stop posting this stuff on the internet. You're not doing yourself any favors. Find someone to send it to in private and get critiques that way. It was hard to type this post without outright insulting you or your story.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 05:11
|
|
|
Aqua Bear posted:Find someone to send it to in private and get critiques that way. To be fair Benny asked me (and possibly others) to look over his story before he submitted but he asked on Sunday. Oddly my sister asked me to review one of her college papers before she submitted it and I only barely had time to review one. Sorry Benny.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 05:33
|
|
|
sorry about your self identity benny the snack
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 05:44
|
|
|
Xenocides posted:To be fair Benny asked me (and possibly others) to look over his story before he submitted but he asked on Sunday. Oddly my sister asked me to review one of her college papers before she submitted it and I only barely had time to review one. What I am relived is that my submission could have been much, much worse. I was choosing between two stories: the mining story, and an idea where I'd create "The Order of the Basilisk". Obviously I'd be reaching with the latter, so I chose the easier one. Then again, maybe if I went full retard, I'd have a more amusing story instead.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 05:47
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:What I am relived is that my submission could have been much, much worse. you am relived a lot of goon flak for this one ben ny
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 05:49
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:I asked four different people and only got back from one. Granted, I reached out the day before but I'm sure if I got more feedback, the story would've been much, much better. Stop it.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 05:54
|
|
|
Aqua Bear posted:Stop it. Yeah the defensive "I'm not as bad as I could have been" posting isn't helping you. If you want critiques that will actually help, finish your story before Friday and ask IRC and the Fiction threads for critiques with enough time for them to actually give you advice, not to mention the time you'll need to actually do something with that advice.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 06:15
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:What I am relived is that my submission could have been much, much worse. Your story made it very easy for us acting as judge last week to choose the loser. Usually, there'd be some disagreements between the judging team members, but not this time. That's how bad it was. I don't know why you're relieved you wrote a terrible story. I'm supposed to put up crits in another google doc much later but here's what I wrote as general crit on The Bird of Fortune: quote:This piece is bad. I can feel little bits of a good story floating outside the edges, but it gets marred by... everything. The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 06:26 on Mar 4, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 06:23
|
|
|
Did you get laid yet Benny
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 06:50
|
|
|
Let me get this straight, Benny. If others had reviewed your submission, it would "of" been better? So you're placing all of the blame squarely everywhere but on you.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 06:52
|
|
|
Aqua Bear posted:I'm not a writer but I read that entire story, so maybe I don't know poo poo, but Benny you should stop posting this stuff on the internet. You're not doing yourself any favors. Find someone to send it to in private and get critiques that way. I completely disagree with this, coming from someone who has gone from writing complete crap to middling crap over the past 8 months or so. While his writing is not good writing, posting in a public forum, for most people at least, can inspire you to put forth extra effort and care with your work, even if it's not readily evident to outside observers. Also, it's really important for a writer's development to not fall into the trap of a hugbox (a person or people who give just positive, or at worst neutral, feedback instead of serious crits). TD is clearly not a hugbox and he's guaranteed to get brutally honest feedback - who knows what he'd get if he just got private feedback. There's nothing better, really.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 06:55
|
|
|
Come on Benny. Monster Shopping Cart Death Rally glory is yours for the taking if you just follow your natural talents! In all seriousness, I don't think you should be looking for office jobs at all, and instead continue to focus your efforts solely on retail and/or volunteering. This for two reasons; firstly, in your current state you do not possess the basic competencies for an office administrator, unless it was a bare bones role where you only have responsibility for a fairly thought-free, mechanical task. Your attention to detail is abysmal, you are not proactive and have poor work ethic; and if any of the previous qualities land you in hot water, you lie to try and cover yourself. All of these things will coalesce into a giant clusterfuck that will screw up a bunch of people who are relying on the company to hire a functional administrator. Secondly, when said clusterfuck occurs and you are either performance managed or outright fired, this is going to keep eroding whatever self confidence you may currently possess. Right now, what you need is a job where you can learn the building blocks of being a functional professional. It doesn't even matter if you go back to cart pushing - if you can just suck it the gently caress up and go to this job and push your carts and not skip shifts and stop lying (jesus christ dude stop lying), you could start to actually build marketable skills like being punctual, hard working and dependable. And if you screw up, own up and learn from your mistakes - stop spinning bullshit excuses. If I were your parents I would be desperately hoping that even ONE of my children would be a functional enough adult to leave home. Have you ever tried sitting down and talking to them and making it clear that you DO want to be an independent adult, but that you still need a bit of help from them to achieve that? I don't mean camping in their house for another 10 years, I mean asking them to help fund the therapy you need to address the mental issues you have that have resulted in an unmotivated liar with a poor understanding of the world outside his own head. Lastly, for when you are ready for an office job and if a typing cert is so important for that, I am pretty sure most temping/recruitment agencies do them for free whenever they sign someone on to go into their temping pool. The once a month thing sounds bizarre. If you can go to an agency and somehow convince them that you're worth going into the temp pool, they should set you up with a typing test as well as Word/Excel/PowerPoint aptitude tests. E: At this point, if I was to compare this thread to the goon in the well scenario, you aren't even digging the hole deeper, you're going "Worry not, goons! The best way out of this is to lie on my back, piss all over myself in a glorious golden fountain and eventually the well will fill up and I will float to the surface!" Tamarillo fucked around with this message at 07:22 on Mar 4, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 07:15
|
|
|
Walamor posted:I completely disagree with this, coming from someone who has gone from writing complete crap to middling crap over the past 8 months or so. While his writing is not good writing, posting in a public forum, for most people at least, can inspire you to put forth extra effort and care with your work, even if it's not readily evident to outside observers. Also, it's really important for a writer's development to not fall into the trap of a hugbox (a person or people who give just positive, or at worst neutral, feedback instead of serious crits). TD is clearly not a hugbox and he's guaranteed to get brutally honest feedback - who knows what he'd get if he just got private feedback. There's nothing better, really. Fair enough, man, and that's great that it worked for you. Lots of people have said the same and it probably works for most people, but Benny is a special case. In 106 pages I don't think he has seriously responded positively (or at all) to any criticism and he refuses to take responsibility for anything, even his writing. Buuut, I think I need a break from this thread
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 07:17
|
|
|
Aqua Bear posted:In 106 pages I don't think he has seriously responded positively (or at all) to any criticism and he refuses to take responsibility for anything, even his writing. Every once in a while, there's what I think is a faint glimmer of hope. But in the end, I get rolled back down the hill with gold like: Benny the Snake posted:I asked four different people and only got back from one. Granted, I reached out the day before but I'm sure if I got more feedback, the story would've been much, much better.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 07:37
|
|
|
Well I guess I'll have to come clean about "The Bird of Fortune". I wasn't happy with it going in to Sunday when it had to be submitted. I had one person took a look at it and messaged four other people to take a look at it. Why wasn't I happy with it? It was a weak story. It was a point A to point B kind of story with two-dimensional characters and a cliched conflict. I wasn't telling a story, I was leading the reader by the nose. I wanted to bow out of the Thunderdome, but I decided to post because I had to see this through. That's why I keep coming back to the Thunderdome. I don't want to be stuck in an echo chamber and pumping out crap nobody reads thinking it's great like Ignatius from A Confederacy of Dunces. I ask that question to myself every so often: what's separating me from Ignatius J. Reilly? In one sense, I'm actually getting my writing out there for other people to see. Tamarillo, as long as I'm getting interviews from office jobs, I'll keep applying. I liked doing administrative functions for my political fellowship. Sure it wasn't even a part-time position, but I was good enough to get a letter of a good letter of recommendation from the candidate. That's not to say I'm applying to that kind of work exclusively. I'm also applying to other places like retail, restaurant, and fast food. In fact, I just got an email from Olive Garden: they want to schedule an interview with me.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 08:01
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:Well I guess I'll have to come clean about "The Bird of Fortune". I wasn't happy with it going in to Sunday when it had to be submitted. I had one person took a look at it and messaged four other people to take a look at it. Why wasn't I happy with it? It was a weak story. Seriously, just stop. If it's weak, scrap it and rewrite it or don't submit it. Don't put things online under your name if you can't stand by them, and if you thought it was good enough to submit stop weaseling around and take your lumps. I don't know what the TD regulars think about "poor story" vs "no story" but if even you hate it then it's not worth inflicting it on other people.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 08:11
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:Well I guess I'll have to come clean about "The Bird of Fortune". I wasn't happy with it going in to Sunday when it had to be submitted. I had one person took a look at it and messaged four other people to take a look at it. Why wasn't I happy with it? It was a weak story. It was a point A to point B kind of story with two-dimensional characters and a cliched conflict. I wasn't telling a story, I was leading the reader by the nose. I wanted to bow out of the Thunderdome, but I decided to post because I had to see this through. That's why I keep coming back to the Thunderdome. I don't want to be stuck in an echo chamber and pumping out crap nobody reads thinking it's great like Ignatius from A Confederacy of Dunces. I ask that question to myself every so often: what's separating me from Ignatius J. Reilly? In one sense, I'm actually getting my writing out there for other people to see. You said your candidate lost, was this because you accidentily replaced "supports seniors" with "supports the kkk" on his fliers?
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 08:11
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:Well I guess I'll have to come clean about "The Bird of Fortune". I wasn't happy with it going in to Sunday when it had to be submitted. I had one person took a look at it and messaged four other people to take a look at it. Why wasn't I happy with it? It was a weak story. It was a point A to point B kind of story with two-dimensional characters and a cliched conflict. I wasn't telling a story, I was leading the reader by the nose. I wanted to bow out of the Thunderdome, but I decided to post because I had to see this through. That's why I keep coming back to the Thunderdome. I don't want to be stuck in an echo chamber and pumping out crap nobody reads thinking it's great like Ignatius from A Confederacy of Dunces. I ask that question to myself every so often: what's separating me from Ignatius J. Reilly? In one sense, I'm actually getting my writing out there for other people to see. Mail the loving thank you note. Also, don't run the Parmesan shredder into anyone's car.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 08:12
|
|
|
Eight confirmed dead in tragic endless breadstick incident
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 08:29
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:Well I guess I'll have to come clean about "The Bird of Fortune". I wasn't happy with it going in to Sunday when it had to be submitted. I had one person took a look at it and messaged four other people to take a look at it. Why wasn't I happy with it? It was a weak story. It was a point A to point B kind of story with two-dimensional characters and a cliched conflict. I wasn't telling a story, I was leading the reader by the nose. I wanted to bow out of the Thunderdome, but I decided to post because I had to see this through. That's why I keep coming back to the Thunderdome. I don't want to be stuck in an echo chamber and pumping out crap nobody reads thinking it's great like Ignatius from A Confederacy of Dunces. I ask that question to myself every so often: what's separating me from Ignatius J. Reilly? In one sense, I'm actually getting my writing out there for other people Stop being so self congratulatory. You aren't convincing anyone that you actually felt this way before writing it. You aren't making you or the story look better by "explaining" yourself after you confirmed literally pages ago that you aren't a reliable or trustworthy person. Even if you were, it doesn't change the fact that your story sucks and we don't care why. Saying you knew that before you submitted just means you didn't have the good mind not to submit it or put in effort to work it into shape. You also shouldn't compare yourself favorably to any successful writers. No Fitzgerald, no Kafka, no whoever you mentioned before. Stop congratulating yourself for failures. This is why you aren't getting anywhere. laplace fucked around with this message at 08:46 on Mar 4, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 08:33
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:Tamarillo, as long as I'm getting interviews from office jobs, I'll keep applying. I liked doing administrative functions for my political fellowship. Sure it wasn't even a part-time position, but I was good enough to get a letter of a good letter of recommendation from the candidate. Apart from that marvellous "letter of a letter", wasn't there talk earlier (oh, soo much earlier!) about you not actually getting that recommendation? I seemt to have a hazy memory of you trying to track down the candidate/campaign manager to get a recommendation, because somehow they forgot it, or folded too quick, or something? Granted, it's been a long time since we talked about that so maybe I'm all wrong, but that's my memory and I'll swear to it in congress, dagnabbit. (Also, your "political fellowship"  )Overall: yes, stop lying, making excuses, shifting blame --- just try to make a decision and stick with it for a while instead of folding this way or that and trying to anticipate what your prospective boss would want (because you're getting it all wrong, all the time; sorry). Ask for help/advice before doing something, instead of "hey guys this didn't work out I can't see why??"
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 09:07
|
|
|
Hey guys I left the thread to get some sleep and I see a bunch of new posts. I'm still getting caught up, did anyone confirm Benny's sex offender status?
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 10:57
|
|
|
The only thing he's been abusing is the english language.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 11:05
|
|
|
Benny you are a terrible person. Not in a moral sense, as though you do bad things, but in a practical sense. You lack everything that makes a human being worth a drat.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 11:34
|
|
|
Benny, I'm curious as to if there is something in your life you didn't totally gently caress up and proceed to blame on someone else? I'd at least respect you if you had the balls to take the fall for your complete gently caress up of a life, both in looking for work and in writing. But instead you're a spineless sack of poo poo who's demise is always some other dudes fault, just anyone but you.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 12:18
|
|
|
From 3 pages ago, but I felt that this bon mot deserves its moment in the sun that it never got...Sigma-X posted:
 I feel I'm going to regret this serious advice (please don't use bleach on that priceless Persian rug), but have you looked into any cleaning jobs yet, Benny? You have talked a lot in the earlier stages of this thread about the problems of fitting work in and around your potential studies/schedule - depending on what kind of gig you go for, there will be a tonne of options from doing the earlybird shift for a couple of hours at a corporate office or the like to privately scrubbing for a busy working family etc etc. The former requires little to no human interaction and the latter will often be cash in hand. Win...win? I know I have definitely not been the kindest about your plight in this thread, but surely that's something you could do for a while to save some cash and move on? Hours could be flexible as hell. Anecdotal support for the idea: I'm a dealer in a casino and one of our cleaners is the sperglord to end all sperglords - lank, long, greasy hair; pubebeard; too loud quavering voice; no idea of when to stop oversharing his thoughts - the works. But he's a nice/harmless chap and gets on with the job and does it splendidly. Understand that I'm not saying that that is exactly YOU, Benny, just that if the epitome of awkward can do it, then...hopefully, so can you? You've implied that you chore it up at mom's house so surely you can wipe a skirting board or operate a vacuum without running it into a car, yes?
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 12:50
|
|
|
franco posted:surely you can wipe a skirting board or operate a vacuum without running it into a car, yes? Aaaahahahaha. Magic 8 Ball says "outlook not so good."
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 13:03
|
|
|
franco posted:surely you can wipe a skirting board or operate a vacuum without running it into a car, yes? No, but it's ok because it's not Benny's fault if it gets messed up. The wind was blowing in such a way that made him look sideways at the wrong moment at a girl who was showing just way too much leg and bending over with just a little butt cheek showing. How can he be blamed for that?
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 14:54
|
|
|
Croc Monster posted:Aaaahahahaha. Magic 8 Ball says "outlook not so good." I know, man, I know. I'm trying so hard to be positive. Maybe Benny could write a thank you card to the bereaved owner of the cat that he hoovered up and turn it all around (scribbled in the bathroom and presented to them as they're crying over that bloated appliance and lack of cat, of course) 
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 14:55
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 31, 2024 07:04 |
|
|
If anyone in your family owns a car, lay down behind it, get them to back over your legs, claim disability, sorted. For real though: If you want to write, then practice practice practice. You can improve and the questionable grammar and punctuation etc. is what editors are for. But don't use it as an excuse to not get out there and look for jobs. My best friend aspires to be a writer, she sends me something new pretty much every day to go over and I've seen a marked improvement. I give criticism, edit, and give her grammar tips and the next time I get something she's clearly taken the tips to heart. Thing is this woman is sending me 50 pages a time, whilst having two young children, being a general housewife, and having had a job until she quit when her second child was born. Even then she was writing, because it's what she REALLY wants to do. Or maybe writing is just not for you. Did you major specifically in Creative Writing or English? I'm doing a BA in English Language and Lit but I am buggered if I can actually write anything but essays, journal criticisms and so forth because I just don't have the creativity. I know this, accept it, and am aiming more towards library work or teaching ESL. Actually I will send aforementioned best mate over to sort you out; it'll get her out the house and she gets results. She reduced my over-privileged (Daddy is a millionaire I am a special talented snowflake), never had a job in his life ex-housemate to tears after he told her she hadn't fully experienced life, her being 27 and having accomplished the above, and him being 20 and having done nothing of note. Two weeks later he had a stupidly high paying job and we hated him even more so I guess I will pimp her out to you as a personal trainer. And for god's sake being a compulsive liar does not make you good at it. If you can't come with an excuse better than 'I have a hangover' then something is seriously wrong with your critical thinking skills Also I am glad your Gramps is ok, genuinely. happyflurple fucked around with this message at 15:23 on Mar 4, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 15:21
|
|
