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Benny the Snake posted:EDIT #3: I realize also that I'm sounding like a entitled little poo poo too. I came here to E/N not for sympathy or ego-stroking, but for the swift rear end kicking I'd recive. I needed a reality check, perspective, and advice and I got it. Thanks goons. Benny the Snake posted:to be honest, I wanted sympathy. Then I smacked myself over the head and realize I wasn't getting any around here. So mostly it was for the reality check. And I was just so emotionally drained after seeing that scene that I decided to post it here. Benny's been lying since the very first post. All he wanted was to keep his life the exact same and get some people telling him it'd all be ok. That's why he ignores stuff that's not simple, harmless questions or neutral. He doesn't WANT to get better, he wants people to feel sorry for him. BENNY GO GET YOUR BRAIN FIXED.
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Mar 5, 2014 02:34
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laplace posted:Holy loving poo poo Benny has an OKC? gently caress please tell me it's at least as good as The French Army's profile. If only The French Army didn't run off in shame. I'm really sad about that too. Imagine he and Benny in a thread together, we could even hook them up! Killing two hopeless causes with one thread. EDIT: Also, this: Benny the Snake posted:And that's my broken family. What scares me even more than them is how I'm just as broken as them No poo poo, you're broken. You're twenty levels of broken that no one here will ever fix. You are literally trapped in a cocoon and need to kick yourself out ASAP. You won't though, because it's nice, safe and snuggly in there and you have literally no real incentive to better yourself because, Benny, you lie to yourself more than you lie to anyone else in your life. You lie to yourself to make yourself feel that you're not a total and complete failure, because you tell yourself IT TOTALLY ISN'T YOUR FAULT. Benny, IT IS YOUR FAULT. No amount of telling yourself otherwise will change this and your life will not change in the slightest for the better at all until you're man enough to own up and take the fall for the last year plus of poo poo that your life has amounted to. IT IS YOUR FAULT. NO ONE ELSES. I still do expect you will ignore this, however, because selective reality is so much more comforting than the truth. CrazyTolradi fucked around with this message at 03:10 on Mar 5, 2014 |
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Mar 5, 2014 03:00
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ThatBasqueGuy posted:That's it! Benny needs to write erotic fiction! When I used to talk to Benny on AIM he said he was going to do this. Something about working with a female friend of his to provide the sex information and he was going to stitch that together into a story.
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Mar 5, 2014 03:30
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Can we stop this td distraction? It's not helping.
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Mar 5, 2014 03:36
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Darth123123 posted:Can we stop this td distraction? It's not helping. As if anything else did?
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Mar 5, 2014 03:46
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Darth123123 posted:Can we stop this td distraction? It's not helping. It's helping exactly as much as volunteering for poo poo does. At least this way everyone else gets entertainment out of it, instead of "I volunteered for X, first day Monday" -> "I get along great with my boss" -> 6 months of never mentioning it -> "Oh yeah they kicked me out for smacking a kid with a ladle 5 months ago" when someone brings it up again.
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Mar 5, 2014 04:00
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ThatBasqueGuy posted:That's it! Benny needs to write erotic fiction! Relevant GBS thread going on right now: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3613011
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Mar 5, 2014 04:09
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I think Thunderdome is a good demonstration of Benny's "work output." We can hear his stories about how well he does at a cart pushing job, but we have to trust what he says. With his writing and Thunderdome, we hear him say he wants to be a writer, then we see his writing for what it is. It has convinced me that he is lazy and doesn't give a poo poo about his life.
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Mar 5, 2014 04:16
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Whatever happened to the OKC megathread? Was there too much internet detective poo poo going on?
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Mar 5, 2014 04:23
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systran posted:I think Thunderdome is a good demonstration of Benny's "work output." We can hear his stories about how well he does at a cart pushing job, but we have to trust what he says. With his writing and Thunderdome, we hear him say he wants to be a writer, then we see his writing for what it is. Easy to not give a poo poo about your life when you can live with your parents and just close your laptop screen when your mom walks in on you watching Basic Instinct with your hand down your pants.
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Mar 5, 2014 04:24
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Starter Wiggin posted:Benny, any volunteering prospects on the horizon? No need to lie about this. Also, I have a phone interview at the end of the week. You'll wont believe who it is, and I don't blame you: it's Target. It's a different location, though. As far as I'm concerned, I'm persona non grata with the location I worked at. They know about me being fired: I put down on the application that I worked at Target before. So I have that going against me. But, I've managed to practice what to say when an interviewer brings up why I was fired: "I was fired for not following company policy. I had an incident, and I didn't report it. I'm not proud of it and I accept full responsibility for what happened. But what I learned from it was that being part of a team means not being afraid to ask for help." That's what I'm going to tell the HR rep over the phone, and hopefully I might get an in-person interview. Fingers crossed. Oh and, yes, it's for parking lot. I know, I know: I was a lousy cart attendant. But this time, I've actually learned from my mistakes and I'm on medication so I won't let my paranoia gently caress me over. Besides, it's the only position open at this time. Parking lot has the highest turnover by nature. If I do end up getting back into Target, I'm going to be on my extra-best behavior with them. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 04:54 on Mar 5, 2014 |
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Mar 5, 2014 04:49
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Benny the Snake posted:Oh and, yes, it's for parking lot. I know, I know: I was a lousy cart attendant. But this time, I've actually learned from my mistakes and I'm on medication so I won't let my paranoia gently caress me over. Besides, it was the only position open. Parking lot has the highest turnover by nature. If I do end up getting back into Target, I'm going to be on my extra-best behavior with them. It's not that I don't believe you, but I just want to have this quoted just in case.
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Mar 5, 2014 04:54
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^^^^ we'd better quote the whole drat thing.Benny the Snake posted:Well I went back to the library and they're going to sign me up as a page working at the bookstore. So I'll be sorting books and selling them. I've been a library page before and I had fun. I a little compulsive when it comes to books: I'm constantly arranging them when I'm browsing through them in a library. I haven't heard from City of Chino yet or my candidate, but I'm sure I'll hear from one or the other.
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Mar 5, 2014 04:55
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Benny the Snake posted:I a little compulsive when it comes to books: I'm constantly arranging them when I'm browsing through them in a library. You... You do realize that there is a system for book organization and that they don't just stick them back on the shelf as they please... Right?
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Mar 5, 2014 04:58
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Benny the Snake posted:I a little compulsive when it comes to books I don't believe you. *lights a cigarette* Given how many things you've told us you were good, skilled, or "a natural" at that ended up being total bullshit, I don't know why this would be any different.
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Mar 5, 2014 05:05
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That drat Satyr posted:You... You do realize that there is a system for book organization and that they don't just stick them back on the shelf as they please... Right?
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Mar 5, 2014 05:06
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Five colons in the same post, three of them in the same nested paragraph. I can't wait for library antics. The episode where Benny meets a cool brainy chick and she wins him over by passing his unsolicited literature quiz is going to be great.
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Mar 5, 2014 05:06
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(9:39:23 PM) Benny: see originally i wanted to set in in a coal mine in west virginia but that would be a little cliche hahahaha
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Mar 5, 2014 05:23
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laplace posted:Five colons in the same post, three of them in the same nested paragraph. And the writing blows out of his colon. It all makes sense now.
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Mar 5, 2014 05:28
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Benny the Snake posted:Well I went back to the library and they're going to sign me up as a page working at the bookstore. So I'll be sorting books and selling them. I've been a library page before and I had fun. I a little compulsive when it comes to books: I'm constantly arranging them when I'm browsing through them in a library. I haven't heard from City of Chino yet or my candidate, but I'm sure I'll hear from one or the other. So if you don't get this job, you're going to blame the HR rep? And just what the hell is your extra-best behaviour? This sounds like something you tell your school teacher after being told off for lighting the gym locker rooms on fire. "I PROMISE, MR STENNING, I'LL BE ON MY EXTRA-BEST BEHAVIOUR! I WON'T DO IT AGAIN!". Good luck, because loving hell you need it.
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Mar 5, 2014 05:28
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CrazyTolradi posted:So if you don't get this job, you're going to blame the HR rep?
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Mar 5, 2014 05:29
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Benny feeds this thread what it needs, not SA.
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Mar 5, 2014 05:35
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Benny the Snake posted:No, I'll just stop applying at Target. I hope this is a long con: otherwise; you are the most: pathetic; person :;: I have come across on the :-;-:: Internet. (Excuse my grammar mistakes, I wasn't really trying on this post)
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Mar 5, 2014 05:36
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something clever posted:I hope this is a long con: otherwise; you are the most: pathetic; person :;: I have come across on the :-;-:: Internet. It isn't your fault, the four people you had proofread it before you posted didn't get back to you.
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Mar 5, 2014 05:40
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Benny the Snake posted:Yeah, I meant that when I browse through books at a library, if I find one out of order based on the Dewey decimal system, I'll re-arrange it. Of course, in typical Benny fashion, he only does this in places that use the Library of Congress system.
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Mar 5, 2014 05:43
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CrazyTolradi posted:It isn't your fault, the four people you had proofread it before you posted didn't get back to you. Hey uh I actuall did proofread that post for something clever. I told him about the colons. I don't know what he was thinking.
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Mar 5, 2014 05:45
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I also hope this is a long con, Benny, otherwise you must be a glutton for punishment. This poo poo goes beyond tough love, man...I think most people have since stopped trying to help you and moved on to making fun of you, and you keep coming back for more.
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Mar 5, 2014 05:46
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life is killing me posted:I also hope this is a long con, Benny, otherwise you must be a glutton for punishment. It grows organically. As the thread continues, more people come with legitimate advice, then gradually turn jaded and unsympathetic. I'm pretty sure when Benny reads the thread, he just sees walls of "Jerk Detected" over and over again.
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Mar 5, 2014 06:02
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life is killing me posted:I also hope this is a long con, Benny, otherwise you must be a glutton for punishment.
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Mar 5, 2014 06:04
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Benny the Snake posted:What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger. Besides, I have to see this thread through and become a success. I want to be an E/N success story. After 109 pages, I'd say that train has left the station. e: And over a goddamn year later.
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Mar 5, 2014 06:08
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Benny the Snake posted:What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger. Besides, I have to see this thread through and become a success. I want to be an E/N success story. You had that chance, a year ago. You've done literally everything possible to go in the opposite direction since. Like I said, there is nothing really motivating you to do anything since there's no longer a real threat to your lifestyle. As long as you are able to be secure in your lifestyle, you won't change poo poo.
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Mar 5, 2014 06:12
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life is killing me posted:After 109 pages, I'd say that train has left the station. CrazyTolradi posted:You had that chance, a year ago. You've done literally everything possible to go in the opposite direction since. Goals stated to peers have something like an 88% chance of being followed through on, compared to something like 30% of people who don't announce goals or make to do lists. Of course that's usually concrete goals with defined endpoints, so Benny, if you actually want to succeed you might want to make some defined goals that you actually try to accomplish. Unlike the "job by February or bust" that you didn't do. (I don't know why I bother, it's advice, and the only posts he replies to are ones where he can come up with a defensive bullshit justification as to why he didn't do what the post is saying)
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Mar 5, 2014 06:33
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Love how Benny never tried to cover up the lie about how only one person proofread his story. Looks like that ship has sailed.
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Mar 5, 2014 06:38
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Remember that one kid in gradeschool that would follow you and your friends around with a dumb smile no matter how many times you told them to gently caress off. And you eventually had to shove them into a ditch and they still didn't get the message. And pretty soon you're just wailing on their stupid face and you still can't drive it into their skull. And you eventually realize with horror they will never get it. They are destined to wander through life completely oblivious to how loving stupid and useless they are. Their vacant, bovine eyes and slack grins will endure for eternity. And for every genius and luminary whose limitless contributions to society are cut short by cruel fate or self-destruction, an endless tide of Bennies will endure, their lives fulfilled by the successful operation of a shopping cart. Al Nipper fucked around with this message at 07:05 on Mar 5, 2014 |
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Mar 5, 2014 07:02
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Ursine Asylum posted:(I don't know why I bother, it's advice, and the only posts he replies to are ones where he can come up with a defensive bullshit justification as to why he didn't do what the post is saying) In Bennyworld, it isn't real if he just pushes it to one side in his mind and pretends it just doesn't exist. That or it's just that when encountering such alien concepts, he just cannot comprehend it and moves on, assuming it's gibberish.
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Mar 5, 2014 07:10
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Benny the Snake posted:What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger. Besides, I have to see this thread through and become a success. I want to be an E/N success story. This is amazing. Benny, you are amazing. I love this loving thread.
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Mar 5, 2014 07:59
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Benny the Snake posted:But this time, I've actually learned from my mistakes and I'm on medication so I won't let my paranoia gently caress me over. Besides, it's the only position open at this time. Parking lot has the highest turnover by nature. If I do end up getting back into Target, I'm going to be on my extra-best behavior with them. Back up a moment. You're on medication, but medication alone is rarely enough to help manage mental health issues. What goals are you currently working towards in therapy and are you applying yourself to those or half-assing it?
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Mar 5, 2014 08:11
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BENNY WHY DID YOU LIE ABOUT HAVING YOUR STORY PROOFREAD BY ONLY ONE PERSON? PLEASE RESPOND
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Mar 5, 2014 10:01
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systran posted:I think Thunderdome is a good demonstration of Benny's "work output." We can hear his stories about how well he does at a cart pushing job, but we have to trust what he says. With his writing and Thunderdome, we hear him say he wants to be a writer, then we see his writing for what it is. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3531379&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=2#post412074647 Man, I called that on the second page over a year ago.
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Mar 5, 2014 12:42
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Benny, serious question here, what do you want in life? Like assuming you somehow got a book deal because some publisher wanted to share stories written by a retarded sex offender or whatever your deal is, so you actually had money to not mooch off your parents any more, what happens next? Or does your fantasy just end with "wow im a writer with my own tvtropes page and everything"?
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Mar 5, 2014 14:06
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