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ElGroucho
Nov 1, 2005

We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane
Fun Shoe

Sweevo posted:

My friend is a bit like this. I was helping him fix his car at the weekend and we needed to look up something. There are usually pretty good guides out there for most things - especially on model-specific forums. He went into the house for 40 minutes and then came back out and said he didn't find anything. I went in, typed "<make> <model> <part> replacement" into Google and the first result is a forum post with full removal and reassembly instructions, and about 50 photos. I have no idea what he was searching for.

I have to believe these guys just went inside to look at porn.

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

RangerAce posted:

Pissing me off today: The endless stream of dipshits coming to ask me questions that I don't know the answer to, but end up solving with 30 seconds of googling. You couldn't loving google it yourself?

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=google

I was the google SME at one job until I gut sick of it and responded to all asks with a link to lmgtfy.com

I continued to respond to those queries with lmgtfy until they got the point.

It took a while.

Lum
Aug 13, 2003


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2FMqtC1x9Y

RangerAce
Feb 25, 2014

Rhymenoserous posted:

Google's gotten pretty good at this to be honest. I got better results out of "Why is my windows 2008 VM on ESX constantly dropping connections" than I did "ESX Windows 2008 VM connection drop". Apparently the word "Constantly" was required.

The latest big change to Google's search algorithms included better natural language support, so that kind of makes sense.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Caged posted:

"Oh gee I guess I'm out of my depth trying to deal with this. It's probably best if you talk to the ISP directly"

Then go and do something worthwhile.

We're still talking about this.

"I'm pretty sure our upload is capped on the new internet circuit."

I fired up a couple sftp uploads and let it run for a bit, then showed him this graph and said it's not (Inbound is us going out, it's a 10mb line)



quote:

The reason I keep asking is because the best I was seeing was just above 6. However, when we were on Qwest and I ran speed tests, we would get real close to the 3mb cap on speedtest (this was a dual T1 setup). Now since we on a new IP I can barely get about 6 and that doesn’t make sense. Other carrier which we were pegged out on I could still hit almost full upload, now on US Signal I can barely get ½ the supposed capacity.

Seeing as nothing else changed, seems to not make sense to me.

Verdugo
Jan 5, 2009


Lipstick Apathy

Bob Morales posted:

We're still talking about this.

"I'm pretty sure our upload is capped on the new internet circuit."

I fired up a couple sftp uploads and let it run for a bit, then showed him this graph and said it's not (Inbound is us going out, it's a 10mb line)



What is this guy uploading that he needs the full 8-10mb upload? Talk about wasting time on a non-critical task.

Wait, it's a boss, so it's slow youtube/liveleak/netflix streaming.

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


Probably sits in the office, mashes Speedtest, summons Bob Morales to explain his findings.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Verdugo posted:

What is this guy uploading that he needs the full 8-10mb upload? Talk about wasting time on a non-critical task.

Wait, it's a boss, so it's slow youtube/liveleak/netflix streaming.

Just running Speedtests because he's a monkey

Edit: beaten

Verdugo
Jan 5, 2009


Lipstick Apathy

Bob Morales posted:

Just running Speedtests because he's a monkey

Edit: beaten

Wow. Talk about a colossal waste of time and resources.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

THE SWEET SWEET IRONY OF THE EMAIL MICROSOFT SENT US TO ENROLL IN ONE OF THEIR ANTI-SPAM PROGRAMS GETTING CAUGHT IN OUR lovely SPAM FILTER

dennyk
Jan 2, 2005

Cheese-Buyer's Remorse

topenga posted:

My boyfriend will do this. He claims that I know how to Google better than he does. And I think it's true. I watched him search for stuff once. He does it...wrong. He's either way too specific or he uses the wrong words or something. Error in whatever game he's playing? He will swear he searched for an hour and can't find anything. I do one quick "battlefield crashes to desktop" (Because holy poo poo, that's what's happening. How can you not just type that?) and BAM a bazillion hits and a solution.

I think we IT geeks sometimes forget that troubleshooting an issue and being able to break it down into keywords that will yield relevant search results, not to mention being able to glance through those results and quickly identify which are going to be useful and which are worthless, is a skill, and like any skill it requires a little aptitude and a lot of practice. If our careers and/or hobbies didn't require us to google unfamiliar stuff on a regular basis, we'd all probably be flailing around searching for "my cpu doesnt work halp" and clicking on all the spam and expertsexchange links too.

Che Delilas
Nov 23, 2009
FREE TIBET WEED

dennyk posted:

I think we IT geeks sometimes forget that troubleshooting an issue and being able to break it down into keywords that will yield relevant search results, not to mention being able to glance through those results and quickly identify which are going to be useful and which are worthless, is a skill, and like any skill it requires a little aptitude and a lot of practice. If our careers and/or hobbies didn't require us to google unfamiliar stuff on a regular basis, we'd all probably be flailing around searching for "my cpu doesnt work halp" and clicking on all the spam and expertsexchange links too.

Yeah, honestly the reason we get so fed up is that it's because these skills are so ingrained in us that it feels completely natural and obvious. Most users haven't learned all the tricks that we know (and often don't even consider tricks anymore).

You have to remember that a whole lot of people use computers essentially at gunpoint. They learn how to do exactly one thing at a time by rote memorization because they need to for their jobs, and they don't stop to think about how that procedure can be generalized into a strategy they can apply to similar tasks. They don't stop to think about it because they get intimidated by the power and potential of computers, so much that it paralyzes them. And because they learned their procedures by rote, the instant anything different happens, they go into vapor lock. Even if there's an obvious error message that tells them exactly what to do, they're already panicking because something different happened.

The breaking down into keywords thing is a really important thing we do basically unconsciously. We compile the name of the program, what we were doing in that program, our operating system version, and what the symptoms are, all in our own head and it happens nearly instantly. We can then type that poo poo almost verbatim into google if we need to, and it'll be the right thing because we already know the information we just auto-compiled is what google needs to give us good results. Basic users just don't do that, all they can comprehend is, "I think I did the thing I usually do to accomplish this task but something different is happening and there's a box with an exclamation point and it beeped at me and oh god!" Everyone here knows as well as I do that a lot of these people don't even know the correct names of the programs they use.

SubjectVerbObject
Jul 27, 2009
I am getting to be a broken record about my job, but I just got my annual review. It was the best one I ever had, for any job. They love me, my customers love me. Sunshine and lollipops. 2.5% raise. I am not even pretending that the booze I am drinking is any sort of quality.

Daylen Drazzi
Mar 10, 2007

Why do I root for Notre Dame? Because I like pain, and disappointment, and anguish. Notre Dame Football has destroyed more dreams than the Irish Potato Famine, and that is the kind of suffering I can get behind.

SubjectVerbObject posted:

I am getting to be a broken record about my job, but I just got my annual review. It was the best one I ever had, for any job. They love me, my customers love me. Sunshine and lollipops. 2.5% raise. I am not even pretending that the booze I am drinking is any sort of quality.

This raise you speak of - what is the meaning of that foreign object?

Che Delilas
Nov 23, 2009
FREE TIBET WEED

Daylen Drazzi posted:

This raise you speak of - what is the meaning of that foreign object?

That's what you get when you change companies.

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009

Che Delilas posted:

That's what you get when you change companies.

I have also heard that this is the same thing as a bonus as well. :v:

Bokito
Jul 25, 2007
Going Ape

SubjectVerbObject posted:

I am getting to be a broken record about my job, but I just got my annual review. It was the best one I ever had, for any job. They love me, my customers love me. Sunshine and lollipops. 2.5% raise. I am not even pretending that the booze I am drinking is any sort of quality.

I had the same annual review for a couple of years, minus the raise. The owner had the opinion that if you continued to do the same job with the same responsibilities you didn't deserve a raise. Didn't matter how good or bad you were at your job. Inflation be damned too, so you basically made a few percent less every year.

Naturally the company price list was corrected for inflation every year (and some more). Gotta pay for that new Audi every year somehow!

Let's just say that the staff turnover and rate of sick leave were through the roof there.

Bokito fucked around with this message at 09:38 on Mar 5, 2014

Westie
May 30, 2013



Baboon Simulator
So I'm having yet more problems with that amazing service that is Amazon.

Usually, when you have a bunch of XSDs, you would expect them to have some decent validation data - if X is supplied, then Y is must be within these valid constraints, which, as far as I recall, is possible.

This, however, is what I'm dealt with:

XML code:
<?xml version="1.0"?>
<xsd:schema xmlns:xsd="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema" elementFormDefault="qualified">
    <xsd:include schemaLocation="amzn-base.xsd"/>
    <xsd:element name="OrderFulfillment">
        <xsd:complexType>
            <xsd:sequence>
                <xsd:choice>
                    <xsd:element ref="AmazonOrderID"/>
                    <xsd:element ref="MerchantOrderID"/>
                </xsd:choice>
                <xsd:element name="MerchantFulfillmentID" type="IDNumber" minOccurs="0"/>
                <xsd:element name="FulfillmentDate" type="xsd:dateTime"/>
                <xsd:element name="FulfillmentData" minOccurs="0">
                    <xsd:complexType>
                        <xsd:sequence>
                            <xsd:choice>
                                <xsd:element ref="CarrierCode"/>
                                <xsd:element name="CarrierName" type="String"/>
                            </xsd:choice>
                            <xsd:element name="ShippingMethod" type="String" minOccurs="0"/>
                            <xsd:element name="ShipperTrackingNumber" type="String" minOccurs="0"/>
                        </xsd:sequence>
                    </xsd:complexType>
                </xsd:element>
                <xsd:element name="Item" minOccurs="0" maxOccurs="unbounded">
                    <xsd:complexType>
                        <xsd:sequence>
                            <xsd:choice>
                                <xsd:element ref="AmazonOrderItemCode"/>
                                <xsd:element ref="MerchantOrderItemID"/>
                            </xsd:choice>
                            <xsd:element name="MerchantFulfillmentItemID" type="IDNumber" minOccurs="0"/>
                            <xsd:element name="Quantity" type="xsd:positiveInteger" minOccurs="0"/>
                        </xsd:sequence>
                    </xsd:complexType>
                </xsd:element>
            </xsd:sequence>
        </xsd:complexType>
    </xsd:element>
</xsd:schema>
No other real documentation about what fields are required in which scenario.

Doesn't help matters much when all I get for an error is 'We are unable to process the XML feed because one or more items are invalid. Please re-submit the feed.' when it doesn't really point out what is invalid there. That's asking too much, right? :sigh:

Now to write a "nice" ticket to the friendly Amazon folks - at least I don't have to pay $75 for a ticket to talk to some person with a computer.

(This one topic is raising my blood pressure, lol)

canis minor
May 4, 2011

poo poo that pisses me off today:

:) I've changed this and it's not working
:3: Ok, let me replicate it. (comments bits of code). It's still not working.
:) Yes, because you need to change this, this and this.

What is wrong with you? Why wouldn't you just plainly say that.

:) I've added this [code] to this menu, and it's [not displaying properly] / [displaying properly, but due to some unique circumstances]. Can you fix it.

Of course, pasting random bits of code that do one thing in one place, and hoping they will magically work somewhere else is entirely reasonable.

dogstile
May 1, 2012

fucking clocks
how do they work?
loving helpdesk hell. I've just been told I need to stop helping customers with broadband issues, as there is a team for that. I need to stop helping customers in regards to training, as there are trainers available for that and I need to stop doing anything to do with the database, as there is a team for that.

Bearing in mind that they gave me instructions to do all of these things. Now I can literally go "oh yeah, i know what's wrong with that, let me pass you over" and hope someone from the other teams are available, because apparently knowing how to fix an issue at t1 of helpdesk isn't enough to be able to fix the loving problem. So now my day has gone from "fixing varied and interesting problems" to "Printers" "More printers" "My PC is slow, help!" and "how do I run this report". Wait, I can't even tell them the last one, because i'm apparently not a loving trainer.

*note, these fuckers sent me out to do a training session two weeks ago

Gumball Gumption
Jan 7, 2012

dogstile posted:

loving helpdesk hell. I've just been told I need to stop helping customers with broadband issues, as there is a team for that. I need to stop helping customers in regards to training, as there are trainers available for that and I need to stop doing anything to do with the database, as there is a team for that.

Bearing in mind that they gave me instructions to do all of these things. Now I can literally go "oh yeah, i know what's wrong with that, let me pass you over" and hope someone from the other teams are available, because apparently knowing how to fix an issue at t1 of helpdesk isn't enough to be able to fix the loving problem. So now my day has gone from "fixing varied and interesting problems" to "Printers" "More printers" "My PC is slow, help!" and "how do I run this report". Wait, I can't even tell them the last one, because i'm apparently not a loving trainer.

*note, these fuckers sent me out to do a training session two weeks ago

It sounds like your in a call center more then a help desk. Fun fact about those, your job is answering calls and then ending them, no one there really cares if any one gets helped. I recommend to do that, try to make friends with one of the other Teams if you can, and don't sweat it if your told to just take calls and stop helping. It sucks but you are best of using that energy towards finding a better job.

dogstile
May 1, 2012

fucking clocks
how do they work?

jim truds posted:

It sounds like your in a call center more then a help desk. Fun fact about those, your job is answering calls and then ending them, no one there really cares if any one gets helped. I recommend to do that, try to make friends with one of the other Teams if you can, and don't sweat it if your told to just take calls and stop helping. It sucks but you are best of using that energy towards finding a better job.

Well that was it, I was hired for a help desk role (6 months ago). This is a recent development and the reason I got this job so easily was because I had a fair bit of experience behind me. I've been looking for a way out for a while because the atmosphere was crap but I actually had stuff to do so it wasn't so bad. Looks like its about time to start doing the bare minimum because its not like these assholes were rewarding me for thinking.

Edit:

I just said "gently caress it" and asked my manager (again) if I could work on broadband issues if they're small things and I can get them done in a reasonable time. He wasn't going to go for it but the broadband team had my back on it because its less work for them. I swear it shouldn't be this hard to do work but hey ho! I'm doing broadband issues now!

dogstile fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Mar 5, 2014

Gumball Gumption
Jan 7, 2012

Yeah, I have been in a similar position for the last year. Started on help desk 2 years ago, lots of freedom and got to train a bunch with other groups. Then a few people left, more things fell into our lap, and we no longer have time to do anything besides pickup and put down phones. I stopped doing anything extra because it just got me more work and no rewards.

RangerAce
Feb 25, 2014

jim truds posted:

It sounds like your in a call center more then a help desk. Fun fact about those, your job is answering calls and then ending them, no one there really cares if any one gets helped. I recommend to do that, try to make friends with one of the other Teams if you can, and don't sweat it if your told to just take calls and stop helping. It sucks but you are best of using that energy towards finding a better job.

I was working in a call center for an Anti-Virus company in 2001. Our call center was getting about 1000 calls a day. 9/11 hits and our call volume drops to 250 calls a day and doesn't ever recover the rest of 2001. My Manager sits me down to talk about performance.

Manager: I've been noticing that your time on the phone has gone down the past few months.
Me: Yeah, because our call volume has gone way down, and there's a half-hour wait between calls. I'm pretty good at this virus removal thing so I can finish a call in like 10 minutes.
Manager: Well, the thing is we get paid by Anti-Virus Company by the minute. Derpface over there is able to stretch his calls out so he is on the phone all day.
Me: So, you're saying that because I'm more knowledgeable, and overall better at my job, I'm underperforming compared to Derpface who barely knows how to run regedit.exe.
Manager: Yeah.

I quit the next week after I got a job doing Win2k Professional support (which was downright dreamy).

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.
People who write Windows Server 2k12 or Office 2k10 or 2k13.

I understand that it's faster (but more annoying) to say "Windows two kay twelve" than "windows two thousand twelve" just like it's faster to say "dub dub dub dot company dot com" instead of "double you double you double you ..."

But literally substituting the letter k for the number zero is just dumb.

I'm reading a proposal for a new application that is going to require the deployment and custom configuration of about a hundred Server 2012R2 VMs and the author has used 2k12 about a million times in a six page brief. And now that the plate of shrimp syndrome has drawn my attention to it, it's all I can see.

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


Could be worse, it could be talking about Windows Server 2008/2010 or Exchange 2008/2010. Saw those on a job listing recently, ran away quickly.

Paladine_PSoT
Jan 2, 2010

If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it

Agrikk posted:

People who write Windows Server 2k12 or Office 2k10 or 2k13.

I understand that it's faster (but more annoying) to say "Windows two kay twelve" than "windows two thousand twelve" just like it's faster to say "dub dub dub dot company dot com" instead of "double you double you double you ..."

But literally substituting the letter k for the number zero is just dumb.

I'm reading a proposal for a new application that is going to require the deployment and custom configuration of about a hundred Server 2012R2 VMs and the author has used 2k12 about a million times in a six page brief. And now that the plate of shrimp syndrome has drawn my attention to it, it's all I can see.

Call it Windows Server 8 just to see them wtf about it.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Agrikk posted:

People who write Windows Server 2k12 or Office 2k10 or 2k13.

I understand that it's faster (but more annoying) to say "Windows two kay twelve" than "windows two thousand twelve" just like it's faster to say "dub dub dub dot company dot com" instead of "double you double you double you ..."

But literally substituting the letter k for the number zero is just dumb.

I'm reading a proposal for a new application that is going to require the deployment and custom configuration of about a hundred Server 2012R2 VMs and the author has used 2k12 about a million times in a six page brief. And now that the plate of shrimp syndrome has drawn my attention to it, it's all I can see.

Plate of shrimp syndrome?

Also:

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

sfwarlock posted:

Plate of shrimp syndrome?


plate of shrimp syndrome

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Time-wasting request of the day from my boss:

"See if you can find someone online that buys APC UPS battery sleds. They have to be worth something. They'll probably send us a shipping label and everything."

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


"Allow us to give you money and transport at no cost to yourselves a load of hazardous waste that we will have to pay to dispose of. This business model cannot fail!"

AlternateAccount
Apr 25, 2005
FYGM
There are places that will take them for free and even come to your site and pick them up, but I don't know about paying for them.

SyNack Sassimov
May 4, 2006

Let the robot win.
            --Captain James T. Vader


Bob Morales posted:

Time-wasting request of the day from my boss:

"See if you can find someone online that buys APC UPS battery sleds. They have to be worth something. They'll probably send us a shipping label and everything."

I gotta be honest, this is beginning to sound like Tony II.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Caged posted:

"Allow us to give you money and transport at no cost to yourselves a load of hazardous waste that we will have to pay to dispose of. This business model cannot fail!"

The genius part is we keep the batteries!

Inspector_666
Oct 7, 2003

benny with the good hair

Bob Morales posted:

The genius part is we keep the batteries!

I'm sure there are scrap metal dudes who will come pick you from you for free, and even pay you, but I also highly doubt you have enough battery sleds to make them not just laugh you off the phone.

Cenodoxus
Mar 29, 2012

while [[ true ]] ; do
    pour()
done


Bob Morales posted:

Time-wasting request of the day from my boss:

"See if you can find someone online that buys APC UPS battery sleds. They have to be worth something. They'll probably send us a shipping label and everything."

Yeah, you want the "We Buy Gold, Silver, Platinum, Used Jewelry, Old Coins, Fingernails, and APC Battery Sleds" store. There's probably one in your local strip mall.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Cenodoxus posted:

Yeah, you want the "We Buy Gold, Silver, Platinum, Used Jewelry, Old Coins, Fingernails, and APC Battery Sleds" store. There's probably one in your local strip mall.

No, his idea is we keep the batteries but we sell the sleds to some rich guy who buys sleds from people for big bucks, and then puts his own refurbished batteries in there or some poo poo and sells them to get richer.

It's the dumbest idea ever that's why I shared it with you dudes.

He bought a bunch of refurbed UPS batteries for the little 500va models that we hook desktops up to, and they sat in closet for like a year, and by the time helpdesk installed them in this pile of dead UPS's we had, the 'new' batteries were all dead. He was so pissed the guy on eBay wouldn't give him a refund a year after he bought them.

Inspector_666
Oct 7, 2003

benny with the good hair
Why the hell does he want to keep the dead batteries?

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009
Right now I have 7 alligator clips, a usb hub, three usb ports, and 3 channels on a power supply being used.

Why is this poo poo pissing me off? Because 6 of those alligator clips are used for testing a gps module. The GPS works fine as a ttyUSB0 device.


Solder the drat thing to the production board? It can't be talked to! Same voltages and everything! :suicide: I am pretty sure it's power sequencing, but gently caress, it should just... WORK.

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Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


I worked for a guy like your boss a while back, tried to do everything on the cheap, didn't have a grip on how the real world worked etc. Fortunately for me I had the option of just letting him get on with it.

You'd end up discussing moving archives and backups to Glacier or another off-site provider, and he'd decide that a used tape autoloader off eBay was the sure-fire way to reliably provide services (had a huge aversion to buying services off anyone, even if it cost less than buying physical stuff and did a better job). So when it arrived I just made it his problem, and kept it his problem. Backup job fails because the device isn't available? You can have the ticket. gently caress you.

When I left he was frantically trying to find reasons not to migrate from an on-site Exchange 2003 install running on one VM to Hosted Exchange which Microsoft were offering to us free because we were in education.

Thanks Ants fucked around with this message at 23:28 on Mar 5, 2014

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