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Retail Slave posted:What if the plane itself was the terrorist? It somehow became sentient, radicalized, and bent on destroying the West.
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Mar 15, 2014 14:25
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Retail Slave posted:What if the plane itself was the terrorist? It somehow became sentient, radicalized, and bent on destroying the West. This is likely what happened, unfortunately.
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Mar 15, 2014 14:27
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So on a scale of 1 to 10 - where 1 is "floppy like a soggy paper napkin", and 10 is "as rigid as Hanzo Steel" - how hard are the cocks of all the Tom Clancy conspiracy theorists right now?
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Mar 15, 2014 14:33
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Yivgev posted:my dad works at nintendo and he told me that they flew to an island with an active volcano and theres a secret base that looks like a skull built into the side of the volcano and the skull mouth opens and a runway comes out of it and they landed on that. There was jizz involved though right? Lady Galaga posted:I'm really surprised how quick the Malay government went to the pirated 777 theory so I still wanna stick to the Malaysia are trolling the world theory Or they're super incompetent and just want to go with whatever they think people will believe the easiest. Knight Corgi posted:It's almost impossible to hijack in the classical way (which is, get up from your seat, yell at people and storm into the cockpit) nowadays right?  What do you think this flight was in America? No one gives a poo poo about it outside America. Security is super lax. The shoe bomber came from outside the US flight. I"m pretty sure they still don't make you take your shoes off outside of the US. Retail Slave posted:What if the plane itself was the terrorist? It somehow became sentient, radicalized, and bent on destroying the West. It was fed up with the pilots trying to bang women in its cockpit.
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Mar 15, 2014 14:34
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Mr. Gibbycrumbles posted:So on a scale of 1 to 10 - where 1 is "floppy like a soggy paper napkin", and 10 is "as rigid as Hanzo Steel" - how hard are the cocks of all the Tom Clancy conspiracy theorists right now? lol if you think those kind of dudes can get it above like, a 3
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Mar 15, 2014 14:35
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Feranon posted:lol if you think those kind of dudes can get it above like, a 3 They've all got John Boehners going right now
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Mar 15, 2014 14:37
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Feranon posted:lol if you think those kind of dudes can get it above like, a 3 lmao good point
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Mar 15, 2014 14:38
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What the hell is a "ping" in this case? Does it say "hello this is Engine number 3453 doing my hourly check-in, going at 2550 rpm"? Or is it more like a bit or two they find in a database they pull from the satellite logs that's supposed to be there only if a check in was made?
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Mar 15, 2014 14:41
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Everything is a video game to you guys
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Mar 15, 2014 14:45
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Russell William Thorpe posted:What the hell is a "ping" in this case? Does it say "hello this is Engine number 3453 doing my hourly check-in, going at 2550 rpm"? Or is it more like a bit or two they find in a database they pull from the satellite logs that's supposed to be there only if a check in was made? Microsofts new search engine App.
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Mar 15, 2014 14:47
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Rick Deckard posted:Everything is a video game to you guys Welcome to Something Awful
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Mar 15, 2014 14:47
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Ok, I give up, is there a magazine I can turn upside-down to read the answer?
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Mar 15, 2014 14:59
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Al Borland posted:There was jizz involved though right? They don't make me take my shoes off in America either  PreCheck...Mate
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Mar 15, 2014 15:00
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it's not terrorists its aliens
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Mar 15, 2014 15:21
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doomisland posted:They don't make me take my shoes off in America either Are you white? albany academy posted:it's not terrorists its aliens Terrorist aliens from another dimension
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Mar 15, 2014 15:26
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Russell William Thorpe posted:Ok, I give up, is there a magazine I can turn upside-down to read the answer? you clearly did not fold the back cover correctly. you have to align the arrows.
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Mar 15, 2014 15:29
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Rick Deckard posted:Everything is a video game to you guys Yeah, well, you're a replicant.
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Mar 15, 2014 15:29
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Can we change the thread title now that we know for sure it hadn't crashed and has instead been hijacked by lizard people and the illuminati? Thanks
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Mar 15, 2014 15:36
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Flight 370 was hijacked by DB Cooper on the orders of Elvis so they could finally assassinate JFK (for real this time.) Oh, and Tupac was on board.
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Mar 15, 2014 15:41
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if I looking for plane him name is hopkin green MH370 P.S. I'll find my plane Who took my plane Who found my
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Mar 15, 2014 15:46
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Skipjack posted:There's no cell coverage over the ocean so the fact no one called home isn't particularly surprising. Likewise, turning on your GPS wouldn't do anything because it is a passive service; your phone looks for signals being broadcast by satellites. Without a cell signal there's no way of relaying your position to the rest of the world. Also, cell phone jammers are very effective and rather cheap. If this was a planned thing, just hide a couple of running cell phone jammers prior to takeoff along the length of the plane and now passengers are completely cut off from the outside world.
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Mar 15, 2014 15:47
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Retail Slave posted:Flight 370 was hijacked by DB Cooper on the orders of Elvis so they could finally assassinate JFK (for real this time.) but where does hitler fit in
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Mar 15, 2014 15:53
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Rocks posted:Can we change the thread title now that we know for sure it hadn't crashed and has instead been hijacked by lizard people and the illuminati? Thanks Malaysian Prime Minister, fresh from the presser: "You forgot that the pilot is actually Adolf Hitler and the copilot is Elvis Presley. See, Hitler had to wait all these years and he's pissed because he hasn't been able to burn or gas anyone for years, but when their Great Prophet gave them this mission he spent 18 years dedicating himself to getting a tan and looking like a muslim dude so he could get his kill on again. Only, when ol' Adolph goes to see the Great Profit to find out who his partner in prime-time-crime will be to fulfill his mission, he opens the door and BOOM it's Elvis. Turns out that while Elvis may have left the building, he never left this world and he's been in hiding this whole time, but that meant Elvis wasn't getting none except for Greta the Great Slam Whale who cleans the evil villain barracks and drat, man's a pussy hound, that poo poo slit's like throwing his Jailhouse Cock down a hallway, know what I'm saying? Adolph is super pissed, of course, he's ready to burn some jews but this horny old washed up cock rocker that's gonna help him steal the plane is more interested in trying to get chicks to come up and "play with his stick in the cock pit" and eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches than fulfilling the holy mission. Of course, the Wholly Profit didn't mention that he wasn't gonna get to burn a busload of jews, instead he was gonna get a planeload of pilgrims and painters. Elvis and Adolphis decide gently caress the mission, we're gonna go get us some Iranian Pussy, because I ran, I ran so far away, which was Elvis's idea and drat that man ain't funny." We're still waiting on the US to corroborate the information, and China recently released some fuzzy pictures of what could totally be a swastika somewhere in the 2400nm radius of MH370's last known position, but it's actually just a fuzzy piece of belly button lint that Prof. Ding A. Ling left in the camera housing on the satellite.
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Mar 15, 2014 15:54
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Feranon posted:but where does hitler fit in Anywhere he wants to! ... No, seriously, he nicknamed his dick the Third Reich (Second Coming) because it was three inches long and if he actually managed to get it in he'd be coming in a second.
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Mar 15, 2014 15:58
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WastedJoker posted:Imagine if it was hijacked and landed successfully.....what would they have done to those people. Viral marketing for a new luxury resort. They're probably having champagne brunch right now.
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Mar 15, 2014 16:08
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jscolon2.0 posted:Viral marketing for a new luxury resort. They're probably having champagne brunch right now. New summer movie. Plane goes missing. Calling it now crappy summer action movie.
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Mar 15, 2014 16:13
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Liam Neeson should be in that one lol.
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Mar 15, 2014 16:14
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WaryWarren posted:Liam Neeson should be in that one lol. Only if the plane is taken over by terrorist dire wolves.
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Mar 15, 2014 16:16
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Tibetan yetis threw boulders as it pass over the Himalayas and it crashed there
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Mar 15, 2014 16:27
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If after all this goose chase mystery and intrigue it turns out that the plane just simply crashed normally 20 km off the coast of Malaysia then they should just ban Malaysia from having airplanes.
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Mar 15, 2014 16:30
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Al-Saqr posted:If after all this goose chase mystery and intrigue it turns out that the plane just simply crashed normally 20 km off the coast of Malaysia then they should just ban Malaysia from having airplanes. Why is Malaysia even allowed to have a hand in this anymore, shouldn't it be left to the big boys now? There were like 175 Chinese citizens on board you'd think China would be like ok we're running this now
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Mar 15, 2014 16:32
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Al-Saqr posted:If after all this goose chase mystery and intrigue it turns out that the plane just simply crashed normally 20 km off the coast of Malaysia then they should just ban Malaysia from having airplanes. I say we put the people responsible for all this poo poo on a plane and reenact the crash.
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Mar 15, 2014 16:32
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Sinjang posted:
So has anyone checked antarctica yet?
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Mar 15, 2014 16:41
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has anybody said malaise airlines yet?
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Mar 15, 2014 17:05
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If anyone on that plane who isn't a hijacker turns up alive then they will be loving a millionaire from the book/movie/TV/cereal deal.
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Mar 15, 2014 17:08
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Pretty sure it was the flashbulbs. Seriously, how hard do you have to work at getting the 'perfect shot' of some dude talking at a podium?
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Mar 15, 2014 17:09
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:If anyone on that plane who isn't a hijacker turns up alive then they will be loving a millionaire from the book/movie/TV/cereal deal. They are all dead at the bottom of the ocean.
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Mar 15, 2014 17:14
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Obligatory Handle posted:They are all partying up a storm in Kyrgyzstan or the Himalayas. fixed that for you.
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Mar 15, 2014 17:24
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Al-Saqr posted:fixed that for you. They've probably resorted to cannibalism now. Wonder what Chinese people taste like.
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Mar 15, 2014 17:28
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WastedJoker posted:They've probably resorted to cannibalism now. Wonder what Chinese people taste like. Whats the point? You'll just get hungry a little bit later. I wonder if they ate the dead babbys first.
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Mar 15, 2014 17:33
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