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Masonity posted:Surely the biggest issue is the brief was "a ghost story where the living person didn't know the ghost when it was alive"? That was indeed the prompt.
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Mar 17, 2014 08:58
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Benny's amazing attention to detail strikes again.
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Mar 17, 2014 09:03
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sebmojo posted:That was indeed the prompt. If a friend would point a gun at you and pull the trigger, can you ever say you really knew him at all? 
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Mar 17, 2014 09:23
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Benny the Snake posted:The interview's tomorrow. Everything's tomorrow, isn't it Benny?
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Mar 17, 2014 12:17
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Benny have you considered faking a mental break? Like taking all your clothes off and screaming "they're gonna get me!! The illuminati is real!!" While running around your neighborhood? I heard impatient mental faclilities have pretty cool comics and good soup. You'll also have a pretty good excuse to not follow through with anything and never get a job. Plus then you'll be the taxpayers problem as opposed to your parents problem. Also you'll meet a lot of interesting people that you can populate your writing with. The guy who wrote one flew over the cuckoos nest based it off his time in a mental hospital.
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Mar 17, 2014 12:56
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Everything's tomorrow, isn't it Benny? He wouldn't reply if it wasn't, because "it's next week" means that people will get on him about all that crap about "doing things" between now and then. If it's not tomorrow, then he either lies about it or just ignores people asking him about it until it is.
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Mar 17, 2014 13:05
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Ursine Asylum posted:He wouldn't reply if it wasn't, because "it's next week" means that people will get on him about all that crap about "doing things" between now and then. If it's not tomorrow, then he either lies about it or just ignores people asking him about it until it is. Should we start a pool as to which reason he will give for tanking the interview?
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Mar 17, 2014 13:08
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vxskud posted:Should we start a pool as to which reason he will give for tanking the interview? Has he given any reasons before? He just says "I'm getting an interview", "Interview tomorrow", "Interview was today, I think I made a good impression", and it's never mentioned again. Even if he tanked it, it's not like he's going to say he did.
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Mar 17, 2014 13:16
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Ursine Asylum posted:Has he given any reasons before? He just says "I'm getting an interview", "Interview tomorrow", "Interview was today, I think I made a good impression", and it's never mentioned again. Even if he tanked it, it's not like he's going to say he did. You forgot the part where he assures us he's printed copies of his résumé, picked out an outfit/brushed his hair and shows up 3 hours early. Benny, I have a question about these job workshops. What do you think you are going to learn/find out about there that you haven't learned already? Are there other kids your age? The issue isn't "finding a job," it's figuring out social cues, and learning how to keep a job. That's called therapy. Also, why are you answering questions about Chuy, but not the Affordable Care Act? Or someone's question about a referral to Sears corporate?
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Mar 17, 2014 13:30
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He's full of poo poo, as always. Like 10 months ago he made all these posts about how he had to 'take care' of his student loans, and it was oh so complicated, and when people kept asking him to explain why it was complicated (because it's not) and why he wasn't simply asking to placed in forbearance because he was unemployed, he couldn't answer.
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Mar 17, 2014 13:41
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Magnus Gallant posted:impatient mental faclilities I think Benny might be too slow moving for that kind of place. They'd probably get fed up with him even faster than with their normal patients!
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Mar 17, 2014 14:44
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Everything's tomorrow, isn't it Benny? Mańana syndrome.
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Mar 17, 2014 15:02
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Benny, go to healthcare.gov and write us a report on applying for Obamacare as you do it. Consider it a technical writing challenge. Include step-by-step directions on how to do it and a little summary on how easy/difficult it was and what you'd consider changing/adding. Make sure you get mental health service benefits and write up how you managed to do so. You're literally unemployable, so work on fixing your brain. While a potential employer probably doesn't have access to this thread, I'm sure your incompetency can be detected by those with hiring experience. cname fucked around with this message at 15:26 on Mar 17, 2014 |
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Mar 17, 2014 15:03
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Benny the Snake posted:Mexicans like myself Finally, proof that Benny is, in fact, ESL.
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Mar 17, 2014 15:11
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cname posted:Benny, go to healthcare.gov and write us a report on applying for Obamacare as you do it. Consider it a technical writing challenge. Include step-by-step directions on how to do it and a little summary on how easy/difficult it was and what you'd consider changing/adding. Do it, Benny. Forget about the goddamn thunder dome stuff because it will be there later. Healthcare sign up closes in just over a week. Just go do it! Prove us wrong, be a success in this one, crucial step in functioning as an adult.
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Mar 17, 2014 16:50
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It just makes me giggle that you guys want to believe so much in him. It's just so cute. That said, Benny probably would benefit from inpatient mental health. If for no other reason than his excuses for not getting therapy/meds would be much, much flimsier. Hey Benny - you know there's sliding scale therapy, right? I mean, I'm just throwing that out there. You probably won't do anything with it, because I remember telling you this before, but maybe it'll help someone else in this thread! 
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Mar 17, 2014 16:57
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sebmojo posted:That was indeed the prompt. I'm still not entirely sure what the ghost in Benny's story was. Maybe it was meant to be Diego? In which case you're right, he missed the point of the prompt.
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Mar 17, 2014 16:57
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TrisIsPluto posted:It just makes me giggle that you guys want to believe so much in him. It's just so cute. I don't, I just want him to be as little of a burden on society as possible.
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Mar 17, 2014 17:04
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Also Benny why are all of your stories about weird, cartoonish young hispanic men who kill each other.
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Mar 17, 2014 17:22
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cname posted:I don't, I just want him to be as little of a burden on society as possible. He's already taking unemployment yet he's never worked for a long period of time. Honestly Benny, I know this sounds terrible, but have you thought about suicide? Though I imagine you'd find a way to gently caress that up and leave your family a million bucks in medical debt.
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Mar 17, 2014 17:50
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Lolie posted:Benny says that he hates his family with the exception of his little sister and considers them toxic. That's not something you generally hear people who've grown up feeling loved, valued and secure saying. Yeah this is a good point, and clearly Benny has brain problems that he needs to be seeing a professional about, but when he said he hated his family it was because his mom was going to throw away his comic books.
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Mar 17, 2014 18:20
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That drat Satyr posted:Finally, proof that Benny is, in fact, ESL. He's not. He would have mentioned it by now if he were.
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Mar 17, 2014 18:34
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Seven Hundred Bee posted:Also Benny why are all of your stories about weird, cartoonish young hispanic men who kill each other. Yeah I don't get his 'stories'. They're all A) a bunch of useless, poorly written dialogue that makes up 80% of the story followed by B) a sudden, violent murder. And why is it divided largely into one line sentences of dialogue? Are you writing a murder play? Yeesh.
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Mar 17, 2014 18:35
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Chaco stood crouching over a sewer grate, smoking a cigarette. James came up behind him. "Yo Holmes." Chaco replied without turning. "Sup ese." Two days later Chaco murdered his entire family.
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Mar 17, 2014 19:08
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Masonity posted:Surely the biggest issue is the brief was "a ghost story where the living person didn't know the ghost when it was alive"? Kaishai posted:your surviving characters cannot have known the ghost while it was alive. By the way, I called Sears this morning and finally got a hold of HR. She told me that they chose another candidate. I had a feeling it was that way after a week of not hearing from them.
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Mar 17, 2014 19:34
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Benny the Snake posted:Jesús dies at the end. So I did fall within the rules. Benny's Marginally Improving Writing posted:Jesús didn't say a word as he arrived at home. Eventually, his father went into his room. “Jesús, were you with Diego today?” Did dad die too?
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Mar 17, 2014 19:41
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So are you gonna get health insurance, today?
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Mar 17, 2014 19:43
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Benny the Snake posted:Actually the rule was... this is pretty indicative of your whole life. instead of doing the simple, straight-forward activity you actually need to, you think you can get ahead being clever. You fail, and then wonder went wrong. you didn't follow the rules, and not even in a clever "ha!" way. You failed four times at this thunderdome round (asking somebody to help, lying about getting help, not reading the prompt rules, and then not following your second set of rules). GET YOUR BRAIN FIXED
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Mar 17, 2014 19:46
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Benny run 2 miles a day everyday from now on. This won't solve all your current problems but its a start of doing something. (Run four miles on Fridays)
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Mar 17, 2014 19:50
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That's actually a fantastic idea. Benny, you should really consider doing Couch to 5k. It's a tiny commitment (half an hour a day, three days a week) and will literally change your life.
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Mar 17, 2014 19:57
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Seven Hundred Bee posted:Chaco stood crouching over a sewer grate, smoking a cigarette. I can't stop laughing at this. God Over Djinn posted:That's actually a fantastic idea. Benny, you should really consider doing Couch to 5k. It's a tiny commitment (half an hour a day, three days a week) and will literally change your life. This is a great idea but Benny's probably too busy.
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Mar 17, 2014 19:57
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Hey Benny, how did your tdome sub extoll the virtues of telling the truth and following the rules? Also Jésus knew Diego while he was alive. It's like you just wrote whatever the gently caress you wanted and then decided to submit it for kicks.
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Mar 17, 2014 20:12
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superv0zz posted:Yeah I don't get his 'stories'. They're all A) a bunch of useless, poorly written dialogue that makes up 80% of the story followed by B) a sudden, violent murder. Hey tonto, why are Agatha Christie's books all about solving some random crime? Why are Shyamaladingdong's movies all about some implausible twist at the end? It's called style, ese. And Benny's got it in spades, hombre. Chico, when he's the toast of Broadway with Benny the Snake's Songs in the Key of Mexican Murder, you'll see. TODO EL MUNDO VERÁ!
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Mar 17, 2014 20:16
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Fugue Stater posted:Hey tonto, why are Agatha Christie's books all about solving some random crime? Why are Shyamaladingdong's movies all about some implausible twist at the end? It's called style, ese. And Benny's got it in spades, hombre. Chico, when he's the toast of Broadway with Benny the Snake's Songs in the Key of Mexican Murder, you'll see. TODO EL MUNDO VERÁ! 7/10 needs more Holmes.
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Mar 17, 2014 20:22
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God Over Djinn posted:That's actually a fantastic idea. Benny, you should really consider doing Couch to 5k. It's a tiny commitment (half an hour a day, three days a week) and will literally change your life. I agree. Just put on some comfortable shoes and take a half an hour each day to go outside and aha. Ahaha. AHAHAHAHAHA! I know you mean well, but he refuses to do things that would require him to sit on his rear end and stare at the computer, like apply to jobs or sign up for the ACA or not be a lying sack of poo poo. I doubt he's going to leave his house to start walking or jogging anytime soon. All you'll get is "I have an appointment with my legs tomorrow"
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Mar 17, 2014 20:22
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Manic Mailman posted:Benny run 2 miles a day everyday from now on. This won't solve all your current problems but its a start of doing something. (Run four miles on Fridays) In three days, he'll be six miles from home without a change of clothes, though.
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Mar 17, 2014 20:29
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"I called my legs back this week. They went with another candidate. Should I apply for a new pair of legs?"
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Mar 17, 2014 20:29
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Starter Wiggin posted:Hey Benny, how did your tdome sub extoll the virtues of telling the truth and following the rules? Also Jésus knew Diego while he was alive. "Eh, it was going to be DQed anyway, so I didn't put in the extra time and attention. Besides, it was just getting posted on an internet forum."
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Mar 17, 2014 20:41
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Steampunk iPhone posted:Just dropping in to let y'all know that Benny's fetish is being an adult baby for a 50-60 year old woman. Well by. At least he has a backup plan.
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Mar 17, 2014 20:52
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Benny, for your next TD entry I propose this as a flash rule: you must prove that you are racially diverse and are not allowed to write any more stories featuring Hispanic characters or set in Hispanic locations. To prove that you are capable of writing about more than Hispanic origins, your next story must be about one of the following: A single working mother that is a first generation immigrant from China, Three brothers living in sub-Saharan Africa, or a Russian 'mail order bride' getting ready to meet her first marriage prospect from the Internet. You get bonus credit if you somehow manage to include all three of these subjects in the same story with more than a paragraph about each.
That Damn Satyr fucked around with this message at 01:51 on Mar 18, 2014 |
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Mar 17, 2014 21:06
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