totalnewbie posted:

In my Intro to Religion in America class, the very first day during her introduction, the professor started with "I am Dr. so-and-so. Not Ms., not Mrs., Dr. And you will address me as such."

As suspected, her lectures were completely uninteresting and uninformative and the only thing necessary to pass her class was to read the required materials. How much more blatantly can you compensate for your terrible sense of inadequacy than to introduce yourself by insisting on being called Dr.?

Lightning Jim posted:

I can't believe that's the beginning of a Ph.D. thesis. I would have failed out of college if I continued to write like that.

Discendo Vox posted:

Please, give a source when quoting. I'm working on my dissertation, and I need a model.

Discendo Vox posted:

Please, give a source when quoting. I'm working on my dissertation, and I need a model.

Cowslips Warren posted:

You knwo, it's been ten years since I had Dr. R as a biology professor, and only took 2 of his classes. And in the ten years since those classes, I've become his family's de factor nanny/babysitter, and his kids treat me like their aunt. But I still have the goddamn urge to call him Dr. R. I helped pottytrain his kids and have to bite back calling him Dr. R and just his first name.

Any cool Liberal Logic memes about Fred Phelps biting the big one?

E-Tank posted:

Not only that, he got excommunicated from his own goddamned church.

He passed on with basically none of his church coming to see him off, and hardly any of his family.

Neodymium posted:

Wait, someone finally destroyed Fred Phelps' phylactery?

MisterBadIdea posted:

People of all political stripes hated Fred Phelps, so I don't think a series devoted to hating liberals would find much fodder in his death.

E-Tank posted:

I'm fat, I'm fat and I have asthma that triggers on exercise so I basically have two choices, I can run for about 20 minutes and then pass out from lack of oxygen, or I can sit around and not lose the weight and in fact potentially gain weight. I have been stared at, I have been insulted for being fat, all because of a loving lovely rear end situation that is out of my control. Please forgive me for thinking that you thumbing your nose and ing it up here about how I'm trying to have my 'unhealthy lifestyle' left alone when I didn't have a loving choice in the matter can . You don't become an 'accidental smoker'. You don't become a smoker due to medical conditions. You become a smoker because you paid for a cigarette, smoked it in, felt your lungs burning, and said "I like this poo poo, I want to continue this poo poo."

LARD LORD posted:

I also have severe asthma and allergies but I managed to lose 1/3rd of my bodyweight (~105lbs) by eating right, lifting weights and doing some simple cardio that didn't trigger my asthma which basically went away after a while but you can continue to be a fat goonlord I guess

MisterBadIdea posted:

People of all political stripes hated Fred Phelps, so I don't think a series devoted to hating liberals would find much fodder in his death.

DarkHorse posted:

A "Ph.D" thesis.
Here you go! Thanks for the correction, no reason to stoop to his level

http://wlstorage.net/file/kent-hovind-doctoral-dissertation.pdf

downout posted:

"There has been no change in the genetic material of the rabbit."

"There has been no change in the genetic material of the rabbit."

downout posted:

"There has been no change in the genetic material of the rabbit."

"There has been no change in the genetic material of the rabbit."

Neodymium posted:

Wait, someone finally destroyed Fred Phelps' phylactery?

Deuce posted:

Horcrux.

DoctorWhat posted:

Phylacteries are cooler

DarkHorse posted:

A "Ph.D" thesis.
Here you go! Thanks for the correction, no reason to stoop to his level

http://wlstorage.net/file/kent-hovind-doctoral-dissertation.pdf

Vriess posted:

Everything sets him off, but this was the first time I have ever personally seen anyone defend the Koch Brothers.

Soonmot posted:

The email forward has evolved yet again! We've had the actual text of this posted in this thread, I know it.

http://blog.petflow.com/wow-if-you-were-born-in-the-60s-70s-or-80s-you-gotta-see-this/

Keshik posted:

I'm late to the party but I'm a history graduate student, and we all have to refer to our professors as Prof. Lastname and Prof. Yesreally, and every single one of the professors hates it, save for one, and he is the reason we are discouraged from speaking to all the other professors as they have said they would prefer; Julia, Steve, Bill, Anne, David, Scott, Jenni, and so on. He has jumped up peoples' asses when he has overheard them doing so to such an extent that everyone just goes with it.

Our graduate advisor is actually a staff position and not a faculty position. The girl in that job has her PhD in history from Harvard but because of the two-body problem works here as just part of the office staff. She does teach the odd class here and there because it would be stupid to waste a resource like her, but it's also totally cool to call her by her first name because she isn't actually a professor. Most of us at least refer to her by Dr. Lastname in emails because it feels like it is intended as a direct slight not to.

He is not the most senior in the department but he is the biggest busybody. He is on the faculty senate and over his career at the university and in the department has volunteered for as many different job responsibilities as he could and will not give them up to anyone now that he has them (which is part of why our department's web page never gets updated, because he refuses to share the password with anyone and considers updating the page to be his job). Most of the other roles in the department, like undergrad advisor and grad advisor and service on search committees and on admissions committees and such, those are all just rotated around from person to person within the department and the full professors rotate the department chair around every couple of years as well, usually to whomever is not finishing a book or something.

I have a feeling if he ever gets promoted up from Associate to full Professor, the moment he gets the department chairmanship he'll have it until he dies.

Some people really really really love titles and authority.

some goon posted:

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders

Vriess posted:

Cross-Posting from PYF.


I just want it to end. These guys are all friends of mine.





Rick, Will, Sue, and Bill are all veterans. Will joined the Marines, came back hosed up, and became a die-hard Conservative who trapped himself in the Bubble and has refused to come out for air. He lives and breathes the echo chamber.

Everything sets him off, but this was the first time I have ever personally seen anyone defend the Koch Brothers.

hamster_style posted:

After hearing about it in this thread many times throughout the years it finally showed up on my feed. Though I don't remember the original incarnation having a picture of a swole Marine accompanying it.



Goon reply that I saved from awhile back

muscles like this? posted:

The "atheist professor" story actually got turned into a movie which apparently came out in theaters starting today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMjo5f9eiX8

hamster_style posted:

EightBit posted:

Just show them the results of GIS'ing small pox and ask if they want to go back to having to worry about their children suffering like that.

Popular Thug Drink posted:

But you don't understand! I did my research! Of course that means I read some stuff on the internet until I was satisfied that I had been correct all along but still! I read stuff! How dare you judge me for reading a thing, on the internet?!

What I think I do: *huge pile of medical journals next to a steaming cup of coffee*

What I actually do: *a browser history full of infowars and naturalnews links*

Nenonen posted:

Some of you surely would love the relaxed German culture where you call docs as Herr/Frau Doktor and your boss as Herr Führer/Frau Führerin.

Actually I'm not sure if that is followed so strictly anymore, especially the latter...

EightBit posted:

Just show them the results of GIS'ing small pox and ask if they want to go back to having to worry about their children suffering like that.

Pedestrian Xing posted:

WHAT MY KIDS DO: http://youtu.be/S3oZrMGDMMw

hamster_style posted:

After hearing about it in this thread many times throughout the years it finally showed up on my feed. Though I don't remember the original incarnation having a picture of a swole Marine accompanying it.



Goon reply that I saved from awhile back

quote:

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.” The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God. I’m still waiting.” It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and lifted up his arm to strike him.

At that moment the professor was transformed into a 7-foot grizzly, wreathed in a halo of holy fire. The bear spoke: “Blasphemer thou art, thou thinkst to take the place of God? Those who deny me face eternal fire, but you who knows my work and yet commits the sin of Satan I curse a hundred times over!” The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently picking at his boils. Then Richard Dawkins burst into the room, wielding a copy of The Selfish Gene and crying “Leave that boy alone, you pathetic atavism!” As the holy bear whirled around, terrible light flashing in its eyes, Dawkins shed his mortal form, raised each of his seven horned heads, and hissed. “It’ssss me you want!” Then the Lord and the Antichrist joined in the final battle.

The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.