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Fungah!
Apr 30, 2011

Gortarius posted:

Don't think anyone has said a word about it since it was just announced on GDC from what I understand. Although, if its based on a digital distribution system and there isn't excessive porting problems and such then I don't see why not consider it. Now, it is a really new thing so we should probably wait for someone else to walk into the trap first just to see how painful it is.

In other news, check out this (temp grafix) example of the one of many optional teuflischen Rätsels that are pure tedium and what we estimate 94% of the playerbase to skip entirely:



There ain't no zaubers to bail you out of this one. In fact, I'm not even sure if there is enough info to solve it as is, because I am really incompetent at making these let alone solving them.


EDIT: The puzzle was built around the number 169527.

That number can't work because it has a nine in it and the puzzle explicitly forbids the number nine

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Gortarius
Jun 6, 2013

idiot

Fungah! posted:

That number can't work because it has a nine in it and the puzzle explicitly forbids the number nine

Ahahah, I just realized that. Now I wonder if I should leave it as is.

Ok well, scrap that second line then.

I'm very sorry.

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.
Have you considered enlisting a set of goons for puzzle-creation?

Node
May 20, 2001

KICKED IN THE COOTER
:dings:
Taco Defender

Fart of Presto posted:

If the third number is 6 then second number ends up being 4, and the fourth number is one less than the second number, which is 3 and that is not one of the valid numbers.

That's where I got too. _ 4 6 3 _ _ , but you can't have 3.

I think you fizzled a spell. It's understandable, being 3000 years old is getting to your senior years as a wizard.

Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



Node posted:

That's where I got too. _ 4 6 3 _ _ , but you can't have 3.

I think you fizzled a spell. It's understandable, being 3000 years old is getting to your senior years as a wizard.
The purpose of this puzzle must be to teach you to put your faith in Clispaeth, whose number was revealed in an audiolog some time before.

DeepQantas
Jan 13, 2008

Ah, to be a Hero... Keeping such company...
Just leave it in for the eventual nerd who will hack the game code to get to the locked content.

Gortarius
Jun 6, 2013

idiot

Discendo Vox posted:

Have you considered enlisting a set of goons for puzzle-creation?

I am profoundly powerful, but not that powerful. No, such decisions are made by my slave drivers.

PS. I replaced the picture now, and now you should be able to solve it proper. Or perhaps the picture was always there? Or maybe there is no picture. Who knows, maybe it was you who was wrong, goons, hmm?

DeepQantas posted:

Just leave it in for the eventual nerd who will hack the game code to get to the locked content.

You don't know how tempting this is.

Nessus posted:

The purpose of this puzzle must be to teach you to put your faith in Clispaeth, whose number was revealed in an audiolog some time before.

Because of this post I'm currently adding in a system to play audiologs. Not to create this event specifically, but to have audiologs in general. The potential application for these are... limitless.


EDIT X:

It has come to my knowledge that there seems to be two different solution to the puzzle:

2 6 9 5 4 8 or 1 6 9 5 2 7

Now, I don't know if I should add more lines to allow only one of these, or just leave it as is and add another check for the other solution so that people will argue over which is the proper solution on gameFAQ forums for years.

EDIT Z:

Oops, scrap that, I actually didn't gently caress up that one time.

Gortarius fucked around with this message at 09:42 on Mar 23, 2014

FalseShockWorker
Jan 28, 2009
The puzzle says there are only two even numbers, so I don't think your first spoiler is a valid answer.

Anonymous Robot
Jun 1, 2007

Lost his leg in Robo War I
That puzzle looks like trash. Keep up the good work, boys

mdct
Sep 2, 2011

Tingle tingle kooloo limpah.
These are my magic words.

Don't steal them.

Anonymous Robot posted:

That puzzle looks like trash. Keep up the good work, boys

Can you somehow work garbage into the puzzle? Like you're trying to figure out much tons of garbage there is on Necron 9 or something

AnonSpore
Jan 19, 2012

"I didn't see the part where he develops as a character so I guess he never developed as a character"
I'll accept that puzzle only if it's on a ten second timer and whatever's locked behind it is lost forever if you mess up. The only people who will have that item will be cheaters or huge nerds, and so you can shun them accordingly.

Gortarius
Jun 6, 2013

idiot

AnonSpore posted:

I'll accept that puzzle only if it's on a ten second timer and whatever's locked behind it is lost forever if you mess up. The only people who will have that item will be cheaters or huge nerds, and so you can shun them accordingly.

We have many "shaming traps" planned out for all the min/maxers, hackers, crackers and topfraggers.

Kersch
Aug 22, 2004
I like this internet
Will there be any pay-to-win functionality in the final release? And would those payments be tax deductible?

Gortarius
Jun 6, 2013

idiot
Special thanks to Nessus for sparking the idea for audiologs, the example audiolog was met with applause. I might just slip in a nessus.ogg file in there somewhere....

As for the pay-to-win issue, there will be a donation button hovering on the screen at all times, and if you donate, we will send a prayer at your direction. Thank you.

Holepunchio
May 31, 2011

Gortarius posted:

We have many "shaming traps" planned out for all the min/maxers, hackers, crackers and topfraggers.
Honestly I was kind of hoping the solution to that impossible puzzle was to go to DwarfFAQs where some other nerd found the solution. You telling me you're going to shame DwarfFAQ users? Maybe I don't have time to be all number thinking when their's mobs to cast dies at.

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin

Gortarius posted:

As for the pay-to-win issue, there will be a donation button hovering on the screen at all times, and if you donate, we will send a prayer at your direction. Thank you.

I'm totally picturing a little Donate button with angel wings that flies around... and can be shot and killed.

Holepunchio posted:

Honestly I was kind of hoping the solution to that impossible puzzle was to go to DwarfFAQs where some other nerd found the solution. You telling me you're going to shame DwarfFAQ users? Maybe I don't have time to be all number thinking when their's mobs to cast dies at.

There was a similar puzzle in Space Quest IV. You had to travel to the future to Space Quest X and buy a hintbook for Space Quest IV to find the time travel codes to visit Space Quest 1.

Dr. Arbitrary fucked around with this message at 22:27 on Mar 23, 2014

rodbeard
Jul 21, 2005

Please put out an actual pay to win DLC. Pay one dollar and there's an extra option in the menu to bring you to a screen that tells you you won and then exits to desktop.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

rodbeard posted:

Please put out an actual pay to win DLC. Pay one dollar and there's an extra option in the menu to bring you to a screen that tells you you won and then exits to desktop.

This, with an exclusive achievement.

Gortarius
Jun 6, 2013

idiot
There will be a pay-to-brick DLC, which bricks your game.

Zenzirouj
Jun 10, 2004

What about you, thread?
You got any tricks?
How about a pay-to-play DLC in which $20 dollars allows you to download and play the game. Exclusive only to computer owners.

Gortarius
Jun 6, 2013

idiot

Zenzirouj posted:

How about a pay-to-play DLC in which $20 dollars allows you to download and play the game. Exclusive only to computer owners.

This already exists but its an Ouya 2 exclusive DLC, so its not up to us, its up to the Ouya team.

Chef Boyardee
Oct 25, 2007

freindly

Unguided posted:

Whatever happened to Space Commander Frasier Crane? Haven't heard anything about that in ages, can't even remember who was working on it.

That was Drule, who did the vids for the original Barkley and some other smaller stuff in the game. I did music for it, but I don't think it ever went anywhere. This was like 2005.

Delusibeta posted:

:siren:CORPORATE ATTITUDE POST:siren:

Question for the developers: are you planning on talking with Sony on getting into bed with them Barkley 2 on consoles, considering they've announced that they're going to be officially supporting Game Maker games on PS3/Vita/PS4?
I kind of doubt it, but at PAX a bunch of Sony guys were real interested in talking with us. Who knows.

Gortarius posted:

Ahahah, I just realized that. Now I wonder if I should leave it as is.

Ok well, scrap that second line then.

I'm very sorry.
Nice going chump.

Kersch posted:

Will there be any pay-to-win functionality in the final release? And would those payments be tax deductible?
Microtransactions are the way to play. You can only talk to 1 NPC every 24 hours unless you pay for what we're currently calling "dialogue jewels".

rodbeard posted:

Please put out an actual pay to win DLC. Pay one dollar and there's an extra option in the menu to bring you to a screen that tells you you won and then exits to desktop.
We're actually thinking of doing the opposite. We've been talking about generating a code for $1 back if you beat the game, and then we send you a check.

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer
Please add some kind of in game app that shows the mood of a NPC you are talking to, much like the dragon tear in Breath of Fire 2.

I feel this would increase my emotional immersion at least 25%.

Lord Chumley
May 14, 2007

Embrace your destiny.
I can't get on Dwarfnet. :(

Zenzirouj
Jun 10, 2004

What about you, thread?
You got any tricks?

Chef Boyardee posted:

We're actually thinking of doing the opposite. We've been talking about generating a code for $1 back if you beat the game, and then we send you a check.

I don't want your filthy fiat money. I'll take Dunkoins, please.

Gortarius
Jun 6, 2013

idiot
I just discovered a fan made animation that portrays the origin stories of the Cyberdwarf and the Wizard:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5hH8_bp5gA


Besides the characters like young Cyberdwarf and the wizard, this also features other memorizable characters like the mysterious Sea Shogun, Satan and both the young and old Dark Seer from Dota2.


If you pay attention, you might hear the classic quote by Birdman at 1:16

"I smell like a flexer havin mah filth fordyo times the effect"

Heh, thats classic birdman.


For some bad boy biker action, skip to 5:20.

Wizard makes a brief appearance at 1:40.


This will be the art direction for the inevitable Barkley 3... D...

Schwarzwald
Jul 27, 2004

Don't Blink

Gortarius posted:

This will be the art direction for the inevitable Barkley 3... D...

Oh my god. Will there be Morpheus support??!

Liquid Dinosaur
Dec 16, 2011

by Smythe
My friend was at GDC last week. He played the demo and said it was fun, but he said that there was no wizard, what gives guys.

AnonSpore
Jan 19, 2012

"I didn't see the part where he develops as a character so I guess he never developed as a character"
Can't wait until Barkley 3 caves to CORPORATE ATTITUDE and is bought out by Facebook for 2 billion dollars

Super Rad
Feb 15, 2003
Sir Loin of Beef

AnonSpore posted:

Can't wait until Barkley 3 caves to CORPORATE ATTITUDE and is bought out by Facebook for 2 billion dollars

My kickstarter contribution technically makes me a shareholder right? RIGHT???

Lamhirh
Sep 8, 2012
I did not chip in ten dollars to seed a first investment round to build value for a Facebook acquisition!

FruitPunchSamurai
Oct 20, 2010

What happened to the quality piece of edutainment, Diary of Anne Frank? I remember it being on https://talesofgames.com before. Free the games!

Gortarius
Jun 6, 2013

idiot

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

My friend was at GDC last week. He played the demo and said it was fun, but he said that there was no wizard, what gives guys.

Unfortunately the filming of that beautiful animation took place at the same time so there was some conflicting schedules, and he couldn't make it.

Chef Boyardee
Oct 25, 2007

freindly

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

My friend was at GDC last week. He played the demo and said it was fun, but he said that there was no wizard, what gives guys.

We were part of the Indie Megabooth, not our own thing. We couldn't do something that would take up more space than a computer.

Cybershell
Jun 12, 2007

I hold all of you in the highest contempt

Chef Boyardee posted:

We were part of the Indie Megabooth, not our own thing. We couldn't do something that would take up more space than a computer.

Come on guys think outside the box. You could have given people who tried out Barkley 2 a "wizard ticket" and told them to "meet the old man in the parking lot to receive your destiny"

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin

Cybershell posted:

Come on guys think outside the box. You could have given people who tried out Barkley 2 a "wizard ticket" and told them to "meet the old man in the parking lot to receive your destiny"

Sounds legit to me!

Uncle Jam
Aug 20, 2005

Perfect
If the wizard is a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'.

We could never knock

Chef Boyardee
Oct 25, 2007

freindly

Uncle Jam posted:

If the wizard is a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'.

We could never knock

I got insanely drunk after a drinking contest at MAGFest (ps I won) and passed out in the wizard booth on a Cyberdwarf pillow. MAGFest doesn't close and our booth was in the arcade room so I woke up at like 5:00 AM and stumbled out of the booth and there were like 500 people all around playing arcade games. I had a massive hangover and the rest of that day sucked.

Anyway, if the wizard is a-rockin', don't go in the booth because there's a chance I'm passed out drunk inside.

Optimus Subprime
Mar 26, 2005

Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have guns, why should we let them have ideas?

Chef Boyardee posted:

I got insanely drunk after a drinking contest at MAGFest (ps I won) and passed out in the wizard booth on a Cyberdwarf pillow. MAGFest doesn't close and our booth was in the arcade room so I woke up at like 5:00 AM and stumbled out of the booth and there were like 500 people all around playing arcade games. I had a massive hangover and the rest of that day sucked.

Anyway, if the wizard is a-rockin', don't go in the booth because there's a chance I'm passed out drunk inside.

The realest of wizards. I had a good feeling about giving you money.

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Schwarzwald
Jul 27, 2004

Don't Blink
Each new piece of information reaffirms my faith in ToG.

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