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If Benny writes a best seller, he should be made mod of Thunderdome.
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Mar 25, 2014 22:37
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There are a number of more likely things to occur than Benny publishing anything in anyway, such as Benny getting a job or a girlfriend. Not much more likely, I'll grant you, but still fractionally so.
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Mar 25, 2014 23:57
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I'm reminded of the King of the Hill Episode where Peggy becomes a famous artist because her agent represented her as mentally challenged without her knowing. Someone could make a lot of money off Benny.
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Mar 26, 2014 00:56
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Colorfinger posted:
This needs to be on the new page. If a Benny sitcom or reality show ever gets put together, I think we found the theme song. How's the library going, Benny? I think we'll forgive you for neglecting your thread if you've been seducing the hot chica behind the reference desk.
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Mar 26, 2014 01:18
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God that lament is so loving awesome.
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Mar 26, 2014 01:21
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I recorded this, I hope you don't mind. http://www.colorfinger.net/stuffo/bennysLament.mp3 [/quote] Good Job Color Flinger
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Mar 26, 2014 05:05
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Colorfinger has done an incredible job with Benny's Lament. I hate it when websites automatically play music when you visit them, but I think it would be fantastic if Benny's Lament played when folks clicked on THIS thread.
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Mar 26, 2014 13:46
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Benny, how did your Target interview go? Have you signed up for healthcare? TURN AND FACE US, COWARD
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Mar 26, 2014 15:37
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I actually read the first 10 or so pages of this thread now. Ugh.
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Mar 26, 2014 18:38
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Colorfinger posted:I actually read the first 10 or so pages of this thread now. colorfinger don't do it
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Mar 26, 2014 18:48
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Colorfinger posted:I actually read the first 10 or so pages of this thread now. Nice tune Colorfinger. How do you majestically sing "Searching for diaper porn" without cracking up?
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Mar 26, 2014 19:21
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Only ten more songs and my dreams of "E/N The Musical" can finally be realized.
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Mar 26, 2014 23:56
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Doc Hawkins posted:Only ten more songs and my dreams of "E/N The Musical" can finally be realized. As a sequel I am working on another adaptation from Les Miserables. It is tough going though. I wasn't entirely happy with the last one but Colorfinger did very well with it.
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Mar 27, 2014 00:28
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Xenocides posted:As a sequel I am working on another adaptation from Les Miserables. It is tough going though. I wasn't entirely happy with the last one but Colorfinger did very well with it. if you rewrite more songs from Les Mis for Benny / other E/N people I will sing them, and I'll get my wife dAPER to do any duet parts too
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Mar 27, 2014 01:07
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Welp, now to adapt lovely ladies to E/N I guess.
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Mar 27, 2014 02:18
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Turtlicious posted:Welp, now to adapt lovely ladies to E/N I guess. Go with the fetish: Lovely Babies.
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Mar 27, 2014 04:04
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quote:...phantom dreams of teaching... 
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Mar 27, 2014 04:17
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I love you guys. That is all.
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Mar 27, 2014 11:52
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Colorfinger posted:if you rewrite more songs from Les Mis for Benny / other E/N people I will sing them, and I'll get my wife dAPER to do any duet parts too I could get on board with this.
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Mar 27, 2014 11:56
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Thank you, Colorfinger.
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Mar 27, 2014 18:11
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I was wondering why some 80+ posts popped up overnight. I was hoping for a Benny update about the latest Olive Garden interview... but then:Colorfinger posted:
I know empty-quoting is frowned upon, but really, nothing can be said to do this justice. 
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Mar 27, 2014 18:49
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I know this isn't as cool as colorfinger's contribution, but I think I found Benny's resume submission process. 
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Mar 27, 2014 21:44
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Now I'm wondering whether, on the days Benny "applied" to a dozen jobs, he just sent one email with all the hiring managers' emails in one long CC: list and his resume attached.
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Mar 27, 2014 21:52
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DopeGhoti posted:Now I'm wondering whether, on the days Benny "applied" to a dozen jobs, he just sent one email with all the hiring managers' emails in one long CC: list and his resume attached. The content of the E-Mail and title: plz hire me
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Mar 27, 2014 21:55
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Sotar posted:The content of the E-Mail and title: plz hire me And then he somehow messes up and there's no return address. Because Benny is just that magical.
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Mar 27, 2014 23:01
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Didn't several posters literally offer Benny jobs.
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Mar 27, 2014 23:26
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Maybe the Depends factory has an opening.
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Mar 28, 2014 00:19
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Do you Hear the Posters Gripe? (Do you hear the people sing) Do you hear the posters gripe? Giving more advice again? It is the music of a people Who watched Benny fail again! When the tapping of your hands Echoes the banging of your heads While we wait for his life to start When tomorrow comes! Will you join our hopeless fight? Who will hope and stand with me? Beyond those comic books Is there success you long to see? Then he calls in drunk And loses his job again! Do you hear the posters gripe? Giving more advice again? It is the music of a people Who watched Benny fail again! When the tapping of your hands Echoes the banging of your heads While we wait for his life to start When tomorrow comes! Will you watch for oer a year As he applies yet again Carts will crash and trays will smash As you watch on and laugh again. Then watch on as he strives To live his diapered dream! Do you hear the posters gripe? Giving more advice again? It is the music of a people Who watched Benny fail again! When the tapping of your hands Echoes the banging of your heads While we wait for his life to start When tomorrow comes! ___________________________________ Not as good as the last one but I think it came out pretty good.
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Mar 28, 2014 00:56
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People keep mentioning Benny calling in hungover, but they leave out the best part--he wasn't going to be hungover at all. He just thought that would be the most fool-proof and professionally acceptable excuse for whatever mundane scheduling conflict he was anticipating. That was his cunning puppet-master plan. I know, I know, it's old news. Sometimes I come back to this thread though and it still blows my mind.
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Mar 28, 2014 01:25
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Seven Hundred Bee posted:Didn't several posters literally offer Benny jobs. Yes, and as someone who is actively looking for a job it makes me hate benny so much more. PEOPLE WERE/ARE HANDING YOU WORK YOU gently caress. Stupid diaper wearing rear end in a top hat.
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Mar 28, 2014 01:48
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Well, he got to keep his comics and is now a volunteer at the library so lets chalk this up as a success.
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Mar 28, 2014 03:00
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Aqua Bear posted:Thank you, Colorfinger.
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Mar 28, 2014 03:29
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Arian_Samurai posted:Well, he got to keep his comics and is now a volunteer at the library so lets chalk this up as a success. As much success as you can expect from Benny. Benny, this is as good as your life will get, make the most of it.
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Mar 28, 2014 05:18
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kizudarake posted:I know this isn't as cool as colorfinger's contribution, but I think I found Benny's resume submission process. Good stuff for sure at least!
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Mar 28, 2014 06:18
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Somebody please make actual Benny comics.
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Mar 28, 2014 15:05
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Benny what happened with your jobs? DONT FORSAKE US.
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Mar 28, 2014 15:10
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I can't tell you about Benny, but I just accepted a new job. 
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Mar 28, 2014 15:10
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Congratulations on your new position, but don't start comparing yourself to Benny.
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Mar 28, 2014 18:38
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Magnus Gallant posted:Benny what happened with your jobs? If he doesn't want to fill us in on what's going on, we have no choice but to play the Guessing Game! I reckon Benny showed up for his first library shift 2 hours early (to be super responsible). To kill time, he made his way to the comics section, where he got into an argument with an 8 year old boy named Cameron about who would win between Dark Phoenix and that big blobby pink dude from Dragon Ball Z. Cameron tired of verbal sparring and decided to start throwing hadukens at Benny, and Benny had no choice but to defend himself. The aspiring intern tried to do Blanka's flying ball self-projectile attack, forgetting for a second that he was not an electrified superhuman from a videogame. As he threw himself into an awkward somersault on the carpet, his body slammed into the shelves, knocking a full row of shelving over, which then caused the entire young adult section to topple like a row of dominoes. As the library staff hurried over to investigate, Benny looked around frantically and finally settled his eyes on the 8-year old standing shocked before him. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" Benny yelled at the kid. Unfortunately for Benny, their escalating antics had been observed by several library patrons, one of whom came over and just shook his head, sadly. The observers all started talking at once about what they'd seen, and the librarian who'd interviewed Benny pulled him aside and said, "Listen Benny, maybe this position isn't the right fit for you. Perhaps you'd be better suited for..." He paused and his face contorted into a pained smile. "Uh, something else." Benny went home and began to write a post on Something Awful about how his first day went pretty well, and he even had some deep interactions with the clientele, but in the end they wanted to use his talents elsewhere and they'd probably get back to him when they found such a position. Before he could finish the post, an email notification appeared: his favorite webcomic had posted a new episode. The rest of the day was spent on that comic's forums vigorously defending a carefully constructed conspiracy theory about how half the characters in the comic were secretly Mexicans with a murderous past. Fugue Stater fucked around with this message at 22:27 on Mar 28, 2014 |
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Mar 28, 2014 22:25
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Fugue Stater posted:If he doesn't want to fill us in on what's going on, we have no choice but to play the Guessing Game! Yes. I want to believe.
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Mar 28, 2014 22:36
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