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TheSpiritFox posted:Someone would have gone back and started pulling Goon Virginity Megathread quotes and it would have unraveled really quickly. Well done, I remember your posts from that thread ages ago but you almost had me convinced I was losing my mind.
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Mar 31, 2014 22:14
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Galliope posted:I was a virgin till I was 22, and I'm an ok-looking girl. I'm 24 now and have had sex with three men. This is from the first few pages of this thread but it describes pretty well how I feel about it. I mean, I'm not unattractive and when I think about it logically I realise it's because I'm never interested in the guys I meet anyway, but it's still something that makes me feel incredibly insecure. Never had a boyfriend, never been close. There is a guy I really like but I moved across the world before it went anywhere so joke's on me, I guess. Most of the posts on here seem to be about guys, but as far as I can tell there is a stigma associated with it for women too. Or maybe that's all in my head.
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Mar 31, 2014 22:30
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Laverna posted:Most of the posts on here seem to be about guys, but as far as I can tell there is a stigma associated with it for women too. Or maybe that's all in my head. For some hosed up reason it's seen as an accomplishment for guys to be non-virgins and sexually promiscuous. Still. Women are still, as far as I know, regarded by some as slightly prudish if they remain virgins for long, though I can't think of many guys who would consider it an issue, because for some hosed up reason taking someone's virginity is also seen as manly thing to do. So no, it boils down to men and their fragile, fragile egoes. I would try to not worry about it, and rather concentrate your efforts on finding someone you're comfortable and happy with. There's no need to rush.
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Mar 31, 2014 22:55
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Laverna posted:Most of the posts on here seem to be about guys, but as far as I can tell there is a stigma associated with it for women too. Or maybe that's all in my head. It's because society pressures men to be as promiscuous as possible while wanting men to settle down with "the one" while women are expected to be virginal pure while being condemned for being prudish. All in all, society has conflicting messages for both sexes when it comes to sexuality. Also, there seems to be a belief that women can get laid way easier than men since men are seen as the default instigators of intimacy and with women being seen as the "gatekeepers" of sex; as is sex is a finite resource. Look how much of a shitfit Zerg throws whenever he posts on here after his probation. Nice piece of fish posted:For some hosed up reason it's seen as an accomplishment for guys to be non-virgins and sexually promiscuous. Still. 
Okuteru fucked around with this message at 23:11 on Mar 31, 2014 |
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Mar 31, 2014 23:06
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Being a female virgin doesn't have the same connotations of being a loser that being a male virgin does. People are just going to assume that you're religious or don't like sex for whatever reason.
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Mar 31, 2014 23:10
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TheSpiritFox posted:At 29 years old, it's hard. When I was younger, the people who knew were always telling me it would happen eventually, that I just needed to chill out about it. Now though, it's like this massive Gundam sized skeleton in my closet. You have this intrinsically lower value as an adult virgin, everyone who finds out about it... it's not even just an assumption at this point. People just know there's something wrong with me when it comes up. Adult Virgoons: A Gundam sized skeleton in my closet.
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Mar 31, 2014 23:29
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Forceholy posted:Also, there seems to be a belief that women can get laid way easier than men since men are seen as the default instigators of intimacy and with women being seen as the "gatekeepers" of sex That's probably true though. The one woman virgin in this thread posted her story and everyone suggested that she sign up for internet dating. I think a couple days later, she was complaining about her dates and about getting too many messages on the internet dating website haha.
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Apr 1, 2014 00:25
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silence_kit posted:That's probably true though. The one woman virgin in this thread posted her story and everyone suggested that she sign up for internet dating. I think a couple days later, she was complaining about her dates and about getting too many messages on the internet dating website haha. I missed this; can you link it?
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Apr 1, 2014 00:32
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EN Bullshit posted:let me tell you about fakeposting, Not exactly the same joke I was thinking of, but thank you for saving me the effort.
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Apr 1, 2014 03:42
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I need some confirmation on some subtext I think I just got a few hours ago. There's this girl I've been trying to get on a college version of a date for the past two weeks now, but a series of unfortunate coincidences has ruined my chances to talk to her directly. Last Saturday, I decided to just ask her over Facebook if she'd like to meet up for some coffee and to discuss a mutual interest we have. I saw on Facebook that she had seen the message just an hour later, but she ultimately never responded. She made a few small posts on a Facebook club page in the meantime, so I know she wasn't completely off or anything (and no, I wasn't stalking her posts, we're both members of the same club so I received updates whenever she posted something there). Today was the meeting day of the club that we're in. When she showed up she said "hi" and asked how I'd been recently. I was confused, but I responded back with some normal chatter. About an hour later I get the chance to ask her:  : Um, (name), did you see my Facebook message? : Facebook message...? Oh, yes, about talking about (mutual interest)?: Yeah, if you wanted to...: Ah...no, why don't we just talk about it right now? : Uhh...oh...uhh...yeah...Then the conversation proceeded on, albeit a bit awkwardly from my position. So...yeah. This was basically part of my first attempt to ever really ask a girl out, so I don't really know what to take away from this. I know I feel like crap, though. 
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Apr 1, 2014 04:01
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Did you go somewhere to chat or just stand there? Did the conversation seem forced or was it easy? It sounds to me like she's probably not interested unless she seemed really enthusiastic while you were chatting. Try not to get down on yourself over it.
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Apr 1, 2014 04:12
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1. We were sitting in the club room, there were about twenty people around us, all having their own conversations. 2. The conversation was forced because I had been thinking for the past few days every possible reason why she hadn't responded on Facebook and was trying to figure out if there was some kind of mind game being played. Also, I'm usually nervous around people I don't know really really well.
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Apr 1, 2014 04:18
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The Unholy Ghost posted:
i'm unclear on what happened at the end there, did you not ask her if she wanted to grab coffee with you?
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Apr 1, 2014 05:03
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Benny Harvey posted:I know this isn’t the Virgoon Megathread Mk2 but I have a question that I think would be appropriate here. How do I handle myself in bars and clubs when it comes to approaching women? I don’t mind going out for a few drinks with people I know but being so hopeless with women puts me off which just makes me even more reclusive (well that plus no hobbies means there’s a lack of stuff to actually talk about). I’ve seen this type of question asked quite a lot on E/N and the advice is usually along the lines of “stop treating women like some other species” and as true as that is, it doesn’t help because it’s not that women are alien to me, the situation- going up to a stranger and just start talking to them- feels so...foreign to me, like when you’re in a foreign country, you don’t speak the language and you just feel dumb. And this is what gets under my skin; it makes me feel like there’s something missing in me or that I’m broken or stunted because of how people react when I try to give reasons why I won’t approach someone. They try to reason with me but it’s like they’re speaking to a blind spot in my brain. It’s gotten to the stage where I’m not looking for success. All I’m asking for is to be able to pass myself off as a functioning human being. I don’t care if I get rejected by every girl I talk to just so long as I’m able to go through the motions of flirting. My weight doesn’t help because I feel like no matter what I say, people will think that I’m so self-unaware to think I’d have a chance with a good-looking woman. Little late, about your wieight you can do something about that issue. It's just a matter of time you'll start feeling better, and a good thing is you can meet people jogging, at the gym or any place. Do you like some sport? I fin easier to approach someone at a party than a bar, try building a new circle of friends. I think everybody feel strange talking to a new person. But just presenting yourself and talking about anything is nice, alcohol helps but not overdo it. I can't give you a step by step, nut just walking introducing yourself. Maybe invite a drink have small talk, see if there is some connection.
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Apr 1, 2014 06:25
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Anne Whateley posted:It's copypaste from somewhere, in other threads TheSpiritFox loves to talk about what an experienced man of the world he is who's totally had sex with all the hot crazy women. If TheSpiritFox lives such an interesting life why is he screwing around with fakeposts in the virgin thread?
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Apr 1, 2014 07:52
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benzine posted:Little late, about your wieight you can do something about that issue. It's just a matter of time you'll start feeling better, and a good thing is you can meet people jogging, at the gym or any place. Do you like some sport? Yeah I get that about the weight and I am working on it. But it will take a long time- I weigh around 210lbs (95kg) and I'm fairly short at 5'9 (175cm) so it will take a while before I'm at a good-looking weight. Basically, I'd like some kind of coping mechanism for the meantime. 5'9 is also really short for Germany although it seems to me that tall women like me more, maybe my face just looks better from a certain angle. As for sport, I'm also really unfit and I'd like to be able to run at a good pace before joining a team or whatever. For the people saying that online dating is normal now, is that just in the states or is it normal elsewhere too? Either way, I still want to try the normal way first. Benny Harvey fucked around with this message at 11:39 on Apr 1, 2014 |
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Apr 1, 2014 11:29
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Benny Harvey posted:Yeah I get that about the weight and I am working on it. But it will take a long time- I weigh around 210lbs (95kg) and I'm fairly short at 5'9 (175cm) so it will take a while before I'm at a good-looking weight. Basically, I'd like some kind of coping mechanism for the meantime. 5'9 is also really short for Germany although it seems to me that tall women like me more, maybe my face just looks better from a certain angle. You're not short, dummy. Start jogging, don't stop, you'll feel more confident and everything will fall into place if you just keep trying to talk to people.
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Apr 1, 2014 13:19
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Not a Children posted:You're not short, dummy. Start jogging, don't stop, you'll feel more confident and everything will fall into place if you just keep trying to talk to people. I am short in Germany though. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_height#Average_height_around_the_world according to that I'm either an inch or two and a half inches below average. It doesn't sound like a lot and I don't obsess over it.
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Apr 1, 2014 13:51
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ZergFluid posted:Because I got probated (and previously banned) for expressing these views. Don't want to push my luck this time. Email me at pinkhatflew@hotmail.com so that you and I can have a passionate discussion about these matters in private. ZergFluid I totally emailed you to ask about your views but you didn't respond at all. Is it because I am a woman and a sex haver by way of sex worker? I'm living your solution to the problem of low ranked male virginity!!!
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Apr 1, 2014 13:52
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Benny Harvey posted:For the people saying that online dating is normal now, is that just in the states or is it normal elsewhere too? Either way, I still want to try the normal way first. It's perfectly normal here too. Both OKCupid and Tinder are widely used in Europe. It's just in your mind that it's weird or shameful to use dating sites. And it's too bad because you reject a great tool just because of that. But anyway you need to work on your confidence first since it seems to be really bad.
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Apr 1, 2014 14:12
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I'd also feel really weird about putting my picture up on the internet. I definitely agree about confidence. Even if I were to start using one of those dating sites I'd still have to meet them in person at some point.
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Apr 1, 2014 14:28
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All your confidence problems will be solved when you start exercising more. This should be your #1 priority ATM.
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Apr 1, 2014 14:50
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It is. That and getting out of the loving night shift 
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Apr 1, 2014 15:08
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SpaceGoatFarts posted:All your confidence problems will be solved when you start exercising more. This should be your #1 priority ATM. Mmmmmm nope, but it's at least a start. I ran for two miles a day, no exceptions, for about half a year, and although it did help me a little, it did not solve all of my problems. From reading the thread, it actually seems like a surprising number of virgoons work out anyway.
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Apr 1, 2014 17:26
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The Unholy Ghost posted:Mmmmmm nope, but it's at least a start. I ran for two miles a day, no exceptions, for about half a year, and although it did help me a little, it did not solve all of my problems. From reading the thread, it actually seems like a surprising number of virgoons work out anyway. It's a gross over simplification of course but it helps with depression and being ashamed of your body which are like the most common problems found in e/n.
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Apr 1, 2014 17:58
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SpaceGoatFarts posted:All your confidence problems will be solved when you start exercising more. This should be your #1 priority ATM. This one thousand times. Well not all your problems, but it will really help if you don't like jogging, try swimming. Confidence is to my the real killer, and confidence issues are self generated. I've seen people that are "ugly" by some standars have a great personality and talk without a problem. Benny Harvey posted:I'd also feel really weird about putting my picture up on the internet. I definitely agree about confidence. Even if I were to start using one of those dating sites I'd still have to meet them in person at some point. Just take it little by little, I doubt you're one of the ugliest human being. About the height it is just matter of finding the right partner, I think you're taller than me by 2cm, and I've been with taller women. And unholy ghost 2 miles, isn't that much.
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Apr 1, 2014 18:43
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Some Guy TT posted:If TheSpiritFox lives such an interesting life why is he screwing around with fakeposts in the virgin thread? I have a 2 year old now, times change.
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Apr 1, 2014 18:47
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Benny Harvey posted:Yeah I get that about the weight and I am working on it. But it will take a long time- I weigh around 210lbs (95kg) and I'm fairly short at 5'9 (175cm) so it will take a while before I'm at a good-looking weight. I fluctuate between 225-245lb (over years but that's my weight range) and I'm only an inch taller than you, maybe less. And I'm married with 2 kids and more sex than I could shake a Big Mac at. Being 210kg would explain virginity, but not 210lb. 210lb at 5'9 should still look fine. Chubby but not "wow he's fat". But even then if you lost 40lb you'd be in the "normal" part of the bmi scale. That'd take 4-5 months on a 2lb a week weight loss diet. 2lb a week is a very sustainable achievable plan too. Hardly a long time. The thing is, once you fix your weigh some other excuse will crop up. It's all just fear / avoidance.
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Apr 1, 2014 23:13
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The Unholy Ghost posted:I need some confirmation on some subtext I think I just got a few hours ago. It sounds like she isn't interested and you avoided actually asking her out. If you wanna ask her out, then do it; don't tiptoe around what you mean to say. Let's do a communication exercise with the paragraph I quoted above. I'll play the role of a "forums reader," and you try expressing these same thoughts in a way that doesn't make me suck air through my teeth in frustration.
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Apr 2, 2014 02:48
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The Unholy Ghost posted:I need some confirmation on some subtext I think I just got a few hours ago. Sounds like she knew you were going to try and ask her out and she just headed you off at the pass. She's not interested, move on. DeathSandwich fucked around with this message at 04:13 on Apr 2, 2014 |
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Apr 2, 2014 04:06
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SpaceGoatFarts posted:All your confidence problems will be solved when you start exercising more. This should be your #1 priority ATM. benzine posted:This one thousand times. Well not all your problems, but it will really help if you don't like jogging, try swimming. Confidence is to my the real killer, and confidence issues are self generated. I've seen people that are "ugly" by some standars have a great personality and talk without a problem. I know some of this stuff has been addressed but I'd like to give my two cents. I would caution putting all your faith in working out solving a confidence problem. I did that in the past, and it didn't address some core problems I used to have. I used to be super skinny so I gained a decent amount of weight and got really ripped. Some Women actually said "holy poo poo" when they saw me without my shirt on. I still felt like an unattractive loser. I realized it was way more a psychological thing and I had to work on my self confidence through constant reminders not to crap on myself etc. I still do it from time to time, but it's gotten better. I'm not saying that don't exercise. It's a great stress reliever and there's a million other benefits. it's not a magic bullet for body issues and self confidence.
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Apr 2, 2014 05:00
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Monaghan posted:I would caution putting all your faith in working out solving a confidence problem. I would caution against putting all your faith in any one thing solving any personal problem. Everybody's different. Maybe all your problems will disappear like fog if you start jogging. Maybe no amount of exercise will ever fix the hole in your heart. It doesn't matter. What's important is fighting to improve yourself and not giving up.
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Apr 2, 2014 05:40
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Not only that but that is healthier on the long run. I say, because a person can put so much weight on some idea of themselves, that idea starts to gain control. Maybe that idea is his weight, or some other idea underlying.
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Apr 2, 2014 06:49
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Ratoslov posted:I would caution against putting all your faith in any one thing solving any personal problem. Everybody's different. Maybe all your problems will disappear like fog if you start jogging. Maybe no amount of exercise will ever fix the hole in your heart. It doesn't matter. What's important is fighting to improve yourself and not giving up. This. Approach handling depression like it's many different problems wrapped into some kind of Gordian Knot. Got a problem with your physical self? Start exercising. Got a problem internally? Get therapy. Got a problem with motivation? Start a bunch of hobbies. You have to fight it or it will beat you.
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Apr 2, 2014 19:01
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What is a manlet? Is it a weirdo penis thing, or is it when you're a cute lil' piglet but with a man's face??
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Apr 3, 2014 01:25
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Trustworthy posted:What is a manlet? Is it a weirdo penis thing, or is it when you're a cute lil' piglet but with a man's face?? Manchild. I think.
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Apr 3, 2014 02:33
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Trustworthy posted:What is a manlet? Is it a weirdo penis thing, or is it when you're a cute lil' piglet but with a man's face?? A manlet is any man who is shorter than 5'10''. Apparently.
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Apr 3, 2014 02:37
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Pycckuu posted:What the gently caress are you on about man? People already offered you advice. If you live in the Western world and think you suffer from depression, go to a therapist. It really is as simple as that: pay some money and make an effort to resolve your problems. If you live in Angola, go fishing with your dad and talk things out. So this is 400 posts old and I'm working my way back through this thread but I thought it pretty funny that this (presumably US) goon thought that Angola would be a sufficiently backwards country to use as an example for a country without healthcare when in fact Angola has nationalized healthcare paid for by the government. I laughed, darkly. E: I suppose before some virgin pedant takes apart my point I should elaborate: I am aware that not everyone in the country has access to Angola's healthcare system and that it is primarily tilted towards the affluent citizens. My point is merely that the government at least professes to (and in some cases truly does) provide health care at no cost to its citizens because that is a thing that governments do; it's funny because this is a concept that is fairly alien to US minds. I say this as a US citizen. Cursed Lumberjack fucked around with this message at 08:05 on Apr 3, 2014 |
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Apr 3, 2014 07:57
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Masonity posted:I fluctuate between 225-245lb (over years but that's my weight range) and I'm only an inch taller than you, maybe less. And I'm married with 2 kids and more sex than I could shake a Big Mac at. Being 210kg would explain virginity, but not 210lb. 210lb at 5'9 should still look fine. Chubby but not "wow he's fat". I know I’ve gotten flak for saying this before but 210lbs and 5‘9 is definitely considered more than just “chubby” here in Europe, plus it falls under obese in the BMI. I’ve had comments from co-workers and family. Nothing mean or anything but enough to make me notice. 40lbs less is actually what I used to weigh up until a few years ago when I started living alone, so losing weight is also about asserting my independence as an adult. I am worried about losing the weight and making more excuses. I’m almost curious what the new excuse(s) will be. On the bright side, exercise is good for lifting mood regardless of improvement in looks. As sad and vain as it is, I’d also like to get into good enough shape that most women would find me attractive even if I were to be in a relationship in the meantime. Veryslightlymad posted:This. Approach handling depression like it's many different problems wrapped into some kind of Gordian Knot. Got a problem with your physical self? Start exercising. Got a problem internally? Get therapy. Got a problem with motivation? Start a bunch of hobbies. How do hobbies help with motivation? By giving some kind of structure to your life? That would make sense because I definitely feel like my life is just drifting along right now.
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Apr 3, 2014 08:06
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Any hobby that's not "videogames" will definitely make you more eager to get up in the morning, and it gives you something to talk about with people. Note: the hobby can literally be watching sports and it counts as a hobby.
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Apr 3, 2014 08:15
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