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After all we've been through, all of the embarrassing inexcusable failures and lies and moments of genuine psychopathy, it's our relative lack of a reaction to Benny being a diaperbaby, something we knew from Day One, that broke the camel's back? What a boring twist.  I was really hoping we'd eventually hear about the library but that'll never happen because that was likely also a lie. Oh well.
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Apr 8, 2014 15:27
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| # ? Jun 3, 2024 22:25 |
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I'm sure the fellowship at the library went very well! Anyway, Benny the Snake has taken longer breaks than this one from his thread. I hope he'll be back.
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Apr 8, 2014 16:47
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Dang. Saw new posts and thought Benny was back. Oh well.
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Apr 8, 2014 18:11
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I thought I saw a shopping cart last night but it was just a tree branch casting a shadow. "Hello place of employment where I work," I said this morning, "I cannot come in because I have a massive hang...oh never mind. I'll see you later." My heart just wasn't in it. Lying once came so naturally to me. So naturally. I am, after all, a writer. But now? Why bother? What is even the point? Our Lord and Master is gone, perhaps never to return. Perhaps he never existed at all. Has anyone ever actually seen a snake? Eh, it's okay. Everything's fine, my friends. Normal service will resume, I am sure of it. Tomorrow.
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Apr 8, 2014 18:19
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Come back Benny we miss you! 
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Apr 8, 2014 18:23
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Benny is dead somewhere in some ditch, his mangled corpse stuffed into a shopping cart, his rigamortic fingers clenching his pornographic manga.
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Apr 8, 2014 21:30
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gently caress da Mods posted:Benny is dead somewhere in some ditch, his mangled corpse stuffed into a shopping cart, his rigamortic fingers clenching his pornographic manga. He's alive, and posting in the thunderdome thread. At least in his last story Holmes didn't kill any Mexicans.
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Apr 8, 2014 21:50
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Get a job, get your stuff together, save some money then move out. Until that happens, you live with your folks, and you live by their rules. Don;t do something stupid that would estrange you all. No matter how much you disagree with them, they are your parents and you have only one set of those.
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Apr 9, 2014 01:16
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poliander posted:Get a job, get your stuff together, save some money then move out. Numerous people said this repeatedly a year ago.
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Apr 9, 2014 01:19
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Ms. Happiness posted:Numerous people said this repeatedly a year ago. It's a pity Benny isn't here so he can experience all the stages of trying to help Benny out and end up like the rest of us.
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Apr 9, 2014 01:30
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Benny, if you are reading this thread still: I said I was going to do crits for the first three people that asked. That's what my post said. Three people replied. Then you came along, hours later. C'mon, dude. Pay attention. I may or may not end up taking pity on you and doing it tomorrow, but ... seriously, bro.
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Apr 9, 2014 05:57
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If he was serious about wanting to be a writer, he'd offer to give somebody else a crit in exchange. But that'd take initiative... so instead he just asks for a handout.
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Apr 9, 2014 06:00
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Goldmine this thread! Benny has succeeded at being the laziest motherfucker in the world by convincing his parents to let him keep his comic books, living at home and having his mom take care of him (at 24!), doing nothing all day, and managing to find an audience for his writing. Good job, Benny. I wanted to see you succeed and I think you have.
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Apr 9, 2014 18:28
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poliander posted:Get a job, get your stuff together, save some money then move out. Hah, did you seriously read just the OP, then skip 130 pages worth of content to post this?
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Apr 9, 2014 18:30
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Benny should be followed around the forums and mocked mercilessly for being a lazy rear end in a top hat unemployed adult babydiaper with no health insurance. Also, he's still a loser with an English degree that regularly fails on grammar 101 poo poo like loving up "whose" and "who's". Benny's latest Thunderdome posted:There's the Angel of Inspiration, whose singing is more beautiful than a nightingale and who's songs bestow illumination to those who listen. He can't even consistently use the right word twice within a single sentence. Benny your a idiot
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Apr 9, 2014 19:17
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Arch Stanton posted:
I hope you did this on purpose.
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Apr 9, 2014 19:20
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Arch Stanton posted:Benny should be followed around the forums and mocked mercilessly for being a lazy rear end in a top hat unemployed adult babydiaper with no health insurance. He apparently has health insurance. Not that this should stop anyone from doing the above. Well-deserved mockery aside (about the stuff he's pulled; I don't give a poo poo about his surely-entirely-theoretical sexual fetishes), I still feel for the guy and hope he can pull himself together someday. But the bottom line is, whatever his mental health, whatever other outside factors are present, he's the only one who can change his situation, and the evidence at this point suggests that he probably won't. It's a shame, but what are you gonna do?
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Apr 9, 2014 19:25
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Arch Stanton posted:He can't even consistently use the right word twice within a single sentence.
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Apr 9, 2014 20:43
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Close this thread, goldmine it, ban Benny, everyone who doesn't have a job get one, everyone with a job get a promotion.
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Apr 9, 2014 21:01
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Yad Rock posted:Close this thread, goldmine it, ban Benny, everyone who doesn't have a job get one, everyone with a job get a promotion. We'll do this tomorrow, we swear.
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Apr 9, 2014 21:13
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Yad Rock posted:Close this thread, goldmine it, ban Benny, everyone who doesn't have a job get one, everyone with a job get a promotion. I've made a note. Tomorrow I'm gonna lean in.
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Apr 9, 2014 21:23
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Benny just got challenged to a brawl in the dome: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=3598931&perpage=40&pagenumber=62#post428097901 This oughta be good 
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Apr 9, 2014 21:31
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Jeherrin posted:I've made a note. Tomorrow I'm gonna lean in. Talk to some hire-ups. Maybe send a thank you card.
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Apr 9, 2014 21:43
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I will get promoted, just let me tell my boss I'm hungover and can't make it in today.
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Apr 9, 2014 21:54
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ThatBasqueGuy posted:Okay gently caress it Benny is a troll. This is too much. Benny is sitting in the low-middle of the stories submitted and getting a bit better with each one; his stories have gone from being a sloppy gumbo of dumb words to being clumsy but ok, though still with a long way to go. Cf. Runninintowalls who has had the worst story three times in a row and is still entering because he is a trooper. Benny'd better do that brawl though or there will be ... trouble.
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Apr 9, 2014 22:36
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crabrock posted:If he was serious about wanting to be a writer, he'd offer to give somebody else a crit in exchange. But that'd take initiative... so instead he just asks for a handout. He'd probably tweak the other person's story slightly and try to pass it off as his own, then badly deny it, then say that he's a (bad) compulsive liar and can't help himself.
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Apr 9, 2014 22:44
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Yad Rock posted:Close this thread, goldmine it, ban Benny, everyone who doesn't have a job get one, everyone with a job get a promotion.
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Apr 9, 2014 22:57
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Well Benny may have had limited success in the job market, but I just discovered that he HAS finally "made it" in one way...his very own ED article (which I won't link)!
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Apr 9, 2014 23:21
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Well that sure is a thing 
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Apr 10, 2014 03:05
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Like all ED articles, it starts with a healthy dose of racism.
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Apr 10, 2014 03:21
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Benny the Snake posted:I know I'm not a good enough writer right now to get into any brawl. I decline. Shocker.
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Apr 10, 2014 07:33
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Of loving course. Because stepping up to a challenge with nearly nothing at stake is too much. Even though there's a chance he could get what he wants.
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Apr 10, 2014 12:34
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Please ban that fucker. He's not even good at being the worst poster on the internet.
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Apr 10, 2014 14:07
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We have apparently reached the anger & bargaining stage of grief. It's only a matter of time before everyone accepts and embraces Benny, and learns that everyone has to deal with a Benny in life -- and that he's up there, waiting for us in the Great Big Parking Lot in the Sky.
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Apr 10, 2014 14:44
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laplace posted:he's up there, waiting for us in the Great Big Parking Lot in the Sky. Is this a promise or a threat?
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Apr 10, 2014 14:47
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cname posted:Please ban that fucker. He's not even good at being the worst poster on the internet.
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Apr 10, 2014 16:02
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Why not do the brawl, Benny? Worst case scenario, it's an opportunity to write another story and get some good feedback on it. What do you have to lose?
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Apr 10, 2014 17:32
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precious comic reading time. he only gets 14 hours a day as it is.
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Apr 10, 2014 17:48
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Can you decline a brawl and still take part in the prompt? Would I be racist if I wrote a story about the wise Mexican fool who picks oranges to support his family while Benny wastes his life on comic books?
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Apr 10, 2014 18:07
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| # ? Jun 3, 2024 22:25 |
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you're under no obligation to accept a brawl, but turning one down makes you look a huge wimp. They've only been turned down a handful of times, to the best of my knowledge (you'd be better off asking Kaishai, TD's resident archivist). Still, you lose absolutely nothing but pride from losing a brawl, and I don't see how Benny even has any of that left.
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Apr 10, 2014 18:10
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