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Eris posted:Do you think we don't know this? Or that it makes you sound worldly? Definitely the latter.
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Apr 18, 2014 02:51
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Benny, the president of China is here! Quick, use your powers of language acquisition to determine if he is speaking Cantonese or Mandarin! No Benny, don't hit president China with a shopping cart 
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Apr 18, 2014 03:32
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Cyberball 2072 posted:Let's take a second to congratulate an adult for getting hired to a no experience necessary job after essentially a lifetime of unemployment. Oh cool are we at the part of the thread where everyone dogpiles Benny for having a job but not the right job?
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Apr 18, 2014 03:39
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Geoj posted:Oh cool are we at the part of the thread where everyone dogpiles Benny for having a job but not the right job? Yeah, seriously, at least wait til this job is revealed to be a mob front or a doomsday cult or something.
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Apr 18, 2014 04:26
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Minarch posted:Benny, the president of China is here! Quick, use your powers of language acquisition to determine if he is speaking Cantonese or Mandarin! China Benny Best Benny
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Apr 18, 2014 04:34
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Minarch posted:Benny, the president of China is here! Quick, use your powers of language acquisition to determine if he is speaking Cantonese or Mandarin! lmao
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Apr 18, 2014 04:37
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Geoj posted:Oh cool are we at the part of the thread where everyone dogpiles Benny for having a job but not the right job? No were at the part where we spent a year coddling/humouring a literal man baby. And conveniently forgetting that in the course of the thread the OP had been hired around 3 different times only to fail miserably at the simplest of tasks within a week. Were at the part of the thread where we are congratulating an adult for doing things that really should just be a normal part of life. Cyberball 2072 fucked around with this message at 04:56 on Apr 18, 2014 |
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Apr 18, 2014 04:54
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You're right, we should just continue berating him and calling him a worthless piece of poo poo. He'll surely succeed if we just keep deriding him regardless.
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Apr 18, 2014 04:59
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Geoj posted:Oh cool are we at the part of the thread where everyone dogpiles Benny for having a job but not the right job? No, I think most of us are laughing because that paragraph he wrote about having to learn mandarin was funny as hell. It's great that he got a job.
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Apr 18, 2014 05:03
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Shelf Adventure posted:You're right, we should just continue berating him and calling him a worthless piece of poo poo. He'll surely succeed if we just keep deriding him regardless. My success in life also depends on the opinions of strangers on an Internet comedy forum.
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Apr 18, 2014 05:07
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Good: Benny got a job. Hilarious: Benny explained to the thread how languages work. Best: Benny has no idea how much he is being paid.
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Apr 18, 2014 07:09
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Benny the Snake posted:That and there are two main reasons why adults learn a second language: employment or love. A new job is a good motivator for me to learn a second language. I really, really hope you don't speak like this in the real world, and that this is just a hold-over from when you used to write thesis papers in college.
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Apr 18, 2014 07:30
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Benny the Snake posted:And it doesn't help that Chinese has two different dialects This is so wrong I don't even know where to begin. Like, seriously. You're off by a factor of about a hundred.
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Apr 18, 2014 09:42
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" My language acquisition" is the new " my political fellowship". Also: why not " acquire" English before shooting for Mandarin?
Uncle Salty fucked around with this message at 12:37 on Apr 18, 2014 |
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Apr 18, 2014 12:34
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How's Danny, you're brother!?
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Apr 18, 2014 12:44
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Toriori posted:How's Danny, you're brother!? I'm not sure if you're being smooth reminding Benny that's he's supposed to have a brother, or if you're just helping the thread population out.
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Apr 18, 2014 12:49
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I skimmed this thread. Are people really yelling at the OP, who lives with a religious nut of a mother in a toxic environment, for not being able to get a job in this poo poo economy? Assholes. I grew up in a house like that, minus the religion. My parents freak out and yelled at us for no reason. You gotta get out of the house. Just getting out will do your mental health loads of good. Do you have friends you could stay with for a bit, just to get your head straight?
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Apr 18, 2014 14:03
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Yes, people have been shaming Benny over the last fifteen months for living with his parents. Surely the previous 133 pages couldn't have any sort of information or context that may inform you otherwise.
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Apr 18, 2014 14:18
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Count Chocula posted:I skimmed this thread. Are people really yelling at the OP, who lives with a religious nut of a mother in a toxic environment, for not being able to get a job in this poo poo economy? Assholes. I grew up in a house like that, minus the religion. My parents freak out and yelled at us for no reason. You gotta get out of the house. Just getting out will do your mental health loads of good. Do you have friends you could stay with for a bit, just to get your head straight? Actually he's got jobs in the past, he just manages to sabotage them generally in the first day. Plus he lies in this thread a lot.
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Apr 18, 2014 14:19
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Count Chocula posted:I skimmed this thread. Are people really yelling at the OP, who lives with a religious nut of a mother in a toxic environment, for not being able to get a job in this poo poo economy? Assholes. I grew up in a house like that, minus the religion. My parents freak out and yelled at us for no reason. You gotta get out of the house. Just getting out will do your mental health loads of good. Do you have friends you could stay with for a bit, just to get your head straight? Yes this is totally new advice no one thought of offering in this 130-some page thread. Problem solved, everyone can go home.
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Apr 18, 2014 14:22
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it's a poo poo economy for a lying, cart smashing, pan head-hitting, co-worker backstabbing, burning-bridges type of person. As in, there is competition for jobs, and Benny does just about everything one can do to make himself unhirable. Hopefully he's learned SOMETHING from this thread and will make this one stick, but from his plans to ask about "the chinese partners," I'm guessing no.
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Apr 18, 2014 14:23
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Count Chocula posted:I skimmed this thread. Are people really yelling at the OP, who lives with a religious nut of a mother in a toxic environment, for not being able to get a job in this poo poo economy? Assholes. I grew up in a house like that, minus the religion. My parents freak out and yelled at us for no reason. You gotta get out of the house. Just getting out will do your mental health loads of good. Do you have friends you could stay with for a bit, just to get your head straight? He will always have his Target shopping carts to go back to.
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Apr 18, 2014 14:48
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Count Chocula posted:I skimmed this thread. Are people really yelling at the OP, who lives with a religious nut of a mother in a toxic environment, for not being able to get a job in this poo poo economy? Assholes. I grew up in a house like that, minus the religion. My parents freak out and yelled at us for no reason. You gotta get out of the house. Just getting out will do your mental health loads of good. Do you have friends you could stay with for a bit, just to get your head straight? You're still really cool but I don't think the OP is going to use his cart powers to kill all birds for you.
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Apr 18, 2014 15:29
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Count Chocula posted:I skimmed this thread. Are people really yelling at the OP, who lives with a religious nut of a mother in a toxic environment, for not being able to get a job in this poo poo economy? Assholes. I grew up in a house like that, minus the religion. My parents freak out and yelled at us for no reason. You gotta get out of the house. Just getting out will do your mental health loads of good. Do you have friends you could stay with for a bit, just to get your head straight? loving lol This is an ironipost, surely.
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Apr 18, 2014 17:43
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Count Chocula posted:I skimmed this thread. Are people really yelling at the OP, who lives with a religious nut of a mother in a toxic environment, for not being able to get a job in this poo poo economy? Assholes. I grew up in a house like that, minus the religion. My parents freak out and yelled at us for no reason. You gotta get out of the house. Just getting out will do your mental health loads of good. Do you have friends you could stay with for a bit, just to get your head straight? I love how easy it is to tell who actually has read the thread and who hasn't
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Apr 18, 2014 18:07
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-His family is working towards healthcare coverage. -He's got a volunteer position at a library with enough of a turnover rate for it to be potential for paid employment. -His data entry job is %80 landed. (Looking forward to an update: Benny, have you signed any tax documents yet?) He has a handfull of good things going on. He's gone from being a do-nothing to a decent effort-person. If he can just keep these 3 things at the top of the priority list, it'll all work out. Benny, please don't get distracted with Chinese culture research or something. Don't start getting independent on yourself or tacking on side-accomplishments. You have 3 very important things going on, right now which i'm sure is as much as you can handle. (I don't think I could handle more, TBH) I wonder if some of the people still making GBS threads on him are starting to get worried that they'll no longer have someone to look at and go "At least I'm not as bad as that guy!" It also makes me wonder about all the other E/N thread abandonees and what became of them. Benny came back. Not sure how, but something must have finally snapped and gotten him fired up, angry, motivated, etc. enough to push himself harder than he's pushed himself before. Granted, that might not be a lot by normal people standards, but he's back and I think that says something about his character. He might be dumb and aloof but how many of you could handle crawling out of poo poo that deep, without turning to drug addiction or self-harm? Hopefully he'll realize that whatever he did in the past 2-3 months is actually what it takes to make it somewhere. cname fucked around with this message at 18:41 on Apr 18, 2014 |
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Apr 18, 2014 18:22
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Dear benny. Congrat! 
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Apr 18, 2014 18:42
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cname posted:FAR TOO POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT BENNY'S CURRENT SITUATION It's still too early to be optimistic. How many other jobs did he "almost have", when in reality he was just twisting the truth and was waiting for a callback or something.
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Apr 18, 2014 18:46
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lol, accepted job and doesn't know what it pays. I hope its volunteer
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Apr 18, 2014 18:59
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That drat Satyr posted:It's still too early to be optimistic. How many other jobs did he "almost have", when in reality he was just twisting the truth and was waiting for a callback or something. No it's not. He has a few things going on, this time. Even if they all fail, this is the first time he's actually posted a legitimate update. It's not even about the fact that the job may or may not be a scam. Even if it is, I appreciate the fact that he gave us an actual update, along the lines of "Ok, so here's what's going on. I've been volunteering at the library. Chances of said position becoming a paid position are mediocre, which is better than nothing. I've talked to my family about health insurance. They've decided that it's best to shop for family coverage as opposed to me getting myself covered as an individual. I've gotten verbal acceptance for a data entry job." as opposed to... "So I woke up this morning, made copies of my resume and strolled over to the job fair. It was pretty crowded so I wondered around meeting with as many people as I could  "I'm optimistic because his recent post was the first post that's shown evidence of a plan, goals and follow-through. Even if the data entry job is bullshit, he's starting to show a glimmer of organization, priorities and critical thinking.
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Apr 18, 2014 19:11
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Perfidia posted:I'm not sure if you're being smooth reminding Benny that's he's supposed to have a brother, or if you're just helping the thread population out. Baha I thought he was using a fake name for his brother so I thought I'd just put that just for a lil reminder.
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Apr 18, 2014 20:24
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Count Chocula posted:I skimmed this thread. Are people really yelling at the OP, who lives with a religious nut of a mother in a toxic environment, for not being able to get a job in this poo poo economy? Assholes. I grew up in a house like that, minus the religion. My parents freak out and yelled at us for no reason. You gotta get out of the house. Just getting out will do your mental health loads of good. Do you have friends you could stay with for a bit, just to get your head straight?  Benny, office relationships are A-OK, if you see a particularly nice MILF working there, don't be shy about asking her to talcolm your diaper rash. Also, do you ever wear diapers out in public? Don't let THE MAN stop you. Diap' up bro.
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Apr 18, 2014 21:04
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Fucksalt, I don't know why but every time I read one of Benny's posts i feel like he is TRYING to sound intelligent. You know those people that purposefully ham-fist words they barely understand into a sentence?? Congrats on the job Benny but if you talk like you write you should tone down the "wordiness" a bit....
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Apr 18, 2014 22:03
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Congrats on the job B-man. Don't overthink it.
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Apr 18, 2014 23:17
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Okay I just got back from orientation. My job is to post merchandise on sites like Amazon and Ebay. There's a formula I'm going to use to come up with the minimum price to sell and if some one else sells it cheaper, I pass. My company is a middle man: we buy stuff from warehouses and sell it online. And we sell everything from shoe eyelets to tattoo needle guns to even hydroponics. I'm going to handle Amazon and I have a feeling they're gonna give me Craigslist as well to liquidate returns. Pay is minimum wage and the hours are Monday-Friday, six hours a day. 30 hours a week is considerably better than Target was. I'm on a 90 day probation. Our office is a Mac one, which will take a bit of an adjustment since I'm a PC user. I feel like I'm in a good place though: it's a very friendly environment. And I came in at the right time, since summer is the slow season before September and then comes the Christmas shopping season. Later on, I'm going to an appointment with my psych to get myself back on meds. I'm going to call the library and speak with my supervisor about my new job and how we can schedule volunteer hours around it. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 23:22 on Apr 18, 2014 |
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Apr 18, 2014 23:17
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Count down til Benny goes "off formula"
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Apr 18, 2014 23:26
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It's a mechanical turk job. I wonder how much it pays.
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Apr 18, 2014 23:35
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crabrock posted:Count down til Benny goes "off formula" "I had a quick look and decided the formula that I came up with instead was better... "Turns out I lost the company millions."
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Apr 18, 2014 23:40
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"I put the millions in a shopping-cart and hit the CEO with them"
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Apr 18, 2014 23:49
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Ursine Asylum posted:It's a mechanical turk job. I wonder how much it pays. Benny the Snake posted:Pay is minimum wage and the hours are Monday-Friday, six hours a day.
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Apr 19, 2014 00:16
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