US Politics April: A Series of Fantastically Bad Ideas

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > US Politics April: A Series of Fantastically Bad Ideas

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ReidRansom: Oct 25, 2004

computer parts posted:

Jesus does at the very least, I think Mohammed just chills in Heaven.

Oh snap, Jesus is going to cause hyperinflation. What a dick.

# ? May 2, 2014 00:53

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# ? May 26, 2024 07:00

A Winner is Jew: Feb 14, 2008; by exmarx

Luigi Thirty posted:

So he's going to ban Christianity, kill all the pigs in the world, and cause hyperinflation?

Wait, since when did Obama become Jesus?

# ? May 2, 2014 00:53

Cabbit: Jul 19, 2001; _{Is that everything you have?}

A Winner is Jew posted:

Wait, since when did Obama become Jesus?

Any time he's campaigning, usually.

# ? May 2, 2014 01:02

Relentlessboredomm: Oct 15, 2006; It's Sic Semper Tyrannis. You said, "Ever faithful terrible lizard."

azflyboy posted:

-Harry Reid has a secret deal with the Chinese to seize the land and build a solar farm there.

Other than the loaded terms "secret" and "chinese" I fail to see the problem with building a solar farm on really any land in NV. I wish there were more of them.

# ? May 2, 2014 01:48

Ghost of Reagan Past: Oct 7, 2003; rock and roll fun

Relentlessboredomm posted:

Other than the loaded terms "secret" and "chinese" I fail to see the problem with building a solar farm on really any land in NV. I wish there were more of them.

Solar is a communist plot to impose Agenda 21 on America. It's the first step to taking all our guns and outlawing Christianity. We cannot allow solar to take root in America!

# ? May 2, 2014 01:49

Nintendo Kid: Aug 4, 2011; by Smythe

Relentlessboredomm posted:

Other than the loaded terms "secret" and "chinese" I fail to see the problem with building a solar farm on really any land in NV. I wish there were more of them.

But there's literally nowhere else to graze cattle in all of Nevada! Obviously.

# ? May 2, 2014 02:01

mdemone: Mar 14, 2001

I just involuntarily threw up the horns in my bathtub upon reading this.

Seriously I've never wanted to shake somebody's hand so vigorously in my life, just point me to whoever it is that is behind this and I'll fly to their house to buy them a week's worth of fancy dinners.

# ? May 2, 2014 02:20

fade5: May 31, 2012; by exmarx

greatn posted:

Thomas is an uncle Tom. That congressman has read the book and loving knows what one is. He's not some loony idiot throwing around words he doesn't understand.

The Warszawa posted:

"Fun" Fact: "Uncle Tom" in the sense that he used it doesn't come from the book, it comes from the minstrel show "adaptations" that missed the point of the book. Well, I say missed the point, when really they looked at the point and ran as fast as they could in the opposite direction.

Uncle Tom (the book character) was a martyr/Christ figure whose pacifistic non-resistant be-an-emblem-of-good approach was a positive - not without its own unfortunate implications, to be sure, but not the apologist-participant of the modern phrase.

Yeah, it'd be more accurate to say that Clarence Thomas isn't an Uncle Tom, he's an Uncle Ruckus. :v:

# ? May 2, 2014 02:37

gagelion: Jun 13, 2013; by XyloJW

what's a good way to find somewhere i can do some (leftist)political volunteering? i live in springfield massachusetts.

# ? May 2, 2014 03:05

JonathonSpectre: Jul 23, 2003; I replaced the Shermatar and text with this because I don't wanna see racial slurs every time you post what the fuck; Soiled Meat

Zinkraptor posted:

This one is amazing. When are the lawyers told about this? Is it after the bar exam? Does the guy in charge just kinda slide over and say "Oh, hey, by the way... you gotta swear loyalty to the Brits now. Don't tell nobody, though", and then the lawyers are just kinda like "Sure okay that sounds good to me".

Remember, you are dealing with people who honestly believe that every scientist in the world is conspiring to get people to believe in this "global warming," and has been so conspiring for the past 50 years, and that in that time the conspiracy is so vast and powerful that not even one person among the literally millions who are part of the conspiracy has breathed a word of it.

These devious millions of scientists have been and currently are conspiring to lie about climate change because...

... well...

... because...

... ummmmmmmmmmm...

# ? May 2, 2014 03:20

white sauce: Apr 29, 2012; by R. Guyovich

JonathonSpectre posted:

Remember, you are dealing with people who honestly believe that every scientist in the world is conspiring to get people to believe in this "global warming," and has been so conspiring for the past 50 years, and that in that time the conspiracy is so vast and powerful that not even one person among the literally millions who are part of the conspiracy has breathed a word of it.

These devious millions of scientists have been and currently are conspiring to lie about climate change because...

... well...

... because...

... ummmmmmmmmmm...

they're liberals?

# ? May 2, 2014 03:28

Captain_Maclaine: Sep 30, 2001; Every moment that I'm alive, I pray for death!

JonathonSpectre posted:

Remember, you are dealing with people who honestly believe that every scientist in the world is conspiring to get people to believe in this "global warming," and has been so conspiring for the past 50 years, and that in that time the conspiracy is so vast and powerful that not even one person among the literally millions who are part of the conspiracy has breathed a word of it.

These devious millions of scientists have been and currently are conspiring to lie about climate change because...

... well...

... because...

... ummmmmmmmmmm...

Because they're crypto-commies running a long game against free enterprise!!!

# ? May 2, 2014 03:31

SniHjen: Oct 22, 2010

JonathonSpectre posted:

Remember, you are dealing with people who honestly believe that every scientist in the world is conspiring to get people to believe in this "global warming."

What if Global warming turns out to be a lie, and we make a better world for nothing?

# ? May 2, 2014 03:32

Alkydere: Jun 7, 2010; Capitol: A building or complex of buildings in which any legislature meets.
Capital: A city designated as a legislative seat by the government or some other authority, often the city in which the government is located; otherwise the most important city within a country or a subdivision of it.

zoux posted:

Here's your first look at the monument the Satanic Church is going to request be installed at the Oklahoma State Capitol under their new religious freedom law:

If that thing actually goes up, someone should make a statue to Ayn Rand. I'm sure that the libertarians would eat it up and throw money at whoever's doing it.

Of course no one tells them that the commissioned statue's head will be completely and visibly empty. Ideally with a light inside of it to show the light leaking out of Rand's ears at night.

# ? May 2, 2014 03:39

alwayslost: May 17, 2007; and never found

So I came across this:
https://mayone.us/

Looks like they're trying to capitalize on the kickstarter concept in an attempt to get people elected on the platform of political reform. "Donate to combat donations"

I don't see them raising enough to go toe-to-toe with a corporate PAC.

# ? May 2, 2014 03:40

darthbob88: Oct 13, 2011; YOSPOS

Captain_Maclaine posted:

Because they're crypto-commies running a long game against free enterprise!!!

Because the government doesn't fund studies disproving climate change. This still doesn't explain why the oil companies don't fund counter-studies and out-spend the government, or why the government only funds studies reinforcing existing dogma.

# ? May 2, 2014 03:48

white sauce: Apr 29, 2012; by R. Guyovich

alwayslost posted:

So I came across this:
https://mayone.us/

Looks like they're trying to capitalize on the kickstarter concept in an attempt to get people elected on the platform of political reform. "Donate to combat donations"

I don't see them raising enough to go toe-to-toe with a corporate PAC.

I think their cause is worthy, but unless some billionaires pledge their entire fortunes, the political establishment in DC will not change.

# ? May 2, 2014 03:55

Munkeymon: Aug 14, 2003; Motherfucker's got an
armor-piercing crowbar! Rigoddamndicu𝜆ous.

CitizenKain posted:

Just a statue with 12 foot tall Neil deGrasse Tyson and Carl Sagan hi-fiving.

Tyson has said in at least one interview that he's not technically an atheist, in spite of what someone might have stuck on his Wikipedia page :\

# ? May 2, 2014 04:16

Kiwi Ghost Chips: Feb 19, 2011; Start using the best desktop environment now!
Choose KDE!

alwayslost posted:

So I came across this:
https://mayone.us/

Looks like they're trying to capitalize on the kickstarter concept in an attempt to get people elected on the platform of political reform. "Donate to combat donations"

I don't see them raising enough to go toe-to-toe with a corporate PAC.

It really is kickstarter-inspired given that I have no idea what their goals are.

I hope we get something more detailed that goes into the actual important things like fixing the joke of a public financing system, etc.

# ? May 2, 2014 04:22

Jimbozig: Sep 30, 2003; I like sharing and ice cream and animals.

Kiwi Ghost Chips posted:

It really is kickstarter-inspired given that I have no idea what their goals are.

I hope we get something more detailed that goes into the actual important things like fixing the joke of a public financing system, etc.

Yeah, and it says that you can specify if you want your money to go to Democrats or Republicans. Do these candidates actually agree? Surely there should be some kind of draft legislation that all these candidates should pledge to enact. Just getting a candidate to say they support "fundamental reform" without any details or commitment is useless.

# ? May 2, 2014 04:35

woke wedding drone: Jun 1, 2003; by exmarx; Fun Shoe

Shbobdb posted:

How about Confucian pillars? Just a big fat monolith with a whole bunch of Chinese names on it? Make it the Jinshi from 1890 when Oklahoma became a state. Bunch of right wingers would love a bunch of Chinese in their capital, right? Plus it would be super easy to get a bunch of Chinese Nationalists behind it. All you need is one patriotic multi-billionaire and we could have one in every US capitol!

With hefty donations to the Chamber of Commerce, they'll be most welcome

# ? May 2, 2014 04:38

CitizenKain: May 27, 2001; That was Gary Cooper, asshole.; Nap Ghost

Munkeymon posted:

Tyson has said in at least one interview that he's not technically an atheist, in spite of what someone might have stuck on his Wikipedia page :\

I know he isn't, but it would make a rocking good statue. Maybe the statue should just read SCIENCE and we'll Feynman on there too.

# ? May 2, 2014 05:03

Urdnot Fire: Feb 13, 2012

Besides, Tyson is still Enemy #1 for being the filthy evolutionist behind the new Cosmos series.

# ? May 2, 2014 05:09

Pythagoras a trois: Feb 19, 2004; I have a lot of points to make and I will make them later.

alwayslost posted:

So I came across this:
https://mayone.us/

Looks like they're trying to capitalize on the kickstarter concept in an attempt to get people elected on the platform of political reform. "Donate to combat donations"

I don't see them raising enough to go toe-to-toe with a corporate PAC.

This is a good idea, small online donations are what caused Barak Obama to blow previous election fundraising out of the water in 2008, which is arguably why the game had to change for Rebublicans to keep up with Super Pacs. In 2008, Obama raised his usual ~700 mil, whereas McCain walked away after about 450. In 2012 the numbers were pretty much equivalent, but both parties got massive PAC support putting the numbers for both sides within a few percents of 1 billion.

Anyone know more about this organization? It looks like the regular hopeful political donation grift, but happens to play the song I like. Also, 22% funded with 31 days to go is pretty impressive.

# ? May 2, 2014 05:34

Miltank: Dec 27, 2009; by XyloJW

22% in one day isn't it?

# ? May 2, 2014 05:47

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

Two Finger posted:

I have a spare room; a box of beer and a good dinner and it's yours.

I will also accept good American craft beers, I have a real taste for those.

Things you can look forward to:
Only people with guns are people who have registered them and taken a firearms course.
Free healthcare (mostly - you pay for doctor's visits but hospital care is free)
Good social security net (so good that we have 3rd and 4th generation welfare families who have never known anything else - still better than the alternative)
World class beaches.
Goddamn drop dead gorgeous scenery.
A loving annoying accent.
Awesome cheap asian food from our large and growing immigrant population.
A good and improving craft beer scene.

If you actually want to come, why don't you? PM me if you want more info, it's really really not hard to get in assuming you are an American with any amount of coin behind you and some sort of skills.

Could I PM you? Is there a need for a guy with some serious Linux/embedded chops? Also does having a family make it harder?

# ? May 2, 2014 05:49

Fried Chicken: Jan 9, 2011; Don't fry me, I'm no chicken!

gagelion posted:

what's a good way to find somewhere i can do some (leftist)political volunteering? i live in springfield massachusetts.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3621607

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3599985

check out the young democrats, drinking liberally, and the county democrats, if you are looking for less machine stuff and more like your local equal rights or prison reform, or women support of what have you you will need to connect with the specific local groups - try calling various groups on college campuses to get a list of groups

# ? May 2, 2014 06:07

gagelion: Jun 13, 2013; by XyloJW

Fried Chicken posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3621607

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3599985

check out the young democrats, drinking liberally, and the county democrats, if you are looking for less machine stuff and more like your local equal rights or prison reform, or women support of what have you you will need to connect with the specific local groups - try calling various groups on college campuses to get a list of groups

Thanks bro

# ? May 2, 2014 06:09

Warcabbit: Apr 26, 2008; Wedge Regret

Fried Chicken posted:

I can't find the age on my phone, but back home I have a picture of the American flag recreated by using color and spacing on Arabic calligraphy of the pledge of allegiance. That would be best, because it is beautiful, patriotic, and would troll the utter hell out of the bigots

I need to see this.
E: it's beautiful and huge. And patriotic. Desktop background.

Warcabbit fucked around with this message at 06:19 on May 2, 2014

# ? May 2, 2014 06:16

AdjectiveNoun: Oct 11, 2012; Everything. Is. Fine.

Warcabbit posted:

I need to see this.

Was posted a page ago, but it's so awesome I'll post it again.

# ? May 2, 2014 06:17

OAquinas: Jan 27, 2008; Biden has sat immobile on the Iron Throne of America. He is the Master of Malarkey by the will of the gods, and master of a million votes by the might of his inexhaustible calamari.

So on a scale from "awkward open carry BBQ" to full on "Lord of the Flies," where is the Nevada ranch situation sitting now?

# ? May 2, 2014 06:42

Pope Guilty: Nov 6, 2006; The human animal is a beautiful and terrible creature, capable of limitless compassion and unfathomable cruelty.

OAquinas posted:

So on a scale from "awkward open carry BBQ" to full on "Lord of the Flies," where is the Nevada ranch situation sitting now?

By far and away the best person to follow if you want news on the American Right is this guy named David Neiwert, who maintains the Orcinus blog and appears on radio and TV to talk about it. He's been following the situation closely. Here's the latest update:

dneiwert posted:

It was the imminent drone attack that finally did it.

Paranoid rumors are not only common at gatherings of antigovernment �Patriots,� they�re practically the entire raison d�etre for them. So when a wild and paranoid rumor began circulating � that Attorney General Eric Holder was preparing a drone strike on the armed militiamen who gathered at Cliven Bundy�s ranch in Nevada � it unleashed a rift within the camp, which is brimming with fear, rage, testosterone and firearms.

Vicious infighting among those remaining at the camp � estimated at less than a hundred � broke out a little more than two weeks after heavily armed militiamen forced federal agents to back down from a planned roundup of Bundy�s illegally grazing cattle from public lands. After vowing to stay on and protect Bundy � who then stumbled on the national stage with an outpouring of racist commentary � the remaining �Patriots,� who have been raising fear levels among local residents, have begun feuding. And it has been revealing.

Apparently, someone within one of the major factions at the camp, the Oath Keepers, relayed word of the imminent drone attack to his leaders. Oath Keepers founder Stewart Rhodes responded by pulling his people out of what they called �the kill zone� (the area the supposed drone would be striking). When the other militiamen learned that the Oath Keepers had pulled out, they were outraged.

As you can see in the video above, the angry militiamen � led by a Montana �Patriot� named Ryan Payne, who has been acting as the spokesman for the militiamen at the ranch � held an impromptu gathering at the camp to discuss the situation. They openly talk about shooting Rhodes and other Oath Keepers leaders � because in their view, the Oath Keepers� actions constituted �desertion� and �cowardice� � and describe how �the whole thing is falling apart over there.� At the end, they vote unanimously to oust the Oath Keepers, or at least its leadership, from the Bundy Ranch camp.

PAYNE: "We are open to gentlemanly conversation. But this man and the people that obeyed that order have violated my personal creed. You don�t loving walk in and say, �I�m sorry,� and you�re back in, brother. You can walk in and say you�re sorry, and you�re lucky that you�re not getting shot in the back. Because that�s what happens to deserters on the battlefield."

For his part, Rhodes and his fellow Oath Keepers are keeping a stiff upper lip about the rejection. Rhodes himself has returned to his Montana home, reportedly for a family birthday, and his underlings say he plans to return. Oath Keepers organizer Elias Alias (aka Franklin Shook) described the incident on the group�s website as an effort �to sabotage the Bundy stand against the government,� and reported that other �Patriot� movement leaders, including militiaman Mike Vanderboegh and Sheriff Richard Mack, remain firmly within their camp.

Alias also tried to explain the incoming-drone rumor:

"Yes, it is true: Oath Keepers received a bizarre bit of leaked info which could not be verified but which also could not be ignored. Our contact is connected with the Department of Defense � or �was�. The info we received stated that Eric Holder of the Department of Justice had okayed a drone strike on the Bundy ranch near Bunkerville, Nevada, within a 48 hour period over the weekend of April 26/27, 2014."

That, fortunately, turned out to be �dis-info� � a false rumor. And though it came from a trusted source, Oath Keepers could neither prove nor disprove it.

In the ensuing panic at the camp, �Oath Keepers advised people there to consider evacuation,� Alias said. He referred to the angry reaction of the militiamen as �backwash�.

He also admitted that there was a great deal of contention about how $40,000 raised on behalf of the Bundy family through the Oath Keepers was handled, since the organization wound up only writing the family a check for $12,500.

Another YouTube video, which has since been removed, but transcripts of which were posted at DailyKos, revealed the depths of the militiamen�s animus towards Rhodes and his organization. One of them � the nominal �head of security� for the Bundy family, a man nicknamed �Booda Bear� � rants angrily:

"My guys sleep in the dirt out here, we�re on shifts for 14 hours a day and trying to make sure that this family stays safe and secure � and just so everybody knows, as Booda, head of security for the Bundy Family I can swear on the white skin that covers my rear end there will not be an Oath Keeper � there WILL NOT BE AN OATH KEEPER allowed to set foot on the internal ranch property."

Alias responded to these slurs by suggesting that �Booda� and pals were actually FBI plants:

"Some of the purported �leaders� of the militia at the ranch are doing exactly what any agent provocateur would do after having infiltrated the militia and claimed a role in leadership. Did you notice the massive ego about who is going to command who? Did you notice the drama in the tendency to speak of Oath Keepers as if we were a militia, which we are not. These militia �leaders� would judge us by battlefield standards even though there has not been a �battlefield� since April 12, 2014? They would shoot us for desertion? Really? That is amazing, and is the kind of bumbling consciousness which a conditioned and programmed special warfare officer or a federal agent would offer if he had to think on his feet of a sudden."

�Patriots� often talk about fighting what they see as a second Civil War in America soon. But as the militiamen at the Bundy Ranch are demonstrating, the civil wars they end up fighting are usually within their own ranks.

So basically they're falling apart due to infighting.

# ? May 2, 2014 06:47

ErIog: Jul 11, 2001

Seeing the entire thing descend into a People's Front of Judea situation, but with guns, is really hilarious as long as no one actually gets shot.

# ? May 2, 2014 06:52

Samurai Sanders: Nov 4, 2003; Pillbug

Well, you know what Napoleon says in these situations...

edit: I doubt Napoleon cared as much about women and children being killed as we do though.

Samurai Sanders fucked around with this message at 06:57 on May 2, 2014

# ? May 2, 2014 06:55

Accretionist: Nov 7, 2012; I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES

Quite a development: Seattle Announces $15 Minimum Wage, Highest In The U.S.

quote:

Seattle will raise its minimum wage to $15 an hour over the coming years under a deal brokered by Mayor Ed Murray and blessed by labor and business groups alike, city leaders announced Thursday afternoon.

The new pay floor will phase in at different speeds for businesses of different sizes, but all employers will have to meet the $15 minimum wage by the end of the decade. Businesses with more than 500 employees nationwide will have a three-year phase-in period, while smaller employers get five years to ratchet up their payscales.

After reaching $15 an hour, the city�s minimum wage will automatically climb by 2.4 percent each year regardless of the rate of inflation. Even among states with relatively strong minimum wage laws, automatic increases are uncommon. Thursday�s deal will make Seattle the national leader on municipal minimum wage laws. Washington currently has the highest pay floor of any state at $9.32 per hour.

...

Approval from restaurant owners is especially noteworthy given the deal�s provisions for tipped workers. Tips can only be counted toward worker minimum pay for the next five years. After that, the separate minimum hourly pay rates for tipped and non-tipped workers will disappear, and all employees citywide will have to be paid $15 hourly or more.

...

# ? May 2, 2014 06:55

Mormon Star Wars: Aug 13, 2005; It's a minotaur race...

Pope Guilty posted:

So basically they're falling apart due to infighting.

I'd be careful assuming that they are just going to fall apart and peacefully scatter. The most radical members are staying behind, and they aren't just affecting people living on the ranch:

One Mesquite city leader said the entire Holiday Inn Express was evacuated for hours following a bomb threat related to the Bundy saga more than two weeks ago.

8 News NOW obtained a police report which also shows the hotel received at least nine threatening phone calls in April, after they allowed BLM rangers to stay in the hotel.

Workers were told to kick out the BLM or they "would not be standing in the morning."

One Mesquite hotel worker, who didn't want to go on camera, said he was told by an anonymous militia member that he would be "dragged out in the parking lot and shot".

This doesn't sound like the behavior of a group that is just going to get bored and disappear.

# ? May 2, 2014 06:56

Homura and Sickle: Apr 21, 2013

I'm going to go ahead and guess that at least some people will die in this whole thing before it's over.

# ? May 2, 2014 07:15

KomradeX: Oct 29, 2011

Hopefully it'll just be these racist poo poo bags who kill each other. If we're lucky

# ? May 2, 2014 07:18

Pope Guilty: Nov 6, 2006; The human animal is a beautiful and terrible creature, capable of limitless compassion and unfathomable cruelty.

Jagchosis posted:

I'm going to go ahead and guess that at least some people will die in this whole thing before it's over.

Don't worry, anything that happens is by definition a FALSE FLAG

# ? May 2, 2014 07:19

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# ? May 26, 2024 07:00

Rhesus Pieces: Jun 27, 2005

The relatively harmless special ops LARPers are the ones that already declared victory, got bored, and left. The ones that are still there are unhinged, wound up tighter than a snare drum, and aren't going to be satisfied until they get to shoot somebody, whether it's a jack-booted government thug or someone they decide is a "traitor" within the camp.

This looks like it's going to end just like Reservoir Dogs.

# ? May 2, 2014 07:50

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > US Politics April: A Series of Fantastically Bad Ideas

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