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this but unironically
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May 5, 2014 19:11
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Pham Nuwen posted:this but unironically This thread is a real head-shaker. My stories from the last few days: 8pm last Thursday I'm approaching an intersection northbound. N/S has no signage, through traffic always. East is a private residential parking lot, west is a street. I signal hell-and-gone before the time to get into the turn lane to go west, continue the signal as I approach the intersection to turn left. Cars are approaching southbound. Just before I get to the actual intersection, white Range Rover Disco pops out into the turn lane I'm already in and romps it to pass the person he's behind. I pretty much prepared for the worst (cars in through lanes on both sides of me) and hit the breaks. Screeching halts all around, managed to get stopped with our vehicles absolute inches from each other. He lays on the horn, window down screaming at me to back up and get out of his way. I sit. He eventually backs up when traffic has cleared, pulls back into the southbound lane, still giving me choice excerpts from his boundless vocabulary. How dare I use a turn lane to, you know... turn. --=========================================================== Another afternoon last week I'm sitting in line to make a left turn out of a parking lot, on to a well-travelled two lane + center turn. People speed like hell on this road, and tailgate, so usually you have to wait a while to get out of this lot. Comes with the territory. It's common for a line of cars 4-5 deep to pile up. I was car 2 of the pile. About 100 yards to my right is another entrance into the exact same parking lot; it's actually the one you would want to use if you wanted to actually GO to any of the businesses in that plaza, as that entrance maps directly to all of the frontage. The entrance/exit I'm at is actually all of the back side of the businesses, aside from a couple non-retail locations hidden in the back. Inside the lot, there is a driving path between these two entrance/exits... but there's zero reason you would ever see anyone using it to ENTER at this location. If you wanted the non-retail places, you'd turn in where I was sitting and just drive back. If you wanted the retail spots... just go down to the next entrance. There's no reason to turn in where I was and then immediately make a left to go 100 yards to an entrance you were .5 seconds from already. A woman turns right off the street, entering the lot, pulls up next to me, screeching halt, lays on her horn and starts screaming at me out of her open window to "BACK THE gently caress UP!". There was nowhere... nowhere I could go. The guy in front of me hadn't gotten a hole to enter traffic yet, and I had 3 more cars behind me. This didn't pause our heroine at all though. For the next 5 minutes I was presented every obscenity under the sun being screamed over her car horn. I rolled my window down and tried to explain to her that if she'd just continue on into the lot, there was another cut-through about 200 yards behind me. I don't even think she heard me. By the time it was over with, she had created a pile-up of people out onto the street wanting to turn into that entrance for non-stupid reasons. Finally the gentleman in front of me found a hole, pulled out. I pulled up, she let out one last "gently caress you" and turned left behind me... only to drive up to the next entrance... which she could've just went to from the main road... totally unimpeded.
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May 5, 2014 21:02
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Alleric posted:People being ego-maniacal idiots in traffic. Get a dashcam. If nothing else, it will allow you to share these kinds of situations with us in glorious HD, and perhaps it'll come in handy in an accident some day.
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May 5, 2014 22:20
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Alleric posted:Finally the gentleman in front of me found a hole, pulled out. I pulled up... Please tell me you pulled up as slowly as you could manage without stalling...
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May 5, 2014 23:02
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Brigdh posted:Please tell me you pulled up as slowly as you could manage without stalling... Nah, though I do acknowledge the rage generated when people pull poo poo like this, I don't act on it.... usually.  Of course there was the one gentleman in a mini van that cut me, and others, off repeatedly one afternoon, tailgated, shook fists, cursing up a storm, just being an all around jerk for no reason. He pulled his mad cutoff crap on the four-lane I was on, but got caught in the left lane nearing the right he eventually wanted to take and I managed to get in front of him once more. I guess I kind of gave him a "wow, chill dude..." look when I went by because he drat near hit the person behind me to get over into the right lane for the turn, then proceeded to tailgate the crap out of me, flipping me off and screaming out of his window, for the next 4 miles on a two-lane road. Eventually we made it to the next major intersection, where we both got into the left turn lane. This lane turns out onto a four-lane road. Light turns green, I make the turn with him on my rear end. I turn into the legal left lane of the two northbound, signaled, got over into the right lane (where I needed to be in about half a mile for a right turn). He stayed in the left and romped it. Ok, I'll play. I romped it. The only difference? I had the lane he eventually wanted. I called it quits when I derived that neither of us could slow down to a safe speed for the turn if this was sustained. He kept going. His want to prove said point put him going into what I would guess is a 50-foot radius sweeper to the right, with a decline in it, at close to 90 mph. Normally this particular turn is spirited at 35. Brake lights came on, but they were very... very late (he was past me ages ago and could've slowed... I wasn't trying to kill the dude). I could smell the brakes cooking from a ways back, and instead of using more of the exit lane to slow down in a straight line, he tried to cut the painted bike lanes and shoulder to flatten the turn out. He seriously almost lost it. Full 4 wheel drift, with wobble. Somehow he missed the turn medians, and fortunately nobody was coming on the road we turned on to, because he used ALLLLLLLLLL of it to get stable. Now, even if I was being a full on dick and blocking him from the right that he took... he could've just went straight for maybe a quarter mile, taken the next right and gotten to the exact same place.
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May 6, 2014 00:04
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"Hay guise! I found a spot!"  
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May 6, 2014 16:13
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Watched a lady go the wrong way down an aisle in the mall parking lot, then do a seven point turn into one of the slanted parking spots. I went the right way an aisle over, parked in one of the eight free spots, and walked into the mall before she finished.
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May 6, 2014 19:50
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GramCracker posted:"Hay guise! I found a spot!" This is art.
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May 6, 2014 21:41
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Uthor posted:Watched a lady go the wrong way down an aisle in the mall parking lot, then do a seven point turn into one of the slanted parking spots. I went the right way an aisle over, parked in one of the eight free spots, and walked into the mall before she finished. It always amazes me how much time and effort people will put into getting a parking spot 20' closer to the building instead of just walking a little bit further. Sitting there with their blinker on for 45 seconds waiting for some car to load up and leave when there is are empty spots a few spaces down toward the back.
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May 6, 2014 21:55
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Maker Of Shoes posted:This is art. I'm amazed they didn't relocate to a different spot. sbyers77 posted:It always amazes me how much time and effort people will put into getting a parking spot 20' closer to the building instead of just walking a little bit further. Sitting there with their blinker on for 45 seconds waiting for some car to load up and leave when there is are empty spots a few spaces down toward the back. This kills me, especially at costco or h-mart.
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May 6, 2014 22:02
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sbyers77 posted:It always amazes me how much time and effort people will put into getting a parking spot 20' closer to the building instead of just walking a little bit further. Sitting there with their blinker on for 45 seconds waiting for some car to load up and leave when there is are empty spots a few spaces down toward the back. The row she went down was actually further from the doors than the correct one I went down with all the open spaces. And she was still sitting in the car when I came back a few minutes later, so obviously wasn't in a hurry...
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May 6, 2014 22:14
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Was behind some dude in an '01 Monte Carlo, waiting to make a left. Protected left green comes on, car in front of him goes across the intersection, he just sits there. And sits there. after 10 seconds of this I honk the horn a couple times, he throws his hand out the window like "what the hell do you want me to do?" I want you to MOVE, FUCKER. More honking from me, more hand-waving from clueless mcretard, until the light changes yellow, at which point he finally gets it and punches the gas. Goddamn dude, it's one of the longest-green left-turn signals in the city and you still managed to gently caress it up.
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May 6, 2014 22:17
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BraveUlysses posted:This kills me, especially at costco or h-mart. For me, at Costco in particular, I don't care where the spot is in relation to getting into the store. I do care about how easy it is to get a cart full of stuff to the back of the vehicle. I'd rather park 50' farther back if it is a shorter trip with the cart full of groceries. To be fair, this is because the parking rows at my local Costco have their rows parallel to the entrance rather than perpendicular.
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May 6, 2014 22:32
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Since I'm feeling saucy, more tales from the two-entrance parking lot. So the two-lane road that runs in front of the two entrances to the lot I described in my earlier post runs east-west. This road is just on the edge of what one might consider the "urban" part of the town I live in, bordering right on the more residential, and at times almost rural, county locations to the north (which is why I didn't feel bad racing the dude in an earlier post... it was a 4 lane county highway with nobody on it). The parking lot is on the north side of said road. Westbound traffic, as previously described, flows along and has easy, immediate right-turn access to either entrance, the western-most being to the retail frontage which is where 90% of traffic flows into... and out of... Which brings us to today's story! If you are headed east bound, the left turn lane into the first entrance for you is median'd. You get a solid 3-car-long dedicated turn lane though, which is all fine and good. Immediately AFTER this turn lane, on the other side of that entrance, another turn lane begins for the next entrance. I have to go into this second entrance pretty much daily. Thing that has happened so many times I can't count: Approach first turn lane to see traffic backed up because some rear end in a top hat has tried to turn left out of the retail entrance and is sitting parked across the entire intersection waiting for eastbound traffic flow to stop. Eventually enough idiots like them pull out behind the first one that nobody eastbound can actually turn in now, and nobody westbound can even go straight! Fun! Super stupid thing that has also happened so many times I can't count: Approach first turn lane and it's normal. What isn't normal is someone turning left out of the retail entrance is now sitting, parked, at the beginning of the NEXT left turn lane waiting for traffic flow to stop (with no signal on, 'cause who uses those silly things anyway?). My policy wholesale is to go past them, pull in front of them in the turn lane and make my turn. Boy howdy that sure makes them mad. I even had a dude in a Expedition gun it, run right up on me and rev/honk at me until I made my turn. Exactly HOW does that get you out into traffic any faster? Exactly HOW did I impede you any more than a normal passing car would? You had to pull up a good 20 feet to rev on me dude, totally removing your ability to now make use of any hole in traffic that might now produce itself. You're a genius! What did you want me to do? Come to a dead stop at the head of a flow of about 30 cars, doing 40 mph, hope that you noticed and let you pull out? Lighten up, Francis. Super neat detail that caps the moronicism: Our road system is a pretty stark grid that has the ability to effectively U-turn built into it. Anyone attempting to turn left out of that parking lot entrance that sits there for minutes either just waiting, or turning into super-jerk and pulling out to block eastbound, westbound, turning, or all three traffic flows literally could make a right turn, drive 100 yards, U-turn and be on their way in a matter of 30 seconds. I'm not even exaggerating. If the traffic flow is high enough... even I have to cave and do it most days instead of taking the left that I really need to. It's nothing. Alleric fucked around with this message at 23:11 on May 6, 2014 |
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May 6, 2014 23:08
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Terrible Robot posted:Was behind some dude in an '01 Monte Carlo, waiting to make a left. Protected left green comes on, car in front of him goes across the intersection, he just sits there. And sits there. after 10 seconds of this I honk the horn a couple times, he throws his hand out the window like "what the hell do you want me to do?" I want you to MOVE, FUCKER. More honking from me, more hand-waving from clueless mcretard, until the light changes yellow, at which point he finally gets it and punches the gas. Goddamn dude, it's one of the longest-green left-turn signals in the city and you still managed to gently caress it up. Haha I think this guy was loving with you
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May 7, 2014 01:16
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Not think, for sure
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May 7, 2014 05:10
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I live in an area cut apart by freight tracks with nothing but stop signs for traffic control and for whatever reason, trains make the already stellar driving skills of the townspeople even worse. My car rusted out van that you can hear rattling from a block away; this is a 2.5 ton vehicle that isn't worth the metal it's made of, and people still want to play chicken with me at the intersections. After a train, they'll blow the stop sign on the other side when I try to turn left over the tracks, so I just lay on my horn and continue at my ~10mph across the lane, waiting for them to stop. There have been a couple times that I had to back down, but it usually reminds people that those big red octagons with the letters and the solid white lines on the pavement in front of them mean STOP Yay art! Also, blind spots. gently caress drivers for hanging out in them. If I didn't pay attention, I probably would've merged into those disappearing assholes by now
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May 7, 2014 07:20
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ijustam posted:Haha I think this guy was loving with you nsaP posted:Not think, for sure Yeah that was my conclusion as well. There is no way he didn't know the light was green, and he didn't get pissy when I beeped the horn, just kept playing stupid.
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May 7, 2014 11:41
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Some idiot driving around filming himself crashing into people decides it's a good idea to upload the video of himself doing it
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May 7, 2014 21:13
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 I don't want anyone to ding my Chrysleraserati. This parking job would just be SO perfect if it was moved 4 feet in either direction. Astonishing Wang fucked around with this message at 22:39 on May 7, 2014 |
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May 7, 2014 22:34
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sbyers77 posted:It always amazes me how much time and effort people will put into getting a parking spot 20' closer to the building instead of just walking a little bit further. Sitting there with their blinker on for 45 seconds waiting for some car to load up and leave when there is are empty spots a few spaces down toward the back. Once I was at the mall on Christmas Eve for the newspaper, and there was a woman turning into the lane aiming for the spot I pulled into from the other direction. She got out of her car, walked to my door, and screamed at me, threatened to call her USMC boyfriend to come kick my rear end, etc., and then skulked away when I took a picture of her (for evidence in case she actually made good on her threats). Oddly, I don't get that sort of thing anymore. Possibly because I now drive a blacked-out Crown Vic and dress nicer. The downside, of course, is that everybody around me drives ten under the limit on the highway. On the other hand, I've weaseled my way out of a couple of minor speeding/expired inspection sticker tickets by chatting about cars with the cop.  The Door Frame posted:this is a 2.5 ton vehicle that isn't worth the metal it's made of, and people still want to play chicken with me at the intersections. My dad was always really annoyed with bad drivers when driving Mom's car. He always said "If I were driving the work truck, I'd just hit 'em, they'd get the ticket." Sadly people here give a wide berth to rusty HVAC-repair vans with half the rear bumper missing, because apparently somebody else from another company beat him to it.
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May 8, 2014 11:24
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Bad Angus! Bad!
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So the little patch of passthrough parking lot between the two entrances in my tales... I pull up this morning and they've ripped the pavement off down to the topsoil overnight and are re-grading it. No digging or channeling vehicles so it isn't electrical, gas or water work. There wasn't anything wrong with the pavement, so I can't imagine they are replacing it from ground grade. I guess enough stoopid happened there that they've decided to fix it.
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May 8, 2014 17:12
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Did water pool there? Did they maybe pave directly over topsoil and then realize they were being idiots? Maybe they forgot to ask for planning permission first?
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May 8, 2014 17:18
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Delivery McGee posted:When I notice a vulture waiting for me, I suddenly remember I forgot something and run back into the store. This is only acceptable if you load all of your purchases first, as slowly as possible, return your cart at a leisurely walk, get in the car, maybe even start it, and THEN re-enter the store.
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May 8, 2014 18:01
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Delivery McGee posted:When I notice a vulture waiting for me, I suddenly remember I forgot something and run back into the store. Yeah, I'm an rear end in a top hat. I figure if the Baptists are right, I'm getting an all-expenses-paid handbasket ride anyway, might as well have fun in this life. Why be a dick about it if they are giving you plenty of room? Especially if it's crowded. They are only wasting their own time if there are spots further away open, why waste yours too? I won't hurry, I will go at my normal pace, but if they really want the spot I was just in, that's fine by me. There's been studies on this sort of behavior that are interesting - people feeling like they "own" a spot and getting upset at other people taking it. The only people that bother me are ones that follow you out of the store all the way to your parking spot. Mostly because it is loving creepy having a car follow you while on foot. subx fucked around with this message at 18:15 on May 8, 2014 |
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May 8, 2014 18:13
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subx posted:The only people that bother me are ones that follow you out of the store all the way to your parking spot. Mostly because it is loving creepy having a car follow you while on foot. This was the only way to get a parking spot at a community college I used to attend.
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May 8, 2014 18:45
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The Door Frame posted:I live in an area cut apart by freight tracks with nothing but stop signs for traffic control and for whatever reason, trains make the already stellar driving skills of the townspeople even worse. My car rusted out van that you can hear rattling from a block away; this is a 2.5 ton vehicle that isn't worth the metal it's made of, and people still want to play chicken with me at the intersections. After a train, they'll blow the stop sign on the other side when I try to turn left over the tracks, so I just lay on my horn and continue at my ~10mph across the lane, waiting for them to stop. There have been a couple times that I had to back down, but it usually reminds people that those big red octagons with the letters and the solid white lines on the pavement in front of them mean STOP Berwyn, huh? Every crossing of the Burlington tracks in the Western Suburbs is a poo poo-show of cars failing to yield right-of-way to vehicles coming over the tracks. I can sort of understand if the vehicle doesn't signal for a turn (which happens often enough), but when you've had your signal on for the last 100 ft and some jack-hole tries to T-Bone you in the middle of a left turn I get irrationally pissed.
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May 8, 2014 19:04
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kastein posted:Did water pool there? Did they maybe pave directly over topsoil and then realize they were being idiots? Maybe they forgot to ask for planning permission first? Nope. Water pooling isn't really an issue in the desert.  And from what I've been told, the entire plaza and lot is like... 15 years old? It pre-dates my residency here. I looked at the relief on the far side of the grading where they'd cut the pavement away. There was a good 2 - 2.25 feet of blacktop/concrete they had to cut through. Oh well, no biggie either way. Either they remove an avenue for people to do dumb things, or they put it back and I have more stories. Actually, either way people will find a way to make the dumb for stories I'm sure.
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May 8, 2014 19:05
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May Contain Nuts posted:This was the only way to get a parking spot at a community college I used to attend. I realize it is at times the best way to acquire a parking spot, but that doesn't make it any less creepy to have some dude cruising a few feet behind you in a 3000 lbs. death machine. I will admit to having cut through a line of the parked cars when someone was doing it a bit too close for my comfort. If you are going to do that, at least give the person a good 10 feet or so.
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May 8, 2014 19:40
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Alleric posted:Nope. Water pooling isn't really an issue in the desert. Which part of the desert are you in? Which desert? Delivery McGee posted:When I notice a vulture waiting for me, I suddenly remember I forgot something and run back into the store. Yeah, I'm an rear end in a top hat. I figure if the Baptists are right, I'm getting an all-expenses-paid handbasket ride anyway, might as well have fun in this life. Even better is buying all of your stuff at costco and then getting the $1.50 hotdog. Put all your new stuff in your car, get in, car puts their blinker on for your nice spot, and you just sit there eating for the next 10 minutes while listening to whatever you like to listen to (Marc Maron or The Bugle).
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May 8, 2014 20:02
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I like it when Im able to give up my parking spot. I wave people over if Im walking to my car on campus and I see them searching, feels good man.
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May 8, 2014 20:04
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Cage posted:I like it when Im able to give up my parking spot. I wave people over if Im walking to my car on campus and I see them searching, feels good man. That counts as a good deed for the day, so when the homeless guy asks for change you can tell him to gently caress off and feel ok about it.
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May 8, 2014 20:06
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Well, huh. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNA5Yn1MqCQ Not the reaction I would have had. Blows my mind how people in the top lane just keep driving like it's no big deal. The guy who comes out of nowhere at the end and drops some kind of orange barrier is the best part. Do people in Russia habitually carry around safety cones?
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May 8, 2014 21:08
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El Jebus posted:Even better is buying all of your stuff at costco and then getting the $1.50 hotdog. Put all your new stuff in your car, get in, car puts their blinker on for your nice spot, and you just sit there eating for the next 10 minutes while listening to whatever you like to listen to (Marc Maron or The Bugle). Even better: park your small short car in between two large trucks and pull as far into the space as you can. Bonus points if you back in so you can sit there eating lunch and staring innocently at all the people who swung into it thinking that it was a space.
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May 8, 2014 22:11
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dpidz0r posted:Even better: park your small short car in between two large trucks and pull as far into the space as you can. Bonus points if you back in so you can sit there eating lunch and staring innocently at all the people who swung into it thinking that it was a space. We have a Mini and a Suzuki Swift 
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May 8, 2014 22:49
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http://www.wcvb.com/news/botched-pa...el%2B5%2Bboston This dude managed to get his car turned sideways between two cars in a parking stall.
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May 9, 2014 00:24
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May Contain Nuts posted:This was the only way to get a parking spot at a community college I used to attend. Parking at <name of college> is a competitive, full contact sport. When I lived in the dorm, I was constantly followed across parking lots by people asking where me where I parked. Some days I would pull out my keys while walking just to mess with people, walk up to a random car and dick around before suddenly realizing it was not my car. Yes, I'm an rear end in a top hat and will be going to hell for that. dpidz0r posted:Even better: park your small short car in between two large trucks and pull as far into the space as you can. Bonus points if you back in so you can sit there eating lunch and staring innocently at all the people who swung into it thinking that it was a space. This very reason is why I hate Dillons, all of the shopping car returns are narrow and short, and even though I know exactly where they are and that have a giant pole marking them, they still manage to trick me sometimes. On a related note:  I have a love/hate relationship with the parking spot in red. It's not a handicapped spot. It is close enough to the entry to be a handicapped spot, and the spot directly opposite is a handicapped spot so it even has a pole (but no sign or other markings), but it is not a handicapped spot. I park there all the time because a lot of people will just drive past it, the lovely part is the number of rednecks who yell "it's a handicapped spot!" Backing out from there also really sucks because you have to deal with traffic from four different directions. Occasionally, people entering the parking lot love to camp out and wait for that spot which causes traffic to back up onto the main road. The stalls in green suck because they are not parking spots, they are not marked as parking spots in any way, but lazy people love to park there which makes it very difficult to back out of the east facing parking slots.
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May 9, 2014 01:15
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SocketSeven posted:http://www.wcvb.com/news/botched-pa...el%2B5%2Bboston Clearly a Ford pickup you drat news lady.
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May 9, 2014 01:18
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Crotch Fruit posted:Parking at <name of college> is a competitive, full contact sport. When I lived in the dorm, I was constantly followed across parking lots by people asking where me where I parked. Some days I would pull out my keys while walking just to mess with people, walk up to a random car and dick around before suddenly realizing it was not my car. Yes, I'm an rear end in a top hat and will be going to hell for that. Yep, I'll do exactly the same thing and think it's hilarious (I also fully expect people to do it to me, which is why I never follow people to parking spots). I'm the person you share a parking lot with 
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May 9, 2014 02:07
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dpidz0r posted:Yep, I'll do exactly the same thing and think it's hilarious (I also fully expect people to do it to me, which is why I never follow people to parking spots). I'm the person you share a parking lot with I see nothing wrong with this. There's no excuse for stalking people in your car unless there are no spaces available. If that's the case, then yeah, that's a bit dickish, but generally it's just someone hoping to get a closer spot so they don't have to walk.
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May 9, 2014 02:48
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