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This thread has taught me to be very cynical about stories but the "vent about students" thread in Science & Academics has taught me that this one is 100% accurate. Lady cop chat, I was on a train once with a mentally disabled man and his extremely unpleasant father. The train was running late because of signal problems, the guy didn't understand why it kept stopping and wanted to go home, his father kept yelling at him, eventually a cop showed up and gave him a right dressing down. Full carriage, no one applauded. Imagine that.
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# ? May 7, 2014 09:46 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 11:38 |
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GreenMetalSun posted:
The entire train applauded. Every single passenger suddenly vigorously started clapping at the exact same time, even the ones in different carriages.
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# ? May 7, 2014 09:53 |
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That too, you're lucky to get the gist of things happening four seats down from yours.
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# ? May 7, 2014 09:57 |
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Requesting a repost of the weeaboo brony story for posterity in the new thread. The one with the kurokishi shirokishi thing.
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# ? May 7, 2014 11:01 |
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Khazar-khum posted:The only thing that makes me wonder if there's a kernel of truth to this one is because it's from LA. "Cliff's Notes"
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# ? May 7, 2014 11:13 |
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Khazar-khum posted:The only thing that makes me wonder if there's a kernel of truth to this one is because it's from LA. Hell I've seen a guy use the same excuse before. It was just run of the mill cheating and not cliffnotes though. And yes they did do the typical academic honesty speech at the beginning of the class that year.
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# ? May 7, 2014 14:47 |
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The STDH part of that lady cop story is that she would arrest the guy instead of just waving her badge and having him shut up immediately. The story doesn't specify that she's on duty so I assume that instead of going wherever she was going, she'd rather cuff this dude, call it in, and then go to write a report for it, not to mention the specious grounds for arrest. The guy was being verbally abusive, but it's hard to charge for a statement so vague as "I'll kill you" (not technically assault)
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# ? May 7, 2014 15:35 |
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SpookyLizard posted:Because no class ever reminds you about the schools honor code and 'dont copy and/or cheat' rules. Sadly some universities now have mandatory units that are basically Plagiarism 101
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# ? May 7, 2014 15:41 |
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Spookydonut posted:Sadly some universities now have mandatory units that are basically Plagiarism 101 My school had a mandatory "freshman orientation" course you had to take first semester, which pretty much consisted of "Don't plagiarize", "Here is how this city's incredibly lovely bus system works", and "Please do your homework. Your mom isn't here to do it for you."
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# ? May 7, 2014 15:45 |
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Big Grunty Secret posted:The STDH part of that lady cop story is that she would arrest the guy instead of just waving her badge and having him shut up immediately. The story doesn't specify that she's on duty so I assume that instead of going wherever she was going, she'd rather cuff this dude, call it in, and then go to write a report for it, not to mention the specious grounds for arrest. The guy was being verbally abusive, but it's hard to charge for a statement so vague as "I'll kill you" (not technically assault) Uttering death threats is a criminal offense in a lot of places. "I'll kill you" definitely qualifies.
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# ? May 7, 2014 16:08 |
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The University in the town where I live is dealing with budget cuts and while the comments section of the local newspaper's website always contains a rich vein of STDH, today they struck gold on a story about the University Library. quote:Strange things happen sometimes during our morning coffee gatherings, now the five of us. A couple of other customers have suspected who we are over the weeks and give us snippets now and again. This morning we were reading of the latest cuts at the University Library when someone overheard us, came over and suggested we talk to a gentleman sitting by himself studying ’The Encyclopedia of Civil War Usage.’ Quite the character this gentleman happened to be, with quite the story, so be patient. His latest endeavor being to publish 4 books in two years. He’s now on his fifth in 3 years, hence the encyclopedia. Prior to that his resume runs thick; with farming, soldiering, firefighting, even some spook and kicker (loadmaster) work. Been arrested, deported, beaten and diseased, and in some pain while we talked. His last ‘real’ job, and the reason he came up, was as a software developer. Something he taught himself while sitting in a hangar back in 1996, apparently, and ended up making millions for a company he contracted with for eight years (leaving because they forced him into being a full-time employee - that’s not me, he said, so he left), being one of only 3 people who built software still sold globally to universities and libraries. Now the first kicker; The University library advertised a job, a primary requisite being experience with the software this gentleman had built. Since we already know from previous people, and documents we have seen, that the university is a dirty, nasty, nepotistic institution, we were sadly not surprised to learn that this job went to an intern not two years out of school. The gentleman laughed when he saw the reason for our conversation. “Ironic, no?” He said. "I made millions for this company, knew that software like the back of my hand, because it came from my hand, and could have improved on it to make even more for the University, too. But they don’t like private success, it scares them, I could see it in their eyes. They want malleable people they can control.” We asked why he didn’t do so himself. “People like me are not business minded, we hate business. I returned to this town to be left alone, do my job, do it well, and be left alone. Well, now I’m left alone, mostly, and I write.” We asked if he fought the issue and he explained that if people mess with him, he will mess with them. So he did for a while, calling out the liars and able to forever call them liars. “Sally England is well known as being the university’s corporate liar. Her job, now that Martinez is no longer there, has passed to a woman that used to head up the State Human Rights Bureau. Dots starting to come together are they?” He asked. We knew that already thanks to others who’ve had the same problems, a long list, and have seen their case files. That was the second kicker if you hadn't picked it up. The conclusion being that the university is on a collision course with total failure thanks to ballooning administration, rampant nepotism, cronyism, abject favoritism, the worst being the constant lies, of course, as well as a total failure to step into the 21st Century where education is ready for a massive change - or should we say revitalization, where administrators and sports are not the primary consideration, students and teachers are.
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# ? May 7, 2014 17:38 |
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Glorified Scrivener posted:The University in the town where I live is dealing with budget cuts and while the comments section of the local newspaper's website always contains a rich vein of STDH, today they struck gold on a story about the University Library. What could possibly lead you to question this man's badass book-writin'-farmin'-soldierin'-firefightin'-heavy-machine-operatin', software-developin' backstory or his inevitable betrayal by weak-minded cowards who were just too afraid of how he takes no poo poo and speaks his mind? EDIT: I do believe that guy exists and told that story, there's a guy like that in almost every small town, they usually "made millions for" somebody else while getting screwed out of it somehow, also they're often working on a book and "know what's really going on around here." J Miracle has a new favorite as of 18:12 on May 7, 2014 |
# ? May 7, 2014 18:09 |
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Have some classics.quote:A treacherous, greedy catholic Patrician and Holy Roman Elector was teaching a class on Pope Innocent III, a known heretic. quote:I was at a Halloween party Friday night that fluctuated from 25-40 people during the night. This is in a VERY conservative part of Florida, and basically everyone at this party except myself and my girlfriend is at the very low end of the socioeconomic scale, Wal-mart workers, Waffle House waitresses, etc. We are all sitting out in the backyard of my sister's place with a roaring fire and all the food and alcohol you could hope for and then some motherfucker has to bring up politics. quote:I hate those prisons. I truly hate them. I'm really sorry you had to go through what I went... I guess I'll share my story, and hopefuly I'll make some people realize that these camps are... more than evil. quote:This Troper gave a very nasty one that was merged with a Hannibal Lecture to a bully Jerk Jock type. It can be summed up as, "I really do pity you. . .or at least I try to. . . . You are just an empty fool who tries to erase his fear that he might not get a football scholarship by bullying those lesser than him. I continue these "geeky" behaviors because they let me form at least a core of my personality. You. . .you have nothing any more other than to try to fill your empty core up with the fear of others while watching that perfect six pack decay from one too many beers." He cried and ran away, having been emotionally dissected. quote:This anonymous troper took a level in badass between sixth and seventh grade. Sixth grade? I was teased, hated by pretty much everyone, driven to tears at times. You know, the usual. I did however plant the seeds for my upgrade. I was already tall, handsome, strong, and smart. So the next year comes around, and early on I'm already getting some form of respect. When I tried out for wrestling is when I really got noticed. Among my team, I was easily one of the best, even though I was just a rookie, I was good at other sports too, even though I didn't have time to try out for the teams, and I was aware that there were plenty girls crushing on me. I just didn't have time for them either. It went as far as people claiming that I could beat THEM in a fight. Black people. That's serious. quote:So I was standing in a rather large line at my local Wal-Mart today behind a couple families that I know from when I went to church with my family in year younger. It was the only register open so there wasn't much of another option to get my 12 pack of Mountain Dew for a party I was heading to. I was wondering why the line was going nowhere when I decided to poke my head up front to see what the holdup was. It was a little old lady who didn't have enough for her groceries and she was trying to talk the cashier into letting her get away with being short. This struck me as odd until I found out she was a mere $0.21 short of her purchase. Now all these families were just staring and there was even two making fun of her. I walked up and handed my soda to the cashier, handed him a $5 and told her to keep the change. One of the middle aged women (I knew these people, so I also knew that they all make over 6 digits) grabbed her kid and yelled very loudly, "See that man? He's acting just like Jesus wants us to." For some reason this set me off, so I turned around. I haven't shaved in awhile so I'm rocking some nice scruff, a Slayer shirt, and gym shorts, so it must have been a nice sight. Very loudly, I said "Like Jesus? Ma'am I'm an atheist who makes minimum wage and I was the one who stepped up to help her? Your hypocritical Christianity is an inspiration to us all." As I stormed out, a couple of the cart boys started to whistle and cheer, soon shoppers joined in and even the cashier. I gave a wave and went off with a feeling of accomplishment. quote:Though more a 'reader of tropes' than a 'troper', this troper just''had'' to share one of his experiences in Germany. He was stuck in one of the narrow stairwells at the Cathedral in Cologne, with hundreds of people packed in shoulder-to-shoulder above and below him. Nothing was moving, and everyone was grumbling - right up until the point where someone started in with "Hallelujah." The version from "Shrek." quote:(Our Japanese restaurant is near a school that annually hosts an anime convention. So, it’s fairly common to have cosplayers among our customers at the time of the con. The owner is okay with it as long as they don’t annoy the other customers. On this day, we seat twelve cosplayers and, later, I seat three young customers near them.)
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# ? May 7, 2014 18:10 |
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Glorified Scrivener posted:The University in the town where I live is dealing with budget cuts and while the comments section of the local newspaper's website always contains a rich vein of STDH, today they struck gold on a story about the University Library. And that man turned out to be Ayn Rand ...
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# ? May 7, 2014 18:13 |
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I think I've struck gold. http://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/ quote:My wife recently started a job at the check-in desk at a downtown 5 star hotel. One of her shift supervisors is a relatively young Lebenese guy, lets call him Douche Nozle (DN). DN is a typical Jersey Shore looking wannabe. He's got greasy hair, immaculately groomed 3 day growth and tanned skin. The funny thing is he is also pudgy and overweight so the whole look just comes across as sad. I've met him a few times and he is smarmy, arrogant and treats his staff like poo poo. quote:Might fit in here as a separate story... twas a comment first. ...ok these might have happened but holy poo poo, can adults be that petty?
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# ? May 7, 2014 18:50 |
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Glorified Scrivener posted:The University in the town where I live is dealing with budget cuts and while the comments section of the local newspaper's website always contains a rich vein of STDH, today they struck gold on a story about the University Library. This reminds me of how in grade school there was the kid whose uncle works for Nintendo and by high school that same kid had a company interested in his program he can't show anyone. FrozenVent posted:I think I've struck gold. As a platoon commander who has led soldiers in Afghanistan, I have nothing better to do than put tires in trees. I love how the only two options are 'don't say anything' or 'ruin a man's life' - no first trying to just tell him to stop. shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: Schoolyard Style York_M_Chan has a new favorite as of 19:38 on May 7, 2014 |
# ? May 7, 2014 19:35 |
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J Miracle posted:EDIT: I do believe that guy exists and told that story, there's a guy like that in almost every small town, they usually "made millions for" somebody else while getting screwed out of it somehow, also they're often working on a book and "know what's really going on around here." Agreed, though I think the narrator has embellished whatever was said in this case. To me its the framing device is what makes the whole thing gloriously STDH. On first read I thought I'd stumbled across a blog post by someone with self diagnosed multiple personalities and "head mates". quote:Strange things happen sometimes during our morning coffee gatherings, now the five of us. A couple of other customers have suspected who we are over the weeks and give us snippets now and again. quote:We knew that already thanks to others who’ve had the same problems, a long list, and have seen their case files. I suppose the writer could be the head of a band of brave citizen journalists dedicated to exposing corruption wherever it may be found. But wait, they've posted again; quote:That's the rumor anyway. A rumor that has spread considerably, and one that might be somewhat to blame for the lightness of the spring quarter.
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# ? May 7, 2014 19:38 |
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I can believe that they think such pettiness is humorous or agreeable under some circumstances. They're the snarky and whacky protagonist, giving a more subtle brand of justice to their dumb idiot jock bullies. Except instead of getting embarrassed and humiliated, they get embarrassed, humiliated, fired and possibly arrested. Because they're big jerks.
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# ? May 7, 2014 22:07 |
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Nckdictator posted:Have some classics. This is one of my favorites because just the mechanics of it don't make sense at all. A group of 25-40 twenty-something are at a *Halloween* party and are I guess gathered around this nerdlinger on his laptop doing what? Shouting false Obama factoids at them while he shoots them down? Do they just line up and wait their turn to get loving OWNED or what? It's not surprising that the authors of STDHs can't imagine realistic or even plausible human behavior. Also are Tropers overwhelmingly non-English speakers? Or are they just retarded? "This troper" stories always have the worst English.
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# ? May 7, 2014 22:07 |
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Who the hell brings a laptop to a party anyway? Unless you're a live DJ or somthing.
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# ? May 7, 2014 22:13 |
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Jerry Manderbilt posted:Here's another variant on the classic professor STDH (in other words, where Tumblr meets Freep): I don't even know who these stories are supposed to be making fun of anymore
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# ? May 7, 2014 22:40 |
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Glorified Scrivener posted:I suppose the writer could be the head of a band of brave citizen journalists dedicated to exposing corruption wherever it may be found. Sounds more like a group of cranky libertarian retirees trying to inject some excitement into their lives by making their daily coffee klatsch into an intrigue-ridden story of how they took down the university with subterfuge and dogged determination.
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# ? May 7, 2014 22:57 |
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Screen capped it, it's a gif of Dean crying. Maybe I'm odd here and being an insensitive rear end in a top hat but if I learned that I got lung cancer I wouldn't just go straight to random website and announce it there, fishing for sympathy and knowing full well I'd get more Breaking Bad jokes than anything else . Could be real though.
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# ? May 8, 2014 01:10 |
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Seventh Arrow posted:A classic from the old thread: What's really great is that the girl calls herself "GERD."
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# ? May 8, 2014 02:30 |
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shitthatdidnthappen.txt: We are all visibly shaken
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# ? May 8, 2014 10:21 |
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quote:So I Went To An Exorcism Once quote:( I am not fishing for karma, I just want to share my story with all of you and help me understand what I just witnessed) I am in the military and can proudly say i'm an atheist in a foxhole. I am stationed near Nashville and where i live is a very religious community. I went to to Nashville for a car show but decided stay the night to try and get some action. Later that night i met an older woman (I'm in my mid 20s and i think she said she just turned 30) we began talking, hitting it off great. We got a cab to her hotel and things got heavy, i noticed a cross necklace but thought nothing of it, until she stopped and explained how she is still a virgin. I sat there and said ok and was about to get dressed to leave when told me how she only does anal to preserve her purity in god's eyes. I was in shock, i have never heard of this thought process and being curious i asked how only having anal sex keeps her pure. She said and i quote "only women of immoral behavior and temptress servants of the devil have vaginal sex without being married." And she continued with "sexual intercourse with the anus isn't in the Bible and will not offend our lord, and just to make sure i always pray for forgiveness after i indulge in my temptations." I was speechless, i didn't know what to say, so i got dressed and walked out. quote:Sit down folks and let me tell you a story on how I not only entered the friend-zone but I managed to escape. Now I wouldn’t say I’m a novice to the seduction methods around here, but I am far from being good at it as you will see. quote:When I was in about 2nd grade or so, my parents sent me to this bible camp. It was what you would expect, my parents would drop me off every day, I'd get into my group, and we'd sing bible songs and do activities. My experience was made worse by the presence of tweedle-bitch and tweedle-oval office, two sisters with high pony tails and unwavering fake smiles. Our group counselor was this old guy who saw through their bullshit though, he made everything slightly less lovely for me. quote:Two women behind me in the lunch line today were having a typical xtian discussion about gay marriage and how they didn't think it was "right". When they got into the pedophilia angle, I finally couldn't stand it anymore, and turned around. I remarked "There are a lot of people who think that gays should be allowed to marry. I'm one of them." quote:Once in America I was working on my car outside when these 3 kids started walking towards me menacingly. Before I knew It I was getting jumped... but then my best friend who is for lack of a better word huge grabbed 2 of them by the neck and threw them towards the grass then punched the third in the head. Then we kicked their asses pretty bad until their parents came out and called us atheist monsters how could we fight children. They were 16-17... no cops where called.
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# ? May 8, 2014 16:31 |
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What the gently caress is a k-close?
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# ? May 8, 2014 17:09 |
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Keurig-close
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# ? May 8, 2014 17:11 |
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Bukowski posted:What the gently caress is a k-close? A kiss, I guess?
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# ? May 8, 2014 17:19 |
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Yeah, K-close is kissing and F-close is loving. Closing means "sealing the deal" with the HB in some way. At least his bullshit story will encourage other fedoras to at least pretend to treat their friend-zoning beep boop objectives like actual friends instead of constantly pressuring them?
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# ? May 8, 2014 17:25 |
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Stroop There It Is posted:Yeah, K-close is kissing and F-close is loving. Closing means "sealing the deal" with the HB in some way. What is HB? I always read it as "hot body" but I know that can't be right.
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# ? May 8, 2014 20:11 |
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GAINING WEIGHT... posted:What is HB? I always read it as "hot body" but I know that can't be right. "Hot babe", "hard body", "hot bitch" Pick your poison.
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# ? May 8, 2014 20:27 |
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Nckdictator posted:[ "real life exorcism", definitely not a Dresden Files fanfic, it really happened I swear] Does anybody know where this post came from? The way it's written I'm sure the person has tons more stdh about how he's some kind of magical antiestablishment hero.
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# ? May 8, 2014 20:31 |
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jodai posted:Does anybody know where this post came from? The way it's written I'm sure the person has tons more stdh about how he's some kind of magical antiestablishment hero. It was in the previous thread, I know that for sure. "cosmic grape vein"
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# ? May 8, 2014 21:15 |
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Seventh Arrow posted:It was in the previous thread, I know that for sure. Yeah, that's where I found it. quote:My close encounter with the jew kind was in Finland, where I lived and studied the Finnish language, worked on boats and shoveled snow off of roofs in the winter. My girlfriends dad let me shoot his mosin hunting rifle out back in the woods, and I thought I would make a video of it, since it was my first time shooting. I put the video on youtube and I thought it wasn’t a problem. quote:I stopped taking showers every day. I have stopped the religious scrubbing of my masculine body scent with the artificial chemical you call soap. Since then, my success with women has increased 400%. My intoxicating pheremones now fill the air around me, attracting women who long for a rugged, natural man. quote:(I’m walking around the store seeing if any shoppers need help.) quote:I’m plenty smooth when meeting women, but I tend to avoid it, as the settings when these opportunities arise aren’t my cup of tea anymore. This has been the most fruitful one though, and it happened recently. quote:(We’ve just hired a new bartender, and he’s on a training shift with me. About an hour into his shift, I notice something a little odd: he is completely ignoring any requests from female customers as if they aren’t even there and is only serving male customers. On this night, my neighbor is at the bar as she is giving me a ride home while my car is in the shop.) quote:Seems there was a group of Ku Klux Klansmen in Texas who heard that some Pagans were holding a ritual out in the woods somewhere. Having run out of other minorities to harass, they decided to get back to their roots and practice some religious bigotry in addition to the usual racial intolerance and break up the party with a good ol’ cross-burning. quote:Spartan hardware store quote:So… at the store this morning… Nckdictator has a new favorite as of 22:04 on May 8, 2014 |
# ? May 8, 2014 21:32 |
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I taped a recent interaction with a patron at a business establishment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smE1kjEsdZk
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# ? May 8, 2014 22:08 |
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is that mandy goddamned patinkin
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# ? May 8, 2014 22:36 |
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ahaha I forgot all about the "SILENCE, FILTH" one. A true classic.
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# ? May 8, 2014 22:38 |
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Nckdictator posted:Asatru vs. KKK Should have crashed the Wotanist party, they could have chilled together
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# ? May 8, 2014 22:51 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 11:38 |
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Nckdictator posted:I turned and went down the aisle of the grocery store. He started to come after me, viciously cursing as he did so, but a man stopped him and said, “I’m married to a ‘dyke’, and am the father of a ‘dyke’, and it is my duty to make sure the Queen of Dykes is not hosed with any further by a little pissant like you. I suggest you leave, before you find out how many other men are fond of ‘dykes’ like her.” Thank goodness there was a man there to intervene.
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# ? May 8, 2014 23:16 |