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Dilbert As gently caress posted:Wait do people actually drug test it people that are non gov? I have a feeling if they did 50% of IT would be out of work tomorrow. Yup. When I was first hired at a previous hospital, we worked for the company that owned the hospital (Ironically, their stock symbol is THC) they had us do a piss test. When the I.T. department was shifted over to Perot Systems, they made us do a hair follicle test. E: Well, new page. Uh... A ticket was paged out yesterday evening. My co-worker is on call, yet doesn't respond to the page (pretty common occurrence with this guy). I take care of it as I'm the backup. Hours later, I get a text from him asking if I got the page as his battery had died. He's got a brand new phone (Galaxy S5), a charger in his office and a car charger. How they gently caress is his battery constantly dying? I have the same phone and mine manages to make it through the day without the battery even getting below 50%. vvv I just came from a Galaxy S4 and I was still able to make it through the day without my battery dying. Are you constantly using your phone? I don't talk on mine very often, but I get pages, use the camera to take pictures to help remember poo poo, schedule things in calendar and even remote into our switches to configure ports. TWBalls fucked around with this message at 19:14 on May 16, 2014 |
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May 16, 2014 18:42
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My phone battery in my Galaxy 4 barely lasts 6 hours unless I set my power management app to extend my battery life by disabling background poo poo that doesn't need to be running. If he has a bunch of apps on it that run in the background, the phone will eat power like mad.
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May 16, 2014 18:56
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poo poo like that is why I imported a Motorola Droid RAZR MAXX HD. I don't want to gently caress about with short battery life. Doesn't matter how fast the thing is or how high res the screen is if it runs down every five minutes.
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May 16, 2014 19:08
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1 day 8 hours and my S4 is at 80% battery. 4.4 made a big difference for me for idle power consumption.
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May 16, 2014 19:11
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Alighieri posted:Had a client yesterday blow up their MSSQL install, or at least that was my idea when I connected to the server. MSSQL would refuse to start and the log folder showed no new logs since a reboot in the morning. Turns out their onsite tech swore the data drive letter should be D:\ so they changed it without letting anyone know. Switched it back to E:\ and everything came up just fine. We had someone do that with all the virtual networks in VMware because they decided that it would look prettier if it was formatted differently. "Why is everything offline?"
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May 16, 2014 19:12
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TWBalls posted:Yup. When I was first hired at a previous hospital, we worked for the company that owned the hospital (Ironically, their stock symbol is THC) they had us do a piss test. When the I.T. department was shifted over to Perot Systems, they made us do a hair follicle test. Not sure I'd be happy about that last one. I'm fine with a piss test and even a blood test, but you aren't yanking a hair out of my head potentially damaging a follicle. Not while I'm trying to grow my hair to knee length (and still a few years out from achieving that)
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May 16, 2014 19:15
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Lum posted:Not sure I'd be happy about that last one. I'm fine with a piss test and even a blood test, but you aren't yanking a hair out of my head potentially damaging a follicle. Not while I'm trying to grow my hair to knee length (and still a few years out from achieving that) Knee length? Are you competing or something?
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May 16, 2014 19:19
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KoRMaK posted:Hahaha this is the most specific and unique reason for not wanting a hair follicle test. This would have never crossed my mind about damaging the follicle. If I was a bald guy I'd be really upset. Like, Homer Simpson upset. They can take it from somewhere else on your body though, a buddy got his from the armpit. Oh if they can take it from somewhere else, it's fine, they can have an eyebrow or leg hair or something. But yes pulling out hairs risks damaging the follicle, eventually you'll either destroy it with a build up of scar tissue or just end up yanking the entire drat follicle out if you're really (un)lucky. Not competing, I just have a thing for really long hair (I find hair like this sexy as hell), and decided to do likewise. Lum fucked around with this message at 19:40 on May 16, 2014 |
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May 16, 2014 19:38
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So what will the KACE techs do if I submit this as a 
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May 16, 2014 19:53
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Sirotan posted:So what will the KACE techs do if I submit this as a Ignore the attachment, deny there is a problem, promise the non-existing problem will be fixed in the next release, close the ticket, resume flinging their poo poo at each other across the call centre.
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May 16, 2014 19:56
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I work for a transportation/logistics brokerage and my acceptance was conditional on passing a drug test. Now that I think about it, I was more or less either required to pass one for my last two jobs. I hate to sound sanctimonious, but isn't the best option to just not use drugs? I am OK with the legalization of marijuana if people want to use it, but I see it the same way as cigarettes - a vice that doesn't seem like I'd enjoy it at all. I blame DARE - they made it seem like if you don't report your friends for talking about weed in a positive light, a SWAT team will bash down your door, throw you in jail with no recourse, deny you student loans, and ruin your future all at once.
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May 16, 2014 20:13
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Sirotan posted:So what will the KACE techs do if I submit this as a Tell you to uninstall the Cloud-to-Butt extension and mark it as resolved. MJP posted:I blame DARE - they made it seem like if you don't report your friends for talking about weed in a positive light, a SWAT team will bash down your door, throw you in jail with no recourse, deny you student loans, and ruin your future all at once. Are you also a child of the 80s? I vaguely recall almost everything was trying out a "scared straight"-like tactic. Sex-ed from that era was the worst and has scarred me for life thinking that everyone else is packed full of disease and trying to kill me. Helushune fucked around with this message at 20:24 on May 16, 2014 |
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May 16, 2014 20:14
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Today is a doozy for tickets: "I AM UNABLE TO ACCESS THE SERVER AS WELL AS THE SERVER FILES FOR BOTH DEPARTMENTS BOTH AT WHICH I WORK BETWEEN FOR VARIOUS DOCUMENTS THAT I MAY NEED OFF OF THE SERVERS! PLEASE FIX THIS ASAP!!! I WORK BETWEEN THEM AND HOW AM I UPPOSED TO PERFORM THE ESSENTIAL JOB DUTIES WITHOUT ACCESS TO THESE DOCUMENTS TO PERFORM MY ESSENTIAL JOB DUTIES! PLEASE FIX AND ADVISE!!!!" "YOUR BOSS IS AWARE OF THIS WE SPOKE ON THE TELEPHONE EARLIER AND WE SPOKE ABOUT THIS. HE ADDED THE INFORMATION I REQUESTED THEN IT DISAPPEARED! I NEED ACCESS TO TH ESSENTIAL SERVER ON THIS SYSTEM TO PERFORM MYJOB PROPERLY! PLEASE FIX/ADVOSR OF WHAT ELDR CAN OR SHOULD BE DONE!" "Hi, this was fixed after I figured out how corporate messed up our logon scripts. Please note that in the future your use of emphasis will have the opposite of the desired effect." "What is that comment cupposed to mean?"Well, he dropped the caps lock so I think he might know what it means. Dumb like a fox!
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May 16, 2014 20:39
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I am really goddamn glad I'm not one of these guys: http://it.emory.edu/windows7-incident/quote:A Windows 7 deployment image was accidently sent to all Windows machines, including laptops, desktops, and even servers. This image started with a repartition / reformat set of tasks.
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May 16, 2014 20:39
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Ugh, those are the kinds of stories that make lovely managers go "No you cannot automate this easy task I need you to go put hands on every single computer instead. Yes I know it will take you all of the next two weeks but you're still responsible for your tickets."
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May 16, 2014 20:48
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redstormpopcorn posted:I am really goddamn glad I'm not one of these guys: http://it.emory.edu/windows7-incident/ "incident" Reminds me of this http://myitforum.com/myitforumwp/2012/08/06/sccm-task-sequence-blew-up-australias-commbank/ quote:The Collection had been created/modified by an HP Engineer (adding a wildcard) and the engineer had inadvertently altered the Collection so that it was very similar in form and function to the “All Systems” Collection. The Task Sequence contained automation to – here it comes – format the disks. Yes, the disks of some 9,000 PCs and 490 servers (including domain controllers) were formatted and wiped clean.
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May 16, 2014 20:51
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So a regular user requested that I transfer a license from a former employee's machine to his machine. He wanted Visual Studio 6 and SQL Server 2008 installed on his laptop. Sure, gently caress it. Today was my last day anyway. His last message to me was "did you change my wallpaper?" EDIT: And we don't even have an installer for Visual Studio 6 and you already have Visual Studio 2008 you jackass.
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May 16, 2014 21:55
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redstormpopcorn posted:I am really goddamn glad I'm not one of these guys: http://it.emory.edu/windows7-incident/ Oh that makes me feel so much better about the stressful week I've had.
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May 16, 2014 21:59
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Back in my pre-IT days I worked as a truck driver for a lumber company, and the running joke was that they regularly tested for drugs and did random screenings. Of course, the joke was that whenever corporate asked for a random screening the management would always send me. After about the 8th test in four months I asked the manager what the hell was up, and he admitted that I was the only person who they were sure could actually pass the test, and since they never had to supply the name - just the results - then it only made sense to send me. When I suggested he go, he glared at me and said 'like I said, I'm pretty sure you're the only person who would pass the test.' Interestingly enough I got a $1/hr raise shortly after that as a merit bonus (and when you're only making $10.50/hr, that extra dollar goes a long ways), so I didn't bitch and enjoyed my bi-weekly two hour break for the next year.
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May 16, 2014 22:40
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redstormpopcorn posted:I am really goddamn glad I'm not one of these guys: http://it.emory.edu/windows7-incident/ My brother works there, but not in IT. I think he works on a Mac anyway, but I would love to hear about the fallout from this.
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May 16, 2014 23:14
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FireSight posted:My phone battery in my Galaxy 4 barely lasts 6 hours unless I set my power management app to extend my battery life by disabling background poo poo that doesn't need to be running. If he has a bunch of apps on it that run in the background, the phone will eat power like mad. Disabling "background stuff" with another app doesn't really accomplish anything. Either get rid of the stuff you evidently don't want to use, or check what your signal strength is throughout the day.
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May 16, 2014 23:15
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Lum posted:Oh if they can take it from somewhere else, it's fine, they can have an eyebrow or leg hair or something. But yes pulling out hairs risks damaging the follicle, eventually you'll either destroy it with a build up of scar tissue or just end up yanking the entire drat follicle out if you're really (un)lucky. I've never had a hair drug test before, but I would imagine they could just use hairs that are already loose but haven't fallen out yet (or have but are being held in place by the surrounding hairs). It's been a pretty long time since I really had much hair to speak of, but even before I started going bald I can remember running my fingers through my long luxurious hippie hair and coming back with at least a strand or two.
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May 17, 2014 01:37
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Couldn't you then plant hair for the test?
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May 17, 2014 01:41
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stubblyhead posted:I've never had a hair drug test before, but I would imagine they could just use hairs that are already loose but haven't fallen out yet (or have but are being held in place by the surrounding hairs). It's been a pretty long time since I really had much hair to speak of, but even before I started going bald I can remember running my fingers through my long luxurious hippie hair and coming back with at least a strand or two. I feel like the drug test man/lady isn't going to stroke your hair until a perfect sample comes free
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May 17, 2014 01:42
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MJP posted:I work for a transportation/logistics brokerage and my acceptance was conditional on passing a drug test. Now that I think about it, I was more or less either required to pass one for my last two jobs. The personnel life shouldn't be hosed with by your work life and vice versa. It should be all performance based.
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May 17, 2014 01:50
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KoRMaK posted:The personnel life shouldn't be hosed with by your work life and vice versa. It should be all performance based. Agreed. Don't ask, don't tell, and don't show up to work obviously intoxicated. It's all good as long as the job gets done competently. I've only been tested once, and that was when I was going to install equipment at a factory under construction. They actually drug tested everybody every day before they were allowed to enter the property, and the explanation was that the company's insurance policy required it. It also required everyone to wear a hard hat at all times, no exceptions. I was the second guy sent out to do that job, as the first one failed the piss test. I probably wouldn't take a job that required a hair test, because if the employer is going that far up your rear end before you're even hired, they're probably not worth working for.
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May 17, 2014 02:31
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Install Windows posted:Disabling "background stuff" with another app doesn't really accomplish anything. Either get rid of the stuff you evidently don't want to use, or check what your signal strength is throughout the day. In my case, my phone is loaded with crap that Verizon put on it that's always running and you can't disable in any menu. Luckily, that doesn't stop other apps from disabling it. I'm sure there is a better way to do it, but gently caress it, I'm lazy. I use my phone to make calls, read books, text, and occasionally take a picture. I don't need all the background poo poo running on it or trying to use my data plan to sync poo poo that hasn't changed. As a note, gently caress the backup software that Verizon "includes" on any phones they sell. Fucker is impossible to get rid of, and likes to make loud noises in the middle of the night if it isn't disabled (which requires aforementioned 3rd party app). And when it's not disabled, it seems to eat a solid 20% of my data plan... when there is nothing to back up. No matter what data plan I had. loving sketchy OEM software.
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May 17, 2014 03:52
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Whenever drug tests come up, I have a very simple rule: I will play along, but for a price. I have two pricing tiers: "Unlimited" and "Per-test". I will allow unlimited drug tests of any manner to be done for $20,000 a year. I can also simply submit to a single drug test of the employers choice for $10,000 per test. Of course, all time is billable, or should I be on salary, shall be comped across the board as PTO. Expenses such as travel are to be covered. If, however, the employer would like to trust me to do a good job, this is free.
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May 17, 2014 04:24
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baquerd posted:Whenever drug tests come up, I have a very simple rule: I will play along, but for a price. Have you ever once managed to get an employer to agree to the pay option?
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May 17, 2014 04:42
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I am not a drug user, but would refuse a drug test on principle. People have asked me what if it was my dream job, and I feel like it would be impossible for it to be my dream job if I had to give them bodily fluids or various bio-detritus in order to work there.
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May 17, 2014 11:21
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I honestly don't give a poo poo. We're a manufacturing facility, so I understand drug tests and if they want to make it fair across the board, so be it.
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May 17, 2014 14:16
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It's basically not a thing to drug test people here.quote:The Code states that it is public policy in Ontario to recognize the inherent dignity and worth of every person and to provide for equal rights and opportunities without discrimination. The provisions of the Code are aimed at creating a climate of understanding and mutual respect for the dignity and worth of each person so that each person feels a part of the community and feels able to contribute to the community.
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May 17, 2014 14:25
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Our president laughed at the CEO of a client who wanted to drug test our staff coming on site. Laughed right in his face.
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May 17, 2014 15:32
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I've been told I didn't have to take a mandatory drug test at the time of hire because after my interview they were sure I was way too boring to be into drugs.
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May 17, 2014 15:55
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Are there any UK chaps here who've had experiences with drug testing? My understanding is that it's a lot more prevalent in the US, but I've only worked at 2 companies since leaving school so 
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May 17, 2014 16:24
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I worked for a US company in the UK and the staff in the US had to go through it, but it was unheard of in the global offices.
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May 17, 2014 16:28
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I've only had to pee in a cup when I was bagging groceries in high school. Apparently, no one cares if you do drugs when you're a software engineer, since most of the code you'll see looks like it was written by someone who was stoned out of their gourd anyway. \/  \/
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May 17, 2014 17:30
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DrAlexanderTobacco posted:Are there any UK chaps here who've had experiences with drug testing? My understanding is that it's a lot more prevalent in the US, but I've only worked at 2 companies since leaving school so Worker's rights here say that you can't fire someone for things that they do in their free time if it doesn't directly affect your work. So, you can snort coke, drink drive and beat your wife at the weekend, but your are sober/clean/non-aggressive from 9-5, you can't be fired. As these tests can't state exactly when you took the drugs, they can't be used for disciplinary reasons.
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May 17, 2014 17:56
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Peeing in a cup makes me laugh. I don't know why but I always wind up laughing and trying not to spill anything.
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May 17, 2014 18:12
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What are you supposed to do after you fill the cup? Finish in the toilet that they poured some blue dye in? I always just kind of awkwardly hold it and go later.
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May 17, 2014 18:13
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