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Cranbe posted:Beep boop I am BFCbot. Kill all infant humans, for they are expensive. Beep boop This post is copied from the MMM forum where it was posted unironically wasn't it
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May 16, 2014 17:28
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Hip Hoptimus Prime posted:
I'll skip right over that miscarriage thing. It's been covered. My wife's extended family is the exact opposite of this. When one of them has something happen, they all trip over themselves trying to give money away. It's like they display wealth by providing for the others. Which, really, is the least bad way to do it. And most of them can shoulder it. It's not like they're any more broke than most American households. The problem is that they keep moving the burden around in ways that hold themselves back. For example, one of them had a sudden need for emergency home repair to the tune of about $5k. Her son dropped out of trade school to "help out." I did nothing because I was young and my in-laws said they covered the repair. Looking back, I can't imagine they had that in cash so they must have financed it. And the cycle continues. There's a subset of them that drop in and out of jobs because their family can help out, and then when they're the ones with the job they help out the others. Sometimes I think most of the reverse money problem that I have my in-laws stems from the fact that we're the only set of kids in that family that hasn't needed support from our parents. But for all my complaints, they do an excellent job of shielding my wife from participating in this cycle. I think it's partially because they don't want us stealing their march. But that's ok by me. I really wouldn't mind helping. But until the cultural(?) problem is resolved, it feels like I'd just be paying for someone else to take a vacation. I've got 15 years before the next one hits college age. Maybe we'll be able to have an impact then.
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May 16, 2014 17:41
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Nail Rat posted:This post is copied from the MMM forum where it was posted unironically wasn't it Ugg, I feel your pain having read that forum. For those not in the know, don't ever read that forum. (Their equivalent topic to this one is okay but that's about it.)
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May 16, 2014 18:22
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Folly posted:giving away money Yeah. I once dated a girl who was a money fountain to her friends, cousin, sister, etc. She made like $12/hr as a massage therapist and didn't get a lot of hours. I had no idea how she was financially surviving. She was paying her adult cousin's $200 electric bill for months on end. Her cousin was in a two income household, had two kids, and was renting an enormous house with a well stocked bar. Husband was into dirt bikes also, which can be one of the most  experiences you can have with vehicles without getting into boats, aircraft, or desert racing. Maybe don't buy as much booze next week and you can keep the lights on in your rented McMansion?That would have been a total dealbreaker for me. Never came up, because (surprise!) there were several other dealbreakers besides 
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May 16, 2014 18:34
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Inept posted:They sound bad with money, but your husband tried to tell her that having a miscarriage and losing her child was for the best? What the gently caress is wrong with him? Because it was and family like that isn't worth keeping anyway.
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May 17, 2014 01:38
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Jeffrey posted:Ugg, I feel your pain having read that forum. For those not in the know, don't ever read that forum. (Their equivalent topic to this one is okay but that's about it.) Is that the dude who can afford to, by won't, buy his daughter braces because he sees it as an unnecessary expense?
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May 17, 2014 03:12
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canyoneer posted:I once dated a girl who was a money fountain to her friends, cousin, sister, etc. She made like $12/hr as a massage therapist and didn't get a lot of hours. I had no idea how she was financially surviving. She does happy endings? The stories of people making relatively bad financial decisions (taking out loans) to help family are the worst. The financially correct decision is to tell them to abandon their families and go full on FYGM. If you're supporting a crack addict, it's a pretty easy decision, but if it's a failed entrepreneur with 2 kids it's a lot harder.
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May 17, 2014 03:51
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I am OK posted:Is that the dude who can afford to, by won't, buy his daughter braces because he sees it as an unnecessary expense? In all fairness, braces are wasted on a lot of people. My wife and I would both have been much better off without braces and with the invested money spent on that crap. You have to wear the retainer basically forever, and if you're a kid/teen, you're not prepared to make that kind of commitment.
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May 17, 2014 03:52
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I am OK posted:Is that the dude who can afford to, by won't, buy his daughter braces because he sees it as an unnecessary expense? I don't think he has a daughter so no. The blogger is fine, though playing a character for sure. The forums there are what are awful.
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May 17, 2014 03:53
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baquerd posted:In all fairness, braces are wasted on a lot of people. My wife and I would both have been much better off without braces and with the invested money spent on that crap. You have to wear the retainer basically forever, and if you're a kid/teen, you're not prepared to make that kind of commitment. We could never afford braces when I was a teen. Admittedly, I have an overbite and weird spacing, but it just wasn't something my family could handle. My great-grandmother was raising me on social security, Navy pension from my great grandfather, and child support, all for $1300 a month (in 1997 dollars). It couldn't be done. And at 32, I still can't afford it and have no desire for metal in my mouth. Dentists hassled me about getting braces ALL the time...until I was 20, then they magically stopped bothering. Now if a dentist brings them up, I know they're trying to scam me. I had one bring them up last year (new dental plan, new dentist) but they were also telling me I needed 3 root canals, a mouth guard, and a bunch of other poo poo to the tune of $3200, plus they tried to start one of the root canals while I was in the chair. At that point I left, called my DMO to see if they'd cover a second opinion, and got a much better dentist who quoted 1/2 the work at 1/6 of the price. The guy has never brought up braces directly, which makes me trust him more.
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May 17, 2014 04:35
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baquerd posted:In all fairness, braces are wasted on a lot of people. My wife and I would both have been much better off without braces and with the invested money spent on that crap. You have to wear the retainer basically forever, and if you're a kid/teen, you're not prepared to make that kind of commitment. Plenty of teens, including me, make that commitment.
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May 17, 2014 04:48
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I am OK posted:Plenty of teens, including me, make that commitment. For reals. My retainer's a permanent out-of-the-way fixture in my lower mouth (well, was until most of it ripped out a decade later when I bit into a hard pear). And I'm really glad I got them, because my smile definitely looks so much better with them. I even heard my parents saying once in a different language I don't speak that they were glad they got me braces, because it was better than my brother's smile for whom they didn't get them. I didn't have to speak the language to know what they were saying.
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May 17, 2014 05:21
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I'm so happy my parents got me braces. They were divorced and both living paycheck-to-paycheck. Braces weren't covered by my dental insurance so they paid out of pocket. I got them after seventh grade and I was ecstatic, even though they hurt. I wore head gear at night for the first year because my teeth were so bad, and I was grateful to do so. I was glad that I didn't have to be self-conscious of my hosed up teeth anymore. I had braces through my senior year of high school and still have a permanent retainer glued to the inside of my bottom teeth. Their decision to pay out of pocket for my braces was definitely a good one for my development. Edit: And has had a huge impact upon my quality of life as an adult. fork bomb fucked around with this message at 07:29 on May 17, 2014 |
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May 17, 2014 06:40
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baquerd posted:In all fairness, braces are wasted on a lot of people. My wife and I would both have been much better off without braces and with the invested money spent on that crap. You have to wear the retainer basically forever, and if you're a kid/teen, you're not prepared to make that kind of commitment. Sounds like you and your wife were retarded kids and you shouldn't project that onto the millions of kids who benefit from braces.
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May 17, 2014 07:18
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blackmet posted:plus they tried to start one of the root canals while I was in the chair. At that point I'd be doing dental work on him.
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May 17, 2014 07:21
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I dunno if this counts as bad with money or just me being frustrated, but people that intentionally and consistently reject debit cards from their bank. As some of you may know, I deal in insurance sales and the best way to get a policy started (or really anything) over the phone or internet is to use the tried and true debit card. Yet every day folks will say " I don't have a debit card, I don't believe in them". It breaks my brain when I hear that because even the smallest credit union will offer a debit card. Now, I'm not saying you need to have one and use it willy nilly, but why not have one if its free? Just keep it tucked away for when you DO need to have it for a purchase. To answer my own question, and why I think its more a bad with money thing, is that people don't trust themselves not to swipe that thing at their earliest convenience. So that makes them bad with money and cuts them off from doing business with most legitimate not-scammy businesses.
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May 17, 2014 13:42
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Jastiger posted:To answer my own question, and why I think its more a bad with money thing, is that people don't trust themselves not to swipe that thing at their earliest convenience. So that makes them bad with money and cuts them off from doing business with most legitimate not-scammy businesses. I don't know, seems to me like taking measures so you don't spend money casually is the very definition of being good with money. Sorry you were inconvenienced. (I have my insurance auto-bill to my credit card, because cashback)
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May 17, 2014 13:45
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Thousands of dollars so your kid can (maybe) find a more attractive mate? Might as well throw that money out the window. They'll learn more by conquering their insecurities and growing up like a normal person. If they really need them, they can grow up, get the adult braces on their own dime, and marry in their thirties when their relationship actually stands a chance . BFC for the generations.
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May 17, 2014 13:48
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MrKatharsis posted:Thousands of dollars so your kid can (maybe) find a more attractive mate? Might as well throw that money out the window. They'll learn more by conquering their insecurities and growing up like a normal person. Nah that's more like autistic goon for the generations.
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May 17, 2014 13:56
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FrozenVent posted:I don't know, seems to me like taking measures so you don't spend money casually is the very definition of being good with money. Sorry you were inconvenienced. If that was the way it worked out, I may agree with you. What it usually means is that instead of the debit card to make a few bigger purchases, cash holders have it burn a hole in their pocket and it just goes away much more quickly. On braces: I wish I had them. Having solid teeth is such a big deal, particularly for employment. Never underestimate that.
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May 17, 2014 14:07
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MrKatharsis posted:Thousands of dollars so your kid can (maybe) find a more attractive mate? Might as well throw that money out the window. They'll learn more by conquering their insecurities and growing up like a normal person. Having a nice smile that I use a lot, thanks to braces, has significantly contributed to my career success (raises and promotions). I typically agree with rejecting cosmetic surgery over learning how to have a good character despite a goofy nose, but your smile is kind of a different league. The way your smile makes others feel has profound impacts on your life, more than just finding a partner. Braces are good. Unless you get them taken off after 2 days cause they hurt, to the tune of $6000. That's bad.
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May 17, 2014 14:08
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I had a pretty drastic overbite as a child and am extremely thankful that my parents made me get braces. I hated the headgear, I hated the retainer, I hated the metal slicing up the inside of my lips, I hated braces being tightened. I know I would have hated having hosed up teeth more than any of that though.
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May 17, 2014 14:49
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Jastiger posted:I dunno if this counts as bad with money or just me being frustrated, but people that intentionally and consistently reject debit cards from their bank. I have a debit card because banks pretty much force you to get one, but I never use it. If there is fraud, that money actually comes out of your bank account until the bank settles the fraud charge and since they usually double as an ATM card, good luck getting cash while waiting for the new new card. I do use credit cards, since they have greater protection, but I suppose you're complaining about people with neither. last laugh fucked around with this message at 20:30 on May 17, 2014 |
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May 17, 2014 15:46
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Jastiger posted:I dunno if this counts as bad with money or just me being frustrated, but people that intentionally and consistently reject debit cards from their bank. You don't take credit cards? I use credit cards to pay for all my insurance. If someone pushed for a debit card number, I would say that I didn't have one because I want my goddamn 2% cash back.
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May 17, 2014 15:50
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MrKatharsis posted:Thousands of dollars so your kid can (maybe) find a more attractive mate? Might as well throw that money out the window. They'll learn more by conquering their insecurities and growing up like a normal person. But to use your own logic against you...making your kid wear a hideous mouth full of braces while they're in their reckless teenage years may keep them from being social butterflies until their early twenties, well after they've made it through middleschool and most of highschool. Instead of going on dates and getting pregnant, these metal-mouthed losers have only their books and computers as friends. They get good grades while it matters, and once they're in college and braces-free then they can start to find more mature sexual relationships.
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May 17, 2014 15:50
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fruition posted:But to use your own logic against you...making your kid wear a hideous mouth full of braces while they're in their reckless teenage years may keep them from being social butterflies until their early twenties, well after they've made it through middleschool and most of highschool. Instead of going on dates and getting pregnant, these metal-mouthed losers have only their books and computers as friends. They get good grades while it matters, and once they're in college and braces-free then they can start to find more mature sexual relationships. Haha as if grades in high school matter.
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May 17, 2014 16:13
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tuyop posted:Haha as if grades in high school matter.
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May 17, 2014 16:21
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Haifisch posted:They matter to the extent that they effect the college you get into...which only matters if it's a really elite school or if it's one your future bosses went to(or if your grades were so terrible that you couldn't get into college at all). Yes, high school grades matter to the extent that they're good enough. Performance goals (high grades, honour roll, competition) are linked to pretty much every negative educational outcome. And think about your work, if you have someone who just wants to fulfill the requirements of a project, they're no fun to work with. You want someone who likes the project and likes doing well at something because it's intrinsically valuable to them. Focusing on grades doesn't train the good type of person.
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May 17, 2014 16:48
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fruition posted:But to use your own logic against you...making your kid wear a hideous mouth full of braces while they're in their reckless teenage years may keep them from being social butterflies until their early twenties, well after they've made it through middleschool and most of highschool. I'm pretty sure no one in middle school/high school cares if you have braces anymore, because so many kids have them at some point. Yesterday, my coworker was complaining about how her 24 year old son didn't pay his car payment on time because he "didn't get around to it", so she had to pay it for him to avoid the late fees AGAIN. I suggested that maybe she shouldn't bail him out like that, but she told me she had to, because the car was in her name, due to the fact that her son's credit score is so screwed up (he's already done the jail/rehab/halfway house thing a couple times) that he can't get a real bank account and has to get his paycheck deposited onto a prepaid Visa card that has a ton of rules and fees. I wanted to ask how she expected this to turn out but that seemed kind of rude.
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May 17, 2014 16:54
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jeffsleepy posted:You don't take credit cards? I use credit cards to pay for all my insurance. If someone pushed for a debit card number, I would say that I didn't have one because I want my goddamn 2% cash back. Oh absolutely we do. But, the same people that go cash only tend not to have credit cards either. There are always exceptions though. last laugh posted:I have a debit card because banks pretty much force you to get one, but I never use it. If there is fraud, that money actually comes out of your bank account until the bank settles the fraud charge and since they usually double as an ATM card, good luck getting cash while waiting for the new new card. I do use credit cards, since they have greater protection, but I suppose you're complaint about people with neither. Its more like " I want to buy <thing> but I can't since I have no plastic so I'll pay a higher price in cash at the shady local place for <thing>" and it ends up costing more than if you just did the auto draft/credit/debit thing.
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May 17, 2014 17:05
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MrKatharsis posted:Thousands of dollars so your kid can (maybe) find a more attractive mate? Might as well throw that money out the window. They'll learn more by conquering their insecurities and growing up like a normal person. A lot of the structural problems that get corrected when you're younger with braces have to be done by surgery when you're an adult.
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May 17, 2014 17:07
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I think we can all agree that braces are mostly cool but at the end of the day you can choose not to get them and (your kid) just live with the consequences. Braces chat blows.
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May 17, 2014 17:15
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My mom has a debit card but has no idea how to use it. She just writes checks for everything. If she orders something online, she knows how to use the card, but the actual swiping of the card and pressing buttons on the machine confuses her. She also has no idea what her pin number is. She has no problem at places that just take the card and swipe it for her, though.
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May 17, 2014 18:21
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This debit card chat makes other places (America?) sound very different from the places I've lived in Canada. I've never met an adult who hasn't had a bank account with a debit card that they use regularly pretty much their whole employed life. The only difference is that some people remember a time when debit cards didn't exist and some people don't because they weren't alive. I kind of get it with online banking because there's a barrier to entry there, but dealing solely in cash and cheques seems so  that it's actually really interesting.
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May 17, 2014 18:31
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tuyop posted:This debit card chat makes other places (America?) sound very different from the places I've lived in Canada. I've never met an adult who hasn't had a bank account with a debit card that they use regularly pretty much their whole employed life. The only difference is that some people remember a time when debit cards didn't exist and some people don't because they weren't alive. They're crazy people. I'm sure Canada has then too
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May 17, 2014 18:35
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Right it is totally to me which is why I brought it up.
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May 17, 2014 19:03
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Jeffrey posted:I don't think he has a daughter so no. The blogger is fine, though playing a character for sure. The forums there are what are awful. Dude you can't just keep saying this and not drop some quotes
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May 17, 2014 21:13
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Dangit Ronpaul posted:Dude you can't just keep saying this and not drop some quotes Eh mostly it has nothing to do with finances - if I had good ones about being too insanely frugal I'd post them but I don't want to turn this thread into "other forums.txt" about whatever other random topic. I haven't been there in awhile.
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May 17, 2014 23:41
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Jeffrey posted:I don't think he has a daughter so no. The blogger is fine, though playing a character for sure. The forums there are what are awful. What do you mean by playing a character - is he a farce? Are his yearly budgets falsified? As for the forums my main problem is it's all a bunch of libertarians arguing about how the poor need to learn to love being poor or just bootstrap themselves up and you don't deserve medical care if you're not rich.
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May 18, 2014 00:12
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tuyop posted:This debit card chat makes other places (America?) sound very different from the places I've lived in Canada. I've never met an adult who hasn't had a bank account with a debit card that they use regularly pretty much their whole employed life. The only difference is that some people remember a time when debit cards didn't exist and some people don't because they weren't alive. When I lived in Canada I noticed that credit cards were widely used but not nearly as much as in the USA. Debit really did seem like king, there. I found Canadian benefits programs seemed to be more focused on memberships to specific businesses (Co-Op, President's Choice, WestJet) with some bank cash-back cards thrown in from the banks. I think Scotiabank had one. Comparitively, the US credit industry is ripe with cards offered by airlines, hotels, and banks with spending incentives. Most of my junk mail is credit card applications that get tossed right into the shredder. I seem to remember Canadian debit cards being a lot more secure, though. Doesn't TD use chip-and-pin? Am I crazy?  Part of the reason why people in the States might be more averse to debit was covered by somebody above, talking about the lack of security features. The rest of the people who use checks are insane and have no excuse unless they were born before 1950. Everyone else who doesn't have a debit card is unfortunately probably too poor to have a bank account (and probably relies on check-cashing/payday loans). I did know somebody up in Canada who didn't have a bank account, but she was an east-van punk type who eschewed both capitalism and basic hygiene. There are always outliers.
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May 18, 2014 02:01
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