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Well, it's a bit different for dudes, because of the prostate, which does feel nice when stimulated.
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May 20, 2014 08:01
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When I was experimenting with my partner ^, I just lubed her up and slapped it in. Ymmv though. Sidenote: Apparently my girlfriend is ok with tongues, but only if she is on top. Which is better then before, which was no tongues ever.
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May 20, 2014 08:05
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Turtlicious posted:When I was experimenting with my partner ^, I just lubed her up and slapped it in. Ymmv though. Haha, I've been reading this thread for awhile and I'm happy you're making progress!
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May 20, 2014 16:29
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hoobajoo posted:I don't have any direct experience, but having seen it before, make sure you are always honestly communicating. However much you talk about the relationship, double it, because that's the only way to make sure you're both happy about it, or how to fix it if one person is unhappy. Also make sure to still set aside a good amount of time to be intimate together, if not always in a sexual way. Basically, if you both work really hard and are honest it could be pretty cool, but takes a lot of honesty and introspection to pull it off. If anyone has any stories about their experiences with this (or a close friend's), I would love to hear about them. Wraith of J.O.I. fucked around with this message at 19:25 on May 20, 2014 |
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May 20, 2014 19:20
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Coming to this from a place of "I feel like I owe him sex every time he wants sex" is not a good sign. What happens when you start loving a girl who's just as cute, just as smart (whatever) as your girlfriend but also wants sex all the time? Since she won't be going outside the relationship, what happens when you're hooking up with other girls and she's sitting around alone at home, feeling inadequate, and with nothing to look forward to? There are okay places to start poly from, but this isn't one.
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May 20, 2014 23:08
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i like nice words
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Anne Whateley posted:Coming to this from a place of "I feel like I owe him sex every time he wants sex" is not a good sign. Anne Whateley posted:What happens when you start loving a girl who's just as cute, just as smart (whatever) as your girlfriend but also wants sex all the time?
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May 20, 2014 23:37
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Turtlicious posted:When I was experimenting with my partner ^, I just lubed her up and slapped it in. Ymmv though. Maybe it just varies, but that can be a really bad way to do anal and it's better to err on the side of caution there rather than just "use a little lube and slap it on in." I've been with people who do that and it can really be the worst.
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May 20, 2014 23:41
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Kimmalah posted:Maybe it just varies, but that can be a really bad way to do anal and it's better to err on the side of caution there rather than just "use a little lube and slap it on in." I've been with people who do that and it can really be the worst. Yah was really surprised to see that. It's my anecdote but the best approach usually seemed to be to play with her butt when eating and then slowly slowly work from there. An ex was literally 30 years old and divorced and was absolutely stunned when she found that 'hey things are kinda connected down there'. She had never ever considered anal but after a few dozen toe curling orgasims it was her that asked for anal. But even then, it was very very slow progress to be careful not to ruin it with hurting her. This one in particular was the most uptight woman I have ever been with and even she would be like 'hey... neighbor??' as the code word for she wanted to sit on it her way. As always, YMMV.
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May 21, 2014 03:31
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Wraith of J.O.I. posted:Anyone have any experience with opening up relationships/becoming "monogamish"? My girlfriend and I have been together for close to a year and a half, are currently living together and having issues with different libidos. Hers is a lot lower than mine, and while right now it's not a huge issue, it is starting to cause some conflict. When we talked about it, she asked how I'd feel about opening the relationship up, specifically me potentially finding a gently caress buddy or what have you. I said I wasn't sure how I feel about it, and she said she isn't totally sure how she would, but I'm thinking more that it might be a good idea if done right. Anybody have any tips, experience, advice, etc in this area? This will pretty much become most relationships (In my opinion). I don't understand it but as someone in their early 40's (yes im yucky and old) this has been my experience and I have been in a lot of them. I am married to a woman that makes jessica rabbit look prepubescent and yet we just aren't making love like we used to, just like every drat relationship I have been in. Thats why a lot of married folks are having sex with each other on the side. We stay married but still gently caress each other whenever we can. Sure you can get a new woman/man, but there you will be again. My experience may be different from others, but basically everyone is loving everyone else once in a long term relationship or marriage when you have a strong libido and need the spark and butterflies of something new. Call me a horrible person, but I have no clue how folks keep the same partners exclusively for 20-40 years.
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May 21, 2014 04:04
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Herv posted:This will pretty much become most relationships (In my opinion). I don't understand it but as someone in their early 40's (yes im yucky and old) this has been my experience and I have been in a lot of them. Whats it like being unable to overcome a bodily urge on the level of pissing in your bed while sleeping?
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May 21, 2014 06:12
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Herv posted:This will pretty much become most relationships (In my opinion). I don't understand it but as someone in their early 40's (yes im yucky and old) this has been my experience and I have been in a lot of them. I don't quite understand, is this you talking about why you have an open relationship, or you rationalizing your cheating?
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May 21, 2014 07:39
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Shine posted:Either send xir pictures of xour dick or don't you nerd. You know, my first thought was that they might not be 100% cool with me responding to a flowery, vivid description of how badly they want to be hosed in the fitting room of the clothes store they're currently in with a pic of my dong, but I couldn't come up with anything so I pretty much just said gently caress it and took your advice and holy poo poo that actually worked  e: jesus I am lucky now that I think about it. SALT CURES HAM fucked around with this message at 11:08 on May 21, 2014 |
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May 21, 2014 11:02
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SALT CURES HAM posted:You know, my first thought was that they might not be 100% cool with me responding to a flowery, vivid description of how badly they want to be hosed in the fitting room of the clothes store they're currently in with a pic of my dong, but I couldn't come up with anything so I pretty much just said gently caress it and took your advice and holy poo poo that actually worked Cool man. My girlfriend sends me nude photos sometimes too. I thought I was the only one!
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May 21, 2014 16:50
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SALT CURES HAM posted:You know, my first thought was that they might not be 100% cool with me responding to a flowery, vivid description of how badly they want to be hosed in the fitting room of the clothes store they're currently in with a pic of my dong, but I couldn't come up with anything so I pretty much just said gently caress it and took your advice and holy poo poo that actually worked My experience has always been that, as it turns out, girls love sex as much as guys and that extends to every aspect of it. I love getting random dirty texts and pictures from my girlfriend, so why wouldn't she? (She does) It can be tempting to otherize other people, even people we love. Fight the urge! satanic splash-back posted:Whats it like being unable to overcome a bodily urge on the level of pissing in your bed while sleeping? Dude there is nothing wrong with having sexual urges different from yours. If monogamy isn't for him, who are you to tell him he's wrong? gently caress off with that self-centric bullshit.
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May 21, 2014 23:23
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Mak0rz posted:Cool man. My girlfriend sends me nude photos sometimes too. I thought I was the only one! It's not that I think that's an uncommon thing to do, it's more that I'm getting the impression that the person I'm dating has a very, very, very high sex drive. Which is loving awesome because the last person I dated had a fairly low one. Warchicken posted:My experience has always been that, as it turns out, girls love sex as much as guys and that extends to every aspect of it. I love getting random dirty texts and pictures from my girlfriend, so why wouldn't she? (She does) I mean, it wasn't necessarily that I figured a dick pic would always go over badly or that my SO doesn't like dick pics or anything, it just felt like a really  response to something that they clearly thought a lot about.
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May 22, 2014 02:44
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DepoProvera fucked around with this message at 21:55 on Apr 12, 2016 |
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May 22, 2014 02:50
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SALT CURES HAM posted:I mean, it wasn't necessarily that I figured a dick pic would always go over badly or that my SO doesn't like dick pics or anything, it just felt like a really Thing is, 'holy poo poo, look at how hard that made me' is probably at least part of the response they were trying to elicit, so a dick pic there is actually pretty appropriate. (some sort of effort text back too probably would have gone over just as well, but if they're writing heavy duty erotic stuff at you, they want to give you a boner)
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May 22, 2014 03:19
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DepoProvera posted:I'm in a relationship of a year and a half. I have quite an anxiety about her orgasming. I'd start by saying: "My previous relationship ended quite badly with her telling me I was terrible at oral and that she had faked every orgasm. I know this is silly/stupid, but I worry that I'm not satisfying you. Is there anything you would like to try or start doing differently?" You've been in a relationship for a year and a half, so you should be able to talk to her about it.
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May 22, 2014 03:22
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Your current girlfriend is not your last one so she's going to get rightfully offended if you mistrust her because of some spiteful petty drama from the last one. Make your concerns clear and get rid of that baggage.
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May 22, 2014 05:39
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If you want a partner to tell you something like that, the way to do it isn't to badger them TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME IT BOTHERS ME TELL ME, it's to do what you can to make them super comfortable being honest with you.
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May 22, 2014 05:42
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"Hey, my last partner was mean and deceitful about sex, so I have some trust issues that I'm working through. I'm doing my best to not let it effect me now, but I'm not perfect and may slip up from time to time. I don't want to bug you every time we have sex about whether or not you came, but I want you to know that you can always talk to me openly about what you want in the bedroom. I promise that I'll be honest with you so that we have good communication."
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May 22, 2014 05:45
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Warchicken posted:Dude there is nothing wrong with having sexual urges different from yours. If monogamy isn't for him, who are you to tell him he's wrong? gently caress off with that self-centric bullshit. There is something wrong when not containing those urges violates the other partner's trust and expectations. It's not clear from the guy's post that sleeping around was an accepted part of the marriage. If it is, whatever that's fine. If it's secret cheating then it's incredibly lovely and selfish.
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May 22, 2014 14:03
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Dude is posting about it on the internet, where nothing gets erased, I'm pretty sure he's not hiding anything.
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May 22, 2014 15:44
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DepoProvera posted:I'm in a relationship of a year and a half. I have quite an anxiety about her orgasming. Your ex is to blame for her own lack of satisfaction. In a healthy relationship, people communicate to one another about what they need to get off. Its not your responsibility to try and guess since everyone (especially women it seems) are pretty diverse in what works for them. If you are asking your current partner if she is satisfied/if there is anything else she needs, thats all you can do. If she cares about her own pleasure in any way, she'll be honest about it. As for making sure shes comfortable talking about it, don't do that thing some guys do where they interrogate you about your orgasm right after sex is finished. Keep it casual and nonjudgemental, just a "hey that was fun, is there anything you'd like more in the future." Also, don't get upset if she doesn't orgasm each time as some people don't orgasm each time and still enjoy having sex. I've been with guys in the past who are so concerned about my ability to orgasm and who have gotten upset if I don't, that the pressure and expectation makes me tense and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Corley fucked around with this message at 16:34 on May 22, 2014 |
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May 22, 2014 16:23
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DepoProvera posted:I'm in a relationship of a year and a half. I have quite an anxiety about her orgasming. I think the advice you've been given here so far is on the money. With things like this, and really all aspects of relationships, communication is the most important factor. Though I would add that if you are communicating, but you still find yourself having issues, you should seek some form of counselling. Therapy gets a bad rap most of the time, but I really think in a lot of cases it can help you sort your poo poo out and gain some perspective. I'm not saying that you'd need to go everyday, but as someone who struggled with some semi-related issues for a long time, that's the thing that I found helped the most because I tend to get stuck in my own head. Its also helpful if you both try a form of therapy, if you both feel you need/want to. It will help you both air your feelings and make sense of what each of you are dealing with as a result of what is going on.
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May 23, 2014 02:19
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I guess not looking at porn has definitely helped this last week. I was more or less able to stay hard this time and actually come. We did lots of foreplay too. So it was fun. I'm sure next time will be even less anxiety inducing.
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May 23, 2014 07:44
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DepoProvera posted:I'm in a relationship of a year and a half. I have quite an anxiety about her orgasming. You could just speak to her (when you're not loving, that's probably key) about it. Tell her what's making you nervous, and ask her to always, always be honest with you about it. I don't see why it's a big deal. A CRAB IRL fucked around with this message at 16:31 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 16:29
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What does a man do when his girl's stank stinks? I'm not talking about vagina, I've gotten over that entirely, I can handle any level of that, but I'm talking about the other hole, when you bend her over and the stench just wafes on up and before you know it, I'm limp and we're not working anymore. I mean, it is overpowering like "has not wiped today or showered" kind of overpowering. I mean, honesty is nice, but how do you honestly say "um, did you wipe today?" That is the kind of thing that you cannot tell a woman because she will be thinking about it every time and that's not kind. What's that stuff the morticians put under their noses to keep from smelling the dead bodies? Would that be strong enough?
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May 23, 2014 17:43
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pathetic little tramp posted:What does a man do when his girl's stank stinks? I'm not talking about vagina, I've gotten over that entirely, I can handle any level of that, but I'm talking about the other hole, when you bend her over and the stench just wafes on up and before you know it, I'm limp and we're not working anymore. I mean, it is overpowering like "has not wiped today or showered" kind of overpowering. You're not the first person to run into the dreaded doggy butt smell, but it's probably not a result of her ability to wipe her rear end. A butt has a ton of sweat glands and lymph nodes and it's dark and hot and the skin is pressed together, so bacteria can thrive and produce strong odors. Diet and things like how breathable her underwear/pants are can also be factors. Keep a box of scented baby wipes handy and if the smell is bothering you, tell her you're sensitive to crotch sweat smell and ask if you can wipe off the area. You can also suggest taking a shower together beforehand, though that won't always be an option. For goodness' sake do not suggest she has poo poo all over her butt because she doesn't know how to wipe herself. If there was actually poop there you'd be able to see it. Mechafunkzilla fucked around with this message at 18:13 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 18:09
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Mechafunkzilla posted:For goodness' sake do not suggest she has poo poo all over her butt because she doesn't know how to wipe herself. New thread title.
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May 23, 2014 19:01
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pathetic little tramp posted:What does a man do when his girl's stank stinks? I'm not talking about vagina, I've gotten over that entirely, I can handle any level of that, but I'm talking about the other hole, when you bend her over and the stench just wafes on up and before you know it, I'm limp and we're not working anymore. I mean, it is overpowering like "has not wiped today or showered" kind of overpowering. Um, respect yourself enough to not be with someone who doesn't respect themselves enough to take a goddamned shower? And if she's taking basic hygiene steps and still stinks that bad, she should probably see a doctor. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're not exaggerating and it is beyond the normal bodily odors we all have. If it's just a musk or sweat, get over it. hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 19:03 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 19:01
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Yeah, if the issue is actually "doesn't shower regularly enough"...then just don't date that person, ew.
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May 23, 2014 19:04
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If you can't have that conversation with her then you should rethink being in a relationship at all. If my girlfriend had an issue like that I would tell her. Sometimes people have those kinds of issues, and it would destroy her self confidence forever if she found out later you have been "putting up with" a thing like that. It would make her think back to all the good experiences she's had with you and feel ashamed of them and be unable to be comfortable with her own body because you saying she's sexy and everything is great could be a total lie and you're just suffering through it. When an issue comes up, address it. Don't hide it, don't talk to other people first. Talk to her.
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May 23, 2014 21:43
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If he says "btw you reek" now that's exactly what she's going to feel already. It depends on the context. If it's a warm day and you've been running around doing stuff all day, don't be surprised if someone's not as fresh as a daisy at the end of it. If you initiate then, you take your chances. Initiate after a shower -- it can't be the same then, right?
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May 23, 2014 21:48
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Warchicken posted:If you can't have that conversation with her then you should rethink being in a relationship at all. If my girlfriend had an issue like that I would tell her. Sometimes people have those kinds of issues, and it would destroy her self confidence forever if she found out later you have been "putting up with" a thing like that. It would make her think back to all the good experiences she's had with you and feel ashamed of them and be unable to be comfortable with her own body because you saying she's sexy and everything is great could be a total lie and you're just suffering through it. Its strange, you actually sound like a normal reasonable person when you aren't in other threads talking about how all cops should be put to death and comparing them to literal Nazis who shoved Jews into gas chambers. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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May 23, 2014 21:58
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Papercut posted:New thread title. Sex Questions Megathread III: Please shut the gently caress up about your stink
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May 23, 2014 23:50
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Basebf555 posted:Its strange, you actually sound like a normal reasonable person when you aren't in other threads talking about how all cops should be put to death and comparing them to literal Nazis who shoved Jews into gas chambers. I'm right a lot, what can I say? 
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May 24, 2014 05:44
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Mechafunkzilla posted:You're not the first person to run into the dreaded doggy butt smell, but it's probably not a result of her ability to wipe her rear end. A butt has a ton of sweat glands and lymph nodes and it's dark and hot and the skin is pressed together, so bacteria can thrive and produce strong odors. Diet and things like how breathable her underwear/pants are can also be factors. Whenever there is the remotest possibility of canoodling, I make sure to at least wipe both holes just in case - baby wipes are handy to have around. If it's totally spontaneous, or I forgot to clean up, or if I had no access to cleaning items, I warn my partner. And if I smell bad, I sure as hell want to be told about it - I'll clean up post haste and we can start over. It's just common courtesy to be proactive about smell and overall cleanliness since we are humans and this poo poo happens. Sometimes my dude has been kinda rank, especially for morning sex before he's showered. If it's too bad to proceed (plus, cleaner cocks make for happier lady parts), I'll say "yo, you didn't shower yet, can you just quick wash up your crotch?" and he'll go do that. I may wash up as well if needed, otherwise I'll warm up/primp/etc while waiting. It's not difficult to communicate effectively: Don't be a jerk about telling stuff to your partner and don't be butthurt about receiving similar info, especially when conveyed in a non-jerky fashion.
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May 27, 2014 02:16
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Does anyone here have experience dealing with crabs? Best brand for treatment, etc? I've never had an STD before but I did have head lice and it seems like they're pretty much the same.
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May 28, 2014 00:40
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The Duck of Death posted:Does anyone here have experience dealing with crabs? Best brand for treatment, etc? Crabs are literally just lice on your business parts. You handle it in pretty much the same way, except you don't need to call all the people you rubbed your head on when you get lice.
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May 28, 2014 00:52
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