The Best (Worst) Of Conservapedia

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > The Best (Worst) Of Conservapedia

RoyKeen: Jul 24, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Blarghalt posted:

I hope they realize Gary Larson has specifically asked people to not posts his comics on the internet.

Well that's not like some binding legal agreement. At best, you're being nice if you don't post one of his comics but there's no reason not to. Especially if you want to show an example of his work. It's perfectly fine and won't kill him.

# ? May 16, 2014 21:03

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 10, 2024 23:14

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

Berke Negri posted:

The Bible isn't supposed to be any of those things. Also Paul isn't really expressing sexual/gender values that would be too alien to Romans at the time who also often struggled between the dissonance of being humans who liked to gently caress and the values of being virtuous stoic unfeeling manly war robots with obedient chaste wives.

It's almost like SocketWrech rarely knows what the gently caress he's talking about when he's laying down thoughtbombs about the Bible and religion.

# ? May 16, 2014 21:03

SocketWrench: Jul 8, 2012; by Fritz the Horse

Berke Negri posted:

The Bible isn't supposed to be any of those things. Also Paul isn't really expressing sexual/gender values that would be too alien to Romans at the time who also often struggled between the dissonance of being humans who liked to gently caress and the values of being virtuous stoic unfeeling manly war robots with obedient chaste wives.

edit: A Republican would probably be right at home in Rome as you get to be a self-absorbed rear end walking around with the pretense of "rugged self control" and a wife who knows their place and you can have gay sex as long as your partner is just a thing you put your dick into and not anyone you have feelings for or talk about in public. And if you think your daughter is a whore you can just exile her to an ~~liberal arts college~~ island in the Black Sea and pretend she is dead to you.

As Paul wrote �All Scripture is God-breathed, and profitable for teaching, correction, training in righteousness, that the man of God may be equipped for every good work.�

# ? May 16, 2014 23:59

tacodaemon: Nov 27, 2006

http://www.conservapedia.com/Obama%27s_Religion

Opening sentence: "Public opinion polls show that despite liberal denial, at least one in five or 17% of Americans recognize that Barack Hussein Obama is a Muslim."

# ? May 17, 2014 00:53

Binowru: Feb 15, 2007; I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.

tacodaemon posted:

at least one in five or 17%

Honestly I can't get over their horrible math.

# ? May 17, 2014 02:20

Fly: Nov 3, 2002; moral compass

Twelve by Pies posted:

Nah, you have to remember a lot of Christian theology is inspired by Paul and the authors of other various letters to churches at the time. Jesus may have condemned only those who refuse to help the poor to Hell, but Paul was happy to say things like, for example,

For clarification, the thing I remembered not-so-well was actually Andy talking about the parable of the talents being a "free market" parable. Anyway, the guy who doesn't invest well has his money taken away, and he is cast "into darkness," but note that this is not the same hell or Hades mentioned elsewhere full of torment and eternal fire, such as in the parable of the sheep and the goats or the parable of the rich man and Lazarus. Reading the darkness as the same thing as eternal torment or hell-fire doesn't leave God any room for nuance, but it does fit into rigid either-or thinking about who is good and who is bad.

# ? May 17, 2014 04:08

TapTheForwardAssist: Apr 9, 2007; Pretty Little Lyres

tacodaemon posted:

http://www.conservapedia.com/Obama%27s_Religion

Opening sentence: "Public opinion polls show that despite liberal denial, at least one in five or 17% of Americans recognize that Barack Hussein Obama is a Muslim."

I'd forgotten about this one: even by CP standards this one is absolutely ridiculous for the sheer grasping-at-straws to form any kind of argument on what is (to them) a vitally important issue. It's just incredibly pedantic over-analysis of the most minute things and then flying leaps of reasoning:

quote:

In prepared remarks in April 2012, Obama referred to Jesus as "a" Son of God rather than as "the" Son of God: "And for me, and I�m sure for some of you, it�s also a chance to remember the tremendous sacrifice that led up to that day, and all that Christ endured�not just as a Son of God, but as a human being."[7]
...
Obama's unusual selection of Chuck Hagel, a former Republican senator most sympathetic to Muslim positions in the Middle East, to be Secretary of Defense despite intense objections by both political parties. Iranian State Press approves of the choice. [21]
...
In 2007, while Obama was a candidate, the White House military office assigned him the Secret Service code name "Renegade".[28] "Renegade" conventionally describes someone who goes against normal conventions of behavior, but its first usage was to describe someone who has turned from their religion. It is a word derived from the Spanish renegado, which originally meant "Christian turned Muslim."[29]

I could go on and on, but it's a list of a few dozen bits of similar absurdity. Some of it stretches Poe's Law, but I do see what looks like embarassed attempts by other CP writers to caveat the flights of fancy:

quote:

Obama favors Pakistan, a Muslim nation, in its conflicts with India, a mostly Hindu nation.[34] However, the Obama Administration's relationship with Pakistan could be driven by its critical role in the battle against al-Qaeda in Afghanistan.
...
In 2010, while Obama was president, the Missile Defense Agency changed its logo, incorporating a crescent and star.[51] The new logo closely resembles that of the Iranian Space Agency.[52] The new logo was designed in 2007, prior to Obama's election as president.

EDIT: Sweet mother mercy, I checked the Talk page and even Conservative thinks this page is ridiculous. Yet Andy defends even the stupidest bits of it. Is this one of the few occasions where Conservative is notably more rational that Schlafly?

quote:

Also, this sentence is too broad: "Obama's background, education, and outlook are Muslim." It clearly ignores his black liberation theology church attendance, his atheist mother, Columbia and Harvard education and his secular progressive like stances on social issues (homosexuality, etc.). Obama fits a heretical liberal Christianity outlook far more than a Muslim outlook. Historical evidence is weighed in context and not through cherry picking. Conservative 15:42, 11 August 2011 (EDT)

TapTheForwardAssist fucked around with this message at 04:57 on May 17, 2014

# ? May 17, 2014 04:52

Twelve by Pies: May 4, 2012; Again a very likpatous story

SocketWrench posted:

As Paul wrote �All Scripture is God-breathed, and profitable for teaching, correction, training in righteousness, that the man of God may be equipped for every good work.�

Paul did write that but regardless of how modern Christians feel about his writings, I'm pretty sure Paul did not consider his personal correspondence to the churches of the age as scripture. Paul even directly states a couple of times "Hey this is not any sort of commandment from God or anything this is just me here saying to do this."

Remember that a lot of New Testament books were just that, letters to churches at the time having specific problems. One of the things I've read is that prostitution had a bit of a connection with pagan rituals at the time and thus it's pretty obvious why Paul would be against it. In addition Paul was firmly convinced that the world was ending soon and Jesus would return, and that people should ignore their urges and instead focus entirely on God because nothing else would matter in the upcoming apocalypse.

# ? May 17, 2014 06:32

SocketWrench: Jul 8, 2012; by Fritz the Horse

Twelve by Pies posted:

Paul did write that but regardless of how modern Christians feel about his writings, I'm pretty sure Paul did not consider his personal correspondence to the churches of the age as scripture. Paul even directly states a couple of times "Hey this is not any sort of commandment from God or anything this is just me here saying to do this."

Remember that a lot of New Testament books were just that, letters to churches at the time having specific problems. One of the things I've read is that prostitution had a bit of a connection with pagan rituals at the time and thus it's pretty obvious why Paul would be against it. In addition Paul was firmly convinced that the world was ending soon and Jesus would return, and that people should ignore their urges and instead focus entirely on God because nothing else would matter in the upcoming apocalypse.

So how is this not a guide on how to save your soul?

# ? May 17, 2014 13:58

Blarghalt: May 19, 2010

There's also pretty good evidence to suggest a lot of the stuff written by "Paul" were simply others using his name, quite a few of which had a real bug up their rear end about sexuality.

# ? May 17, 2014 14:14

Political Whores: Feb 13, 2012

SocketWrench posted:

So how is this not a guide on how to save your soul?

In the same way that a history book about the founding fathers is not a how to guide to having a democracy. But that doesn't stop US culture from using the same packet of myths over and over again as a moral guide to society and life. A rationalist, literal interpretation of the bible as some kind of "saving your soul for dummies" really misses the context it was compiled in. There's a reason both the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox church keep the priest as the shamanic go-between for the material and spiritual world. A lot of this stuff was chosen specifically so that it could be used as divinely inspired examples to teach ungraspable truths, not as a bullet point list of the right and wrong things to do. That's really more of a thing various protestant groups bought into, and we all know how that turned out (various flavours of ok, god, or bad, depending on the person you did the interpreting).

# ? May 18, 2014 19:30

SocketWrench: Jul 8, 2012; by Fritz the Horse

Little Blackfly posted:

A lot of this stuff was chosen specifically so that it could be used as divinely inspired examples to teach ungraspable truths, not as a bullet point list of the right and wrong things to do. That's really more of a thing various protestant groups bought into, and we all know how that turned out (various flavours of ok, god, or bad, depending on the person you did the interpreting).

So my point was wrong, where again?
Listen, I realize this is all heading into the no true Scotsman area, but you need to accept a good portion of that particular religion accept the bible as a moral compass and a "how to save yourself" manual. Right or wrong according to you makes no difference, context or not.

# ? May 19, 2014 03:14

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

SocketWrench posted:

So my point was wrong, where again?
Listen, I realize this is all heading into the no true Scotsman area, but you need to accept a good portion of that particular religion accept the bible as a moral compass and a "how to save yourself" manual. Right or wrong according to you makes no difference, context or not.

Many Christians are un- or mis-informed on how to properly treat the Bible, this is true.

# ? May 19, 2014 07:15

Mc Do Well: Aug 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

People who see a book as the alpha and omega of understanding the world are basically practicing idolatry. They worship a physical object instead of engaging the idea of the universe having an architect and purpose beyond human existence.

# ? May 19, 2014 14:48

Orange Fluffy Sheep: Jul 26, 2008; Bad EXP received

quote:

Religious Americans will keep fighting for traditional marriage.[5] Liberals can't change God's word which declares homosexuality an abomination and an unnatural, degrading passion.

The section should be renamed "In the news: what teapartycusaders.com is covering" because that's all it is anymore. Occasionally they let old standby conservativenewsandviews.com have a reference. Very rarely, some other site gets linked.

Thing is, half of teapartycrusaders.com's links are just reports from other places more or less rehosted. It's so roundabout.

At least it isn't some absurd circle of cross-referencing questionevolution posts. That was a miserable time.

# ? May 20, 2014 23:08

Kilmers Elbow: Jun 15, 2012

quote:

Liberals cannot change God's word....

Must be referring to the Liberal Bible Project.....OH WAIT

# ? May 20, 2014 23:14

OneEightHundred: Feb 28, 2008; Soon, we will be unstoppable!

TapTheForwardAssist posted:

EDIT: Sweet mother mercy, I checked the Talk page and even Conservative thinks this page is ridiculous. Yet Andy defends even the stupidest bits of it. Is this one of the few occasions where Conservative is notably more rational that Schlafly?

He just has a different axe to grind, which is his endless panic attack over Godless America.

The Muslim poo poo has always been as dumb as the birther stuff though, possibly even more so because it's basically impossible to get angry about Jeremiah Wright and accuse him of being a Muslim at the same time without either extreme ignorance or extreme cognitive dissonance.

# ? May 21, 2014 01:23

Orange Fluffy Sheep: Jul 26, 2008; Bad EXP received

quote:

Evolution Judge Jones has mandated same-sex marriage in Penn. [3]

I like the word "mandated". It makes it sound like they're forcing people into gay marriages. Just rounding them up off the streets and forcing them to live lives of sodomy.

quote:

Despite falling ratings, CNN President Jeff Zucker declares "We�re Not Going To Be Shamed" Into Covering Benghazi.[1]

I doubt two-year-old story with so little substance would meaningfully increase ratings and I'm also skeptical of this implication that the lack of Benghazi coverage is the cause of falling ratings and not, you know, internet news sou-

quote:

In the News. what the MSM isn't fully covering.

My god the conspiracy is clear. :tinfoil:

# ? May 22, 2014 14:40

ToxicSlurpee: Nov 5, 2003; -=SEND HELP=-; Pillbug

Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

I like the word "mandated". It makes it sound like they're forcing people into gay marriages. Just rounding them up off the streets and forcing them to live lives of sodomy.

This is Pennsylvania we're talking about, here. There are people out there that I guarantee are making that argument or bitching about how this is just an opening for those fags to go recruiting. I'm really, really proud of my state for pulling this one off and I'm surprised that not only did it happen but Corbett is just letting it be.

However, I just known there is going to be some pretty nasty fallout over this in rural PA. There's a great deal of strongly entrenched homophobia in these parts. The liberals and gays I know are celebrating but I'm just waiting for the conservatives and Bible thumpers I know to really double down on the crazy.

# ? May 22, 2014 15:01

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

ToxicSlurpee posted:

This is Pennsylvania we're talking about, here. There are people out there that I guarantee are making that argument or bitching about how this is just an opening for those fags to go recruiting. I'm really, really proud of my state for pulling this one off and I'm surprised that not only did it happen but Corbett is just letting it be.

However, I just known there is going to be some pretty nasty fallout over this in rural PA. There's a great deal of strongly entrenched homophobia in these parts. The liberals and gays I know are celebrating but I'm just waiting for the conservatives and Bible thumpers I know to really double down on the crazy.

Good, the more they double-down on the crazy the more people on the fence don't want to be associated with crazy.

# ? May 22, 2014 16:59

Orange Fluffy Sheep: Jul 26, 2008; Bad EXP received

quote:

Thin New York City girl told to lose some weight by government "obese police".[8]

Okay this is literally copy-pasted from a New York Post article. Down to the title. teapartycrusaders.com is adding nothing new. Not one bit of interpretation or insight. Hell, Conservapedia's blurb there is at least original!

# ? May 25, 2014 17:15

Orange Fluffy Sheep: Jul 26, 2008; Bad EXP received

How does Conservapedia react to violent shootings?

quote:

Hollywood values strike again, to deadly effect. The Isla Vista, California shooter was the son of no other than the second-unit director for The Hunger Games. What does that tell you? [7]

quote:

California serial shooter Elliot Rodger filled the social void in his life with violent video games starting at a young age.[5]
Why do so many infamous killers come from liberal California and not conservatives states like Alabama, Georgia, Nebraska, South Carolina, South Dakota, Wyoming, etc.?

Pushing their weird-rear end social agendas, obviously.

For gently caress's sake they do this violent video games poo poo every time something like this happens. I made a big list two months ago.

# ? May 27, 2014 04:00

Adenoid Dan: Mar 8, 2012; The Hobo Serenader; Lipstick Apathy

Yes why do mass killers usually come from the states with the highest population, and less often from the smaller ones? Excellent question.

# ? May 27, 2014 05:11

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

Also why do so many of the younger ones enjoy one of the most common hobbies in the US for teens and young adults? Perplexing to be sure.

# ? May 27, 2014 05:32

ToxicSlurpee: Nov 5, 2003; -=SEND HELP=-; Pillbug

Adenoid Dan posted:

Yes why do mass killers usually come from the states with the highest population, and less often from the smaller ones? Excellent question.

Democrats, obviously. Areas with lots of people tend to lean more to the left. More violent people come from there because Democrats are the real destructive sociopaths.

# ? May 27, 2014 13:54

Ghost of Reagan Past: Oct 7, 2003; rock and roll fun

Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

How does Conservapedia react to violent shootings?

Pushing their weird-rear end social agendas, obviously.

For gently caress's sake they do this violent video games poo poo every time something like this happens. I made a big list two months ago.

Picking Nebraska as a place where killers don't come from is weird, since Charles Starkweather is so famous Bruce Springsteen wrote a song about him.

# ? May 27, 2014 14:46

Parahexavoctal: Oct 10, 2004; I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS! DONKEY!!

Ghost of Reagan Past posted:

Picking Nebraska as a place where killers don't come from is weird, since Charles Starkweather is so famous Bruce Springsteen wrote a song about him.

I wonder what Conservapedia has to say about other famous serial killers!

http://www.conservapedia.com/Jeffrey_Dahmer posted:

Dahmer was especially unnerving for the general public because, far from looking crazed, he was actually attractive.

(...)

Jeffrey Dahmer's homosexuality ... [was] not unusual among serial killers. Other well known homosexual or bisexual serial killers include Andrew Cunanan, John Wayne Gacy, Patrick Wayne Kearney, Gilles de Rais, Randy Steven Kraft, Michael Swango, Andrei Chikatilo, David D. Hill, Wayne Williams, Larry Eyler, Henry Lee Lucas, Fritz Haarmann, and dozens more.

http://www.conservapedia.com/Morality posted:

Although atheism provides no basis for absolute morality, this does not mean that atheists cannot be moral people. Rather, it does mean that atheism itself provides no moral boundaries to constrain the actions of people. As mass murderer Jeffrey Dahmer said in an interview:

Stone Philips interview with Dahmer, the day after Dahmer's death? posted:
If a person doesn�t think there is a God to be accountable to, then�then what�s the point of trying to modify your behaviour to keep it within acceptable ranges? That�s how I thought anyway. I always believed the theory of evolution as truth, that we all just came from the slime. When we, when we died, you know, that was it, there is nothing...[9]

http://conservapedia.com/Homosexuality_and_Murders posted:

SEE ALSO: JEFFREY DAHMER

# ? May 27, 2014 18:24

Focacciasaurus_Rex: Dec 13, 2010

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the general profile of a serial killer most commonly a white male who grew up in a highly religious, abusive, sexually repressive household?

# ? May 27, 2014 18:34

Go RV!: Jun 19, 2008; Uglier on the inside.

Focacciasaurus_Rex posted:

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the general profile of a serial killer most commonly a white male who grew up in a highly religious, abusive, sexually repressive household?

Looks like someone believes the lamestream media story :smug:

# ? May 27, 2014 18:46

Liquid Dinosaur: Dec 16, 2011; by Smythe

Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

Okay this is literally copy-pasted from a New York Post article. Down to the title. teapartycrusaders.com is adding nothing new. Not one bit of interpretation or insight. Hell, Conservapedia's blurb there is at least original!

So are conservatives just fine and dandy with American's being obese pieces of poo poo? Even the military is complaining about the degradation of recruit quality.

# ? May 27, 2014 20:57

SocketWrench: Jul 8, 2012; by Fritz the Horse

Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

How does Conservapedia react to violent shootings?

Pushing their weird-rear end social agendas, obviously.

For gently caress's sake they do this violent video games poo poo every time something like this happens. I made a big list two months ago.

Texas or Virginia, notice how they're missing from the list?

# ? May 27, 2014 21:04

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

So are conservatives just fine and dandy with American's being obese pieces of poo poo? Even the military is complaining about the degradation of recruit quality.

Have you not noticed that obesity is caused by atheism and real Conservatives are fit and attractive Indian dancers?

# ? May 28, 2014 00:00

Pong Daddy: Oct 12, 2012

Mornacale posted:

Have you not noticed that obesity is caused by atheism and real Conservatives are fit and attractive Indian dancers?

So... our military should be comprised entirely of Indian dancers?

# ? May 28, 2014 00:04

Dirt5o8: Nov 6, 2008; EUGENE? Where's my fuckin' money, Eugene?

Pong Daddy posted:

So... our military should be comprised entirely of Indian dancers?

That's what I reenlisted for.

# ? May 28, 2014 00:46

Orange DeviI: Nov 9, 2011; by Hand Knit

Gilles de Rais

Really

# ? May 28, 2014 04:13

Liquid Dinosaur: Dec 16, 2011; by Smythe

Pong Daddy posted:

So... our military should be comprised entirely of Indian dancers?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDHCLjuOzXY

I wouldn't gently caress with these guys.

# ? May 28, 2014 04:14

Somfin: Oct 25, 2010; In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.; Nap Ghost

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDHCLjuOzXY

I wouldn't gently caress with these guys.

Oh my goodness gracious, that is amazing.

# ? May 28, 2014 04:46

Pong Daddy: Oct 12, 2012

Somfin posted:

Oh my goodness gracious, that is amazing.

I'm in love.

# ? May 28, 2014 04:53

Macaroni Surprise: Nov 13, 2012

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDHCLjuOzXY

I wouldn't gently caress with these guys.

This is the best WWE promo I've ever seen.

# ? May 28, 2014 08:02

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 10, 2024 23:14

Vahakyla: May 3, 2013

Am I the only one who feels that CP is winding down, compared to the good old days?

Nothing dramatic, but some sort of slow decline in activity, like the death of Tea Party Community.

# ? May 28, 2014 10:21

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > The Best (Worst) Of Conservapedia

«‹›441 »