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Alterian posted:Sort of reading between the lines with what your husband has said about breastfeeding and his weirdness to it, is he trying to take the baby on a trip for a few days in hopes that your supply will dry up and you stop breast feeding because he's worried you'll do it forever? Oh, he's not deliberately trying to sabotage, he just doesn't see the importance of nursing at this point and thinks I'm being a bit unreasonable by "denying" him his trip because of something he doesn't think is a big deal. But yeah, he is a bit worried that I'll just never stop nursing because I previously said I'd nurse until she was a year old, but that was in the early days, when nursing felt more like a 24/7 chore. Now it's just an enjoyable and cozy thing we do 2-3 times a day, and I don't want to up and quit just because she turns one. But I'm pretty sure it'll be over sometime before winter, she's gradually weaning herself, and that's alright, she's growing up 
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May 27, 2014 14:47
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If your main worry is that your baby isn't cuddly and you'll lose that bit of cuddly time if you wean accidentally, maybe this will reassure you: I had to stop breast feeding at 3 weeks. My daughter drank formula from three weeks until one year when she switched to regular milk. She has never been cuddly because the world is too interesting for her to want to sit still ever. However, she would only drink her bottle on my lap for the longest time (she recently stopped because she discovered that she could walk around and look at things WHILE drinking). And even then, the older they get, the more cuddly they get apropos of nothing--she's still not a cuddly kid at 21.5 months, but she'll often decide to run across the room and tackle hug me, or that she's tired of playing and would really just like to flip through a book while sitting on my lap and cuddling. The older and more aware of her relationship with you she gets, the more close interaction with the both of you will actually mean to her, prompting her to seek it out more often. Now if I want cuddles, I can pretty much just say "hey briar, do you want to sit on the couch and cuddle with mommy?" And she'll say yes and climb right up.
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May 27, 2014 17:35
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My kid has very thin, fine hair. If I wash it more than once a week it gets brittle and dry. I use Johnson's classic yellow baby shampoo. She hates conditioner (though I sometimes can get sneaky and, after putting my moisturizer on, I can run my hands over her head and get some on that way). Who makes a good, deep conditioning, gentle, kid-friendly shampoo? As summer wears on, she'll need to bathe more often to get dirt/food/pool chlorine out.
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May 27, 2014 22:07
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Hungry Squirrel posted:My kid has very thin, fine hair. If I wash it more than once a week it gets brittle and dry. I use Johnson's classic yellow baby shampoo. She hates conditioner (though I sometimes can get sneaky and, after putting my moisturizer on, I can run my hands over her head and get some on that way). Who makes a good, deep conditioning, gentle, kid-friendly shampoo? As summer wears on, she'll need to bathe more often to get dirt/food/pool chlorine out. L'Oreal Kids 2-in-1 has worked really well for my son. His hair is pretty thick rather than fine, but without conditioner it turns into an explosive mess. Also they smell pretty good. Good enough I sometimes steal a bit of the Orange Mango one for myself.
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May 27, 2014 22:36
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AngryRobotsInc posted:L'Oreal Kids 2-in-1 has worked really well for my son. His hair is pretty thick rather than fine, but without conditioner it turns into an explosive mess. Also they smell pretty good. Good enough I sometimes steal a bit of the Orange Mango one for myself. We use the coconut one and it works pretty well. Jasper has long, fine baby hair that gets some bad knots on the back of his head if we don't condition it and brush it all the time. I think his hair is cute and I don't think an 18 month old would sit still enough for a haircut anyway.
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May 27, 2014 23:17
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Hungry Squirrel posted:My kid has very thin, fine hair. If I wash it more than once a week it gets brittle and dry. I use Johnson's classic yellow baby shampoo. She hates conditioner (though I sometimes can get sneaky and, after putting my moisturizer on, I can run my hands over her head and get some on that way). Who makes a good, deep conditioning, gentle, kid-friendly shampoo? As summer wears on, she'll need to bathe more often to get dirt/food/pool chlorine out. We use The Honest Company's shampoo. Traditional shampoos can actually be pretty drying with some of the ingredients in them.
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May 28, 2014 00:29
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6 months old - one tear duct still clogged. So annoying.
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May 28, 2014 02:44
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Thanks for the advice on the sleeping! Appreciated Clogged tear ducts was no big deal for us.Just a simple 20 minute procedure and lil' boo was back up and at em!
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May 28, 2014 03:33
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Hi there parents. I'm gonna bitch a little more than necessary here to ask my question but I feel like you'll understand. My sister has a 6 week old newborn, and I'm here doing primary care from 7 am-5 pm for two weeks because she had to go back to work to get her full maternity pay and benefits(thanks America!). I only have today through Friday left and it's gone awesome. I've learned a lot and really settled into a good routine with him. At 7, she breast feeds him before leaving and sets Him swaddled in a little rocking/lightly vibrating chair that he always sleeps really well in. I got him in just the right spot in the room to avoid light in his eyes and such and for the last week he has slept perfectly all the way till 9:30-9:45, so reliably I actually set an alarm for myself for 9:20 so I could make a bottle. Well, today and yesterday her husband decided to wake up to "help." He decided the chair "have him a splitting headache" (I'd say it's at 'barely audible if you press your loving face against it" level) and "isn't good for the baby". He turned it off yesterday and the baby started crying, I didn't get to sleep either, baby fussed all day and it was loving miserable. He did it again this morning and picked him up and tried to hold him, failing to put him to sleep or soothe him while I look on in astonishment(still happening as i type). I had to tell him to rock him and shhhhh at a low volume, which of course to him meant " put a hand on the back of baby's head and one under his butt and swing him like he is on a swing set" and "blow air directly into his face while loudly shhhhhing". Of course this doesn't work so he goes back to holding him still, claiming "we don't have to do that at night!"(ugh gently caress you). So that story is kind of aside - I just want to know, is there any real basis for his vague assertion that a lightly vibrating rocking chair is somehow bad for the baby? He never said how or why, and honestly I just think he is jealous of me for being good with the baby and wanted to try to show off and can't admit he loving sucks at it. I don't even know why I'm awake if he's going to do this poo poo , as it's the whole loving reason I'm here. In short, no offense parents but you guys sure can be territorial and annoying about your kids. If someone is helping and doing nanny work for you and it's going well then leave them the gently caress alone holy poo poo.
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May 28, 2014 14:01
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Warchicken posted:Hi there parents. I'm gonna bitch a little more than necessary here to ask my question but I feel like you'll understand. He's being dumb, but what can you do? He's the dad, he has to figure it out. If he's slow, then he'll do a lot of suffering until he gets it. Unless he is endangering the baby, just ease back and let him make his mistakes. You tried to help, he didn't accept.
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May 28, 2014 14:04
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We had a different vibrating seat, but it was a godsend. The husband is just a nitwit.
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May 28, 2014 14:30
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Yeah he's probably concerned over nothing but his/their baby his/their rules...
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May 28, 2014 15:16
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You'd be surprised what sounds are quiet to you can give someone else a migraine, so I'd take him on his word at that.
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May 28, 2014 15:43
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Warchicken posted:
Well, that's the spirit of cooperation that's sure to lead to a pleasant experience for everyone involved!
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May 28, 2014 15:48
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He keeps saying "prove it's safe in the long term " but has no reason to think it isn't. I don't know where to look. Does anyone have some insight?Chickalicious posted:Well, that's the spirit of cooperation that's sure to lead to a pleasant experience for everyone involved! Man, you don't know me. I've put up with it without a word, because the baby needs harmony. I'm just bitching about it on an Internet forum. Their baby their rules, I just want to know more. empty whippet box fucked around with this message at 16:23 on May 28, 2014 |
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May 28, 2014 16:20
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Does it matter? If he doesn't want the chair on just don't turn the chair on. What are you hoping to prove?
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May 28, 2014 16:46
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sheri posted:Does it matter? If he doesn't want the chair on just don't turn the chair on. What are you hoping to prove? Why can't I just want to know the answer? Fine, whatever, forget it, I guess. I mean I want to have kids one day too but I guess I should let his opinion govern mine for al eternity, gently caress learning anything.
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May 28, 2014 16:59
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Warchicken posted:Why can't I just want to know the answer? Fine, whatever, forget it, I guess. I mean I want to have kids one day too but I guess I should let his opinion govern mine for al eternity, gently caress learning anything. The chair is probably not unsafe (we used the same one and my 14-month-old still climbs into it for a snooze on occasion) but it bothers him because it gives him a headache. Stop projecting jealousy or some other irrational junk onto the situation. As mentioned, he'll figure out his way to calm the baby eventually and maybe he'll capitulate to the seat or not, but it'll be on his terms. Don't worry so much about being right. Yes you will let his opinion about his own child govern yours 'for eternity'.
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May 28, 2014 17:14
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Warchicken posted:Why can't I just want to know the answer? Fine, whatever, forget it, I guess. I mean I want to have kids one day too but I guess I should let his opinion govern mine for al eternity, gently caress learning anything. The simple argument would be that they vibrate pretty much the same as a car and there haven't been any long term effects associated with those vibrations.
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May 28, 2014 17:18
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I vaguely remember reading/hearing something about not leaving babies in swinging chairs but I think it was more to do with posture if they were left for an excessive amount of time? Like all day in the same chair kind of thing.
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May 28, 2014 17:34
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flashy_mcflash posted:The chair is probably not unsafe (we used the same one and my 14-month-old still climbs into it for a snooze on occasion) but it bothers him because it gives him a headache. Stop projecting jealousy or some other irrational junk onto the situation. Ok, you just aren't even reading what I say because you want to talk down to me. I said - REPEATEDLY - that it's their baby so I will follow their rules. I said REPEATEDLY that I just wanted to understand. Yet here you are again saying self righteous horse poo poo about "being right". So here it is again: I AM FOLLOWING THEIR RULES BECAUSE IT IS THEIR BABY BUT I WANT TO UNDERSTAND THE ISSUE BETTER. I can say it a few more times if that would help! Not to mention the fact that my sister told me it's fine and to use it and I built the schedule of the morning around it and her husband decided to get up and "help", and in the process hosed up the schedule and made both today and yesterday miserable. But he's the father so I did whatever he said without complaint, but decided I wanted to know more since he believes in this nebulous danger so strongly that he is going behind my sister's back about it. Yet I still did what he said without complaint because it is their baby. I'm sorry for getting pissed but you keep talking down to me and saying this poo poo about jealousy that you made up in your head and now feel justified in talking down to me about said totally made up issue. He woke up the baby and screwed up my schedule again and the baby has been fussy all day because of it and I'm tired and you're being incredibly obnoxious with this self righteous, condescending bullshit. I just. Want. To know. More. empty whippet box fucked around with this message at 18:30 on May 28, 2014 |
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May 28, 2014 18:22
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One change in a newborn baby's morning is not going to ruin the day. Some kids are just cranky.
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May 28, 2014 18:31
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Warchicken posted:Ok, you just aren't even reading what I say because you want to talk down to me. I said - REPEATEDLY - that it's their baby so I will follow their rules. I said REPEATEDLY that I just wanted to understand. Yet here you are again saying self righteous horse poo poo about "being right". So here it is again: I AM FOLLOWING THEIR RULES BECAUSE IT IS THEIR BABY BUT I WANT TO UNDERSTAND THE ISSUE BETTER. I can say it a few more times if that would help! Not to mention the fact that my sister told me it's fine and to use it and I built the schedule of the morning around it and her husband decided to get up and "help", and in the process hosed up the schedule and made both today and yesterday miserable. But he's the father so I did whatever he said without complaint, but decided I wanted to know more since he believes in this nebulous danger so strongly that he is going behind my sister's back about it. Yet I still did what he said without complaint because it is their baby. Do you remember in your original post where you said quote:In short, no offense parents but you guys sure can be territorial and annoying about your kids. If someone is helping and doing nanny work for you and it's going well then leave them the gently caress alone holy poo poo. Yeah, you were kind of a prick. Wonder why you get hostile responses? In short, the chair isn't dangerous. Dad just doesn't like it. There isn't anything more to the story really.
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May 28, 2014 18:32
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And babies that young change their minds on what they like and don't like so quickly that in two weeks you'll probably be doing something completely different anyway.
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May 28, 2014 18:43
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I thought the thread title said No Tantrums?
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May 28, 2014 18:44
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Warchicken posted:since he believes in this nebulous danger so strongly that he is going behind my sister's back about it. Yet I still did what he said without complaint because it is their baby. So tell your sister. "Hey, [BIL] doesn't like the vibrating chair because he's afraid of long term damage or something, and has been turning it off. So Little Bit hasn't slept well for his first morning nap. Am I not supposed to be using it now? I just want to follow what your rules are, and you and he have told me differently." And see what she says. Also, I don't understand the situation. Where is he in relation to the sleeping infant that the noise is that audible to him? And then the logical follow up is, can't they be moved farther apart, like different rooms? Is he home all day while you nanny? Is this just before he goes to work or something? There's no danger to the chair; he's being silly of course. There's also not really any harm in him doing whatever with the baby. Eventually he'll pay attention and figure out that Little Bit doesn't like being swung in that particular way, or whatever he's doing. (Or there's some E/N worthy passive aggressive dysfunction between your sister and her husband that is being played out over the infant that you didn't talk about--but that is their business to work out if that's the case.) There is a steep learning curve when you have your first baby, however. You can get all sorts of goofy things stuck in your head about what is the "right" way, and strangely controlling about all sorts of things that don't actually matter. It can also be hard, sometimes, for both parents to get on the same page about everything. I can only emphasize it's a really steep learning curve for all involved. If you don't want to get jumped on, on a parenting forum, I suggest avoiding incendiary, throw away lines such as this: Warchicken posted:In short, no offense parents but you guys sure can be territorial and annoying about your kids. If someone is helping and doing nanny work for you and it's going well then leave them the gently caress alone holy poo poo. I understand your frustration, but this does you no favors.
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May 28, 2014 19:00
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There's the very real possibility that if he's only there for a little bit before work (or not, doesn't really matter here), this is the only time he gets to "parent" his own child? I know the first few months, I did EVERYTHING because I had been around/cared for new babies and my husband hadn't, so he did everything wrong and had no idea why. So any chance he got to take care of her where I wasn't harping on him, he forged ahead and did it. He learned and she is perfectly fine, even though he'd jiggle her so vigorously that you could hear the air bubbles in her stomach because it made her smile. (and then puke)
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May 28, 2014 19:15
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Warchicken posted:I'm sorry for getting pissed but you keep talking down to me and saying this poo poo about jealousy that you made up in your head and now feel justified in talking down to me about said totally made up issue. He woke up the baby and screwed up my schedule again and the baby has been fussy all day because of it and I'm tired and you're being incredibly obnoxious with this self righteous, condescending bullshit. I just. Want. To know. More. Haha, you're the one who said the dad is jealous of you for being good with the baby. Maybe some of the dads in this thread can take that one on. It's two more days, right? Chill out. Also keep in mind an 8 week old baby may not need to sleep quite as much as a 6 week old baby, or not at that precise time of day. They start doing a little more than eat/sleep/poop and have actual awake time a little more every day. For the sake of that little baby calm way down and just go with the flow for two more days. Not having his vibrating chair for a couple of days will not harm him. If the issue is you wish you'd stayed asleep, how about tell him "hey if you're on duty until 9 I'd just as soon sleep a little more". And yeah, a dad's opinion on how to parent his infant son should always come first unless he's abusive or dangerous (that goes for either parent). Come on, there is no rulebook on what baby does set moment of the day. Let dad have his baby bonding time. There's no prize for the baby crying less with his aunt than him.
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May 28, 2014 21:42
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Warchicken posted:Ok, you just aren't even reading what I say because you want to talk down to me. I said - REPEATEDLY - that it's their baby so I will follow their rules. I said REPEATEDLY that I just wanted to understand. Yet here you are again saying self righteous horse poo poo about "being right". So here it is again: I AM FOLLOWING THEIR RULES BECAUSE IT IS THEIR BABY BUT I WANT TO UNDERSTAND THE ISSUE BETTER. I can say it a few more times if that would help! Not to mention the fact that my sister told me it's fine and to use it and I built the schedule of the morning around it and her husband decided to get up and "help", and in the process hosed up the schedule and made both today and yesterday miserable. But he's the father so I did whatever he said without complaint, but decided I wanted to know more since he believes in this nebulous danger so strongly that he is going behind my sister's back about it. Yet I still did what he said without complaint because it is their baby. You are writing very angrily on the internet about something you profess not to be very wound up about. Might I suggest that more reasoned posting would elicit more reasoned responses? Consider, for a moment, that he feels the same way about someone watching his kid and is jealous of the time you have been spending. I find actively externalizing my perspective does wonders when I am getting wound up by some perceived slight on myself. Re actual dangers of bouncy chairs check out this link here. It led me to consumerreports.org, through a link or two which, aside from risks like 'don't be a drooling idiot about where you put the chair and how you use it', contains only this risk in reference to chair usage: quote:Don’t park your baby in a bouncer. The American Academy of Pediatrics says that babies who spend excessive time in bouncers (and car seats) may be prone to positional plagiocephaly (also called flattened head syndrome), a persistent flat spot in the back or on one side of the head. The AAP doesn’t say how much is too much, so use your best judgment. No more than 30 minutes at a shot seems reasonable to us. Don’t substitute a bouncer seat for cuddle time. So, while the vibrations themselves don't seem to be a health risk, over 30 minutes in a stretch in the chair might be (depending on how much a flat-spotted head bothers you). Maybe he's right! The reality is that most health information about kids is hotly disputed and poorly researched (who's going to allow their kid to be subjected to varying levels of vibrations in order to determine if there's a safe level), so the right answer, which is what you're asking for, is that there isn't a right answer and to do what is most helpful for the family.
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May 29, 2014 06:57
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I have to say that as a first time mom, I had the same worries as your brother in law. My babe loved her vibrating chair but I worried if sleeping in it all night would like rattle her brain or something stupid like that. Rational? Not remotely. But these are the things that go through your head as a first time parent. Also, he's most likely a little sleep deprived (as all new parents are) so any little thing can wake him up, cause a headache, etc. In short, have some empathy and do what mom and dad say. Do they have a swing? My baby took all her naps in a car seat or swing for the first 8 or 9 months. She has a perfectly round head and is very healthy! Also, it's very nice of you to help out your sister. Good job, aunt. It takes a village.
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May 29, 2014 13:04
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At what point did you all start waking your toddlers from sleep in the morning? Our girl is 2.5 years old and she sometimes sleeps until 7 a.m. or later. That would be okay if my wife or I didn't work but we both do and we need to get our daughter out of the house by 7:30 each morning. We typically start the bedtime routine at 7:30, and she's in her bed by 8:00, sometimes a little later now that it's summer.
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May 29, 2014 15:16
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Put her to bed earlier and she'll wake up earlier. Also you'll have more time to yourselves in the evening. I put my son to bed by 6:30 or 7. If he were up til 8 or 9 I'd go loving crazy. 2.5 sounds plenty old to wake up if you need to.
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May 29, 2014 15:30
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hepscat posted:Haha, you're the one who said the dad is jealous of you for being good with the baby. Maybe some of the dads in this thread can take that one on. Yeah that's what got my back up personally. I admit, though, that my post came off way harsher than I intended and I apologize for that Warchicken.
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May 29, 2014 16:35
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greatn posted:Put her to bed earlier and she'll wake up earlier. Also you'll have more time to yourselves in the evening. I put my son to bed by 6:30 or 7. If he were up til 8 or 9 I'd go loving crazy. Any suggestion for the opposite problem (getting a toddler to wake up later)? If I start getting my two-year-old to bed at 8pm, he'll be up before 7am. If I don't start getting him to bed until 9pm, he might sleep until 8am, but half the time he still gets up around 7am. For all I know if I started the going-to-bed process at 7pm, he'd get up at 5am or something. (And since my husband gets home from work at or after 7pm, I don't want to have my son go to bed much before 8 anyway.) Admittedly, he usually takes a two-hour to two-and-a-half-hour nap in the afternoon, but when he doesn't nap he doesn't fall asleep until 10pm and he's cranky starting at about 6pm, so just having him not nap is not the solution.
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May 29, 2014 17:01
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I get up at 4:30 for work anyway, so I've never tried to make the kid wake up later. If my wife takes him and lays him down for breastfeeding immediately and then holds him, he'll sleep another hour or two.
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May 29, 2014 17:17
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me your dad posted:At what point did you all start waking your toddlers from sleep in the morning? Our girl is 2.5 years old and she sometimes sleeps until 7 a.m. or later. That would be okay if my wife or I didn't work but we both do and we need to get our daughter out of the house by 7:30 each morning. Our 2.5 year old will sleep until 7:15-7:30 if we let him, but we have to get him up for the day around 6:30-6:45. It doesn't seem to bother him to much to get up 30 minutes earlier or later.
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May 29, 2014 18:00
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me your dad posted:At what point did you all start waking your toddlers from sleep in the morning? Our girl is 2.5 years old and she sometimes sleeps until 7 a.m. or later. That would be okay if my wife or I didn't work but we both do and we need to get our daughter out of the house by 7:30 each morning. We've always woken our kids up during the week...figure out how much sleep your kid needs and go from there. My 4 year old is a lunatic in the morning if she doesn't get at least 9, preferably 10 hour of sleep. If your kid is getting 11 hours of sleep that should be enough, just wake her up when you need her to get ready. jassi007 posted:Our 2.5 year old will sleep until 7:15-7:30 if we let him, but we have to get him up for the day around 6:30-6:45. It doesn't seem to bother him to much to get up 30 minutes earlier or later. My kids seem to have inherited my biological rhythm. Left to my own devices I will wake up around 10AM and stay up until 1 or 2 AM. I do my best work around 10PM at night. My kids are similar, they'll both stay up until midnight if we let them, and they'll happily sleep past 10AM on the weekends. skipdogg fucked around with this message at 18:20 on May 29, 2014 |
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May 29, 2014 18:18
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Unfortunately I don't believe there is any way to get your kids to sleep in. They just find a time they like and you're pretty much set. At least so far in my experience. I just have been taking notes, so that when they are teenagers and want to sleep all weekend I can keep waking them up at 6.
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May 29, 2014 18:21
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skipdogg posted:My kids seem to have inherited my biological rhythm. Left to my own devices I will wake up around 10AM and stay up until 1 or 2 AM. I do my best work around 10PM at night. My kids are similar, they'll both stay up until midnight if we let them, and they'll happily sleep past 10AM on the weekends. I don't let my kids stay up we enforce an early but reasonable bed time. I mean my kids are 11 months and 2.5 years, and the baby is asleep by 7pm and the toddler by 8:30 at the max. The 8:30 thing is about how long he can stretch out his bedtime, we start the routine at like 7:30 and he manages to drag it out for an hour the snot. FishBulb posted:Unfortunately I don't believe there is any way to get your kids to sleep in. They just find a time they like and you're pretty much set. At least so far in my experience. I just have been taking notes, so that when they are teenagers and want to sleep all weekend I can keep waking them up at 6. That is the dream. When they're teenagers, to whip them out of bed at 7am to do chores reminding them constantly of all the days they got me up at 5 or 6am for no good reason. :P jassi007 fucked around with this message at 18:46 on May 29, 2014 |
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May 29, 2014 18:43
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I'm the mom taking her toddlers on a dog walk at 9pm and getting them to bed around 10pm. They usually wake up around 8am. My husband doesn't get home from work until 7pm, so we do dinner then dog walk then bath and bedtime. When we have to start getting the kids down earlier for them to wake up for school and stuff, that's going to suck. I like having my family time at night, even if that means we are on a different sleep cycle than everyone else. And they nap around 3pm in the afternoon for a few hours almost every day. Some people (and kids) are fairly adaptable and can handle later schedules. It does amuse me when I put them down for naps later in the day (maybe 4pm) and I learn from other moms that's when they start their nighttime routine (dinner, bath, bedtime stories), to be asleep by 7pm.
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May 29, 2014 18:58
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