bonzibuddy64 posted:

bonzibuddy64 posted:

Fanfiction

bonzibuddy64 posted:

Who of King Koopa's children would rule the Mushroom Kingdom in his absence?

While King “Bowser” Koopa would make for a spectacular leader and hero of the people, one really has to consider what will happen when the time comes that he passes away. I have already begun petitions and a Kickstarter to prevent Bowser Jr. from claiming the throne in his absence. All seven of his older siblings would be infinitely more qualified than him. The next youngest Koopa, Larry, while still only being a child, has much more experience than him. Morton Jr. of the Donut Plains and Desert Hill has had experience in harsh climates. Wendy O. Koopa is the only female heir to the throne and possesses the necessary charisma to lead a nation. Iggy Koopa is the brainiest of the bunch, and while some would go so far as to call him a “nerd”, he would still be an excellent leader. Roy Koopa is the biggest and brawniest, and would be one of my personal choices for the next in line for succession. Lemmy Koopa, despite his small size and childish nature, is the second oldest, and while his carefree and laidback attitude may not suit a king, he’s certainly a better choice than Bowser Jr. Finally, we come to Ludwig von Koopa, the oldest of the Koopalings, who is the smartest and even composes his own music.


I would say that Ludwig is the most qualified. While Ludwig is arrogant and presumptuous, he is still the oldest and most experienced out of all the ‘Koopalings’. He also possesses a magnificent intelligence, superior to that of his siblings and father. Ludwig von Koopa used to be King Bowser’s second in command until Bowser Jr. came along. Why King Bowser would abandon Ludwig, his most trusted advisor and eldest son, in favor of this newly hatched Koopa is beyond me.


The next Koopa in line would be Roy Koopa. Roy is the bulkiest and most tough out of all the ‘Koopalings’, and I think he would make for a great general. For those of you who don’t know, Roy has a pink shell and typically wears sunglasses. In my books, this cements him as an all-around “cool guy”. I haven’t known that many people in my life named Roy, so whenever I do meet someone named Roy, it instantly reminds me of this Koopa. Is he more qualified than Ludwig? No, I don’t think so, but this is only a “what-if” scenario.


The next in line is Iggy Koopa. I should note that Lemmy Koopa is older than both Roy and Iggy, but I don’t think he’s qualified for a leadership position because of his childishness. Anyways, Iggy is very mechanically talented, and while not as bright as his older brother Ludwig, he still possesses an unusually gifted mind for a Koopa. I think his assets would benefit him and the kingdom most by him serving as an advisor, or on a proposed "Koopa Kouncil". He would also be a great inventor.


This childish son of Bowser was named after the Motorhead guitarist and singer Lemmy Kilmister. Unfortunately for us, Lemmy Koopa does not share the same facial hair as the Motorhead Lemmy, but has a tuft of rainbow hair on top of his head. Lemmy Koopa is also often seen trying to balance on top of a green ball with a star on it, despite being the second oldest of the Koopa children. You’ll notice that I don’t nominate Lemmy Koopa for a position in the proposed "Koopa Kouncil" – that’s because he spends most of his time trying to balance on a ball, like a child. As you can see for yourself, he is not fit to lead a kingdom. The only scenario where I can see Lemmy Koopa taking over King Koopa’s position is if the only other option is Bowser Jr. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Bowser Jr. is simply not fit to rule the Mushroom Kingdom and I don’t understand what King Koopa sees in him, or why he spawned an eighth hatchling.


Truthfully, there is not a whole lot to say about Morton Jr. – he has a grey shell and a grey and white scar-like feature on his head. He rules over the Donut Plains and the Desert Hill. One interesting observation I’ve made is that in both his appearances, Morton is the boss of the second world. What does this mean? I don’t think it means anything, to be honest. It means whatever you want it to mean.


Wendy is King Morton’s only female child, and the only one with a middle name. What does the “O” stand for? Microsoft Bing is a great social media search engine and one thing I love about it in particular is that the commercial for it features a dubstep song. Dubstep doesn’t have much to do with Wendy O. Koopa, however, so I’d like to get back on topic, and I would like to apologize to the reader for going off on a tangent about dubstep. I promise that it won’t happen again, and my deepest condolences go out to you, the reader. Anyways, Wendy O. Koopa sports a pink bow and lipstick.


Larry Koopa… what a concept. Larry Koopa is the youngest of the original seven Koopa children. For a long time, I argued this was not the case, and that Lemmy was the youngest (he certainly acts it!). However, after doing a bit of research on various Mario information websites and databases, I discovered that Larry Koopa was indeed the youngest, canonically. I was resistant to accept this as fact at first, but what’s canon is canon. His characteristics include being the youngest, and having a blue tuft of hair. He is the last boss you fight before King Bowser’s Klown Kopter in Super Mario World. Larry is also the first boss in Super Mario Brothers 3. I also happen to have a cousin named Larry, but he does not have anything in common with King Bowser’s children.


The infamous "Bowser Jr." as made famous by Mario Party. Apparently Shigeru Miyamoto has released a statement saying that the Koopa Kids are not Bowser's children. Who the gently caress do you think you are? What's bullshit is that Mr. Miyamoto thinks he can get away with retconning established Mario lore. What game is Bowser Jr. even from? Well, I'll tell you - it's all the loving new Mario games and they are not paying respect, to the classic Super Mario Brothers 3 and Super Mario World. Can't believe the poo poo Shiggy thinks he can get away with… I heard Skyward Sword sucked a big one and it doesn’t suprirse me.

d3k0y posted:

Does anyone else feel like they get slightly better boosts on jump tricks the closer to the ledge they jump?

d3k0y posted:

Does anyone else feel like they get slightly better boosts on jump tricks the closer to the ledge they jump?

Yorkshire Tea posted:

If it's anything like MK7 then there are three jump settings. At the beginning of the booster, in the middle and at the end. I believe beginning is fast and low, middle is high and slow and end is an average between the two. I could be wrong.

Also:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGhO1rTsZtU

Or how I'm way way too proud of beating someone far far better than me at this game. Kota, whatever the hell you're on that makes you so good at this, I want some.

PerrineClostermann posted:

I loving hate you so much if you're Natural 20. Your mii even looks like mine.

And I played some MK7 back when it came out.

Yorkshire Tea posted:

That's me

dirksteadfast posted:

They've definitely done something with how the green shells work. I was getting blasted by a bunch to a suspicious extreme, then saw one disobey all laws if geometry and do a complete 180 off a wall it was running nearly parallel to just so it could smack me in the face. I feel like they're set to occasionally lock onto the front runners.

Also don't know how reliable this is, but I definitely saw a CPU get a significant slowdown after a Blooper was thrown, so it does affect them in some way.

Guignol posted:

I don't have any hard science on this, but I race MUCH better as hank hill than I do as my actual mii

bonzibuddy64 posted:

Don't make me sick. That character slot could go to Petey Piranha, King Boo, Dry Bones or any other character.

PerrineClostermann posted:

Get out of here impostor, this town ain't big enough for the both of us.

THE loving MOON posted:

Mario Kart 8 is leading the pack in 'most playable turtles' technology.

*someone proves me wrong with SUPER TURTLE RACERS XXXTREME, an obscure game that came out for the Wii at the end of it's life*

PerrineClostermann posted:

I don't think I'd ever want to play a turtle game with XXXTREME in the title...

PerrineClostermann posted:

I don't think I'd ever want to play a turtle game with XXXTREME in the title...

Yorkshire Tea posted:

TWO KARTS ENTER, ONE KART LEAVES.

PerrineClostermann posted:

I know that in MK7, the timing of your trick had an affect on your air-time, and thus, your overall speed. It was faster to trick just after clearing the ledge, which gave you a lower jump and put you on the ground faster. You're faster on the ground than in the air, so that's better overall.

PantsBandit posted:

So for a point of reference on the 1.2 mil number, Titanfall took over 3 weeks to reach a million and Brawl sold about the same number of copies when it released. Considering the popularity (or lack thereof) of the Wii U right now that's pretty impressive.

Astro Nut posted:

To be fair, and for clarification purposes, is your Titanfall reference to US sales, or worldwide? Since MK8's worldwide sales are currently 1.2 mil, but the breakdown would obviously be only hundreds of thousands per region.

Zaphod42 posted:

Does this mean that landing prematurely when in the air is a good strategy? I thought about that but wasn't sure. (This is ignoring potential shortcuts)

Guignol posted:

Hank Hill matches are the best matches
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS0wU8aQuh8

PantsBandit posted:

Yeah, it's the US numbers, couldn't find the worldwide ones. But I imagine Titanfall sold way more in the US than anywhere else.

PerrineClostermann posted:

I believe so, but I'm not one hundred percent on that. It's a decent idea anyway, as red shells can otherwise get underneath you and get you as you land, even with an item being held.

ThisIsACoolGuy posted:

Hey wanting to give everyone a heads up that there's a bug in the game that completely bricks systems.

http://www.gonintendo.com/s/229600-mario-kart-8-glitch-bricking-systems

No idea what's causing it.