|
I can't see Benny getting disability, even if he tried. My sister has systemic lupus, epilepsy, and a gently caress-ton of other issues and it took over two years of hearings and appeals to finally get it. Showing up saying "I can't hold down a job" won't get him anything except laughed at. As someone else said, military wouldn't be a good idea, either. They're cutting back on people that are already enlisted. I also don't see Benny making it through basic.
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 20:48
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 3, 2024 21:17 |
|
|
I found this thread about six months ago. As it was quite lengthy, to save time I filtered the posts to just show Benny's, until I got nearer to the end. Big mistake, and the latest one by him demonstrates why. Good lord.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 20:50
|
|
|
TheReverend posted:Oh really? That's too bad. I just suggested it because my step-brother is reminds of Benny. After failing at about everything (fast food jobs, school) he somehow got into the Navy. Navy recruit training is about as easy as basic military training in the US armed forces gets, FWIW. They're teaching you the basics of life aboard a ship, not basics of ground combat. Also they always need idiots for menial jobs, its just not as easy today as it was at the height of Iraq & Afghanistan where "you have a pulse, use of all of your limbs and senses, aren't debilitatingly addicted to drugs and/or a wanted fugitive from justice? Sign here!" was pretty much SOP for recruiting. Geoj fucked around with this message at 21:15 on Jun 2, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 20:50
|
|
|
Oh I'm gonna save this spot. I'm gonna post a cover letter (info changed and/or omitted of course) and I'd like you goons to take a look and tell me how I can improve upon them. I'll post it in a sec. EDIT: Here it is. Benny the Snake posted:Benny the Snake Where can I improve? Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 21:12 on Jun 2, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 20:57
|
|
|
cname posted:Honestly, people cheering on "get disability" do you draw the line anywhere? Would anything qualify as "disabled" in your opinion? At what point does "bootstraps" become valid? That's what's up. Also, Benny, you need to realize that nobody here can vindicate you, there are no excuses. Harden the gently caress up and put some actual effort into your shambles of a life. It's like you're trying to climb a staircase and lifting your foot an inch off the ground and telling everyone you tried. Or rather, you're telling everyone you have a splinter, and you're deathly afraid of stairs, and only have one leg and need someone to install a rail for you to hold on to
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:08
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:info changed and/or omitted The thread in five words.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:13
|
|
|
What else is Benny going to do besides get on disability? He's managed to volunteer at the library. That's it. I don't know what the qualifications are to get disability from the government, but I work with teenagers with intellectual disabilities and diagnosed medical conditions and a few of my students will be able to get jobs on their own, though they might live at home forever. Benny hasn't done this yet. Benny thinks he is qualified to do things that he just isn't. He can't think for himself. He does not respond to criticism. He's either lazy and stupid (probably) or he's got brain problems. Either way someone needs to teach him how to function in society. Someone with the patience of a saint so they don't beat him to death when he pulls a Benny.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:15
|
|
|
Aqua Bear posted:What else is Benny going to do besides get on disability? Benny on day one would manage to gently caress up being on disability. "Hey guys, I got my first disability check and its way more than I was supposed to get. I think I'm going to go buy some comic books with it - does this sound like a bad plan?"
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:18
|
|
|
"proud to announce." like you're having a baby or something. Jesus.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:20
|
|
|
crabrock posted:"proud to announce." Hey man, he's a certified typist. Seriously, that reads so badly, if you can get any money together at all, definitely spend it with that goon who does resumes and cover letters.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:30
|
|
|
Don't start your cover letter with "My name is." http://www.askamanager.org/2014/05/dont-start-your-cover-letter-with-my-name-is-and-other-rules.html Benny, you've summed up your cover letter, but you haven't explained how these skills translate to the new job. You are customizing this for every office application, right? Can you post a cover letter you've already sent? How do you know you didn't get the lawyer office job?
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:33
|
|
|
It's not very often, but I had a very, very good idea today. I was thinking about my online sales experience in relation to my resume and then I thought, "Why don't I help the library by selling books online?" We are seriously overloaded with donated and withdrawn books over here. So I discussed it with the assistant director and he likes the idea. We're going to have a meeting to work out the details on Wednesday. I can't work it into a paid position because, of course, I have very little experience to begin with and I've only been volunteering here for about six weeks now. More importantly, however, I can still include online sales on my resume under the pretense that I'm doing it for the library. It's not exactly professional, but it does tie into my current volunteering and would look really good on my resume.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:34
|
|
|
Benny, your issue isn't really getting a job, it's keeping it. Why don't you take that good idea, and do some actual online selling in the hours and hours and hours of free time you currently have. Find cheap/used books on your own (I can't believe I am writing this, but do NOT steal from the library), and then sign up for an Ebay account and then ... sell books. Keep the money. Keep doing this.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:36
|
|
|
Eris posted:Benny, your issue isn't really getting a job, it's keeping it. Because benny needs to learn how to function in society, not on the periphery.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:38
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:My duties on the campaign included voter outreach, data entry, and intern leadership. Voter outreach involved both phone banking and neighborhood canvassing: I averaged up to 800 calls a week. Data entry consisted of organizing information, such as contacts and contributions, onto spreadsheets. While phone banking, I led up to ten interns at a time and I represented the campaign when the campaign manager was unavailable. Did you really average 800 calls a week? If you're volunteering 40 hours/week, that means you're calling 20 people an hour, or one every 3 minutes, no breaks or down time. Assuming that you did manage this herculean task of sitting still for 8 hours/day, pumping out 3 minute long calls, I don't see how you'd have time to do any of the other things that you said you did for the campaign. Lets be really generous and say you volunteered 80 hours a week -- you're still doing 6 minute long calls, non-stop, for 16 hours/day 5 days a week, literally no breaks. Also, you can't really average "up to". Womens Jeans fucked around with this message at 21:41 on Jun 2, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:38
|
|
|
Benny's cover letter looks like some cover letter mad libs template from some website.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:40
|
|
|
Rudager posted:Seriously, that reads so badly, if you can get any money together at all, definitely spend it with that goon who does resumes and cover letters.  Benny the Snake posted:And I've just purchased an RTI package. I hope I'll be able to get a career while using this service. And I do intend to put as much effort as possible into it.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:42
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:and I am familiar with Adobe Photoshop as well. I'm familiar with brain surgery (in that I know it exists).
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:42
|
|
|
RTI takes like a month of back and forth effort/progress
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:44
|
|
|
^ That's from last July.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:45
|
|
|
Benny, how does it make you feel when people in this thread say you are so bad at life that you should give up and apply for SSI? E: is a library allowed to sell anything?
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:46
|
|
|
Darth123123 posted:Benny, how does it make you feel when people in this thread say you are so bad at life that you should give up and apply for SSI? I routinely have people tell Rhonyn Peacemaker, Capitalist, Job Creator, Utilitarian Liberal-Corporatist to die. Yet that would not feel as bad as being told to go on SSI. Just saying.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:49
|
|
|
Darth123123 posted:Benny, how does it make you feel when people in this thread say you are so bad at life that you should give up and apply for SSI? Dude gets off on being babied so it's probably better if he doesn't answer that one.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:50
|
|
|
JakeP posted:Benny's cover letter looks like some cover letter mad libs template from some website. This, so much this. Benny, did you just Google what a cover letter should include and copy/paste it and insert your own information?
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:50
|
|
|
Eris posted:Don't start your cover letter with "My name is." http://www.askamanager.org/2014/05/dont-start-your-cover-letter-with-my-name-is-and-other-rules.html  But I got it. I'll cut out "My name is" and skip straight to "I am proud to announce". How do I know I didn't get the lawyer office job? Because I was asked how I have sales experience and I told them about my previous job. They didn't ask how long I was over there. My intention was to spin it: make it look like I was a fast learner by showing how I learned how to make listings online and sell them fairly quickly. But knowing how thorough law firms are, they've called my previous job and found out how I've been careless. Like Tipps said, law firms want someone who won't make mistakes since one minor mistake could mean all kinds of trouble. So as far as I'm concerned, I'm not getting the job. Womens Jeans posted:Did you really average 800 calls a week? If you're volunteering 40 hours/week, that means you're calling 20 people an hour, or one every 3 minutes, no breaks or down time. Assuming that you did manage this herculean task of sitting still for 8 hours/day, pumping out 3 minute long calls, I don't see how you'd have time to do any of the other things that you said you did for the campaign. Lets be really generous and say you volunteered 80 hours a week -- you're still doing 6 minute long calls, non-stop, for 16 hours/day 5 days a week, literally no breaks. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Jun 2, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:51
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:That wasa letter I already sent Did you hear people say don't put that you are "proud" to apply for a job? Don't put that in. Rewrite it and repost. And answer my prior post. Tia
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:54
|
|
|
lol forever
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 21:55
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:That was a letter I already sent Ok, I would suggest saying something like "when cold calling, I left approximately 100 messages and spoke to 25 people per day". It sounds less impressive, but is also much more believable and clearer. Also make it sound nicer, I'm typing from my phone in bed, so this is not high quality sentence crafting from me.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:01
|
|
|
Benny, here: This is my personal basic cover letter. I just got a job with this cover letter. You need to learn to say more information with better, more concise words. And NEVER write "Sir or Madam" or "to whom it may concern". Make the effort to find out the name of the person in charge of hiring and address them by name. This is very basic stuff.  Also, do you have letterhead? You should have letterhead. Always send your coversheet on letterhead.Satyr's Cover Letter posted:Dear Mr. [Name of Person], That Damn Satyr fucked around with this message at 22:08 on Jun 2, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:02
|
|
|
Benny, but on your writer hat here. Do you understand why people are saying "proud to announce" is a bad thing? Put yourself in the shoes of the reader. This is someone who is hiring for a role. They may have to work with you every day. It's a pretty menial role, given that your major selling point is that you type quickly. Do you think they want to work with someone who is "proud to announce" their candidacy? What are you proud of, exactly? That you've solved all of their hiring problems? That's pretty presumptuous. Maybe you are exciting to apply? That's great! Except, explain WHY you are excited to apply. They've been looking for someone who is a fast typist, and you type X words per minute. They want someone who has had experience in ... I have no freaking idea. Shelving books? Look - you're volunteering at a local library. Figure out what they are looking for (hint: this should be in their ad), and then explain how you fit those requirements. Edit: I disagree about letterhead. If your cover letter is in an email, then using letterhead feels like you don't understand the internet. Look, another "Ask a Manager" link! (Question 5, and discussion in the comments: http://www.askamanager.org/2014/05/my-former-boss-was-detained-by-police-for-stalking-me-repeating-words-on-a-resume-and-more.html) Eris fucked around with this message at 22:07 on Jun 2, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:05
|
|
|
Don't tell them you'll contact them in a few days to discuss your application! Either say that you are available to discuss your application at their convenience, or BEFORE you submit your application email them and ask for an informal discussion of the position and what it entails (you should attach your resume to this request).
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:05
|
|
|
HR Here: Here is some science guys. I don't read cover letters. Most people send them as an attachment and I don't even read them. If they are in the body of the email, I skip them and go onto the resume. There is nothing in your CL that I care about. Because if you are applying via email, you are not important enough for me to waste my time reading an extra page on. You get 1 page, and that 1 page is your resume. Make it count. Send me your resume on 1 page. Attach your resume via PDF or Word doc. Do not use RTF or Txt or any other loving format. (If I see someone else send me a powerpoint of their resume it goes right into the trash, no matter what their qualifications are). Your intro should be: Dear Sir or Madam (if you do not know the name of the hiring manager) I am applying for the job posting you had at XYZ (website or location or bulletin board or bathroom stall). I have attached my resume for your purusal. My contact information is on both the resume and on this email. Please do not hesitate to contact me directly. Respectfully yours, Abigbagofdouche C.999.999.9999 Email address If your position matters, send me your CL. But if you do, you know me by name.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:08
|
|
|
In almost sure he blocked me. He probably should have. Benny: your cover letter reads like an example cover letter somebody uploaded to demonstrate business letter formatting. Scrap that poo poo and start over. Also 2 points: always address a letter to somebody. Get on the website and see who the hr director is or somebody that looks like they're handling the hiring. Always dear mr. Hireman. Secondly, the email address you're sending that from better be something like Benny.Ortiz@gmail.com and not bennythesnakeSA33@yahoo.com
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:08
|
|
|
That drat Satyr posted:Benny, here: This is my personal basic cover letter. I just got a job with this cover letter. Letterhead? Maybe I'm old but I use letter head for my work correspondence with the company logo, etc. what would Benny's look like? I want to see the logo badly.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:09
|
|
|
Darth123123 posted:Letterhead? Maybe I'm old but I use letter head for my work correspondence with the company logo, etc. what would Benny's look like? I want to see the logo badly. A snake eating itself.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:09
|
|
|
crabrock posted:Also 2 points: always address a letter to somebody. Get on the website and see who the hr director is or somebody that looks like they're handling the hiring. Always dear mr. Hireman. Secondly, the email address you're sending that from better be something like Benny.Ortiz@gmail.com and not bennythesnakeSA33@yahoo.com His email is obviously BENNY69HOTBANGERZXXX@gmail.com, that's been the problem this whole time Darth123123 posted:Letterhead? Maybe I'm old but I use letter head for my work correspondence with the company logo, etc. what would Benny's look like? I want to see the logo badly. I dunno. I do graphic design and photography and have all my stationary and letterhead and business card stuff matching because I do freelance. I just think it looks way nicer? Personal preference I guess really but if they see your big name at the top it's easier to identify and remember if they have a huge pile of papers on their desk.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:10
|
|
|
That drat Satyr posted:His email is obviously BENNY69HOTBANGERZXXX@gmail.com, that's been the problem this whole time Gotcha, please design Benny a logo!
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:15
|
|
|
crabrock posted:In almost sure he blocked me. He probably should have.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:15
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:That particular cover letter was sent through a Craigslist post and most people who post jobs via that site don't leave the name of the company or their address. If I did have the name of the company, I would look it up on Google and post the address in the cover letter and the name of the HR manager. Please answer my posts Benny. Also, you won't always be able to get the name of the hiring manager. My company has 70k employees and names are taboo in listings or public sites.
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:18
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 3, 2024 21:17 |
|
|
Rhonyn Peacemaker posted:A snake eating itself. In reverse though, a snake jamming its head up its own rear end
|
|
#
?
Jun 2, 2014 22:20
|
|