iuvian posted:

SgtSteel91 posted:

Would it have been better if there were no quotes, just a close up of the character and "Meet _____ at E3!" ?

Dan Didio posted:

If those are going to be the quotes? Yes.

Dan Didio posted:

If those are going to be the quotes? Yes.

Geostomp posted:

Agreed. These quotes seem like the writers were trying too hard to be "quirky" instead of actually good.

quote:

The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed subcategory. He's got esprit up to here. Right now, he is preparing to carry out his third mission of the night. His uniform is black as activated charcoal, filtering the very light out of the air. A bullet will bounce off its arachnofiber weave like a wren hitting a patio door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest. Where his body has bony extremities, the suit has sintered armorgel: feels like gritty jello, protects like a stack of telephone books.

When they gave him the job, they gave him a gun. The Deliverator never deals in cash, but someone might come after him anyway-might want his car, or his cargo. The gun is tiny, aero-styled, lightweight, the kind of a gun a fashion designer would carry; it fires teensy darts that fly at five times the velocity of an SR-71 spy plane, and when you get done using it, you have to plug it into the cigarette lighter, because it runs on electricity.

The Deliverator never pulled that gun in anger, or in fear. He pulled it once in Gila Highlands. Some punks in Gila Highlands, a fancy Burbclave, wanted themselves a delivery, and they didn't want to pay for it. Thought they would impress the Deliverator with a baseball bat. The Deliverator took out his gun, centered its laser doohickey on that poised Louisville Slugger, fired it. The recoil was immense, as though the weapon had blown up in his hand. The middle third of the baseball bat turned into a column of burning sawdust accelerating in all directions like a bursting star. Punk ended up holding this bat handle with milky smoke pouring out the end. Stupid look on his face. Didn't get nothing but trouble from the Deliverator.

Since then the Deliverator has kept the gun in the glove compartment and relied, instead, on a matched set of samurai swords, which have always been his weapon of choice anyhow. The punks in Gila Highlands weren't afraid of the gun, so the Deliverator was forced to use it. But swords need no demonstrations.

The Deliverator's car has enough potential energy packed into its batteries to fire a pound of bacon into the asteroid Belt. Unlike a bimbo box or a Burb beater, the Deliverator's car unloads that power through gaping, gleaming, polished sphincters. When the Deiverator puts the hammer down, poo poo happens. You want to talk contact patches? Your car's tires have tiny contact patches, talk to the thee asphalt in four places the size of your tongue. The De liverator's erator's car has big sticky tires with contact patches the size of a fat lady's thighs. The Deliverator is in touch with the road, starts like a bad day, stops on a peseta.

Why is the Deliverator so equipped? Because people rely on him. He is a role model. This is America. People do whatever the gently caress they feel like doing, you got a problem with that? Because they have a right to. And because they have guns and no one can loving stop them. As a result, this country has one of the worst economies in the world. When it gets down to it—talking trade balances here—once we've brain-drained all our technology into other countries, once things have evened out, they're making cars in Bolivia and microwave ovens in Tadzhikistan and selling them here—once our edge in natural resources has been made irrelevant by giant Hong Kong ships and dirigibles that can ship North Dakota all the way to New Zealand for a nickel—once the Invisible Hand has taken all those historical inequities and smeared them out into a broad global layer of what a Pakistani brickmaker would consider to be prosperity—you know what? There's only four things we do better than anyone else:

music
movies
microcode (software),
high-speed pizza delvery

DrakePegasus posted:

That line actually gives be hope that IB is more like a qunari-flavored Jayne than Sten 3.0.

precision posted:

Captain Oblivious posted:

I don't know if I'd even call Witcher combat legitimately tough. It's more that there's a right way and a wrong way to fight. The right way is to use Quen, even after the nerfs. The wrong way is to not use Quen.

CitrusFrog posted:

After getting my rear end handed to me repeatedly by Letho at the end of the game on Dark difficulty I decided to try mixing it up, Quen was fine for regular engagements with regular enemies or earlier minibosses but let me just say that Aard is woefully underappreciated. With liberal use and knocking him backwards into a wall, I was able to kill that baldy bastard in under a minute.

CitrusFrog posted:

After getting my rear end handed to me repeatedly by Letho at the end of the game on Dark difficulty I decided to try mixing it up, Quen was fine for regular engagements with regular enemies or earlier minibosses but let me just say that Aard is woefully underappreciated. With liberal use and knocking him backwards into a wall, I was able to kill that baldy bastard in under a minute.

Kibayasu posted:

After spending 20 minutes trying to kill Letho the first time I just let him walk. Plus it seemed thematically appropriate at that point. Got Triss back and just went "gently caress it. Got mine. Later assholes."

precision posted:

Still kind of funny that they recycled the DLC sword to give the Iron Bull for whatever reason.

Captain Oblivious posted:

Hawkes Key? Iron Bulls weapon is not Hawkes Key. Similar shape of the blade though.

Geostomp posted:

Nah, I remember some other DLC sword like the one Iron Bull has. It was some promotional item good for the early game that looked like an oversized vegetable peeler.

Geostomp posted:

Nah, I remember some other DLC sword like the one Iron Bull has. It was some promotional item good for the early game that looked like an oversized vegetable peeler.

Captain Oblivious posted:

Hey now that you mention it that does ring a bell. Can't remember the name though.

dog kisser posted:

Yeah, no, those quotes are funny and y'all are stick in the muds.

Maylo posted:

Hardass warden confirmed

Maylo posted:

Hardass warden confirmed

SorcerousHam posted:

It's probably because the helmet has a nigh worthless noseguard that is really thin and makes his face look stupid.

Also I can't tell. Is that razor weapon meant to be an oversized club or a sword?

Kajeesus posted:

I like that you can tell on Jowan in the mage origin and end up not being in trouble or getting expelled toward the end. Since it was my second playthrough, getting Jowan in trouble seemed like the right thing to do. I don't remember how they railroaded you into becoming a Warden anyway; I think you just only get dialogue choices that end with you volunteering. Not gonna replay to find out.

Litany Unheard posted:

If I remember correctly, the Templar in charge implies that he's gonna Tranquil you just in case. So off to join the Wardens!

Captain Oblivious posted:

Yeah it's really dumb, and especially makes no sense in the context of Gregoir's later characterization in the game.

Cythereal posted:

your responses from there are two or three versions of "I'll go be a Grey Warden."