Lottery of Babylon posted:

Grim Dark and Worse Than Cupcakes

Lottery of Babylon posted:

the Westboro Baptist Church,

Soulcleaver posted:

This would have potential to be hilarious if it wasn't a damned troper writing it.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Product Placement: Used several times in the story. In the beginning, Fred Phelps mentions going to McDonald's, and throughout the story there are "advertisements" for popular websites such as Google Maps or Facebook.

Morkyz posted:

sweeperbravo posted:

Wait waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait wait. Does everyone's post seriously now display their relationship status or is that just this one moron? MBecause hohoholy poo poo

HGH posted:

Browsing forums, it seems like it's probably some optional profile setting thing.

Jerry Manderbilt posted:

"Pragmatically against brutality" deserves more attention.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

EQRG

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Westboro in Equestria is a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

Swan Oat posted:

jesus christ why

Wales Grey posted:

double edit:


are you loving with me

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/106436/westboro-in-equestria posted:

Fred Phelps, Shirley Phelps-Roper, and Jack Wu are Westboro Baptist Church members. One day, a magic tornado hits their church in Topeka, whisking them away to the colorful world of Equestria.

Now, with a highly-irritated Twilight Sparkle to guide them, they must make their way to Canterlot in the hopes that Princess Celestia will be able to send them home. Along the road, ponies try to teach them some valuable lessons about friendship. Will they listen and find hearts and brains, or will even Equestria fail to reform these wicked witches?

The plot, cover image font, and song parodies are shamelessly stolen from the Wizard of Oz.

Swan Oat posted:

jesus christ why

Somfin posted:

The assumption that this is a thing that writers do because it happens all the time in their favourite shows and movies, rather than a thing that producers force writers to do and thus it happens all the time in their favourite shows and movies.

Improbable Lobster posted:

CWC did the same thing in Sonichu do Autism is the probable cause.

Morkyz posted:

The Vosgian Beast posted:

By the way, what is this referring to?

Morkyz posted:

Swan Oat posted:

jesus christ why

Wales Grey posted:

are you loving with me

Anticheese posted:

Did Major Washout ever finish his book?

Anticheese posted:

Did Major Washout ever finish his book?

cptn_dr posted:

He didn't quit, but his superiors asked him to stop.

Anticheese posted:

Did Major Washout ever finish his book?

Finisher1 posted:

I'm not sure that he ever even started. All I remember seeing of it were trope descriptions of what Major Tom envisioned his work would be like when it was eventually finished.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/EndlessConflict posted:

In the year 2472, open war has begun between the forces of the Starlight Alliance and the Preyaran Daemonyte. As battles in space and on land erupt, the Cold War of the past centuries boils over in a grand struggle to end the Endless Conflict once and for all.

Or so the sides hope.

Endless Conflict tells the story of Mathias "Mat" Watkins, Tenchi Yamanaka, and a young Terran named Daniel as they live and fight the final phase of the eponymous conflict to whatever conclusion it may bring. Spanning a planned trilogy, the series begins where it all begins early on for the characters, exploring who they are and why they are that way but then thrusts them straight into the action as the universe drags them straight into the conflict and continues on from there.

The series is notable for its Deconstruction of the Space Marine and traditional futuristic military sci while set in a grand Space Opera. Tactics are examined, personalities exposed, and even the lines between sides grows blurred as the story unfolds. Additionally, nothing major about the series is planned and created ahead of time because the author hates outlining though connecting the major events is largely done on improvisation or freewriting.

A labor several years in the making from a design standpoint, and as of yet still far from finished, Endless Conflict strives to be the best it can be or die trying. If I ever get it finished and/or published that is...

This series also is known for being poorly written and eternally unfinished.

Every war has Tropes, even supposedly this one. (note: Everything mentioned here has either been written or is planned to be written into the series by the time it is finished.)

Testekill posted:

He's the guy who wrote that one fic with the line "the dickgirls opened fire" right?

cptn_dr posted:

Dryerball is still the stupidest name for a planet I've ever heard, and I've been in some pretty bad Sci-Fi RPs, let alone reading a mountain of bad sci-fi as a kid.

Arcsquad12 posted:

Wait, Dryerball was actually in his writing? I thought it was just some stupid name goons made up that was slapped on the work like a joke.

Breetai posted:

I've said it before but it bears repeating:

You have to remember that tropers essentially engage in cargo cult literature, where they can recognise the components of a story, but not how they interlock and work. Which is why you see story descriptions that have the names of tropes liberally peppered through them as if a story is nothing but a collection of clichés put together into a cohesive mass of horribleness.

By way of analogy: A troper will spend years learning about what kind of ingredients typically go into cakes, and compile an exhaustive list of every ingredient and what they taste like on their own. Then the troper will present all of the other tropers with a bowl full of whole unshelled eggs, raw flour, oil, milk, and sugar, all in unstirred heaps, and say 'look at my cake'! And everyone will agree that the cake is delicious because it has eggs, flour, oil, milk, and sugar in it.

And there's an unopened packet of instant icing on top, and the icing is rape.

quote:

I'd say that these pages are proof that TV Tropes and tropers have a 'Cargo Cult' mindset when it comes to story telling and tropes...Like the island tribes that built imitation airstrips and radio equipment in the wake of WWII, they have taken these tropes, these building blocks that they have no idea how to use or what to do with, and they have put them on a pedestal, not as narrative devices, but as memes they can use to substitute for actual thoughts and statements.

TV Tropes is a website of confused islanders, building straw airplanes and cutting fake landing strips hoping that they'll magically create a real airport.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Motherly Scootaloo (formerly Pregnant Scootaloo)

Swan Oat posted:

Please post all the Major Tom excerpts please they are the funniest TVTropes writing ever. The chapter names were also really good.

And yeah it was a couple years ago that I read all his goofy poo poo but I'm pretty sure Dryerball or Dryorball is the real name of a planet. Archives are back up you have no excuse to not post!!!

quote:

Chapter Seventeen: The Flames Of War

June 23, 2472: 1213 hours. Elysium City, capital of Elysium colony.

“Scorpion Five this is Traveller 2-3, be advised we have eyes on a large concentration of Terran armor headed in your vicinity, how copy over?”

“Copy Traveller 2-3, we’re dug in at a large civilian office building, we got eyes on multiple Terran APCs, IFVs, tanks and light tactical vehicles arranged in a dual stacked protective column. Standing by to engage over.”

“Scorpion Five to Mantis Actual, requesting fire support for fire mission, rocket artillery barrage at ……. to fire on our mark over.”

“Scorpion Five, Mantis Actual. Locust Seven is standing by awaiting your call.”

“Copy. Locust Seven this is Scorpion Five we have engaged Terran armor and attached infantry on our position at………questing fire support for fire mission. Enemy armor and infantry in the open and advancing on our position.”

“Scorpion Five, rocket batteries on full standby preparing to fire….Shot over.”

“Shot out!”

“Splash over.”

“Splash out!”

“Target hit over?”

“Target hit out!”

“Mantis Actual, Scorpion Five, be advised report multiple Terran armored vehicles disabled or destroyed and the rest of the convoy is in retreat, we’re on mission continue…”

“Skysweeper Three to Mantis Actual, requesting air cover ov………my Kitsune batteries have run dry and we’re running on AA guns only, significant Terran air power overhead and have been hit by multiple attack runs over.”

“Skysweeper Three, Mantis Actual be advised most of our air support is already engaged. We’ll divert some air cover over to your position, in the meantime your orders are to fall back to secondary ADA position southwest of your present. Notifying Mantis Prime of the change in air cover.”

“Emerald Actual, Emerald Three! We have engaged multiple Terran infantry across the river to the east of the park, our position is being contested heavily across two directions. Our position is danger of being over-…”

“Emerald Actual, Emerald Five, Emerald Three is down and we are pinned down by heavy fire from Terran infantry taking defensive positions in the nearby buildings to our east and north! Where the hell are you? We need additional manpower now!”

“Mantis Actual, this is Dragonfly 3-6, my flight of four A-22 Mirais are in position and beginning our run on enemy armor column. Standby for update over.”

“Standing by.”

“Mantis Actual, this is Dragonfly 3-6, enemy armor column has been disabled. Target ratio is fifty over one hundred. Returning to base.”

Anzan opened his eyes as the last radio transmission ceased. All around him the white and pink petals of the cherry trees fluttered about in the air as he sat on the bench beneath him. Spring had come to Elysium City just in time for the sakura petals to bloom and fall as they did every year. Today a grey sky pervaded the blizzard of petals amongst the cherry grove here in Elysium City Park and a light rain pattered about the trees pelting each remaining petal with a light tap. This comforted Anzan inside, the light rain dimming the noise of distant battle elsewhere in the city. But the peaceful scene in the cherry grove he knew would not last forever as similar brief bloomings were common in the Antara cherry tree back home.

“It is time my son, we are moving.” Swordmaster Khornan said before growing curious of the expression on Anzan’s face. “Are you okay my son?”

“Look at them all father. The petals fall like fresh snow all around us, just like spring back home.”

Khornan walked over and sat beside his son as the rain and cherry blossoms continued to fall around them, rainwater washing over their blue hair.

“Yes. And like back home they carry the message of both birth and death. I greatly fear that one day we will not have enough trees to honor all the dead of this war. But truly this is a wondrous gift to see despite what is says.”

“I fear the same will happen too father.” Anzan replied in understanding.

“I never told you this much before when you were younger, but I’ve always carried a deep liking for scenes like these. So peaceful compared to the constant reminders of the eternal conflict around us. Do you know how many Lancers have died in since I became Swordmaster?”

“No father.”

“Two million, four hundred thirty two thousand, three hundred and two. Every last one of them I keep as a reminder of what my charge as Swordmaster is and the trials even I have yet to come. One day you too may know what it means to be this. But I pray that in your lifetime at least, there shall be the peace honorable warriors like us deserve, if not victory in our hearts at the end.”

Khornan stood back up from the bench. “But in the meantime, we must do as we’re needed. Not only for our own honor but to preserve our people’s future.”

Anzan stood up next to him. “And that is why we are here on this world. To protect and defend those we swear on our lives and our honor over.”

JosephWongKS posted:

Below is the chapter with katana-wielding aliens discussing honor in a field of cherry blossom trees, as mentioned by WeaponGradeSadness above.

Hammurabi posted:

trying to write a novel as an anime, is a really terrible idea (especially if you're as hilariously bad at writing as most tropers).

Major Tom in Writer's Block Daily thread posted:

I just thought of a summary of each episode/chapter of my Siege of Dreyorball arc.

Chapter 23: The Siege of Dreyorball Part 1: David Vs Goliath Duel Above A Super-Earth
Admiral Mei Lin finds herself in unexpected circumstances and a new enemy as Judicator Jornal plots something special.

Chapter 24: The Siege of Dreyorball Part 2: The Airfield at the Forest
Captain Mathias Watkins and Judicator Jornal team up to strike a communications relay at a major airfield, what Mathias doesn't expect is what he sees from Jornal and his true objective...

Chapter 25: The Siege of Dreyorball Part 3: Sometimes All You Need Is A Second Chance
Admiral Lin tries again to break the Preyarans' defense. This time however it seems easier without the threat from the red and white...

Chapter 26: The Siege of Dreyorball Part 4: Pursuit of Friendship
Captain Watkins, Judicator Jornal and their crews escape the airfield to link up with Colonel Smith's strike team and reinforcements.

Chapter 27: The Siege of Dreyorball Part 5: Edge Of The Sword
An armor assault by Colonel Smith to break the deadlock meets heavy resistance and a red and white colored foe...

Chapter 28: The Siege of Dreyorball Part 6: The Final Flight Of The Phoenix
Aided by the frigate CSS Phoenix at low altitude, Colonel Smith and his crew stage another attempt at breaking a key army facility. The red and white however ultimately has other plans...

Chapter 29: The Siege of Dreyorball Part 7: Onigoroshi-hen ~ The Demonslaying Chapter
Fed up with being hindered by the red and white, Colonel Smith calls his custom M-Tech the Black Knight back into service. But just when he's finally located his foe, a new battle emerges between Smith's protege Mathias and the red and white's pilot. Did those two have a connection to each other from years past?

Chapter 30: Wayward Sister
Medical search and rescue officer Lieutenant Samantha Watkins receives her new assignment and a new team member out of an old friend. However she finds herself at the wrong destination at a very wrong time.

Chapter 31: Cold Pursuit ~ Wayward Sister
Crash landed upon the ice moon of Sinhalin, Lieutenant Samantha Watkins and her crew struggle to deal with the freezing cold and Preyaran patrols as secretly a lone sniper who can't miss and a protective brother move in her direction.

Chapter 32: Cosmic Fairytale
Captain Roy Jansen, meet Captain Mathias Watkins...

quote:

Captain Mathias Watkins switched off his radio. “I had Colonel Smith on the line. Friendly forces have made landfall to the southeast and are advancing in every direction. He’s coming in to pick us up out of here. ETA is roughly in about an hour.”

“That’s not good enough Captain Watkins. We’ll have been pasted into the ground for at least 30 minutes. My men report the Preyarans are massing for a counterattack. At least two full battalions’ worth. If I were them I would be running mainly an infantry attack, they’ll be thinking my fighters are now using this as a base. Worse, they’ll be thinking we’re a much larger force than we really are. They’ll likely attack from the north and east.” Judicator Jornal said.

“Then we’re just going to have to go out and delay them at the north and east gates. We’ll use what we have here to do so.”

“Right, we’ll set up three lines of fougasse charges using some fuel from the base. One here near the tower and two more, one near each gate. We’ll run a staggered fallback and delay them all the way to the tower and hold our ground there until Colonel Smith arrives.”

“Then we don’t have any time to waste… Let’s do this.”

quote:

“Indeed.” Khornan finished as he and Anzan began walking out of the cherry grove.

As the pair emerged from underneath the trees of the park, the serene peacefulness of the grove quickly gave way to the reality of the city around them. Anti-aircraft fire lit up the sky in almost every direction and bright flashes from distant explosions continuously lit up the horizon. The thundering of those explosions and the distant gunfire continually sounded from every direction as well. The pattering of light rain drowned out amidst the sound of battle. Around Anzan, other Lancers quickly gathered as the Swordmaster took point to the north. At the same time a pair of Mirai fighters screamed overhead headed south as they returned from an attack run somewhere in the city.

“Traveller 2-3, give us an update. We are receiving reports of enemy attack aircraft approaching from the northeast, can you confirm over?”

“Affirmative, we got eyes on multiple tilt-thruster attack aircraft coming in at low altitude.”

Anzan remembered he had left the radio on to receive, but he figured it might be worth listening to what is happening in the battle around him.

“Alright everyone, our battleplan is going to be simple for this one. Hilancer Lord Kasen has an advance portion of his division advanced onto our side of the river and has called for assistance. His efforts are vital in our plans for the region therefore we must not fail in reaching him and assisting in every possible way we can. Do all of you understand?” Khornan said addressing the nearby group.

The group Anzan included nodded in affirmation.

“Very well, let’s move!”

The cadre of Lancers quickly advanced three hundred meters to the north catching sight of Kasen’s detachment holding position with Swordmaster Khornan holding amongst the lead. Ahead of them on a small rolling grassy rise, several A-32 “Kappa” main battle tanks held position alongside A-34 “Kasha” tracked IF Vs and flanked by several Karakasa light tactical vehicles. Preyaran infantry packed in all along the line continuously firing out towards the north and enemy fire from the north passed by them or impacting into the light mud and grass they stood on. On the right of the defensive line a tall Preyaran adorned with deep red hair stood about directing nearby Lancers to keep pushing forward onto the line and directing fire from the vehicles.

“Maintain a base of fire towards the north, concentrate your attention on heavy weapons crews and dug in positions!” Hilancer Lord Kasen yelled out directing the nearby Lancers about him.

“Lord Kasen, what is your status?” Khornan said to the red haired Preyaran as he rushed over to him on foot.

The rest of the Lancers following Khornan including Anzan quickly followed behind. On the line two Lancers quickly dropped to the ground, cut down by enemy fire. A third stumbled over as a particle bolt struck her in the right shoulder. As others rushed over to help, she signaled she would be alright and that the bolt didn’t penetrate her armor.

“Not good Swordmaster, my advance team is pinned down by a large dug in line of Terran infantry on the far side of the road cutting through this part of the park near the soccer field! Better yet, Terran infantry forces have formed a strongpoint over in the four story building to the northeast!” Kasen replied pointing to a nearby damaged four story commercial building. “They have barricaded their position with missiles, heavy weapons fire and-“

“INCOMING!” One of the nearby Lancers shouted as several rocket artillery rounds began impacting along the Preyarans’ line. Meanwhile a Terran 90mm FGM-255 Javelin anti-armor missile popped up from the top of the four story building flying upwards towards the sky before stalling in mid flight, turning back down and rapidly accelerating towards its target a Kappa main battle tank on the far left side of the vehicle formation. A large explosion quickly erupted from the left side as the tank burst open. A second Javelin missile quickly followed streaming into the air towards the south, sending an approaching Mirai fighter tumbling and rolling to the right as it flew burning overhead to the northeast.

“As I said, they have barricaded in with missiles, heavy weapons fire, and machine guns raining hell on my advance force!” Kasen said as several more rocket artillery rounds exploded along his line. The Kappa and Kasha armored vehicles traded fire in return towards the enemy line. “It gets even better too! I have reports coming in that Terran armor and attack aircraft are counterattacking from the north and northwest headed right for this position! I cannot move the rest of my division to engage from across the river while that strongpoint rains hell here!”

“Understood. We’ll hit the strongpoint at the four story building and do what we can to break up the infantry line. Once we’re in the building, begin moving the rest of your division up from across the river. We’ll provide covering and supporting fire from there at every available opportunity. Can you provide us with some supporting fire and maybe some spare manpower to help us get there?” Khornan said as enemy fire intensified all around the battle.

“I’ll direct whatever I can spare to help out. Just get in there and help us help you.” Kasen replied.

Several more rocket artillery rounds exploded amongst the line, one of them striking a Lancer directly not thirty meters from Kasen and Khornan. As the dirt began clearing it became readily evident nothing larger than a shoe remained of the poor soul.

“Alright, you heard Kasen, let’s move! Be fast and don’t stop for anything!” Khornan said over to his men as a Kappa on the right side of the line moved into firing position along the northbound road running on the right side of the Preyaran line.

Anzan and the other Lancers, joined by several from Kasen’s position began taking off in a run towards the Terran position in the four story building. At the same time, machine gun positions overlooking the field due south of it opened up on Khornan’s group as they advanced.

“Keep moving forward through the machine gun fire! We got to get to the building!” Khornan yelled as several Lancers to his left and right were cut down. Still he kept his pace running forward towards his destination.

Anzan followed close behind fully clutching his now unslung A-4 particle rifle tightly in both hands. Like Khornan he too kept up his pace running the gamut of machine gun fire through the field. At the same time, several rocket artillery rounds directed at the field itself began impacting one by one. One round slammed to the left of the Lancer ahead of Anzan blowing him over to the right and severing his left leg. Anzan quickly jumped over the downed Lancer and kept going. Another round impacted behind him.

A 90mm particle bolt from the Kappa on the left road impacted the second floor corner of the Terran strongpoint blowing a large hole out of the building while at the lead of the formation Khornan was getting close, a brick barricade adorning the side of the street in front of the building was now less than fifty meters away from him. Just behind Khornan, Anzan caught sight of a Kasha IFV advancing on the building over to his right on the north bound road. Two more rocket artillery rounds impacted near him, one engulfing a pair of Lancers to his left while he heard machine gun fire cut down three more Lancers behind him. At the same moment another Javelin missile popped up from the top of the building flying up towards the sky before coming back down on the Kappa on the road destroying it. Finally making it to the brick barricade, Anzan ducked behind it as cover to catch a quick breath. Several more Lancers quickly followed behind with several more just behind them.

The Kasha on the right came to a stop by the corner before training its gun on the first floor of the building and opening fire with its 40mm autocannon firing multiple particle bolts into the Terran defenders behind the windows. Several small explosions burst from the walls as the Kasha’s fire hit the facade.

“Lord Kasen, we’re at the base of the strongpoint. Begin moving your division up, we’re heading inside.” Khornan quickly radioed before turning to the surviving Lancers around him huddled at the brick wall. “We can’t stay here, the Kasha’s got them suppressed for now, but it’s a drat killzone behind us. There’s no choice now but to get inside and clear them out.”