Stargate: "I do not understand why everything in the script must inevitably explode."

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Stargate: "I do not understand why everything in the script must inevitably explode."

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Raygereio: Nov 12, 2012

bobkatt013 posted:

Also didn't they have Todd with them?

Yep. In the books set after the series Todd returns to the Pegasus galaxy.

# ? Jun 6, 2014 18:00

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 12:40

Pellisworth: Jun 20, 2005

Ur Getting Fatter posted:

I honestly refuse to believe that Atlantis didn't have a ZPM-factory in one of those unexplored portions of the city.

Knowing the Ancients, it was probably a terribly impractical factory that required a human sacrifice for each ZPM produced and also most likely destroyed a random universe each time it was used.

Wasn't this pretty much exactly a plot for an Atlantis episode? It's been so long since I watched it, but I remember something about a power generator (ZPM recharging or replacement?) that tore holes in universes or some other interdimensional fuckery and they had to shut it down.

Edit: I was pretty close! http://stargate.wikia.com/wiki/Trinity_%28episode%29

Pellisworth fucked around with this message at 18:14 on Jun 6, 2014

# ? Jun 6, 2014 18:10

dpkg chopra: Jun 9, 2007; Fast Food Fight; Grimey Drawer

Pellisworth posted:

Wasn't this pretty much exactly a plot for an Atlantis episode? It's been so long since I watched it, but I remember something about a power generator (ZPM recharging or replacement?) that tore holes in universes or some other interdimensional fuckery and they had to shut it down.

Edit: I was pretty close! http://stargate.wikia.com/wiki/Trinity_%28episode%29

Yeah, that was a new power source that was supposed to blow ZPMs out of the water but something something exotic particles and McKay blows up an entire solar system.

# ? Jun 6, 2014 18:56

Dirty: Apr 8, 2003; Ceci n'est pas un fabricant de pates

Ur Getting Fatter posted:

Yeah, that was a new power source that was supposed to blow ZPMs out of the water but something something exotic particles and McKay blows up an entire solar system.

Well, three-quarters...

# ? Jun 6, 2014 19:02

Pellisworth: Jun 20, 2005

Dirty posted:

Well, three-quarters...

Five-sixths, to be precise.

# ? Jun 6, 2014 19:04

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
=
LASER SKATES

Ur Getting Fatter posted:

Yeah, that was a new power source that was supposed to blow ZPMs out of the water but something something exotic particles and McKay blows up an entire solar system.

There's also the episode where they figure out a way to charge ZPMs and almost destroy an alternate Universe and cool-McKay shows up...

that episode was so :smith:

for McKay.

# ? Jun 6, 2014 19:05

dpkg chopra: Jun 9, 2007; Fast Food Fight; Grimey Drawer

JetsGuy posted:

There's also the episode where they figure out a way to charge ZPMs and almost destroy an alternate Universe and cool-McKay shows up...

that episode was so for McKay.

What I liked about that episode is that, IIRC, they implied that ZPMs are basically bottle-universes that are slowly forced into total entropy as all energy is sucked out of them.

I like to think that each of those bottle-universes had their own civilizations so basically the Ancients were powering their flying city via mass genocides.

Edit: someone is probably going to correct me on this with some techno-babble but I don't care THE ANCIENTS WERE MULTIPLE-MASS-GENOCIDERS NEVER FORGET.

dpkg chopra fucked around with this message at 19:14 on Jun 6, 2014

# ? Jun 6, 2014 19:10

mcswizzle: Jul 26, 2009

Ur Getting Fatter posted:

What I liked about that episode is that, IIRC, they implied that ZPMs are basically bottle-universes that are slowly forced into total entropy as all energy is sucked out of them.

I like to think that each of those bottle-universes had their own civilizations so basically the Ancients were powering their flying city via mass genocides.

Edit: someone is probably going to correct me on this with some techno-babble but I don't care THE ANCIENTS WERE MULTIPLE-MASS-GENOCIDERS NEVER FORGET.

I don't think anyone is going to argue that the ancients are dicks

# ? Jun 6, 2014 21:25

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
=
LASER SKATES

mcswizzle posted:

the ancients are dicks

JetsGuy posted:

Python code:

import propulsion as prop
import makeplans as mkpln
import gate_functionality as gate

class launch(object)

    def __init__(self)
        # lol fixed bug which let Stargates not go to fun
        # locations! - Bill
        destination_types = ['Space', 'Volcano', 'TimeWarp', 'CityHighway', 'Forest']
        #destination_types = ['Forest', 'Plains', 'Desert']

        flight_plan =  mkpln.getflight(destination_types)
        prop.launch(flight_plan)

        # WHO THE HELL COMMENTED OUT THE GATE FUN FUNCTION? --BILL
        gate.operations = gate_fun()

    def gate_fun(self)
        if black_hole
            gate.set_turnoff = False
        
        if traveler["entry_point"] == gate['exit_gate']
            gate.kill_all()

        if prop["flight_path"] is in stars["positions"]
            gate.exit_time(random_time=True)

        if gate["buffer_runtime"] >= 84000.
             gate.kill_buffer()

        if not gate.DHD
            gate.error_reporting(text="Windings")

# ? Jun 6, 2014 21:30

Nullsmack: Dec 7, 2001; Digital apocalypse

I always liked how every time they found live ancients or ancient-analogs in space those people had the ancient laser pistols but they never found those anywhere else. They always used the wraith weapons when they wanted to use energy weapons. Or the anti-replicator weapons or Ronan's blaster revolver thing. A city the size of Manhatten and they didn't find a cache of those somewhere? Or maybe they did and decided they'd rather use expendable bullets instead because why not.

Also there were a few times that humans were dicks to replicators when the replicators didn't deserve it. It soured relations later on, unsurprisingly. I think there was a chance for humans to be cool with human-form replicators in both series and they hosed it up both times.

# ? Jun 7, 2014 04:07

Mu Zeta: Oct 17, 2002; Me crush ass to dust

I really like the 2-parter Atlantis episodes with the rear end in a top hat Asgard. Lots of Todd. And Drs. Rodney McKay and Daniel Jackson squabbling like an old married couple. They get in a few sick burns too. And I love how everyone calls him Todd now and it's not just a nickname.

# ? Jun 7, 2014 08:37

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

If you introduced the concept of OSHA to the ancients you'd blow their loving minds

# ? Jun 9, 2014 03:16

Avulsion: Feb 12, 2006; I never knew what hit me

Just-In-Timeberlake posted:

If you introduced the concept of OSHA to the ancients you'd blow their loving minds

They've already got a machine that does that.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 06:41

Meatwave: Feb 21, 2014; Truest Detective - Work Crew Division.

Just-In-Timeberlake posted:

If you introduced the concept of OSHA to the ancients you'd blow their loving minds

They probably handwaved accidents because of ascension.

"Today, Jimothy ^{_{^_(probably)}} ascended after walking in front of an activating wormhole with his headphones on. This is the second major ascension event this week after Bob invented a really great lethal virus then accidentally left it sitting in one of our many unlabeled and unsecured rooms. Bob you rascal! Oh you're not Bob? Well, don't touch a body-swap stone unless you want to be Bob. BOB, IF YOU'RE TRAPPED IN ANOTHER DIMENSION, TRY TO ASCEND! If you don't want to be ascended, people, you should be a little more careful."

Basically, they were Aperture Laboratories.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 06:49

HUGE SPACEKABLOOIE: Mar 31, 2010

Avulsion posted:

They've already got a machine that does that.

It kills half the users.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 06:55

Major Isoor: Mar 23, 2011

Geez, just saw "Family Ties" and although in a way it didn't really make a lot of sense, (since isn't Vala supposed to be quite old, what with her Goa'uld screwing over Athena - or whoever it was - a long time ago, for that treasure trove? So how is her father still alive?) Teal'c really should've investigated what he was going to be seeing, after receiving those tickets!

Major Isoor fucked around with this message at 10:03 on Jun 9, 2014

# ? Jun 9, 2014 08:00

Raygereio: Nov 12, 2012

Major Isoor posted:

Geez, just saw "Family Ties" and although in a way it didn't really make a lot of sense, (since isn't Vala supposed to be quite old, what with her Gou'uld screwing over Athena - or whoever it was - a long time ago, for that treasure trove?

The Goa'uld Qetesh was around for quite some time, but Vala was a host for just a short while.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 09:40

Major Isoor: Mar 23, 2011

Raygereio posted:

The Goa'uld Qetesh was around for quite some time, but Vala was a host for just a short while.

Hm ok then, it's just the wording that the other Goa'uld used when Vala asked "Do I know you?" upon being captured on Earth is all, but that makes sense too.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 10:05

Senor Tron: May 26, 2006

Major Isoor posted:

Hm ok then, it's just the wording that the other Goa'uld used when Vala asked "Do I know you?" upon being captured on Earth is all, but that makes sense too.

Carter had the whole Goa'uldar thing going on for quite a while after being a Tokra host, maybe it works the other way where they can recognise people who have previously hosted a Goa'uld.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 11:39

Major Isoor: Mar 23, 2011

Urgh, just watched "Unending"...that episode...
First the Asgard throw in the towel, then they Odyssey gets all that cool tech, then everyone's trapped aboard for fifty or so years...And to think the only real follow-up is the movie! This is truly heart-breaking, and I've still got both movies and two seasons of Atlantis to go...
:negative:

_{All that sparring and Cello practice gone to waste!}

# ? Jun 9, 2014 12:19

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

Raygereio posted:

The Goa'uld Qetesh was around for quite some time, but Vala was a host for just a short while.

See I could have sworn that she said she was a host for 100 years in her first appearance.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 19:16

Meatwave: Feb 21, 2014; Truest Detective - Work Crew Division.

I thought the Tokra's patented Goa'uld removal process only left sane people behind if they weren't hosts for long. So she couldn't have been a host for that long. Then gain, Vala wasn't exactly a sane person.

Also, we're meant to take her entire history as highly embellished.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 19:24

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Rhyno posted:

See I could have sworn that she said she was a host for 100 years in her first appearance.

We meet her dad so either they are naturally long living or they are liars.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 19:29

Snak: Oct 10, 2005; I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.; Grimey Drawer

"Family Ties" is an incredibly jarring retcon of Vala's origin that undermines a lot of her backstory.

Someone should make a list of all the episodes in any show where a character's relative in a con artist who shows up and disappoints them, turns out to care in their own way, and still leaves like a piece of poo poo.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 21:22

DirtyRobot: Dec 15, 2003; it was a normally happy sunny day... but Dirty Robot was dirty

"Family Ties" is the worst episode. You can see everything coming a mile away. It retcons things needlessly. It's just bad.

I don't even find the Vagina Monologues joke at the end that good.

# ? Jun 9, 2014 23:59

Light Gun Man: Oct 17, 2009; toEjaM iS oN
vaCatioN; Lipstick Apathy

Vala is a bad character in general and really brings down the show's quality I think. Farscape guy is inoffensively bland by comparison.

The only good thing about Vala is getting Daniel to be Hans Olo and showing us a rare look at a space culture that is not apparently involved in the System Lords time capsule culture program (that one episode with the race around the planets or whatever it was).

# ? Jun 10, 2014 00:21

dpkg chopra: Jun 9, 2007; Fast Food Fight; Grimey Drawer

Light Gun Man posted:

Vala is a bad character in general and really brings down the show's quality I think. Farscape guy is inoffensively bland by comparison.

The only good thing about Vala is getting Daniel to be Hans Olo and showing us a rare look at a space culture that is not apparently involved in the System Lords time capsule culture program (that one episode with the race around the planets or whatever it was).

Isn't that a season 5 episode where it turns out Carter is a biker chick (for the sole reason that Amanda Tapping is a biker chick IRL) and then some alien they helped once invites them to participate in a space Nascar?

# ? Jun 10, 2014 00:27

Light Gun Man: Oct 17, 2009; toEjaM iS oN
vaCatioN; Lipstick Apathy

It is possible that I am confusing things, yes. It has been awhile. I just thought it was nice to see what seemed like an actual space civ that had poo poo to do other than be slaves to snakes or some technology / space danger gone wrong.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 01:20

cochise: Sep 11, 2011

http://stargate.wikia.com/wiki/Space_Race

That episode was really cool. I'm totally there with you about seeing other parts of the galaxy that didn't involve the Goa'uld.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 02:47

Mu Zeta: Oct 17, 2002; Me crush ass to dust

Star Trek Voyager has an episode exactly like Space Race. It had the Nascar style announcers too.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 03:04

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

Senor Tron posted:

Carter had the whole Goa'uldar thing going on for quite a while after being a Tokra host, maybe it works the other way where they can recognise people who have previously hosted a Goa'uld.

I remember a Goa'uld sensing that Carter was once a host during one of the many times SG-1 was captured.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 03:31

GodFish: Oct 10, 2012; We're your first, last, and only line of defense. We live in secret. We exist in shadow.

And we dress in black.

Seth does, and I think someone else. Sokar's torture planet guy maybe?

# ? Jun 10, 2014 03:45

Suspicious: Apr 30, 2005; You know he's the villain, because he's got shifty eyes.

Apophis, when they find him dying, says he senses a presence in her.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 03:49

Avulsion: Feb 12, 2006; I never knew what hit me

Goa'uld have Naquadah in them, and when the symbiote dies in the host it leaves a residue in the blood. This trace of Naquadah allows Goa'uld and former hosts to easily recognize other hosts on sight since the Naquadah will somehow interact over short distances. The Naquadah in the blood is also required for using a lot of Goa'uld tech, like the healing devices.

This was a plot point in an episode where SG-1 was investigating some weird poo poo in a town on earth, and in the end it turns out that the NID cloned a bunch of braindead symbiotes which got loose and started turning people into zombies. Since the cloned symbiotes were grown in a lab and never had contact with Naquadah, Carter couldn't sense their presence.

Apparently "Naquadah" is included in Chrome's spellcheck dictionary.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 05:38

Snak: Oct 10, 2005; I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.; Grimey Drawer

Mu Zeta posted:

Star Trek Voyager has an episode exactly like Space Race. It had the Nascar style announcers too.

This was all I could think of during the episode.

Ur Getting Fatter posted:

Isn't that a season 5 episode where it turns out Carter is a biker chick (for the sole reason that Amanda Tapping is a biker chick IRL) and then some alien they helped once invites them to participate in a space Nascar?

It's totally in-character for Carter, just not often brought up in the workplace. Look at the cars she drives. She also mentions at some point in one of the earlier seasons that she's restoring an old bike.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 18:45

Meatwave: Feb 21, 2014; Truest Detective - Work Crew Division.

I watched a BBC Horizon documentary from 1999 about Atlantis, and they played the Stargate music throughout it.

Stargate Atlantis didn't come out for several more years. HOW DID THEY KNOW?

# ? Jun 12, 2014 14:31

Raenir Salazar: Nov 5, 2010; College Slice

Apoplexy posted:

Midway doesn't even matter at the point of the end of the series, since Atlantis is chilling in the San Francisco bay and nobody really wants anything to do with Pegasus anymore. Even though there's kick-rear end Asgard and probably a thousand more ZPMs there. I really wish the universe would continue. Sigh.

Didn't they bring it back because reasons?

# ? Jun 12, 2014 15:31

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
=
LASER SKATES

Mu Zeta posted:

Star Trek Voyager has an episode exactly like Space Race. It had the Nascar style announcers too.

Is that the one with the awful white uniforms they wore one time, and the Delta Flyer blew up and Tom and Belanna were floating in space declaring their space-love for each other?

Voyager.

# ? Jun 12, 2014 16:21

Apoplexy: Mar 9, 2003; by Shine

Raenir Salazar posted:

Didn't they bring it back because reasons?

They said they would've done this, yes, but there's not been anything actually filmed or aired that has that happening. Because Stargate's sitting on the shelf. :I

# ? Jun 13, 2014 04:35

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 12:40

Idran: Jan 13, 2005; Grimey Drawer

JetsGuy posted:

Is that the one with the awful white uniforms they wore one time, and the Delta Flyer blew up and Tom and Belanna were floating in space declaring their space-love for each other?

Voyager.

I think you're mixing two different episodes up. The white uniforms part was right, I think, but I think you're mixing it up with the episode where they were trying to get back their ejected warp core after it didn't really explode.

# ? Jun 13, 2014 04:47

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