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blakout posted:I have an amazing mental image of a huge group of Real Madrid fans with a map of the UK trying desperately to find Wrexham. It seems to be rather difficult to get to. "José, are you sure we should have taken a left at Llanfairfechan? We should have been heading towards Penmaenmawr but we seem to be in Ystradgynlais!"
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Jun 10, 2014 17:00
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I once had a takeover of a MLS team take 4 years. I think they went through 10 consortiums and a tycoon before it stuck.
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Jun 10, 2014 17:03
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I have been known to describe sports teams like the Los Angeles Dodgers and Pittsburgh Steelers in extremely and irrationally unkind terms before. I've had my own teams so-described to me by fans of the aforementioned clubs. It's all part of the game.
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Jun 10, 2014 17:09
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Cityinthesea posted:I once had a takeover of a MLS team take 4 years. I think they went through 10 consortiums and a tycoon before it stuck. Rangers are at 17 different bidders and counting over the past 3-4 years, so it's certainly possible in real football as well.
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Jun 10, 2014 17:27
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habeasdorkus posted:
 : Hello, I understand you're interested in buying Manchester United. I've got some contacts on the inside, and for a nominal finder's fee, I can help facilitate the transfer. I'm a very patient man, so even if it takes a while you can be sure I'll get you the best deal. The longer it takes, the better the deal!
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Jun 10, 2014 17:45
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GenHavoc posted:I have been known to describe sports teams like the Los Angeles Dodgers and Pittsburgh Steelers in extremely and irrationally unkind terms before. I've had my own teams so-described to me by fans of the aforementioned clubs. It's all part of the game. I wish the AFC West were a little more competitive sometimes so I could get some good hating in. Instead it's mostly just going 'aw, muffin' when the Raiders lose again or watching as the Chiefs once again unleash the pent up fury of perpetual third place and beat us at home in a game that, really, we should have won. Which I'm sure is cathartic for the Chiefs but it doesn't really provoke hate within me. Now the Pats and Tom Brady? I do love it when we beat the poo poo out of them. gently caress Tom Brady.
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Jun 10, 2014 18:09
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the JJ posted:Now the Pats and Tom Brady? I do love it when we beat the poo poo out of them. gently caress Tom Brady. I hate me some Tom Brady, but I had to admire the way that he surgically dismantled Tebow and the Broncos in the playoffs a couple years back. Wasn't long after that that Tebow ended up getting sent back down to the Stadium Leagues where he belongs.
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Jun 10, 2014 18:47
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Pfft, Brady is the best. At least when he's not up against Eli loving Manning. Ugh. I hate the lovely Manning. At least Peyton I can respect for being one of if not the best QB of all time. Eli is just the worst. Anyways, the Patriots are never going to win again with Brady. It's a pity, I really wanted him to get that fourth ring  . Still three more than Laserface Rivers will ever have.
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Jun 10, 2014 19:10
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Zeroisanumber posted:I hate me some Tom Brady, but I had to admire the way that he surgically dismantled Tebow and the Broncos in the playoffs a couple years back. Yeah, Tebow was a wonderful thing where I could channel my rage at my own organization. I mean, Kyle Orton wasn't great but I liked him. Of course, I can't really complain right now, so long as we're Frankensteining Manning into one more season before he breaks entirely.
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Jun 10, 2014 19:15
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habeasdorkus posted:Pfft, Brady is the best. At least when he's not up against Eli loving Manning. Ugh. I hate the lovely Manning. At least Peyton I can respect for being one of if not the best QB of all time. Eli is just the worst. 18-1, baby. 18-1. 
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Jun 10, 2014 19:26
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The Sandman posted:18-1, baby. 18-1. Eli Manning Best Manning 
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Jun 10, 2014 19:58
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Joe Flacco is still the best QB, nothing can change my mind on this. 
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Jun 10, 2014 20:09
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Excuse me, but you're all wrong. Alex Smith is the best QB, and that's that. And no, I'm not at all still bitter about Harbaugh just dumping his rear end after getting a taste of Kaepernick.
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Jun 10, 2014 20:13
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The Sandman posted:18-1, baby. 18-1. I prefer 18 and D'oh. Also, I don't know what you're talking about. Everyone knows they cancelled the Super Bowl that year because they were afraid of how badly the Patriots would destroy the Giants and just gave them the victory.
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Jun 10, 2014 20:19
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Chapter the Tenth: A lament for a lost season. April 1, 2022-April 18, 2022 Facing off against Real Madrid in Madrid, Manchester City at Wembley, and Arsenal at the Etihad shouldn't be that hard, right? Our season hangs in the balance, we haven't lost in the last 23 matches and if we want a shot at hardware we're going to have to keep that up for another two months.  Kais Rouissi still has a world class ceiling, but at 17 years old he hasn't made improvements by leaps and bounds that other, less talented players have. I'm pretty sure this is due to his personality, which is “Unambitious.” So I'm going to link him up with the “Determined” Dimitri Nieddu, and hopefully the Sardinian Sexpot's attitude will rub off on the young Frenchman.  Morvan has been good this season, he's now got the passing skills and creative vision to be a deep lying playmaker along with being a midfield destroyer.  If we'd been able to top Watford I could have won the award. Instead, it's another third place finish. Pobre entrenador. At Bradford, April 2, 2022 FA Cup, Sixth Round Replay  More success, less failure. Our trip to Madrid for the Champions League is in three days, so we're going to need the kids to step up. If we can't get past Bradford with this lineup, we don't deserve to make the semifinal. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: El Sayed, Pejkovic, Alvaro, O'Hanlon, Mejasic, Mair, Julio, Argenti, Rouissi, Taborda, Aarts. Subs: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Todd, Dixon, Bailey, Matko, Cardozo. Bradford come out trying to grab an early goal, and succeed in putting us on the defensive for the first quarter hour. Our superiority proves out, though, and we finally put one past the feisty lower league side in the 20th minute off the boot of Taborda. Piero Argenti pads that lead 10 minutes later with his first goal for the senior team after scoring a whopping 21 for the youth squad this season. The hits just keep coming. When El Sayed takes a free kick from a third of the way up the field and spots Bram Aarts lurking on the Bradford back line, he sends the ball all the way up to Aarts, who then rounds the keeper to make it 3-0 before 40 minutes have passed. Even better, our keeper has earned an assist. It's at this point that I relax and start focusing on the Real Madrid match. The second half is more of the same as Argenti and Aarts both score again, but Elvedin Pejkovic is forced out of the match by an injury. A five-nil walkover is what I expected the first time around, and I'm glad that the team bounced back to form and allowed me to rest our starters. Man of the Match: Piero Argenti.   Bradford 0-5 Wrexham  I'm glad we're not paying full price for Pejkovic, he's made of glass.  No surprise here, our schedule is going to be completely packed for the rest of the season so long as we're in the Cup and Champions League.   Rock and Shirra have been too good for the voters to ignore this year. I keep getting asked who I think should win and repeatedly have to beg off that I can't choose between my players. I feel like a father being asked which son I love more.  Meanwhile, Mujkic and Nieddu are candidates for the Young Player award. Mujkic is 24, and six years into his career with us.  He's not going to be 100%, but he's starting against Real Madrid. At Real Madrid, April 5, 2022 Champions League, Quarterfinal Away Leg  I'd be lying if I didn't admit to some real life jitters before this match. I'm putting Shirra out on the right wing, not his usual position, because he's got the stats to play out wide and because he offers much more in defense than Nieddu does. He'll need to track back much more often to keep us from being overrun by Real Madrid's front four, while Nieddu will be our fulcrum in attack and Bastable looks to get on the end of our more direct passes. All we need is a draw. Starting Formation: 4-4-1-1 Counter Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Shirra, Morvan, Petts, Mujkic (c), Nieddu, Bastable. Subs: El Sayed, Mejasic, Feruga, Mair, Taborda, Matko, Cardozo. It's grim from the word go. Real Madrid scores inside the first five minutes and we already need at least one goal to stay alive. That's not going to happen, as everything is in the process of going wrong. Real Madrid adds two more goals in the first half hour, and they easily could have scored more given their eight clear cut chances in the first half. We're being murdered. I switch us to the 4-2-3-1 and send us on the attack, hoping for a miracle and figuring that we can't do any worse. Well, we can't do worse. We can, however, do just as badly. By the time the final whistle blows we've been humbled six-nil by Real, and our impressive Champions League run ends with a whimper. It's an awful performance by every single player, no one rates above a 6.3. It's an unacceptable performance and one that I have to take some blame for. I should have trusted in the players to come out and attack. Instead I made changes and used a formation we'd barely touched all season. We paid dearly for it.   Real Madrid (8)6-(3)0 Wrexham  The Bastard hasn't scored for Wrexham since February, though he did pick up a goal internationally in March. We have enough firepower to get by without him, and even the greatest goal scorers go through slumps. This is the second prolonged fallow period of Bastable's tenure, but when he's not scoring he still contributes excellent holdup play and assists.  At least we got paid. We earned £17.4m from our run in the Champions League this year.  Our winnings will just about cover the costs of Shirra's new contract. Signing him now avoids the risk that he wants even more money in the summer.  We made it to the semi-finals in a continental competition! Just not one that matters in even the slightest. Also, both the Bayern senior and junior teams have an experience in common. I'm sure that'll be good for their morale!  I hope we packed the entire town of Wrexham on buses and drove them to the game, otherwise we're going to be wildly outnumbered by City supporters. vs. Manchester City, April 9, 2022 FA Cup, Semifinal  We're going to need a short memory, four days after the Real Madrid debacle it's off to Wembley to face Manchester City. It would be deeply disappointing to come all the way into April alive in three competitions and get knocked out of two of them in one week. Man City are looking to make it easier on us by starting a 16 year old central midfielder and an 18 year old left back. I can't tell if that's because they're worn out or because they're overconfident. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Mair, Petts, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Bastable. Subs: El Sayed, Mejasic, Feruga, Morvan, Julio, Taborda, Cardozo. Bastable can't get a break for anything, very early on he has a shot from a corner that falls prey to a superlative save. We go down one in the 27th minute, giving up an easy indirect free kick goal because we fail to mark a player attacking from outside the area. We bounce back before halftime when Bastable breaks his slump through hard work. He hits the crossbar with his first shot, fights off two defenders for the rebound, and scores on the second chance. I switch us between attack and defense after an even first half, we're not creating enough possession to try and control the game. We trade chances back and forth in the second half, but neither side can find net. Man City use their three subs early, with the last coming in the 56th minute. That means when their right back is injured in the 86th minute they're forced to play a man down. We now go back to control, up a man we need be wary of counter attacks but have forty minutes to get a winner. I make my first substitution, sending Mujkic to play as an inverted winger on the right side and bringing in Taborda on the left. City almost catch us on the counter, putting one off the crossbar, and Shirra almost ends the game in the fourth minute of stoppage time, but there's no avoiding extra time. Before it begins I fire my last two bullets, bringing in a fresh Feruga for a gassed Laux and likewise subbing out a worn down Petts for Patrice Morvan. Hopefully our fresher legs, and the man advantage, will pay. It does, and in short order. In the 6th minute of extra time a Rodrigo Taborda free kick is hammered by Todd off the far post and for the second time our man fights for his own rebound and puts away the second chance. It's not going to be enough, Man City manage a goal 66 seconds later when Tonci Cirjak gifts them the ball with an incredibly unwise pass deep in our own area, and they get the winner in the 118th minute when Patrice Morvan lets himself be mugged and leaves the City player one on one with Kovacevic. Despite having fresh legs and a man advantage we go down to defeat. We shall bring no trophies home to Wrexham this year.   Wrexham 2-3 Man City (aet)   We were not mentally tough enough, and crumbled under the pressure for the second game in a row. That's a hazard of playing younguns. Tonci Cirjak is rapidly earning my undying enmity, and that attitude doesn't help.  He's back to being happy, though. He also hasn't picked up a yellow card since I stripped him of his captaincy. Perhaps there will be peace between us after all.  Having him break that record against us just adds insult to injury.  Our total turnover has already surpassed last season, which is good because we sure as heck are spending a lot more money. vs. Newcastle United, April 12, 2022 Premier League  We're not going to catch Manchester City for the title. We're eight points back of them, and they just beat their toughest remaining competition in Manchester United. So long as we don't have an epic collapse we'll still make the Champions League again, we're nine points up on fifth place Arsenal. So the goal now is to finish second or third and advance straight to the group stage next August. Finishing 2nd or 3rd would also allow us to salvage something from this year by claiming a new best ever final position We are an exhausted team, though, so getting past Newcastle will be a much more difficult challenge than it would have been this time last year. How tired are we? Well, Justin Bailey is starting in our central midfield. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: El Sayed, Mejasic, O'Hanlon, Todd, Feruga (c), Morvan, Bailey, Nieddu, Julio, Taborda, Cardozo. Subs: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Dixon, Mair, Matko, Aarts. It's amazing the trouble we had with Man City and Real Madrid compared to the way we're bossing around Newcastle during the first half with a side composed of reserves. That being said, we still have nothing to show for it. Our best chance came on a flub by Nieddu that the announcers howled “was enough to destroy anyone's self belief.” I remind the team during my pep talk that if we hold form in the second half we'll win. They take their confidence from me and immediately act upon it when Nieddu scores 10 seconds into the second half. So much for the destruction of his self confidence. El Juez secures the lead with 23 minutes remaining when he fakes out two defenders and the keeper before perfectly depositing the ball inside the far post. Finally, Bailey and Julio use precise passes to tee the ball up for Cardozo's second goal in the 90th minute to make it 3-0. We look great, and Newcastle can't manage a shot on goal all game. Man of the Match: El Juez   Wrexham 3-0 Newcastle  It's hard to say a player had an unsuccessful year when they managed 8 goals and 6 assists in 25 appearances, but Taborda missed a lot of time this year with various injuries. If he stays healthy he's one of the most exciting talents on the club. I fear that might be a big “if.” At Arsenal, April 16, 2022 Premier League  A result in North London essentially locks down a Champions League spot for next year. Four points assures us qualification. Our second to last game is against QPR in Wrexham. They'll be relegated at that point and have nothing left to play for, we should drub them handily. Thus a draw against Arsenal is all we need to keep them from being able to catch us. A win will also do the trick, it will leave them nine points behind us with three games to play and a gigantic goal differential advantage in our favor. We'll be playing most of the match from a counter-attacking posture, but at the very start we're going to go out on the attack and try to stake an early lead. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Morvan, Petts, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Bastable. Subs: El Sayed, Mejasic, Feruga, Mair, Julio, Matko, Cardozo. We bamboozle Arsenal with our opening attack, with Bastable scoring his first league goal since February in the fourth minute. Todd adds a second three minutes later from a corner, and we've vaulted to a two-nil lead. Arsenal peg back immediately, but the Golden Boy restores our two goal lead when Suslov and Mujkic break down the Arsenal defense with an overlapping run and open a rent in the Arsenal defense that he can charge into. After a wildly exciting fifteen minutes we're ahead three-one. We let Arsenal attack us, happy to sit back and wait for opportunities to counter. We're rewarded with a fourth goal in the 39th minute that the Arsenal keeper puts across his own goal-line while trying to stop a Bastard shot. Arsenal shift like demons through their tactics and subs, but they're not coming back. We've run riot over a megabastard in their house and ensured our return to the Champions League to boot. Man of the Match: Oleg Suslov.   Arsenal 1-4 Wrexham  I'll stop talking/griping about TV money now, we're going to have nearly half of our matches this season televised and that will only improve next year. It's a big boost to our budget, over £5m will be added to our bottom line compared to last year.  Well... that's football for you. We played wonderfully for eight months, and then blew it in the course of one week. It would take a miracle for us to win the league, and thus we shall add no trophies to our collection this year. It's not a terrible season, we'll finish somewhere between second and fourth, and we made it to the quarterfinals or better in both Cups and the Champions League. But fatigue got to us, and we are still raw and unaccustomed to the world stage. We need to deepen the squad further through graduating our youth players and adding complementary pieces.   BOARD VOTES(Grumpily) Well, this isn't how I wanted to convene our end of the year budget meeting. I can assure you that I'm just as disappointed as you are in the recent results against Real Madrid and Manchester City, as well as the fact that we do not have a chance to win the league. No one ever said breaking into the ranks of megabastards would be easy. We must redouble our efforts. Before we get to the topics at hand, our financials:  Income is solidly up, thanks to our run to the quarterfinals of the Champions League. We'll add between £22m and £24.5m to this sum when the Premier League comes to a close depending on where we finish.  Expenses are also up, but as predicted at the start of the season we'll end the season with plenty in the bank thanks to Champions League money and increased revenue from other areas.  We do have a £7.5m loan to pay off, which will reduce our cash reserves. At the moment we retain a transfer budget of £16.5m and are £85,000/wk below our wage cap. Once the loan is paid off we should have roughly £17m in the bank, or £15m if you vote aye on Question Two. QUESTION ONE: Wage and Transfer Budget. (Covetously) It is required that the board set our combined transfer and wage budget once again. We're starting to become a big budget club, but we're not there yet. We spent £47.55m on wages last year, atop a record net transfer spending of £20m, for a total of £68m. Last year the board chose £68m to be added to the £10m that remained in the transfer budget for a total of £78m. I would ask that funding be continued at a £70m level, which would give us £86.5m to split between player wages and transfer expenses. Please submit a number between £40m and £110m, the final amount will be based upon the average of all votes. Remember, this is for both wages and transfers. QUESTON TWO: Stadium Expansion (Pleasingly) We have been #1 in the league for percentage of asses in seats at our games, but dead last in total attendance due to the capacity of the Racecourse Ground. It is possible to expand the stadium, the initial tranche of seats would add over two thousand seats and increase capacity to 17,582 at the cost of £1.7m. Over time engineers say that we should be able to get to 28,000 seats in the stadium after multiple expansions. We will also need a name for this new section should we choose to expand. A) (Mathematically) 2000 more seats will be a 14% increase in our gate receipts, or £1.9m a year. It would be losing money to not build the expansion! (Expansion of ground by 2082 seats, £1.7m spent) B) (Tepidly) We didn't get sellouts for our Champions League matches against Bayern Munich or Real Madrid, that makes me question the necessity of this. (No expansion of the ground) QUESTION THREE: Pre-Season Tour (Imperially) It is time to spread the name Wrexham around the world. As there is a World Cup taking place this June and July, I will be starting pre-season later than usual due to a number of our players participating. In late July and early August I will be undertaking a tour of two nations, playing friendlies against top clubs located there and hopefully a match against their national team. I would like your recommendations on where to go. This is an open ended question. Voting will be open until Thursday, June 12, at Noon EST
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Jun 10, 2014 20:25
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drat, two games and your season was hosed. 75m: Seeing as we are in such a healthy financial state, I don't see a problem with increasing your transfer budget slightly. No need to go overboard though, if you want more you do have assets you can replace. A: We desperately need a larger stadium, I want these peasants away from my corporate box! USA and China: We should tour the emerging markets in world football as a way to increase our international profile. Plus it gives our players a nice holiday!
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Jun 10, 2014 20:40
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1. 100 Million. I intend to stick to all my promises. Knocking Arsenal off their coveted 4th place trophy perch will suffice in lieu of silverware, but the lack of trophies is troubling. So here, solve all our problems with insane amounts of money. 2. A. Squeeze in more punters, get more cash. Simple. 3. Australia. The Bastable and Mujkic International Retirement Farewell Tour.
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Jun 10, 2014 20:41
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100 Million A. - Build the fucker USA - Brutalize them for daring to pass you over on the coaching job.
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Jun 10, 2014 20:44
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A Tartan Tory posted:drat, two games and your season was hosed. Yep! At least Real Madrid kicked our asses immediately. I was so excited when I thought I had outmanaged Man City by saving my substitutions. Instead one of the guys I subbed on shat the bed and allowed the winning goal.
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Jun 10, 2014 20:50
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Shame with the cups, Dorkus.  1: £90m seems reasonable to me. 2: Build that poo poo, call it the Simpson Stand. 3: I hear the Welsh made a good showing up and down France a while back. Pretty nice in the summer by all accounts as well. edit: Hell, add the USA as well, Zeroisanumber makes a compelling point. VVV - Bailey's still with us, he should get the final one taking us to 28,000. - VVV Smoky Bandana fucked around with this message at 21:02 on Jun 10, 2014 |
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Jun 10, 2014 20:55
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Bad luck man, but it happens. Next season! 1. £90m 2. Build it, put up the Bailey Box 2. Japan and China. Build some Far East exposure.
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Jun 10, 2014 20:59
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1. 90 sounds like a good number. A. Something like Meteor Mountain would be good. I think a USA tour would be fun, especially if you come beat up the Rapids, and on that same logic you should go to Sweden because that's my other home team.
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Jun 10, 2014 21:01
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"We were unable to consistently thrash the biggest names in football, boo hoo." We've come a drat long way and griping that we haven't gone further faster gets us nowhere. We need to look to the future instead of wallowing in the past. As such, 80m, A, Australia. Seconding the Bailey Box, and while we're in Australia wait in a dimly-lit parking lot with baseball bats for that fucker that keeps running our stars into the ground 
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Jun 10, 2014 21:07
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What a shame. £110m Expand stadium, I like Simpson Stand Show the USA what they're missing, and go wreck Australia too.
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Jun 10, 2014 21:10
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90m Expand and let's pick on The USA for having the temerity to deny Coach Brown's rightful place as head of USMNT and Australia for dicking around with our players and getting the Bastard injured needlessly. e: Call it the Dragon's Lair
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Jun 10, 2014 21:17
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75 million should give us plenty of wiggle room and transfer money[/b] A We need more butts in more seats. Australia and USA Show the USA that they are making a terrible mistake when we trounce their national team and tell Australia to buzz off and hold our Aussie wonderbros for the match so we can beat them silly too
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Jun 10, 2014 21:19
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50 million make use of our youth facilities more homegrown talent. A Pakistan maybe we can feature in Pakistani
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Jun 10, 2014 21:33
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75 million A USA and Japan USA since it's the Hip Cool Thing for European teams to tour the US, Japan since they're a big market that doesn't have any of our players to play against.
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Jun 10, 2014 21:38
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KKKLIP ART posted:75 million should give us plenty of wiggle room and transfer money
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Jun 10, 2014 21:39
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Well that was a very disappointing end to the season very Chelseaesque. Anyway to the choices 98 million pound transfer kitty A expand the race course ground. USA if we can get mls teams Asia if the Asian leagues are available Italy otherwise .
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Jun 10, 2014 21:39
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Sky Shadowing posted:75 million More or less this. If we are going to be world wide lets start at the most powerful country in the world. And Japan because 
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Jun 10, 2014 21:53
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1) 95 Million 2) A 3) Australia and USA, especially the latter to show those bastards at the USMNT what they're missing for their managers. Also, being the bridesmaids this year makes the LP not end sooner so that's fine by me. Dreamsicle fucked around with this message at 21:57 on Jun 10, 2014 |
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Jun 10, 2014 21:54
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KKKLIP ART posted:75 million should give us plenty of wiggle room and transfer money[/b] This is my vote
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Jun 10, 2014 21:56
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80 million A USA and South Korea.
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Jun 10, 2014 22:14
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KKKLIP ART posted:75 million should give us plenty of wiggle room and transfer money[/b] This sounds good. The manager of the Socceroos needs to be taught a lesson.
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Jun 10, 2014 22:17
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65m Win us a bloody trophy and you can have more money. A, call it the Bastard's Keep. North and South Korea. We shall bring peace to that area. If that's not an option, and  .
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Jun 10, 2014 22:37
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KKKLIP ART posted:75 million should give us plenty of wiggle room and transfer money This is my ballot as well.
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Jun 10, 2014 22:42
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65 million, no need to jump into such a financial hole before having the guaranteed average sell-out attendance of a 17k seat stadium. A, so expand the bloody thing. China and Australia.
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Jun 10, 2014 22:47
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80 million A, and I do like the naming suggestions of the Simpson Stand and the Dragon's Lair. How's our old captain doing by the way? Australia and USA, go trash the Aussie international team coach's office while you're at it for not following directions.
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Jun 10, 2014 22:53
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95m A, call it the court of the god king of Wales AUS and USA Sports rivalry talk: As a New Zealander,I can never write off anyone playing for Aussie in any sport, those bastards would grow back a missing arm if they thought it meant they could pull a surprise win on us.
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Jun 10, 2014 23:13
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