|
ZappDash posted:Every rollover in Iraq would like a word with you on that. poo poo, I was fuckin POG-y bear and I know this poo poo isn't uncommon by any means stateside. Everytrip to Irwin almost always ends with the motor pool trying to piece a few back together after someone guns its through a trail and in to a ditch
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2014 17:11
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 15, 2024 05:56 |
|
|
I would hazard a guess that hummers tend to roll a lot due to over estimating its capabilites and having excitable young adults in control. I'm sure in combat conditions tunnel vision is a bit of a problem.
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2014 18:47
|
|
|
Also the uparmored to hell exemplars rolling around sandy and miserable places probably roll over a lot easier that those in the US.
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2014 19:03
|
|
|
LingcodKilla posted:I would hazard a guess that hummers tend to roll a lot due to over estimating its capabilites and having excitable young adults in control. I'm sure in combat conditions tunnel vision is a bit of a problem. This. They're top-heavy, as told from day one, and either people don't know what this means and don't ask or they forget when they have to tactically maneuver over/around/through whatever-the-gently caress and ROLLOVERROLLOVERROLLOVER. Plus, we've all see videos of how they can traverse logs and blocks like some Ninja Warrior meets Tough Mudder bravado... but any private is randomly put in the driver seat without actually having gone through any tactical driver training.
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2014 19:08
|
|
|
3N052 USAF. Good Morning Vietnam poo poo. Had an A1C/E-3 turn into a sobbing bitch because we had to do a few extra takes and stay late when he was ANCHORING THE NEWS one night, and he wanted to I guess get back to the dorms in time to get in one extra jacking it session and we were only supposed to work till 5, idk. The broadcast center was off post and I was his ride back and I just laid into him. Fuckin' guys pulling 12-14 hour shifts turning wrenches on the flighline and he bitches about staying late in one of the funnest, chillest, best afscs you can get. He sullenly called me a "lifer." Dude was always crying about some poo poo or another even tho we had it good and you just needed to basically look at anyone else's job to see it. It was 1999-2000 too, so peacetime on top of that. I guess it's not all that interesting a story but it blows my mind to this day someone could be such a snivelling bitchboy about a job where you get to play DJ/news reporter for what was usually a nine to five. E: also remembering now that he told me he was always trying to get his AF girlfriend to piss on him bit she wouldn't go for it. And he crowed about how he claimed he had an MBA all the time like it made him hot poo poo, in spite if being the same rank doing the same job as me. Then I ended up being the fat idiot who stupidly took a different afsc to get humanitarian reassignment (mom was dying back in the states), and then got too fat to stay in. I could be retiring in a few years if I could have kept the fatness in check. Perhaps we are all of us idiots in our own way. Owlbear Camus fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Jun 12, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2014 19:24
|
|
|
How were you too fat for the Air Force in wartime?
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2014 19:47
|
|
|
Booblord Zagats posted:How were you too fat for the Air Force in wartime? It was peacetime. Point of fact I had my final outprocessing appointment Tuesday Sept 11, 2001. (It ended up postponed.)
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2014 19:50
|
|
|
Otisburg posted:It was peacetime. Point of fact I had my final outprocessing appointment Tuesday Sept 11, 2001. Oh, I getcha, dude.
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2014 19:51
|
|
|
I left my weapon. I was the idiot.  It was on the last day of basic training, too. Fortunately, another guy from my unit signaled me to get back into the tent and get my weapon before anyone with rank could see.As for ammo, somebody managed to leave a bit in the duffel bag I was issued. But that is nothing compared to this idiot savant: quote:Israeli traveler jailed in India for months after stray bullet found in backpack So much for amazing security in Israeli airports.
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2014 21:32
|
|
|
I tightened my helmet so hard today my neck said creak and I had to run around in the woods with a locked neck all day. That felt loving stupid.
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2014 22:10
|
|
|
Affi posted:I tightened my helmet so hard today my neck said creak and I had to run around in the woods with a locked neck all day. That felt loving stupid. cool story bro
|
|
#
?
Jun 12, 2014 23:59
|
|
|
Ultimate Shrek Fan posted:Haha when did you go through basic. One of my instructors said that but I forgot his name. Ten years ago to the month. Every now and again I meet someone else who remembers that phrase, maybe it's something staff to do gently caress with anglos at this point. There are definitely a few good accidental french-isms I've heard though. Like an instructor telling a lady recruit to "turn around so I can inspect your buns", not realizing 'buns' means something other than 'hair' in english. Or a small arms instructor telling a confused class to "cork your rifle and put a ball in the room" (balle is french for bullet, chamber transliterates to room). Or a french platoon commander introducing the instructional staff to his first english platoon by saying "ladies and gentlemen...if you want to pass this course...each and every one of you must focus". Where "focus" was pronounced "gently caress us". One time there was an opposite day and a lady captain I knew was trying to motivate her french platoon in the face of some army cock that was flying around. She told them "flexibilite, c'est un princip du fantasie" - flexibility is a principle of fantasy. 'Fantassin' is the word for infantry, and what she meant to say, but to be fair morale was ultimately improved. I was only an instructor for a few months during the recruiting surge but damned if life wasn't better on the other side.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 00:46
|
|
|
Re: losing weapons. We had an E6 pass out at his desk on Leatherneck, woke up and his M9 was gone. Locked down the base all day, don't remember if it was ever recovered. He didn't get in trouble for it, but he was later busted for huffing compressed air cans. Busted down to sergeant and sent home halfway through the deployment, not sure if anything else happened.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 01:22
|
|
|
Affi posted:I tightened my helmet so hard today my neck said creak and I had to run around in the woods with a locked neck all day. That felt loving stupid. Today I did more pushups than usual and now my shoulder is sore. And then I found a dollar.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 02:04
|
|
|
after getting blown up the third time my short term memory got really bad and i almost left an m14 behind when we were about to roll out to our cop
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 02:07
|
|
|
Cole posted:after getting blown up the third time my short term memory got really bad and i almost left an m14 behind when we were about to roll out to our cop Totally reminds me of the time I lost my Springfield doing maneuvers in the Colorado Territory.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 02:17
|
|
|
Stultus Maximus posted:Today I did more pushups than usual and now my shoulder is sore. When I got my second Typhoid II shot I forgot to do enough pushups to work it into my arm and it hurt bad the next day.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 04:28
|
|
|
One time a guy I know punched another guy in the smallpox blister and it popped it sounded p. gross.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 05:08
|
|
|
Half a year ago we had a guy handling line with gloves in between some small boats. He got degloved with his finger meat still in the glove when one of the boats jerked and his fingers got snagged and tugged. He was back at work a few weeks later and I guess his finger meat got recovered and put back in the proper finger meat place.
Commoners fucked around with this message at 06:58 on Jun 13, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 06:47
|
|
|
Guest2553 posted:One time a guy I know punched another guy in the smallpox blister and it popped it sounded p. gross. Mine busted during the night on my then girlfriend. Get owned.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 08:54
|
|
|
gleep gloop posted:Mine busted during the night on my then girlfriend. Get owned. something something cow strain.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 09:44
|
|
|
EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:If rollovers were very rare, non of us would have spent time in HEAT trainers. I was always told they never rolled over. Remember I was Air Force and the only time I sat in one of those fuckers was when they sent me to gently caress around with the army. Every god drat time I got in one they told me you couldn't turn one over.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 13:01
|
|
|
As a warrior airman I only drove one at the CAOC in the Deid, making midnight chow runs. Uparmored Humvees handle like pigs and I can't imagine actually living out of one. Drove the poo poo out of 5 tons with the ACS squadron, usually pulling a TAOM in Phoenix rush hour traffic when we "deployed" to Tempe for the sister guard unit's exercises. I imagine it's about the same as driving in Fallujah.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 14:02
|
|
|
nullscan posted:As a warrior airman I only drove one at the CAOC in the Deid, making midnight chow runs. Uparmored Humvees handle like pigs and I can't imagine actually living out of one. theyre super awesome when the second ever time you drive an uparmored is on the busiest interstate in the area
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 14:05
|
|
|
You want to talk about a Humvee with a super-high center of gravity that always feels like it's going to fall over? Granted, the tower cab lowers, but it's still pretty scary to take on the highway.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 14:44
|
|
|
pkells posted:You want to talk about a Humvee with a super-high center of gravity that always feels like it's going to fall over? What the poo poo is that
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 14:48
|
|
|
MSN-7 mobile control tower and its generator truck. You can pull up to a dirt strip and turn it into a controlled airfield within an hour.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 14:51
|
|
|
pkells posted:MSN-7 mobile control tower and its generator truck. You can pull up to a dirt strip and turn it into a controlled airfield within an hour. Oh nice, the humvee has so many absolutely insane variants
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 14:53
|
|
|
FIDEL CASHFLOW posted:Oh nice, the humvee has so many absolutely insane variants It really does. This one is my favorite:  Tanker thinks, "Oh that's just a humvee blast it with .50 cal." Nope. http://www.army-technology.com/projects/losat/
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 15:01
|
|
|
Oh boy we still have humvees, we can go anywhere. Someone stand on the hood as we drive through these narrow rear end alley canals, all these low-hanging wires are getting snagged on our countermeasures. I liked foot patrolling way more than loving with vehicles every day.
|
|
#
?
Jun 13, 2014 15:38
|
|
|
EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:losat.jpg I was disappointed that the SLAMRAAM got shitcanned after only 3 billion and 10 years of R&D.  This thing just screams 'GET ON MY LEVEL BITCHES'
|
|
#
?
Jun 14, 2014 02:15
|
|
|
Nah it screams 1980's GI JOE toy.
|
|
#
?
Jun 14, 2014 02:26
|
|
|
tuluk posted:Nah it screams 1980's GI JOE toy. Like ur mom
|
|
#
?
Jun 14, 2014 02:30
|
|
|
tuluk posted:Nah it screams 1980's GI JOE toy. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 14, 2014 02:31
|
|
|
I'm disappointed solely on the fact that it's called the SLAMRAAM. How can you shitcan something so cool sounding?
|
|
#
?
Jun 14, 2014 02:44
|
|
|
...
Nostalgia4ColdWar fucked around with this message at 02:29 on Mar 31, 2017 |
|
#
?
Jun 14, 2014 03:42
|
|
|
Speaking of vehicles, a story from an IDF old-timer I know: back in the 1991 Gulf War, there was this big scare in Israel about ABC warfare. Everyone would be given these gas masks (useless when used by untrained personnel in an actual emergency, as any ABC officer would gladly tell you), and of course they deployed the ABC protection unit. They have these specialized pressurized vehicles they drive around. Well this guy and his unit go ride one out. Middle of the trip, they hear a weird clink. They stop the vehicle, look it over, and find out that while all the screws were in place, no nut was to be found. That's right, while the important hazmat vehicles were in storage, some quartermaster's folks took the nut out and sold them on the market. Pretty sure they had it towed back to base for safety... AHAHA, who am I kidding, they rode it back, praying to Yahweh it would stay in one piece.
|
|
#
?
Jun 14, 2014 05:41
|
|
|
50 Foot Ant posted:That's the goddamn M113 and holy bugfuck poo poo that thing was a goddamn physics defying roll-over waiting to happen. QFT It's like they're designed for it. I watched one of those fuckers go end over end one time in Korea. Possibly my favorite idiot story of all time happened in a 113. Back in the day, one of the unadvertised perks of being an A-10 guy was that as a JO you were going to spend a lot of time hanging out with the Army as a Battalion Air Liaison Officer, humping a radio or riding around in a HMMV or a 113 with a GRC-206 radio pallet in it. I went to support 3/69 Armor one year at NTC, which meant I got a 113 with a poo poo ton of antennas on it and an Army driver. To say the Army doesn’t normally give the ALO their superstars as drivers would be somewhat of an understatement. Enter PV2 Lyle. We met right after I overheard his previous track commander tell him “I’m not going to tell you again. I’m just going to choke you.” He was essentially Joe Dirt in BDUs and he tipped the scales at about a buck ten not including IPE. He was actually not intolerable to be around if you didn’t mind that he was transmit only and all of his stories were about NJP and fat chicks. After the first couple of days, any illusions I had about being able to keep up with the M-1s were shattered, and I relearned why on the battlefield you don’t want to be in the vehicle with the most antennas on it. I was also starting to notice a trend with PV2 Lyle. After every evolution we had to attend an AAR. The trailer that this took place in was located at the bottom of literally the only hill within miles, in terrain that otherwise looks like a pool table. You can see it from anywhere on the range and it is unmistakable. I would say “OK dude, let’s go” and point at the hill. Lyle cranked up the track, and headed off toward the hill. But invariably, after a few minutes, he would begin to veer off on side roads and if left alone, would soon be headed anywhere from 30-90 degrees off course. There were no obstacles to go around and the hill was plainly in view. If you have never been in a 113, 50FA described it well but left out a couple of details. One, it is louder than gently caress. Two, the driver sits forward with his head barely sticking out of the top of the track, and the TC sits just out of arms’ reach (for me) in another cupola behind him. There is supposed to be a Y cord setup so you can talk over the intercom. I have never been in a 113 with a working Y cord setup. The only solution I could see was an ancient GPS unit about the size of a clock radio called a PLGR. By flipping the antenna up I could reach just barely reach far enough to smack Lyle in the head with it. When he looked back I would point and yell “OVER THERE, DUMB rear end”. This seemed to be an approved procedure as he appeared to have no hard feelings, and when we would stop and I would ask what the gently caress, he would just shrug. After a few more days of this we have our steering technique down, but I am getting sick of having our MILES gear go off 90 seconds into each fight, so I come up with a brilliant plan to wait until the moon goes down to move into position for the next morning’s engagement. This is where I also become the idiot, since it is blacker than six feet up a bull’s rear end and I have no NVGs. His are not working, which of course I don’t find out about until later. Moon goes down, I wake Lyle up and we head out. I have our course plugged into the PLGR and I am watching it like a hawk to make sure we don’t start wandering off and roll into a loving ravine. And he nails it. He’s never more than one degree from having the course line centered for something like 45 minutes. Instead of his usual full balls out driving style which threatens to break my loving back and ribs in the cupola, his speed is completely steady. I’m totally amazed. Now I’m thinking either he really has been loving with me all week, or he’s become so completely adapted to night fighting that he can’t function during the day. Finally our spot comes into view, I hit Lyle on the head, we stop and shut down. I’m like “Lyle, that was the best loving driving I’ve seen all week. Nice job, man.” Lyle says “Sir, the only thing I remember is you waking me up to get going, and then smacking me on the head to stop.” He was slumped over asleep at the wheel the whole loving way.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2014 02:20
|
|
|
I'm not sure if this is an idiot story, but I'll tell one. I'm deployed in Kandahar, sandystan and I work as in patient movement. Since I'm just an E4 I usually get to 'anti-hijack' (military euphemism for checking bags) luggage before they go out onto the plane. I walk over to the Role3, find the guy sleeping, so I grab his bag and bring it back to our tent to check. He's got a big bag on the side of it fills with just knives. About 6 small ones, 2 of which he can't carry because they're spring loaded, and another huge one with an antler handle. On to his main bag. Open up one of the compartments and then I realize it smells kinda bad. I couldn't really place the smell. So I start looking to see what it could be, find a sunglasses case, but when I'm handling it I realize it's a bit squishy. Thinking I've found my culprit I open it up to find... an onahole. He later asks for a smoke on the flightline.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2014 10:47
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 15, 2024 05:56 |
|
|
Had to Google wtf an anahole was. It's a pocket pussy if anyone else doesn't know what it is.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2014 20:50
|
|
