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Are my nostrils getting bigger?
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Jun 12, 2014 03:49
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TMMadman posted:Well, he's not functioning the way he normally does. He seems depressed. He's lost his appetite. He's even curtailed his autoerotic activities. And we think this is directly related to the altercation he had with you the other day. Yeah Koko, that chimp's alright high-five
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Jun 12, 2014 08:54
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Homestar Runner posted:Yeah Koko, that chimp's alright I don't know too many monkeys that can take apart a fuel injector
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Jun 12, 2014 14:06
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Riptor posted:I don't know too many monkeys that can take apart a fuel injector Riptor, it was very nice of you to bring the man you're currently sleeping with over to talk to me, but I assure you, I don't have any problem with germs.
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Jun 12, 2014 14:15
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All I want is my 75 cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired!
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Jun 12, 2014 14:32
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Well, I have to say this seems capricious and arbitrary.
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Jun 12, 2014 15:48
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potee posted:Well, I have to say this seems capricious and arbitrary. I'm beginning to wonder if you understand anything. 
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Jun 12, 2014 16:23
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Jerry, did you like Jake Jarmel's post on facebook yet? No. And I'm not going to. What? You have to! I have to? That's why I'm not going to! I'm done liking everything on facebook! Sometimes I dont like things! I'm not going to like things just because it's there! I wont! Do you know what happens if you dont like it? He unfriends you. Is that what you want to happen? Because if he unfriends you, he's going to unfriend me. If that happens I wont be able to see those pictures he puts up of his wife! I don't have much in my life Jerry, Jake Jarmel's wife on my feed is all I have left. Are you saying you are taking that away from me Jerry!? ARE YOU?
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Jun 12, 2014 18:00
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Red posted:I'm beginning to wonder if you understand anything.
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Jun 12, 2014 18:32
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Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia?
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Jun 12, 2014 18:42
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Demon Of The Fall posted:Don't lie to me, butter bean. We're taking it up a notch. You lag, you drag!
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Jun 12, 2014 18:43
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embee posted:Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia? THIS IS LIKE DISCOVERING PLUTONIUM BY ACCIDENT!
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Jun 12, 2014 18:52
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Demon Of The Fall posted:Don't lie to me, butter bean. We're taking it up a notch. 
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Jun 12, 2014 21:03
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stratdax posted:THIS IS LIKE DISCOVERING PLUTONIUM BY ACCIDENT! It's like I'm Neil Armstrong! I turn around for a sip of Tang, and you jump out first!
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Jun 12, 2014 21:19
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Demon Of The Fall posted:Don't lie to me, butter bean. We're taking it up a notch. Each crepe has to be hand-rolled by a Mandelbaum. That's what puts the magic in Magic Pan!
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Jun 12, 2014 21:26
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embee posted:Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia? You know I often wonder what you'll be like when you're senile.
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Jun 12, 2014 21:30
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Hank Morgan posted:You know I often wonder what you'll be like when you're senile. I think it'll be a very smooth transition. I'm rather looking forward to it. 
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Jun 12, 2014 22:37
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Mister, we're trying to help the homeless here. It's bad enough that we have some nut out there trying to strap them to a rickshaw.
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Jun 13, 2014 03:54
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embee posted:Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia? Didn't I beat you up in third grade?
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Jun 13, 2014 05:12
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Root Bear posted:Didn't I beat you up in third grade? Yeah. Actually it was in gym class. I was trying to climb the ropes and Jerry was spotting me. I kept slipping and burning my thighs and then finally I slipped and fell on Jerry's head. We've been close ever since.
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Jun 13, 2014 05:21
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Root Bear posted:Didn't I beat you up in third grade? 
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Jun 13, 2014 06:33
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Hey, I eat healthy! If I have to take out an eye, that's the breaks.
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Jun 13, 2014 06:47
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Boardroom Jimmy posted:Yeah. Actually it was in gym class. I was trying to climb the ropes and Jerry was spotting me. I kept slipping and burning my thighs and then finally I slipped and fell on Jerry's head. We've been close ever since. Oh you're a chucker
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Jun 13, 2014 11:50
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The Finn posted:Mister, we're trying to help the homeless here. It's bad enough that we have some nut out there trying to strap them to a rickshaw. /salutes I'll take the job! Potato salad!
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Jun 13, 2014 13:19
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Homestar Runner posted:Oh you're a chucker I told ya, I don't even like that gooey crap!
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Jun 13, 2014 14:51
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mojo1701a posted:I told ya, I don't even like that gooey crap! It's pronounced thermometer.
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Jun 13, 2014 15:24
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Coffee And Pie posted:It's pronounced thermometer. Let me give you a word of advice. Okay? I want you to stay away from me. I don't wanna talk to you, and I don't wanna hear any more of your stupid little notes and suggestions. I don't like you. So, if you got any other problems, whether it's raisins, prunes, figs, or any other dried fruit, just keep it to yourself, and stay out of my way. Okay?
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Jun 13, 2014 15:39
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mojo1701a posted:I told ya, I don't even like that gooey crap! mojo1701a was a simple country boy. Some might say a cockeyed optimist, who got caught up in the dirty game of world diplomacy and international intrigue.
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Jun 13, 2014 16:46
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Interesting take. So you feel, had he been less enthousiastic, he could've averted disaster?
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Jun 13, 2014 16:51
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Supreme Allah posted:mojo1701a was a simple country boy. Some might say a cockeyed optimist, who got caught up in the dirty game of world diplomacy and international intrigue. My mail truck was just ambushed by a band of backwoods, mail-hating survivalists!
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Jun 13, 2014 17:51
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You think of your knife.
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Jun 13, 2014 18:03
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Well I got a flash for you, joy boy. Party time is over. 
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Jun 13, 2014 18:09
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Gyshall posted:You think of your knife. Yeah, '71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abby Hoffman telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag, but you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella.
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Jun 13, 2014 18:16
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potee posted:My mail truck was just ambushed by a band of backwoods, mail-hating survivalists! I LOVE YOU NORMAN!
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Jun 14, 2014 00:56
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You went out with Newman?
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Jun 14, 2014 03:14
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PS. Love the cabin posted:You went out with Newman? Boy, I have really had it with Newman. He wakes me up again last night at three o'clock in the morning to tell me he's going up onto the roof to kill himself.
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Jun 14, 2014 03:28
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PS. Love the cabin posted:You went out with Newman? Perhaps there's more to Newman than meets the eye.
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Jun 14, 2014 04:00
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No, there's less.
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Jun 14, 2014 04:07
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Hear me, and hear me well. The day will come. Oh yes! Mark my words, Seinfeld. Your day of reckoning is coming, when an evil wind will blow through your little play world and wipe that smug smile off your face. And I'll be there, in all my glory, watching, watching as it all comes crumbling down.
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Jun 14, 2014 04:16
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| # ? May 31, 2024 01:12 |
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https://twitter.com/SeinfeldToday/status/473929365785292800quote:Jerry gets paranoid about his girlfriend’s past when her iPhone automatically connects to the wi-fi at Newman’s apartment.
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Jun 14, 2014 04:19
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