|
Minarchist posted:
Who are these people that can't hold in a poo poo if they don't have access to a toilet.
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2014 07:34
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 20, 2024 20:35 |
|
|
Gen. Ripper posted:Who are these people that can't hold in a poo poo if they don't have access to a toilet. MMO players mostly, and it's not a lack of access it's just that they can't afford to take a 3 minute break from grinding/raiding to use a bathroom. See also: Poopsockers
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2014 07:41
|
|
|
Gen. Ripper posted:Who are these people that can't hold in a poo poo if they don't have access to a toilet. The same people that have to hide from their parents because they fear social interaction so much that they would rather poo poo in a cardboard container that they keep in their room than risk talking to their parents. I mean that was what bothered me the mostabout that. He had a regular "poo poo carton", that he kept warm and ready in his room. Of course none of it happened though, so I can sleep another night sure in the knowledge that poo poo cartons are just the figment of someones imagination.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2014 07:51
|
|
|
Green text stories are supposed to be funny and the worst examples of humanity. You ruin the fun by analysing it.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2014 10:10
|
|
|
I propose the OP amends the first post to say that green text stories should be excluded. Even though they're pretty funny.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2014 12:50
|
|
|
This is so loving stupid it makes my head hurt.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2014 17:56
|
|
|
Some Idiotic Website posted:As with any story with minimal documentation (Ardentleprechaun’s pictures are currently floating at the top of Reddit.com), we’re going to assume, for the sake of storytelling, that Shane is a real person, and that these notes from -Management are real as well. No, this is not how that works. God did these people never learn anything about sources?
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2014 18:13
|
|
|
bringmyfishback posted:I propose the OP amends the first post to say that green text stories should be excluded. Even though they're pretty funny. I suggested that on the very first page. I don't think the OP even follows this thread. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2014 18:46
|
|
|
BrigadierSensible posted:The same people that have to hide from their parents because they fear social interaction so much that they would rather poo poo in a cardboard container that they keep in their room than risk talking to their parents. Maybe their parents would get mad at them for being awake at 5 am because...uh...being up early is bad?
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2014 18:48
|
|
|
They probably weren't up early, but rather up late, and they didn't want their parents to know that they'd been up all night pooping in boxes and playing mmos.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2014 19:05
|
|
|
HOOLY BOOLY posted:Maybe their parents would get mad at them for being awake at 5 am because...uh...being up early is bad? My mom gets mad at me when I go poop at night because thanks to a horroble mirror placement the light from when i open the door shines in her face
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2014 19:31
|
|
|
ANIME MONSTROSITY posted:My mom gets mad at me when I go poop at night because thanks to a horroble mirror placement the light from when i open the door shines in her face Well tell your mom to stop sleeping in the bathroom!
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2014 20:07
|
|
|
quote:Do you ever catch Chinese girls checking out your buldge?
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 00:51
|
|
|
Farmland Park posted:Anyone else experience this? All the drat time. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 02:07
|
|
|
http://youtu.be/dpFNC7puU2M?t=51s
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 02:39
|
|
|
Here's some poo poo that actually happened on imgur: http://imgur.com/gallery/pI5MIry
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 05:27
|
|
|
CannedMacabre posted:Here's some poo poo that actually happened on imgur: Were they playing cow patty bingo?
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 06:43
|
|
|
It's the Battle of the Buldge for me every day in Hong Kong. Also for the cake story on the last page, my friends got me a cake with "happy birthday" written on it in Yiddish. Cake decorators really don't care and will just copy the characters. If a Chinese lady can write Yiddish with icing, it stands to reason an American can handle Korean, which has arguably simpler characters to write.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 11:36
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 14:12
|
|
|
I'm pretty sure nobody who's done high school chemistry (let alone further) would write C2H6O. This person could at least make up a story within their field.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 15:14
|
|
|
Zack Parsons wrote some great STDH for the front page today: You Won't Belive the Heartless Thing An Imaginary Person Did to My Child
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 15:17
|
|
|
Oh my god that is too perfect. The part of the slide whistle almost had me in tears.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 15:25
|
|
|
From Facebook:quote:Friday lunch story:
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 20:05
|
|
|
Bloodnose posted:Zack Parsons wrote some great STDH for the front page today: That was hilarious and I'm glad he got the phrase "fug of jazz cigarettes" in there. This article was funny enough to make me want to read the one it is sort of based on again but the author took it down. Here's a recap but the author of this article just sums up the blog and leaves out a lot of the embellishments that are hallmarks of stdh. Still, the paragraph that's there is pretty funny.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 20:32
|
|
|
Religious Man posted:Sandwiches What exactly is the perk supposed to be?
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 21:00
|
|
|
effervescible posted:What exactly is the perk supposed to be? I think she was trying to say that her niceness and pink lipstick caused her to get her order before the other lady even though the mean lady had ordered first.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 21:14
|
|
|
so what exactly stops him from looking them up with his phone at the store I mean I know it didn't happen, but come on, that's low hanging fruit
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 21:25
|
|
|
I frequently call the ones i love a smartass
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 21:28
|
|
|
Religious Man posted:I think she was trying to say that her niceness and pink lipstick caused her to get her order before the other lady even though the mean lady had ordered first. Oh. Man, even if this did happen to it's much more likely that the mean lady just ordered something that takes longer to make. Why would the employees want to keep an annoying customer around longer?
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 21:44
|
|
|
HOOLY BOOLY posted:I frequently call the ones i love a smartass Y'see, she says smartass, as in the US version (Brits say smartarse), but then specifies Tesco, which is (I think) UK only. You've got to get the details right if you want someone to believe your pointless and overly cutesy story.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 22:35
|
|
|
Jonathan Yeah! posted:Y'see, she says smartass, as in the US version (Brits say smartarse), but then specifies Tesco, which is (I think) UK only. You've got to get the details right if you want someone to believe your pointless and overly cutesy story. But my WIFE does science and she's a girl and I'm just her lovable rascal of a husband. Now give me internet points!
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2014 22:53
|
|
|
Accidentally asked this in the wrong thread...now I'm asking here: Weird request, but does anyone remember/have a copy/some link to an internet post (possibly from TVTropes? In one of the "Troper Tales sections?) I read about here a few years ago: If I remember it right, the guy was trying to be one of those "citizen superhero" types, and described sewing some weights into gloves, like ball bearings or something, to better fight crime. He then said he went patrolling, or something, (possibly in/near a cemetery?) and claimed a wolf ran at him to attack, but he punched it in the face with his new gloves, and that it wouldn't be bothering anyone anymore.
|
|
#
?
Jun 28, 2014 00:24
|
|
|
As we all know, wolves routinely hang out in cemeteries because real life works like an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
|
|
#
?
Jun 28, 2014 02:20
|
|
|
jodai posted:That was hilarious and I'm glad he got the phrase "fug of jazz cigarettes" in there. This article was funny enough to make me want to read the one it is sort of based on again but the author took it down. Here's a recap but the author of this article just sums up the blog and leaves out a lot of the embellishments that are hallmarks of stdh. Still, the paragraph that's there is pretty funny. Soon enough, we were done with our shop and were making our way toward the front. As we passed through the produce section, two teenage girls began giggling and one of them asked, "Is that a boy or a girl?" I smiled and said, "He's a boy." I looked on at him adoringly as they continued to giggle. Out of nowhere a big booming voice rang out. "THAT'S a BOY?!" The man was overly large with a bushy beard and a camouflage shirt with the arms cut off. He had tattered shorts and lace-up work boots with no laces. I could smell the fug of cigarette smoke surrounding him, and there was a definite pong of beer on him. "Yes," I said simply, still smiling. With no notice, the man stepped forward, grabbed the headband off of Dexter's head and threw it to the bottom of our shopping cart. He then cuffed Dexter around the side of his head (not hard, but that is not the point) and said with a big laugh, "You'll thank me later, little man!" At the same time as I stepped forward, Dexter grabbed his head where the man had smacked him and threw his other hand forward, stomping his foot and shouting, "NO!" I got between my son and this man and said very firmly, "If you touch my son again, I will cut your drat hands off." The guy snarled at me, looked at Dexter with disgust and said, "Your son is a f*cking fa***t." He then started sauntering out, but not before he threw over his shoulder, "He'll get shot for it one day." I stood there, shaking, fists clenched, waiting for the man to disappear out the door, and then I fell apart. I was shaking so hard, holding back tears and comforting Dexter. Not a single person said or did anything. There were several people who had witnessed the encounter, but not one of them came over to offer support or console me or my son. I was there with a 2-year-old and a 5-month-old baby, and my kid had been verbally and physically assaulted by a man. And no one did a thing. I made my way to the front, still in shock, and I paid for my items and left. I did not report it to the management nor to the authorities, though I am considering doing both. But as I live in a tourist area, I doubt there is anything I can do to find the man -- he could be anyone from anywhere. I also wanted to say thank you to everyone (and there were a LOT of you) who advised me to contact WalMart for the CCTV footage and the police to press charges. I most likely won’t be doing that. I would like to explain why. When it happened, I wanted to get out of there as quickly as I could. I was in a bit of shock, to be honest, and the fact that no one else came up to offer any support made me wonder if I’d overreacted. The entire thing happened in less than a minute. It was over as quickly as it started, and no one was harmed. My shock at what the man said was worse than my upset about him touching my kid. The truth is that (and I tried to make this clear in the blog post) he did not hurt my son. He cuffed him like you would pat a dog on the head. It was not violent. It was not acceptable, but it was not violent. My two days of thinking on the whole thing has made me believe that the guy saw a woman with two little boys on her own, one of the boys wearing a girly headband, and he thought he was doing me a favor by teaching my boy to be more manly. He may have thought I was a single mom in need of a strong male role model. And when he touched my son, I immediately stepped in to threaten him. His reaction was over the top and completely terrible, but we have all said things in the heat of the moment that we are not proud of. The fact he seemed to have been drinking may have exacerbated his reaction. fish and chips and dip has a new favorite as of 02:31 on Jun 28, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jun 28, 2014 02:29
|
|
|
There's a version on Facebook that has the beginning of the story.quote:This is Dexter. He is 2 years old. He loves to be Batman and Superman and Spiderman. He's a real boys' boy. He pretends he is flying, and he captures the baddies who threaten us.He is a fabulous big brother. He was a later bloomer vocabulary-wise. He used to be terribly shy but has recently begun to come out of his shell. He loves new people and enjoys greeting them with a big "HI!" when he meets them.His favorite color is pink. He loves Dora the Explorer. He has been known to wear my skirt as a dress, and he delights in cuddling with his mama.Last night, I took my two boys out to pick up a couple of things from Walmart. Mark had to catch up on some work, so I ventured out on my own, which is something I don't do very often. It takes a lot of work to get the kids ready, get them in and out of the car, find a shopping cart, keep them happy while I shop and get them home in one piece. You parents will understand this.
|
|
#
?
Jun 28, 2014 08:05
|
|
|
Shwoo posted:There's a version on Facebook that has the beginning of the story. Hell, this whole beginning is pure STDH. I'm surprised there's a father-figure around for the kids. I expect this kind of slunt to be a 'brave, single mommy' type.
|
|
#
?
Jun 28, 2014 08:34
|
|
|
Yeah that pink headband incident at Wal-Mart was written by Kathleen Carpenter aka "Katie Vyktoriah" and became a bit of a sensation last year. Despite earning major mom-blog-cred, her story was quickly pulled apart and questioned. Hoping to spin back some sympathy she threatened suicide and got put under psyche evaluation. She was taking the STDH cake with claims on her blog that included... quote:Having survived 3 failed kidnapping attempts and 1 successful one; claiming to be a stewardess for an airline and quitting just weeks before the flight crashed twice in three months; that she was “meant to be in NYC on 9/11, but I cancelled last minute”; that she missed catching a train that later crashed. No doubt somewhere in all that her original husband left her and laid the tracks for the crazy train to ride on. She's remarried (in Vegas) and is now back on facebook, again posting clickbait about pregnancies and other handy dandy lists, plus carefully commenting about the KFC mauling incident.
|
|
#
?
Jun 28, 2014 09:40
|
|
|
The weirdest claim that Katie Vyktoriah made is that she loves her little son so much that she'll lick the boogers from his nose while he sleeps. I hope to God it's not true.
|
|
#
?
Jun 28, 2014 10:39
|
|
|
There was another mommy blogger who said she once did the same to a stray piece of her child's poo poo when changing. I'm sure there are tons more of mothers smitten to madness. Lest we forget classics like Juliana Wetmore (still alive and a hit with the fundies) and "Your poison womb is making heaven crowded". On a darker note, recently there's been Lacey Spears, who had a past of clinically lying about all sorts of past-misdeeds, culminating in a seriously nuts rabbit hole of lies that starts off with an unsettling coveting of someone's kid she was being a nanny to then running off after getting pregnant with the guy next door and beginning her own "tragic mom" story that culminates in her kid dying from a sodium overdose. There's a five part expose on just what the hell was going on.
|
|
#
?
Jun 28, 2014 11:36
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 20, 2024 20:35 |
|
|
InediblePenguin posted:when I was working retail, at least half of the people who wrote CHECK ID on the backs of their credit cards would get really offended if you actually asked to see their ID Do they somehow think that if their card gets stolen, the culprit is also going to write "check photo ID?" I really don't get this.
|
|
#
?
Jun 28, 2014 14:37
|
|