Idiots on Social Media Thread

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FROOOOOOOOG: Jan 28, 2009

ToxicSlurpee posted:

I'm kind of waiting for an energy drink company to actually make a Devil's Drink now, honestly, kind of like how people went apeshit about how satanic metal was and then a bunch of overtly satanic metal bands came out and went "yup, evil as gently caress, I hate you. Die."

This is pretty close.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 03:59

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# ? May 23, 2024 13:48

Islam is the Lite Rock FM: Jul 27, 2007; by exmarx

kalanikaloni posted:

Update on the girl who was doing a month-long juice fast because she was inspired by a friend who had her ovarian cancer cured by juice: she quit after two days because her body wasn't getting enough nutrients.

What a chump. Any real juicer could consume the juice of 9kg of spinach per day.

Followed by acute vitamin a poisoning.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 05:39

Byzantine: Sep 1, 2007

Kaiju Cage Match posted:

I'm not an expert on Communist thought, but I'm pretty sure that witchcraft, bestiality and "no interest in ... state-regulated norms" all go heavily against it.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 06:58

Ralph Crammed In: May 11, 2007; Let's get clean and smart

Gen. Ripper posted:

"May cast an IMF spell?" Is she implying third world countries deserve to get hosed over by the IMF?

Regeants needed for this spell: roll of hundred note bills in denomination of your choice and a green candle.

"By the moons, by the godess,
you will privatize your state-owned assets
Ableist villian, cisist scum,
from Bretton-Woods your policies will come."

# ? Jun 27, 2014 06:59

Clarence: May 3, 2012

Kaiju Cage Match posted:

"dusty"? Or don't I want to know...

(And she really shouldn't be wearing black underwear with that dress.)

# ? Jun 27, 2014 07:14

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Clarence posted:

(And she really shouldn't be wearing black underwear with that dress.)

I'm afraid I must disagree and endorse the black underwear with that dress, tyvm

# ? Jun 27, 2014 07:24

My Lovely Horse: Aug 21, 2010

Kaiju Cage Match posted:

I don't care about what or how much you label yourself but leave your goddamn cats alone :catstare:

# ? Jun 27, 2014 07:36

Egregious Offences: Jun 15, 2013

I think we found Morally Inept's soul mate.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 08:00

Botswana!: Oct 12, 2009; They want what all Scotch people want: To kill the Queen, and destroy our way of life.

Byzantine posted:

I'm not an expert on Communist thought, but I'm pretty sure that witchcraft, bestiality and "no interest in ... state-regulated norms" all go heavily against it.

Communists believe in a stateless society, as opposed to Socialism, but they might be a weirdo Anarchist

# ? Jun 27, 2014 08:02

M_Sinistrari: Sep 5, 2008; Do you like scary movies?

swampland posted:

http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html

Link to really wanky poo poo about how empaths can not be boxed in like the normals and are very creative and cool.
Oh and also:

24. Prone to carry weight without necessarily overeating: The excess weight is a form of protection to stop the negative incoming energies having as much impact.

lol

With each one of these I read, it's like Empath and Indigo-Crystal-Rainbow-Star Adults/Children traits are all the same to the point you can swap the title around and they're not any different. It's like they've got to be somehow special from the horrible norms in the exact same conformist manner.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 08:36

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

The Iron Rose posted:

I dunno sucking a dick isn't the most enjoyable part of sex tbh.

That may be, but if you want to suck dick because making the dick owner happy makes you happy, then it's perfectly reasonable to consider sucking dick a normal and awesome part of sex.

Anime Device posted:

I love half naked females.

Really, though, everyone does. It's just a matter of who's willing to admit it without fear of eternal damnation or judgment.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 09:55

Experto Crede: Aug 19, 2008; Keep on Truckin'

ThatPazuzu posted:

Titanic Guy, Firefighter Guy... we need more Guys.

I'll be at five guys later :haw:

# ? Jun 27, 2014 10:41

Softface: Feb 16, 2011; Some things can't be unseen

I'd like to thank three of my friends for each sharing a video with a very NSFW thumbnail of a bare, diseased breast. It's probably fake, but seeing as I'm in a goddamn airport I'm not too eager to check it out.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 13:13

Segmentation Fault: Jun 7, 2012

Softface posted:

I'd like to thank three of my friends for each sharing a video with a very NSFW thumbnail of a bare, diseased breast. It's probably fake, but seeing as I'm in a goddamn airport I'm not too eager to check it out.

I know exactly what you're talking about and it's fake. It's just a lotus flower pod photoshopped over a woman's nipple.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 13:13

Softface: Feb 16, 2011; Some things can't be unseen

Segmentation Fault posted:

I know exactly what you're talking about and it's fake. It's just a lotus flower pod photoshopped over a woman's nipple.

I figured it was something like that. I need smarter friends, more sleep or both.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 13:16

Orgophlax: Aug 26, 2002

Segmentation Fault posted:

I know exactly what you're talking about and it's fake. It's just a lotus flower pod photoshopped over a woman's nipple.

It came from here as well: http://forums.somethingawful.com/dictionary.php?act=3&topicid=249

# ? Jun 27, 2014 13:17

Segmentation Fault: Jun 7, 2012

Orgophlax posted:

It came from here as well: http://forums.somethingawful.com/dictionary.php?act=3&topicid=249

Oh great I can't wait for someone to stab a titty a bunch of times over this poo poo

# ? Jun 27, 2014 13:25

RareAcumen: Dec 28, 2012

Experto Crede posted:

I'll be at five guys later

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcJFdCmN98s

# ? Jun 27, 2014 13:32

Philippe: Aug 9, 2013; (she/her)

The Iron Rose posted:

I dunno sucking a dick isn't the most enjoyable part of sex tbh.

I wonder. How does it feel to be so wrong?

# ? Jun 27, 2014 13:39

Deus Ex Macklemore: Jul 2, 2004; Zelensky's Zealots

1stGear posted:

I almost want to have kids purely so I can use this on them.

You don't have to have kids to say that to kids. Pick out some kids at random at the mall, park or local church. Extra bonus points if mom and dad are present.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 13:46

GOTTA STAY FAI: Mar 24, 2005; ~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~; College Slice

LoonShia posted:

I wonder. How does it feel to be so wrong?

Every time I try it it's definitely not enjoyable and is also very difficult. Usually after a while my wife stops me and says "let me do that before you hurt your back"

# ? Jun 27, 2014 14:28

ThatBasqueGuy: Feb 14, 2013; someone introduce jojo to lazyb

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Every time I try it it's definitely not enjoyable and is also very difficult. Usually after a while my wife stops me and says "let me do that before you hurt your back"

Just sounds like you need some flexibility training tbh

# ? Jun 27, 2014 14:33

Excels: Mar 7, 2012; Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!

quote:

friendzone'd

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy,but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 15:38

ol qwerty bastard: Dec 13, 2005; If you want something done, do it yourself!

My local social justice keyboard warrior shared this:

You know, I'm honestly with the SJWs all the way on sexism, racism, transphobia, classism, etc. These are important issues that need to be fixed. But introverts being an oppressed group? loving parents? Give me a break. In what possible universe are "people who have children" an underprivileged minority?

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:01

Excels: Mar 7, 2012; Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!

I am an introvert and I really dislike being treated any differently at parties. I don't want anyone's pity for having bad social skills lmao what the gently caress?

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:04

Arsonist Daria: Feb 27, 2011; ^{Requiescat in pace.}

ol qwerty bastard posted:

My local social justice keyboard warrior shared this:

You know, I'm honestly with the SJWs all the way on sexism, racism, transphobia, classism, etc. These are important issues that need to be fixed. But introverts being an oppressed group? loving parents? Give me a break. In what possible universe are "people who have children" an underprivileged minority?

Well you could keep a bowl of condoms somewhere so they don't make the same mistake as the last party.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:07

Zesty: Jan 17, 2012; The Great Twist

17 likes.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:07

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

i think telling people who are drunk off their rear end to try and relate to black people better is an excellent idea.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:07

EL BROMANCE: Jun 10, 2006; COWABUNGA DUDES!
🥷🐢😬

ol qwerty bastard posted:

My local social justice keyboard warrior shared this:

You know, I'm honestly with the SJWs all the way on sexism, racism, transphobia, classism, etc. These are important issues that need to be fixed. But introverts being an oppressed group? loving parents? Give me a break. In what possible universe are "people who have children" an underprivileged minority?

Funnily enough, today The Guardian put out a piece showing where in England a single person earning an average wage can afford to purchase a house.

As a single person who's making less than average wage (the 'average' always seems quite high because of the amount of people earning absurd money I expect, too) I'm feeling oppressed. Someone make a poster for me and my kind.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:08

Excels: Mar 7, 2012; Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:11

1stGear: Jan 16, 2010; Here's to the new us.

Rich Radbards posted:

You don't have to have kids to say that to kids. Pick out some kids at random at the mall, park or local church. Extra bonus points if mom and dad are present.

The point is that its accurate. A random stranger can just roll their eyes and say "Whatever, man." My kids would just have to sit there and deal with it.

I would be a bad father is what I'm getting at here.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:17

GOTTA STAY FAI: Mar 24, 2005; ~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~; College Slice

I wonder what the next "girls won't have sex with me because they're bitches" rationalization will be? Will bell bottoms come back into style and give us a chance to relive the glory days of Ladder Theory? Or will it be something new and even loving dumber?

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:20

Aleph Null: Jun 10, 2008; You look very stressed; Tortured By Flan

Excels posted:

Pity the bisexual who can never have friends, only sexual partners.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:32

Excels: Mar 7, 2012; Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!

Aleph Null posted:

Pity the bisexual who can never have friends, only sexual partners.

He's straight, I think he was in fact implying that he has both been in the Friend Zone and also put girls in the Friend Zone himself.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:33

Fashionable Jorts: Jan 18, 2010; Maybe if I'm busy it could keep me from you

ol qwerty bastard posted:

My local social justice keyboard warrior shared this:

You know, I'm honestly with the SJWs all the way on sexism, racism, transphobia, classism, etc. These are important issues that need to be fixed. But introverts being an oppressed group? loving parents? Give me a break. In what possible universe are "people who have children" an underprivileged minority?

I think the easiest way to make the party better would be to not invite the kind of buzzkill who would share this picture in the first place. We're here to have a party, not get depressed talking about prejudices.

Also holy gently caress introverts aren't some delicate little thing that need protection and special care.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:33

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

"is there an equivalent term for a male friend who turns down a close female friend?"

Uh... yeah. It's called the "friend zone". I'm not sure why he/she thinks that term only works one way.

I've been on both ends of it myself, and I would still call it the friend zone in both instances whether I was getting zoned or doing the zoning.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:38

Orgophlax: Aug 26, 2002

I think introvert is their socially acceptable way of saying "I self diagnosed myself as autistic" in this scenario.

EDIT:

Chomp8645 posted:

"is there an equivalent term for a male friend who turns down a close female friend?"

Uh... yeah. It's called the "friend zone". I'm not sure why he/she thinks that term only works one way.

I've been on both ends of it myself, and I would still call it the friend zone in both instances whether I was getting zoned or doing the zoning.

There is no such thing as the friend zone. Let it go.

# ? Jun 27, 2014 16:40