google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

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Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

snype

# ? Jun 28, 2014 18:46

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# ? May 14, 2024 00:05

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

"Ron Amadeo posted:

Let's look at some data. Ars has a relatively even presence on each social networks�automated posts go up on all 3 shortly after a post is made. Let's pick a relatively neutral story, like this heartbleed article from the other day (ars.to/1igvx62 ).

Twitter accounted for 49% of all social referrals.
Facebook accounted for 41% of all social referrals.
Google+ accounted for 5% of all social referrals.

This is what the numbers for most posts look like. This is where "Ghost town" comes from.

Let's pick another story type�one that all journalists dream of�a viral story. We'll use this article about hacking Steam sales data (ars.to/1i9eMts ).

Social referrals:
Facebook: 63%
Twitter: 28%
StumbleUpon: 7%
Google+: 1%

StumbleUpon drove x7 more traffic than Google+. GHOST TOWN.

Both of these are typical traffic examples. Ars has more followers on G+ (803k) than it does on Twitter (666k) or Facebook (194k), but the traffic just isn't there. For the month, G+ is 4% of social clicks. These are the facts. I'm sorry.

or put another way:

loving lol

# ? Jun 28, 2014 19:20

Juul-Whip: Mar 10, 2008

Pinterest Mom posted:

if someone is all "oh i don't use Facebook " people probably don't want to sleep with them, for very good reasons.

pretty much, everyone has an account, and if you don't you need to get with the program

twitter, instagram, snapchat etc aren't facebook replacements they are horrible garbage

# ? Jun 28, 2014 20:46

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Avenging Dentist posted:

the thing that always gets me is that this poo poo is actually worse in a way than drab, lifeless office buildings since it's just insulting your employees' intelligence

yes, please take fat stacks of cash you could have been giving me and instead put it into a poorly-rendered simulacrum of a college campus, only, you know, without the college girls

or have they figured out a way to trick college girls into being seen within a mile of SV tech nerds now too

look at the little babby who's never done whitecollar work for a huge multinational corporation before

companies like this do stuff like have an office cafeteria and sleeping space and showers and on-site everything because they want to minimize the amount of time you spend being at home and not working

h t h

the ball pits and slides are there because most of their employees are under 25

boomer-dominated companies are the norm and usually do things like have a bar in all the big conference rooms

# ? Jun 29, 2014 01:31

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

why would you have booze in the conference room

that sounds like something that would reduce valuable drunk golfing time

# ? Jun 29, 2014 01:37

Avenging Dentist: Oct 1, 2005; oh my god is that a circular saw that does not go in my mouth aaaaagh

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

companies like this do stuff like have an office cafeteria and sleeping space and showers and on-site everything because they want to minimize the amount of time you spend being at home and not working

uh yeah i know. that's the part that's insulting: that a company thinks adding amenities to keep me in the office 18 hours a day is pulling one over on me or something

gently caress you i work 40 hours a week and if you want more than that from me give me more money

# ? Jun 29, 2014 03:15

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

who was that company that got slapped down recently for claiming a bunch of employees as exempt (from labor act overtime) because they "used computers"

# ? Jun 29, 2014 03:23

theadder: Dec 30, 2011

something awful llc

# ? Jun 29, 2014 03:25

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

Avenging Dentist posted:

uh yeah i know. that's the part that's insulting: that a company thinks adding amenities to keep me in the office 18 hours a day is pulling one over on me or something

gently caress you i work 40 hours a week and if you want more than that from me give me more money

how about stock, you like stock right, thats like money

# ? Jun 29, 2014 03:29

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

theadder posted:

something awful llc

couldn't have been

nobody there knows how to use a computer

# ? Jun 29, 2014 03:30

theadder: Dec 30, 2011

syscall girl posted:

couldn't have been

nobody there knows how to use a computer

it can be pleasurable to press butans

think of radium as an ape

# ? Jun 29, 2014 03:31

born on a buy you: Aug 14, 2005; Odd Fullback
Bird Gang
Sack Them All

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

who was that company that got slapped down recently for claiming a bunch of employees as exempt (from labor act overtime) because they "used computers"

this is actually semi legal. if you're a salaried employee that does anything directly related to software/it, you're overtime exempt where other positions have a chance not to be

# ? Jun 29, 2014 04:06

born on a buy you: Aug 14, 2005; Odd Fullback
Bird Gang
Sack Them All

http://www.dol.gov/whd/overtime/fs17e_computer.pdf

# ? Jun 29, 2014 04:09

ultramiraculous: Nov 12, 2003; "No..."; Grimey Drawer

born on a buy you posted:

http://www.dol.gov/whd/overtime/fs17e_computer.pdf

/
/
/

wow, holy gently caress this

ultramiraculous fucked around with this message at 04:19 on Jun 29, 2014

# ? Jun 29, 2014 04:15

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

born on a buy you posted:

this is actually semi legal. if you're a salaried employee that does anything directly related to software/it, you're overtime exempt where other positions have a chance not to be

yep it's p dirty

but this was a company attempting to classify helpdesk/tech support employees as exempt and the department of labor was all LOL NO

i wanna say it was a corp in new york

# ? Jun 29, 2014 05:08

Nintendo Kid: Aug 4, 2011; by Smythe

born on a buy you posted:

http://www.dol.gov/whd/overtime/fs17e_computer.pdf

doesnt this come from when they still made women do a lot of the grunt work with computers as a way to keep their employment costs low

# ? Jun 29, 2014 05:48

the talent deficit: Dec 20, 2003; self-deprecation is a very british trait, and problems can arise when the british attempt to do so with a foreign culture

cremnob posted:

facebook is stealing share of ad $, and more importantly they're making lots of money in mobile while google stumbles around. larry page has no idea what hes doing which is why having an 80% share of smartphones hasn't made any money other than aping apple's business model with 30% of play store revenue which they also share with carriers and OEMs lol. they revealed at i/o that they paid out $5 bil in the last 12 months so its a pittance.

between fb, whatsapp and instagram facebook basically own 75% of what people actually do on their phones (besides gaming). facebook are going to kill google in mobile ads over the next decade

# ? Jun 29, 2014 06:00

theadder: Dec 30, 2011

facebook will look like myspace does now before a decade is up

# ? Jun 29, 2014 06:01

computer parts: Nov 18, 2010; PLEASE CLAP

theadder posted:

facebook will look like myspace does now before a decade is up

a decade's already been up for Facebook

# ? Jun 29, 2014 06:01

theadder: Dec 30, 2011

he said over the next decade keep up

# ? Jun 29, 2014 06:08

computer parts: Nov 18, 2010; PLEASE CLAP

it's still not going to be true though since tumblr already has the myspace customization demographic

# ? Jun 29, 2014 06:24

Nintendo Kid: Aug 4, 2011; by Smythe

the talent deficit posted:

between fb, whatsapp and instagram facebook basically own 75% of what people actually do on their phones (besides gaming).

lol that you believe this, old man

# ? Jun 29, 2014 06:27

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

Nintendo Kid posted:

lol that you believe this, old man

#lol

# ? Jun 29, 2014 06:28

rotor: Jun 11, 2001; classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

Nintendo Kid posted:

doesnt this come from when they still made women do a lot of the grunt work with computers as a way to keep their employment costs low

no it was during the late 90s a bunch of companies went to washington and made the case that software is special and we LIKE working 60 hour weeks and please don't do anything that might harm the biggest economic run up in American history ... and they DIDNT!!!

# ? Jun 29, 2014 06:34

Miley Virus: Apr 9, 2010

rotor posted:

no it was during the late 90s a bunch of companies went to washington and made the case that software is special and we LIKE working 60 hour weeks and please don't do anything that might harm the biggest economic run up in American history ... and they DIDNT!!!

guess you better edit wikipedia then, don't want some poorly calibrated fishmechin' around these parts

# ? Jun 29, 2014 06:44

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

rotor posted:

no it was during the late 90s a bunch of companies went to washington and made the case that software is special and we LIKE working 60 hour weeks and please don't do anything that might harm the biggest economic run up in American history ... and they DIDNT!!!

computering requires a rare keen mind and nimble fingers capable of maintaining 70 words per minute for hours at a time and some specialized training

such essential personnel clearly should not be subject to overtime pay requirements

and if the workplace has lost electricity or is otherwise inaccessible due to weather conditions then these exempt employees may even be required to burn PTO for time not worked instead of simply being given their salary during an office closure even with a declared disaster area

# ? Jun 29, 2014 07:10

rotor: Jun 11, 2001; classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

Miley Virus posted:

guess you better edit wikipedia then, don't want some poorly calibrated fishmechin' around these parts

that's what I remember anyway

# ? Jun 29, 2014 07:17

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

quote:

To qualify for the computer employee exemption, the following tests must be met:
� The employee must be compensated either on a salary or fee basis at a rate not less than $455 per week or, if compensated on an hourly basis, at a rate not less than $27.63 an hour;

27.63 * 40 = 1105.20

hmmm

# ? Jun 29, 2014 11:07

Wheany: Mar 17, 2006; Spinya^{ha^{ha^haha}ha}ha_{ha_{ha_haha}ha}ha!; Doctor Rope

yesterday i noticed that they had removed time lapse mode from the camera in android. thoogle

# ? Jun 30, 2014 06:43

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

oh, so the video can keep up with itself now?

# ? Jun 30, 2014 14:41

cremnob: Jun 30, 2010

http://en.blog.orkut.com/2014/06/tchau-orkut.html

scroogled again lol!!

# ? Jun 30, 2014 16:08

cremnob: Jun 30, 2010

http://www.polymer-project.org/components/paper-elements/demo.html#paper-checkbox

material design lol

# ? Jun 30, 2014 16:44

cremnob: Jun 30, 2010

reuters writes a post about how driverless cars are a PR stunt cause the only way its gonna make money is if

a. google gets into the high capex business of car manufacturing lol
b. licenses the tech to car companies (but they wont cause they're working on the tech themselves so they won't pay the google tax)

quote:

In 2012, a small team of Google Inc engineers and business staffers met with several of the world�s largest car makers, to discuss partnerships to build self-driving cars.

In one meeting, both sides were enthusiastic about the futuristic technology, yet it soon became clear that they would not be working together. The Internet search company and the automaker disagreed on almost every point, from car capabilities and time needed to get it to market to extent of collaboration.

It was as if the two were "talking a different language," recalls one person who was present.

As Google expands beyond Web search and seeks a foothold in the automotive market, the company's eagerness has begun to reek of arrogance to some in Detroit, who see danger as well as promise in Silicon Valley.

For now Google is moving forward on its own, building prototypes of fully autonomous vehicles that reject car makers' plans to gradually enhance existing cars with self-driving features. But Google's hopes of making autonomous cars a reality may eventually require working with Detroit, even the California company acknowledges. The alternative is to spend potentially billions of dollars to try to break into a century-old industry in which it has no experience.

"The auto companies are watching Google closely and trying to understand what its intentions and ambitions are," said one person familiar with the auto industry, who asked to remain anonymous because of sensitive business relationships.

"Automakers are not sure if Google is their friend or their enemy, but they have a sneaking suspicion that whatever Google�s going to do is going to cause upheaval in the industry."

NO STEERING WHEEL

Analysts estimate Google has invested tens of millions of dollars in an effort that's ultimately a side project. But car companies, all too familiar with the devastating financial and brand damage of recalls, would see any hiccups with the self-driving car as a threat to their main business.

Nowhere is the disconnect more evident than in Google's latest prototype. Two people sit abreast in the tiny pod-shaped car, which has a flexible windshield for safety and is topped by a spinning cone that helps navigation. here The electric vehicles, unveiled in May, are limited to a maximum speed of 25 miles per hour and do away with several decades-long constants in motoring: the steering wheel, brake pedal and accelerator pedal.

Google co-founder Sergey Brin has described self-driving cars as an on-demand service that consumers summon when needed. That would represent a seismic shift from a longstanding model based on individual ownership, an annual $375 billion U.S. market according to J.D. Power.

Moreover, a study by consulting firm KPMG last year found that American consumers would trust brands like Google and Apple more for self-driving cars than they would automakers.

General Motors� global product development chief Mark Reuss recently said Google could become a �very serious competitive threat.�

EVOLUTION VERSUS REVOLUTION

Chris Urmson, director of Google's self-driving car group, would not discuss any negotiations with automakers but argues that self-driving cars will benefit car companies and consumers by expanding the number of car users.

"I'm confident that when there is technology that makes sense, and when there is a business model that makes sense, that there will be interest and partnerships" with car makers, Urmson told Reuters in an interview.

Self-driving cars can free people to do more of the things that earn Google money, such as Web search. But Urmson said Google is still figuring out how to make a profit from the technology.

"I would imagine that this is probably different than just making more time for people to click on web sites," he said.

Car makers such as GM, Mercedes and Volvo have been developing their own autonomous vehicle technology for years.

But most favour an incremental approach to self-driving cars, in which features such as lane centering and parking assistance are gradually integrated into vehicles. Car makers are also hesitant to invest in new features until they are certain there is enough demand to pay for them.

That approach and car makers' long development process are at odds with Google�s ambition to create a fully autonomous car in one swoop. The Internet company seemed to have little patience for Detroit, according to people involved in the 2012 talks with automakers.

�There was a certain amount of arrogance on the Google side, in the sense of �We know what we�re doing, you just help us,�� said a second person, representing a major car maker, who was involved in discussions with Google.

�We�d say, �Well you don�t really know that much. And we�re not going to put our name on a project like that because if something goes wrong, we have a lot more to lose.��

Another potential sticking point is maps developed by Google and essential for its robo-cars to operate, says Sven Strohband, a robotics expert who worked at Volkswagen until 2006 and was not involved in the discussions. That data, compiled by Google, can be extraordinarily detailed, down to the height of curbs or location of signs.

�The question is who owns the data,� he said. "You need to have frequent map updates and your car can only go where you have really accurate map data."

Without a driver to blame when accidents happen, the vehicles could bring greater liability for car makers.

Google's assurances to one car maker that it would take responsibility for accidents due to its technology, and that the data collected by the cars makes it easy to pinpoint fault, was dismissed, according to the first person involved in the 2012 discussions.

�I just couldn�t believe my ears and was like �Wow you live in a bubble,�� the person said. �Car makers never get to decide who is at fault. It�s the lawyers, the judge and the jury.�

STARTING SMALL

Whether Google opts to license its technology or seeks to build cars to its specifications, Google will need Detroit for the last mile, say industry experts and insiders.

Google has made headway in less sensitive areas such as entertainment and navigation. In January, Google teamed up with GM, Audi, Honda and Hyundai to form the Open Automotive Alliance to incorporate its Android operating system, the software for mobile phones and tablets, into cars.

And it has taken steps to understand regulations better, hiring Ron Medford, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration�s former Deputy Director, in November 2012.

�My view on this is both parties probably need each other,� said Strohband, now Chief Technology Officer at venture capital firm Khosla Ventures.

A source at one automaker said the company talks to Google on a weekly basis about auto matters, though they have not partnered on self-driving cars.

Some in the industry predict fully automated cars will be available as soon as 2020, though research firm IHS Automotive does not expect the cars to be widely available until 2035. For now, Google is starting small with 100 to 200 prototype cars. It wouldn't identify manufacturing partners, though industry reports pinpoint Michigan-based Roush Enterprises, which assembles small volumes of custom vehicles such as race cars. Roush declined comment.

To build anything more than a couple thousand cars would likely require an automaker partner. Industry insiders point to critical systems such as steering and suspension, the intricacies of working with hundreds of suppliers and high-volume production at consistent levels of reliability as skills that cannot be learned overnight.

While Tesla Motors offers an example of an outsider breaking into the business, the electric car maker has benefited from a hefty government loan and from having access to the shuttered GM-Toyota NUMMI car manufacturing plant in Fremont, California.

The cost to launch a new car model, including costs of developing and tooling, is generally $1 billion to $1.5 billion. For a company starting from scratch, such as Google, that cost would likely be higher, say auto industry experts.

Some industry observers have suggested that Google should pair up with Tesla, which is also developing self-driving technology and which shares Google's Silicon Valley mindset. With roughly $60 billion in cash, Google could also acquire a smaller auto company, some speculate, though they note that such a move would involve more ongoing costs, liabilities and cultural challenges then Google may be willing to accept.

"Google is the 800-pound gorilla in the room and nobody wants to miss the boat," said Edwin Olson, assistant professor of computer science at the University of Michigan, who works with Ford on an automated vehicle project. "But at the same time I don�t think automakers want Google to be dictating terms if the time comes and Google is the only game in town."

cremnob fucked around with this message at 00:16 on Jul 1, 2014

# ? Jun 30, 2014 23:47

Nintendo Kid: Aug 4, 2011; by Smythe

cremnob mad google gonna run he car

# ? Jun 30, 2014 23:52

Forums Terrorist: Dec 8, 2011

cremnob posted:

reuters writes a post about how driverless cars are a PR stunt cause the only way its gonna make money is if

a. google gets into the high capex business of car manufacturing lol

watch vcs make this happen

# ? Jul 1, 2014 00:08

cremnob: Jun 30, 2010

google becoming a car manufacturer or buying tesla would make me lol forever

# ? Jul 1, 2014 00:09

Forums Terrorist: Dec 8, 2011

they'll do it and make lodsemone because this is a sin cursed world and god actively wants cremnob, personally, to suffer

# ? Jul 1, 2014 00:10

cremnob: Jun 30, 2010

google getting into the car business would hasten its death and i welcome these moves. im particularly fond of google buying tesla for 30 billion dollars

# ? Jul 1, 2014 00:17

Nintendo Kid: Aug 4, 2011; by Smythe

cremnob is going to work for google in 3 years

# ? Jul 1, 2014 00:26

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 00:05

Forums Terrorist: Dec 8, 2011

Nintendo Kid posted:

cremnob is going to work for google in 3 years

yeah when they open a stock exchange

he'll be like their colonel cargill

# ? Jul 1, 2014 00:40

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

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