Iraq War 3 - Just F*ck Already! - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Iraq War 3 - Just F*ck Already!

MA-Horus: Dec 3, 2006; I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Genocide Tendency posted:

Just a reminder. Genghis Khan was conquering areas a year after his death.

What I am saying here is, they were on to something.

The army that bootfucked the Middle East the first time was a scouting force. Like 10000 dudes. Against the entire might of the quarismian shah.

There wasn't an army on earth that could stand up to them.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 17:01

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 14:09

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

There's a reason that 8% of the men across Asia and parts of Europe carry a marker on their genes from Mongolia. The Mongols were no loving joke.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 17:11

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Zeroisanumber posted:

The bombing of the al-Askari Mosque got a pretty strong reaction.

Oh is that all it took? Half a million civilian deaths didn't matter much.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 17:32

Bolow: Feb 27, 2007

MA-Horus posted:

The army that bootfucked the Middle East the first time was a scouting force. Like 10000 dudes. Against the entire might of the quarismian shah.

There wasn't an army on earth that could stand up to them.

Probably shouldn't have murdered diplomatic envoys and paid proper reverence to Ghengis The Motherfucking Khan. They would've likely gotten to keep their lands, paid some tribute and not have molten silver poured down their throats.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 17:58

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Mr. Nice! posted:

There's a reason that 8% of the men across Asia and parts of Europe carry a marker on their genes from Mongolia. The Mongols were no loving joke.

Hrm, I was born....in the wrong century.

*gets thrown off a cliff by the warlord's aid for nearsightedness*

# ? Jul 5, 2014 19:15

Slim Pickens: Jan 12, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Genghis Khan killed so many people it actually caused global cooling. All that empty farmland got taken back over by nature and absorbed more CO2 than the farms would.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 19:45

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

Slim Pickens posted:

Genghis Khan killed so many people it actually caused global cooling. All that empty farmland got taken back over by nature and absorbed more CO2 than the farms would.

We've found the solution to global warming.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 19:49

Mad Dragon: Feb 29, 2004

Mr. Nice! posted:

We've found the solution to global warming.

Nuclear winter would be more effective.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 20:37

ManMythLegend: Aug 18, 2003; I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.

Slim Pickens posted:

Genghis Khan killed so many people it actually caused global cooling. All that empty farmland got taken back over by nature and absorbed more CO2 than the farms would.

I want to say this is bullshit, but it's so crazy that it wraps back around to being kind of believable.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 20:44

Mad Dragon: Feb 29, 2004

Well, he did seem like a pretty chill dude on Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 20:48

SquirrelyPSU: May 27, 2003

ManMythLegend posted:

I want to say this is bullshit, but it's so crazy that it wraps back around to being kind of believable.

Old NY Times article on the 8% thing.

And the global cooling thing has some legs, apparently the Carnegie Institute for Global Ecology or some such thing did a study on it.

e: Found a link to the Carnegie Institute press release of the matter here.

SquirrelyPSU fucked around with this message at 21:02 on Jul 5, 2014

# ? Jul 5, 2014 20:56

ManMythLegend: Aug 18, 2003; I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.

SquirrelyPSU posted:

Old NY Times article on the 8% thing.

And the global cooling thing has some legs, apparently the Carnegie Institute for Global Ecology or some such thing did a study on it.

I had heard the 8% number before. I read in The Economist a few years ago. The global cooling is new to me though.

If true that's amazing in a really morbid way.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 21:00

Noeland: Feb 28, 2006

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Ice_Age

quote:

Several causes have been proposed: cyclical lows in solar radiation, heightened volcanic activity, changes in the ocean circulation, an inherent variability in global climate, or decreases in the human population.

One of the larger little ice ages occurred when a bunch of American Indians were wiped out by a plague, stopping their progress of burning the trees to clear hunting grounds on the Great Plains. It caused something like a 5 degree global drop in temp, gotta find the research on that one.

In short: You can blame the indians for global warming.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 21:16

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Um, human actions affecting the environment? Nah, don't think so buddy.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 21:19

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Noeland posted:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Ice_Age

One of the larger little ice ages occurred when a bunch of American Indians were wiped out by a plague, stopping their progress of burning the trees to clear hunting grounds on the Great Plains. It caused something like a 5 degree global drop in temp, gotta find the research on that one.

In short: You can blame the indians for global warming.

# ? Jul 5, 2014 21:19

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

Noeland posted:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Ice_Age

One of the larger little ice ages occurred when a bunch of American Indians were wiped out by a plague, stopping their progress of burning the trees to clear hunting grounds on the Great Plains. It caused something like a 5 degree global drop in temp, gotta find the research on that one.

In short: You can blame the indians for global warming.

It to have been for just that region. A 5 degree global temp drop is like the polar ice caps pushing back into the Midwest.

# ? Jul 6, 2014 00:26

Zeroisanumber: Oct 23, 2010; Nap Ghost

holocaust bloopers posted:

It to have been for just that region. A 5 degree global temp drop is like the polar ice caps pushing back into the Midwest.

You would've loved last winter in Minneapolis.

# ? Jul 6, 2014 01:22

Genocide Tendency: Dec 24, 2009; I get mental health care from the medical equivalent of Skillcraft.

Zeroisanumber posted:

You would've loved ~~last~~ any winter in Minneapolis.

# ? Jul 6, 2014 22:20

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

so basically nuking the middle east will solve global warming and will make the west like genghis khan

i dont see anything wrong here

# ? Jul 7, 2014 01:18

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Fojar38 posted:

so basically nuking the middle east will solve global warming and will make the west like genghis khan

i dont see anything wrong here

if we nuke them how do we gently caress all the women?

can't be mongols if we dont propagate the master race.

# ? Jul 7, 2014 07:16

Snowdens Secret: Dec 29, 2008; Someone got you a obnoxiously racist av.

ded posted:

if we nuke them how do we gently caress all the women?

can't be mongols if we dont propagate the master race.

Drop the gay bomb

# ? Jul 7, 2014 07:37

iyaayas01: Feb 19, 2010; Perry'd

I just wanted to say the thread's title still makes me chuckle.

# ? Jul 7, 2014 07:48

Genocide Tendency: Dec 24, 2009; I get mental health care from the medical equivalent of Skillcraft.

ded posted:

if we nuke them how do we gently caress all the women?

can't be mongols if we dont propagate the master race.

Someone hasn't seen the opening raid of The Messenger.

# ? Jul 7, 2014 08:53

chemosh6969

Jul 3, 2004

code:
cat /dev/null > /etc/professionalism

_{_{I am in fact a massive asswagon.

Do not let me touch computer.}}

Has Obama said anything denying he's against the current caliphate?

# ? Jul 11, 2014 16:21

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

# ? Jul 11, 2014 17:23

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Has he released any word on whether he thinks Joesph Smith might have been telling the truth?

# ? Jul 11, 2014 17:28

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Also, how does the President feel about Crystal Pepsi? Should it come back? Or should we focus on perfecting Mtn Dew Baja Blast?

# ? Jul 11, 2014 17:29

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Inforwars has a rumor that New Coke is just a marketing scheme and they're bringing back original Coke as Coke Classic later this year.

# ? Jul 11, 2014 17:43

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

I drive by a truck parked outside a house every day with an infowars.com sticker, and I wish every day that I could punch that person in the face.

# ? Jul 11, 2014 17:52

chemosh6969

Jul 3, 2004

code:
cat /dev/null > /etc/professionalism

_{_{I am in fact a massive asswagon.

Do not let me touch computer.}}

Booblord Zagats posted:

Has he released any word on whether he thinks Joesph Smith might have been telling the truth?

I don't think he's ever denied the words of Joseph Smith but he also hasn't said he would give up Islam to switch to Mormon.

# ? Jul 11, 2014 18:09

Fucitol: May 8, 2005; Ceterum autem censeo mundum esse delendam

Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris

obama being a plant from the shah gives me hope that there's at least some feasible ulterior motive to us tripping on our dicks in the middle east.

instead it's just us fumbling our way through a geopolitical imbroglio that makes The Charge of the Light Brigade look like Anne Romney's dumb loving horse dancing bullshit.

# ? Jul 11, 2014 18:27

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Obama has come out in favor of John Titor.

# ? Jul 11, 2014 19:22

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

chemosh6969 posted:

I don't think he's ever denied the words of Joseph Smith but he also hasn't said he would give up Islam to switch to Mormon.

I was going to make the joke that they've probably already baptized him without his consent, but then I remembered he's black so nevermind.

# ? Jul 11, 2014 19:43

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

Obama is gay.

# ? Jul 11, 2014 19:54

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Godholio posted:

I was going to make the joke that they've probably already baptized him without his consent, but then I remembered he's black so nevermind.

This is a good rear end joke about Mormons

# ? Jul 11, 2014 20:09

Force de Fappe: Nov 7, 2008

Godholio posted:

I was going to make the joke that they've probably already baptized him without his consent, but then I remembered he's black so nevermind.

mormowned

# ? Jul 11, 2014 21:49

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Mike-o posted:

I drive by a truck parked outside a house every day with an infowars.com sticker, and I wish every day that I could punch that person in the face.

Only you can make your dream a reality. Get out there and grab that brass ~~ring~~ knuckles.

# ? Jul 11, 2014 23:07

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

Mike-o posted:

I drive by a truck parked outside a house every day with an infowars.com sticker, and I wish every day that I could punch that person in the face.

Some moron here slapped one on a stop sign at the top of an on-ramp. I hope he was run over right afterward.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 00:43

Mud Shark: May 12, 2012

Fucitol posted:

instead it's just us fumbling our way through a geopolitical imbroglio that makes The Charge of the Light Brigade look like Anne Romney's dumb loving horse dancing bullshit.

In about 100 years this is going to be considered poetry. It kind of is now.

# ? Jul 12, 2014 03:01

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 14:09

chemosh6969

Jul 3, 2004

code:
cat /dev/null > /etc/professionalism

_{_{I am in fact a massive asswagon.

Do not let me touch computer.}}

http://beforeitsnews.com/conspiracy-theories/2014/06/the-un-is-preparing-to-impose-martial-on-the-us-2463756.html

quote:

I have been writing that my military sources tell me that their greatest fears are beginning to become realized because the United States will be, in the relatively near future, this country will be under martial law and the bulk of the occupation force will be comprised by foreign troops operating under the flag of the United Nations.

Under the heading, �Hiding in plain sight�, the United Nations is advertising for the following position:

Posting Title: Disarmament, Demobilization and Reintegration Officer, P4

Job Title Code: DISARMAMENT, DEMOBILIBATION AND REINTEGRATION OFFICER

Department/Office: Department of Peacekeeping Operations

Duty Station: New York

Job Description: A minimum of seven years of progressively responsible experience in disarmament, demobilisation and reintegration or related area. Experience working within peacekeeping, peace-building or development programmes operations is desirable. Experience with small arms control, conflict/post-conflict crisis management, economic recovery is desirable. Experience coordinating multiple partner agencies, funds or programmes is desirable.

Analysis of the Job Description

Peacekeeping is normally the euphemism reserved for gun confiscation and population subjugation. If there is any doubt to the veracity of this claim, the following phrase �Experience with small arms control�, should remove any doubt as to what is coming. Further this job description uses phrases such as �demobilization�. Further the phrase �reintegration� is also significant. By definition, what is a re-education camp designed for? Quite simply put, it is designed for reintegration back into society. Back into society from where? This question can be answered with a pair of four letter words, FEMA Camp.
UN controlled FEMA Camp

UN controlled FEMA Camp

un gun ban treatyNo doubt that some people, wanting to remain in a state of denial, will ignore the term used in the UN job advertisment, �small arms control�, which is significant since because we know that Secretary of State, John Kerry, illegally signed the UN gun ban treaty representing an unconstitutional end run around the Second Amendment.

What is highly significant is that nobody seems to be talking with regard to this illegitimate imposition of foreign troops on our soil is represented in the phrase �conflict/post conflict management�! What conflict/post conflict management? Conflict management is another euphemism reserved for one of two possibilities. First, this implies there will be a civil war. With over 260+ senior military officers fired by Obama for not embracing the future need to fire on American citizens, speaks clearly to this point. Ask yourself, what would be the one thing that this administration could do that would guarantee a violent response from many of the people? That one thing would be to start seizing private guns. Foreign troops operating under the UN flag. Obama is in the midst of purging the military leadership who will not indiscriminately fire upon American citizens who would resist having their Second Amendment rights obliterated by this present administration. Secondly, in order to create the manufactured need to impose martial law, the administration would need a pretext. I have been covering the pretext for nearly a year. In fact, the pretext has been rehearsed repeatedly since last fall.

Rehearsing for Martial Law

Last fall, FEMA, DHS and select foreign entities extensively rehearsed for the following contingencies in the following list of list of the preparedness and disaster drills planned and carried out over a six week period:

1. FEMA purchase orders for over $14.2 million for MREs and heater meals to be delivered to Region III by October 1st, 2013.

2. FEMA purchase orders for 22 million pouches of emergency water to be delivered to Region III by October 1st, 2013.

3. FEMA purchase orders for $13.6 million for MREs and heater meals to be delivered to Austin, TX. by October 1st, 2013.

4. $11 million in antibiotics to be delivered to FEMA region III by October 1st ordered by CDC

5, Nine-week training course for UN Peacekeepers in CONUS to learn Urban Warfare, English, and US weapons systems beginning late July for 386,000 troops to be completed by October 1st

6. Great Shakeout Drill Scheduled for October 17, 2013

7. More Than 1,000 Banks Plan National Cyber-Attack Drill Oct. 16-17, Oct. 23-24

8. Quantum Dawn� Is a Cyber-Attack Bank Drill �

9. GridEx2 Nov. 13-14

The Grid EXs drill was the most concerning of these drills because it rehearsed and EMP attack upon our grid and estimates at the time forecasted a 90% mortality rate. in America. following such an event within two years.

The most telling part of these drills is that they all have in common the need to impose strict martial law in which the tenets of EO 13603 will come into play.

Last fall, I expressed serious concerns over so many of these drills taking place in such a short period of time. I raised the question of martial law arising from any one of these events going hot. In hindsight, I think I was too close to the truth as to what is coming because even the Russian media invited me on a news show that is distributed in New York City and Washington DC, as well as in 35 other countries.

On October 28, 2013, I was contacted by reporter and producer, Victoria Mashkova, from the Voice of Russia (formerly Radio Moscow), and was invited on to their radio program to discuss the possibility of martial law coming to America. I accepted and in the early morning hours I participated in a 10 minute interview.

Inside of the United States today, there are untold numbers of Russian troops for which I have received reports of sightings from first-hand witnesses. It is quite apparent that Russian troops will be used as a UN force whose purpose is gun confiscation, American citizen detention and Lord knows what else when martial law is finally declared. The Russians have a vested interest to conceal their true intentions related to why they have thousands of troops inside of our country. As I lay out the events connected to the interview it will become increasingly clear that I was invited to appear on VOR to completely discredit the notion that America would be going into martial law.Now, if I was a merely some crazed conspiracy theorist, this Russian version of the mainstream media would justvsimply ignore me. However, when they go out of their way to discredit my views as it relates to them, they clearly have something to hide and were operating from a state-sponsored agenda.
Voice of Russia Attacked Dave Hodges to Conceal Russian Participation In Martial Law Preparations

After inviting me to appear on the VOR, the producer, Victoria Maskova, had requested a bio which I provided as detailed below:
�I am a retired college basketball coach. A former mental health counselor. I have taught graduate and undergraduate psychology, sociology and research classes.�

At the beginning of the interview, the Russian host, Kate Zickel, introduced me as merely the �Host of The Common Sense Show� and there was no mention of my academic credentials. Immediately, I felt this was an attempt to marginalize my credibility by ignoring the requested credentials I provided VOR with regard to my background in which I characterized myself as a researcher, someone who is knowledgeable about social systems as well as human nature. Over the past several years, I have done enough mainstream radio media interviews to recognize a �set up� when I see it coming.

Make no mistake about it, VOR is a propaganda instrument of the Russian government and their handling of the interview and post-interview situations pointed to their propagandizing of their interview of me. After the interview, their post-show analysis categorized me as an extremist for stating that America was prepping for martial law. If we were not prepping for martial law then what the hell were the nine referenced FEMA/DHS drills, taking place in a six week period, in which foreign troops played a prominent role, used for ?

Look at item number five in last year�s martial law preparation drills. �5, Nine-week training course for UN Peacekeepers in CONUS to learn Urban Warfare, English, and US weapons systems beginning late July for 386,000 troops to be completed by October 1st�.

Please note the designation and use of terms for �386,000 troops� and, �UN Peacekeepers in CONUS to learn urban warfare�. This does not leave much to the imagination now does it?

In Part Two of this series, I will present the evidence how far this plot has advanced and how we are all in a lot of trouble.

Are any of you guys one of his military sources? If so, how much time do we have left? Are you still accepting applications?

# ? Jul 14, 2014 20:52

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