quote:

America has been swept up in a sudden interest in soccer. We generally prefer our sports to be violent and eventful, but there’s a magic in soccer that’s captivating: the most favorite sons of a nation, competing for said nation’s honor. It’s as if each country sent their own “Avengers” team to protect their sovereignty on a world stage. My own jingoism brought me to television screens and surreptitious, compulsive ALT-TABs to the ESPN Gamecasts as our team fought for glory. In was during one of these contests that I realized rooting for the USMNT was a familiar feeling; it was precisely the same as listening to Nas. In that moment, I realized we were hosed.

The USMNT’s World Cup contests played like Nas’ discography: the subtle, thrilling, inexplicable brilliance of the win over Ghana was our Illmatic: An auspicious debut (“Live at the BBQ”/however many previous World Cups notwithstanding) that captured the nation’s attention and made us believe in a limitless future. What followed was a 2-2 tie with Portugal, our It Was Written. While ultimately unsatisfying and short of expectations, enough was shown to justify the attention and future hope. The USMNT then followed with its Stillmatic, or more specifically “Ether”: an obvious, brutal loss to Germany that in the end still gave all the benefits of a decisive win. The US was finally eliminated in our Life Is Good, a 2-1 loss to Belgium. A contest and album both defined by exemplary efforts, punctuated by an ultimate let-down.

The USMNT roster is full of the same brilliance and barf of a Nas record. Tim Howard’s brilliance made the game look too easy, the same as Nasir’s flow at his peak powers, leaving your mind unable to conceive how the hell the guy did it. The USMNT defense and midfield took up the Bravehearts banner: often outclassed, frequently embarrassing. Michael Bradley earns the Big Horse honor; the one person so bad that you ended up learing their name via bad connotations. The USMNT manager employed Nas-ian tactics as well, often choosing the starting 11 with the same lack of logic and feel Nas displays when choosing beats to rap over. Combined, it’s a familiar set of frustrations made all the more painful when compared to the easy brilliance of Brazil’s Jay Z, the technical mastery of Germany’s (not-sober) Eminem (Brazil vs. Germany being their “Renegade,” where Germany/Eminem killed Brazil/Jay on their own poo poo, obvs), or the effortless creativity of Argentina’s Biggie.

The truest comparison between being a Nas fan and rooting for the USMNT is also its most simple: no matter how thrilling the peaks, no matter how perfect the technique… deep down, everyone knows a loss is coming. Two pillars of excellence, Nas and the United States, inexplicably can only stay on top for the briefest of moments before crumbling into a sea of squandered talent and lost expectations. We will always try to convince ourselves it will be different “this time,” if only because the lie allows us to enjoy the moment.

The USMNT can reverse its Nas-L-of-destiny, and it’s as simple as avoiding the mistakes Nasir has made in his career. (Semi-related: prenups are a good idea for everyone.) We must choose our team wisely; contributions of the past are less valuable than actual contributions. The USMNT cannot keep fielding the soccer equivalent of weed carriers if we expect to win anything significant. Finally, the USMNT must establish an identity centered in our talents: chasing trends or copying more successful teams (call it “Escobar-ing") will only ultimately do our nation a disservice.

trem_two posted:

trem_two posted:

trem_two posted:

trem_two posted:

Dunban posted:

Michael Bradley earns the Big Horse honor

Dunban posted:

Michael Bradley earns the Big Horse honor

trem_two posted:

Frankston posted:

I don't know who Nas is so I can't fully appreciate that article.

Frankston posted:

I don't know who Nas is so I can't fully appreciate that article.

Syncopated posted:

he's the Ronaldo of rap OP

Monday Bandele posted:

More like Alvaro Recoba

Syncopated posted:

I do not know who this is, could you compare him to a heavy metal artist perhaps?

Chris de Sperg posted:

thanks nate silver

Chris de Sperg posted:

thanks nate silver

NEED TOILET PAPER posted:

Eh, tbf it was reasonably close to what really happened. Still dumb as hell and Nate Silver should stick to predicting election results.

St Evan Echoes posted:

You could use that exact chart for almost any match involving two reasonably well-matched teams in the history of football and it would be "reasonably close to what actually happened"

Wirth1000 posted:

What the gently caress does SOG mean

Wirth1000 posted:

What the gently caress does SOG mean

Wirth1000 posted:

What the gently caress does SOG mean

Big Black Dick posted:

Six other genders

African AIDS cum posted:

would explain the mediocre passing

quote:

Why don't you try it, then, if it's so easy? Have you ever actually seen a rodeo, apart from maybe CFR, NFR or Stampede? It's a lot loving harder than kicking a soccer ball around, and you'll see it if you actually see a rodeo that hasn't already selected the best athletes in the world.

vyelkin posted:

lmao there was literally a guy in the Canadian Politics thread in D&D getting mad at our national broadcaster for not cutting off part of the World Cup final to put on a loving rodeo, and when pressed he said that guys who wrestle cows for money are the finest athletes in the world

African AIDS cum posted:

would explain the mediocre passing