July Army Thread

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > July Army Thread

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

Anansi The Spider posted:

How is this so unbelievable? If you honestly think that the TRADOCrmy is any bit logical you're insane. It happens all the loving time you need 3 things to graduate from BCT/11B OSUT. PT Score of 180 or above. Nothing else matters.

Cole posted:

Post the orders

# ? Jul 21, 2014 01:21

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# ? Jun 10, 2024 22:46

gleep gloop: Aug 16, 2005; GROSS SHIT

I'm sure Anansis stories are mostly repeated or exaggerated but I don't see what's so hard to believe. Also you mad dumb Cole bee tee double you

# ? Jul 21, 2014 01:49

elite_garbage_man: Apr 3, 2010; I THINK THAT "PRIMA DONNA" IS "PRE-MADONNA". I MAY BE ILLITERATE.

Cole posted:

Post the general orders

# ? Jul 21, 2014 01:50

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

Anansi The Spider posted:

I've been gone on some other company's STT to learn PROPER STT ADMINISTRATION (rofl)

Also You use a CCO if you're hitting with an M4. If you use an M16 (Non 19D,11B/C, Tankers?) you qualify with Iron sights.

Also sometimes DSs will literally shoot 23/40 for the privates who can't shoot for poo poo. I had to shoot a 23/40 for one kid who blew almost 400 rounds in the span of a single day. Of course said kid shot an average of 5/40 to 9/40 as his highest record... But he has a 370 PT Score and can run a 9:45 2 mile, do 98 pushups in 2 minutes and like 90 sit ups so of course they treat him like the crowning loving jewel of the company. He also believed that an Option 40 in his contract meant he would become a Park Ranger so we're not dealing with the most intelligent of warriors and members of a team.

how do you score higher than 300 points on a pft :raise:

# ? Jul 21, 2014 02:56

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

how do you score higher than 300 points on a pft

the old extended scale

# ? Jul 21, 2014 03:12

Anansi The Spider: Jan 30, 2014; loved basic so much I decided to stay

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

how do you score higher than 300 points on a pft

It says 300 on the PT Score board, but the "extended" scale says he has a 370.

And these aren't exactly stories more like the loving daily report of tradoc life.

# ? Jul 21, 2014 03:42

its curtains for Kevin: Nov 14, 2011; Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless

As someone who was at Benning going through Basic less than a year ago, all of these stories are believable a f

# ? Jul 21, 2014 03:57

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

Anansi The Spider posted:

It says 300 on the PT Score board, but the "extended" scale says he has a 370.

And these aren't exactly stories more like the loving daily report of tradoc life.

There is no extended scale anymore.

# ? Jul 21, 2014 06:08

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

psydude posted:

There is no extended scale anymore.

not officially, but people still love bringing it up

# ? Jul 21, 2014 06:10

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

Cole posted:

Post the orders

# ? Jul 21, 2014 09:34

TPSDude: Apr 7, 2011; Tank Goon

psydude posted:

There is no extended scale anymore.

Doesn't stop people from still referencing it, my company used it to determine who would get air assault slot.

# ? Jul 21, 2014 15:27

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

if you think the chance to measure dicks in PT scores is going to be stopped by something silly like the extended scale supposedly not existing anymore. Dare you to try and find a first sergeant that doesn't still have a copy in his desk somewhere, and anybody above that probably has it tattooed on themselves somewhere.

# ? Jul 21, 2014 16:31

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

SumYungGui posted:

if you think the chance to measure dicks in PT scores is going to be stopped by something silly like the extended scale supposedly not existing anymore. Dare you to try and find a first sergeant that doesn't still have a copy in his desk somewhere, and anybody above that probably has it tattooed on themselves somewhere.

Well duh. But it's not an actual thing by regulation anymore. Some of my NCOs tried mentioning it in awards and I told them to replace it with just a 300, because it doesn't actually exist.

psydude fucked around with this message at 17:09 on Jul 21, 2014

# ? Jul 21, 2014 17:04

gleep gloop: Aug 16, 2005; GROSS SHIT

I thought the extended scale always didn't technically exist? Or was it already "removed" back in 07-10?

# ? Jul 21, 2014 19:29

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

I only ever saw the extended scale come into play during best soldier competitions.

# ? Jul 21, 2014 20:53

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

gleep gloop posted:

I thought the extended scale always didn't technically exist? Or was it already "removed" back in 07-10?

It was removed as of 2004 or so, iirc, but it was a legitimate thing.

# ? Jul 21, 2014 20:53

elite_garbage_man: Apr 3, 2010; I THINK THAT "PRIMA DONNA" IS "PRE-MADONNA". I MAY BE ILLITERATE.

new pft scale includes dick length and girth

# ? Jul 21, 2014 21:09

Anansi The Spider: Jan 30, 2014; loved basic so much I decided to stay

Pt score of 260 or above makes a soldier unchapterable in OSUT.

# ? Jul 21, 2014 21:33

OMFG PTSD LOL PBUH: Sep 9, 2001

Anansi The Spider posted:

Pt score of 260 or above makes a soldier unchapterable in OSUT.

Anansi, I can promise you an Aaron Sorkin written screenplay, and an appearance by Tom Cruise in the film adaptation of the story, if you can just find the memo for this.

# ? Jul 21, 2014 21:37

Anansi The Spider: Jan 30, 2014; loved basic so much I decided to stay

Obama Africanus posted:

Anansi, I can promise you an Aaron Sorkin written screenplay, and an appearance by Tom Cruise in the film adaptation of the story, if you can just find the memo for this.

TRADOC is a venerable and legitimate 7 army value following organization who would NEVER just pass soldiers along. Ever...ever

My movie adaptation will be called "An inconcievable truth

# ? Jul 21, 2014 21:51

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

I'd say it's pretty conceivable.

# ? Jul 21, 2014 21:53

gleep gloop: Aug 16, 2005; GROSS SHIT

Obama Africanus posted:

Anansi, I can promise you an Aaron Sorkin written screenplay, and an appearance by Tom Cruise in the film adaptation of the story, if you can just find the memo for this.

It's all anecdotal evidence but this was true in my experience. If you were fat and or weak in basic it didn't matter how good you were at anything else. No one actually failed for anything besides PT. Even though technically medical, written tests, marksmanship, and PT were things you were supposed to be recycled for, the only people who didn't make it were PT failures. Hell our honor grads and w/e the gently caress the other ones were called all had the highest PT scores, despite some of them failing other things.

Of course this wont be written down, but it at least WAS how things were done.

# ? Jul 21, 2014 22:22

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

gleep gloop posted:

It's all anecdotal evidence but this was true in my experience. If you were fat and or weak in basic it didn't matter how good you were at anything else. No one actually failed for anything besides PT. Even though technically medical, written tests, marksmanship, and PT were things you were supposed to be recycled for, the only people who didn't make it were PT failures. Hell our honor grads and w/e the gently caress the other ones were called all had the highest PT scores, despite some of them failing other things.

Of course this wont be written down, but it at least WAS how things were done.

Truth.

gently caress, even now we got a dude sitting on the promote to E5 list, and he's a pretty stellar gently caress up. Even turning up to formation so drunk that they couldn't let him drive home afterwards, and took him to the MP station and he blew a .12. But, he gets his 300 so he's still on the list, no real punishment.

Dreading the day he gets promoted, he's dumb as a bag of rocks. Sure does know to keep hitting the gym though, as that's all the army cares about.

# ? Jul 22, 2014 00:35

Justin Tyme: Feb 22, 2011

when I went through basic Literally Everyone passed, even the fatass weak butterballs that got like sub-100 on a PT test one day, then miraculously a 200 a day after at their own separate private PT test, what a miracle and they definitely improved a lot!!! the only people that got chaptered were the deathly and chronically ill and the mentally insane (stinky guy from West Virginia that probably weighed only 100 pounds)

they will pass anyone because paperwork is hard and shuffling people to the next poor sap is way easier. that's how the army is as a whole, fudge the paperwork and do the least amount of work possible. I guess they figured that being an infantryman is the easiest thing mentally and their companies would gently caress their world up enough that they'd end up alright after a few months, I imagine the poguey-pogue MOS basic would probably kick a lot more people out but then again see above

# ? Jul 22, 2014 04:39

Anansi The Spider: Jan 30, 2014; loved basic so much I decided to stay

Mr. Nice! posted:

I'd say it's pretty conceivable.

Truth is if you think that basic training actually trains you to do anything but sham out of duty, and be somewhat more disciplined than when you came in
you are literally a ROTC mindwash

also mr nice where is your delightful blue sheriff star, I miss your venerable leadership

# ? Jul 22, 2014 06:14

Carteret: Nov 10, 2012

Anansi The Spider posted:

Truth is if you think that basic training actually trains you to do anything but sham out of duty, and be somewhat more disciplined than when you came in
you are literally a ROTC mindwash

also mr nice where is your delightful blue sheriff star, I miss your venerable leadership

To be fair, you chose infantry. Any idiot can learn how to shot gun. Don't let your experience in "the army" shape any thing. There is still a shitload of incompetence, laziness, and butt fuckery, however. You just haven't seen it.

Never stop posting, Anansi! The day you stop posting is the day we all assume you did your duty and ended your lovely, miserable existence by fixing the huge mistake you made by enlisting. Do it in the tub: don't be a dick to the guys who have to clean up the mess.

# ? Jul 22, 2014 06:43

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

Carteret posted:

To be fair, you chose infantry.

The best part is that he supposedly had a viable civilian skillset and still chose a full-time career in the infantry.

# ? Jul 22, 2014 07:35

Fucitol: May 8, 2005; Ceterum autem censeo mundum esse delendam

Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris

you motherfuckers are reminding me why during the surge i was sitting in charge of nose-picking piles of sludge trying to figure out how their m4 was found in the same porto john for the fifth time in a week.

not that anyone was much better prior to dubya's half-cooked haraam hail mary, but goddamn was i drinking from the river of idiocy once the floodgates of recruiting opened in 2007.

Fucitol fucked around with this message at 16:04 on Jul 22, 2014

# ? Jul 22, 2014 13:11

Jarmak: Jan 24, 2005

not caring here posted:

Truth.

gently caress, even now we got a dude sitting on the promote to E5 list, and he's a pretty stellar gently caress up. Even turning up to formation so drunk that they couldn't let him drive home afterwards, and took him to the MP station and he blew a .12. But, he gets his 300 so he's still on the list, no real punishment.

Dreading the day he gets promoted, he's dumb as a bag of rocks. Sure does know to keep hitting the gym though, as that's all the army cares about.

On the flip side of this its really fun getting like 6 straight months of "you're excelling at every aspect of leadership but we can't promote you because you don't have a 270 PT score" counselings, including a no poo poo impact AAM for being the best TL in the company during a training rotation, and then watch them promote some 150lb moron whom was too weak to carry his own poo poo during said training rotation (guess who ended up carrying it) and absolutely no combat or leadership experience because he had a 300 PT score.

The best part was a major reason for my PT score only being in the 250s was I was injured as gently caress and me, my SL, and my PSG were all keeping it hidden so the CO wouldn't knock me off the deployment list.

# ? Jul 22, 2014 15:58

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

Jarmak posted:

On the flip side of this its really fun getting like 6 straight months of "you're excelling at every aspect of leadership but we can't promote you because you don't have a 270 PT score" counselings, including a no poo poo impact AAM for being the best TL in the company during a training rotation, and then watch them promote some 150lb moron whom was too weak to carry his own poo poo during said training rotation (guess who ended up carrying it) and absolutely no combat or leadership experience because he had a 300 PT score.

The best part was a major reason for my PT score only being in the 250s was I was injured as gently caress and me, my SL, and my PSG were all keeping it hidden so the CO wouldn't knock me off the deployment list.

I'm so tired of hearing about Office Space bullshit like this. If the Army wants the minimum to be 270, then they should make the loving minimum 270.

# ? Jul 22, 2014 16:17

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

psydude posted:

"I'm so tired of hearing about Office Space bullshit like this. If the Army wants the minimum to be 270, then they should make the loving minimum 270."
-All non-staff personnel E1-E5 & O1-O2

"270 is the battalion standard."
-Everybody else

# ? Jul 22, 2014 16:42

gleep gloop: Aug 16, 2005; GROSS SHIT

YOU CAN ADD TO BUT NOT TAKE AWAY

# ? Jul 22, 2014 17:05

Flying_Crab: Apr 12, 2002

http://www.armytimes.com/article/20140722/NEWS/307220052/Update-Sgt-mauled-by-bear-Alaska-stable-condition :stare:

quote:

Wendeborn, 26, crossed paths with a brown bear and her two cubs during a land navigation exercise at Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson. He made eye contact with the animal and immediately fell to the ground, playing dead, according to a Monday news release from the base. The bear �picked him up by the hip and tossed him,� the release states, also biting and swatting Wendeborn before wandering off.

Think he got a no-go?

# ? Jul 22, 2014 17:44

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

DoktorLoken posted:

http://www.armytimes.com/article/20140722/NEWS/307220052/Update-Sgt-mauled-by-bear-Alaska-stable-condition

Think he got a no-go?

Sounds like he did better than the kid who hung himself with his LBE during night land nav at LDAC.

# ? Jul 22, 2014 17:51

TPSDude: Apr 7, 2011; Tank Goon

DoktorLoken posted:

http://www.armytimes.com/article/20140722/NEWS/307220052/Update-Sgt-mauled-by-bear-Alaska-stable-condition

Just in time to become his units new schools NCO! At least he didn't dehydrate to death hidden 50 meters from a well traveled road.

Won my personal Normandy this morning, my maxing of the push-up is relative to the fucks given by the NCO grading them, which today was none given.
My Market Garden will be the spur ride I'm not eligible for, but on the list for anyway this Friday. :bahgawd:

They haven't even published the MOI for this thing, and are just throwing whoever into it. 1SGT then puts out later in the morning that the APFT scores today would be used for adding or dropping people from our spur ride. I've dodged two of these things and am now getting rail roaded into one with 6 months till ETS. gently caress the Army

# ? Jul 22, 2014 18:13

Full Battle Rattle: Aug 29, 2009; As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Sounds like he did better than the kid who hung himself with his LBE during night land nav at LDAC.

Or the guy on hood who just got lost and died. I think surviving a bear attack due to quick thinking is much preferable to dying because you don't know what a panic azimuth does.