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univbee
Jun 3, 2004




graybook posted:

Evidently here's some of the content, for anyone curious as to a sample:

Linking because of some of what's written.
:nws: http://i.imgur.com/V1ZG5G5.jpg :nws:

I'm not sure what I was expecting but "her menstrual fever made him more assiduous" wasn't among them. I'm also pretty sure assiduous is used wrong here, because that's absolutely at the top of the list of things to comment on for this book.

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Jamesman
Nov 19, 2004

"First off, let me start by saying curly light blond hair does not suit Hyomin at all. Furthermore,"
Fun Shoe




FinalGamer
Aug 30, 2012

So the mystic script says.

Len posted:

There's this racist tea party guy that runs an arcade near me and his hours are literally "if I'm here I'm open." He must be doing something right though because he's been open for a decade or so.

He's just a creepy racist who used to advertise tea party meetings.
Nice to know Sarah Palin's life turned out well :)

Elias_Maluco
Aug 23, 2007
I need to sleep

Follow up:

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



graybook posted:

Evidently here's some of the content, for anyone curious as to a sample:

Linking because of some of what's written.
:nws: http://i.imgur.com/V1ZG5G5.jpg :nws:

quote:

Black Bear Attacks, Rapes, Zookeeper

Grin and bear it! Barry, an 850 lb. black bear, got a little frisky
with zookeeper Ron Gilks. The anal rape is believed to be the first
inter-special coupling in Metro Zoo history.

Here's a little dog-bites-man tale we couldn't resist! Except
replace "dog" with "850-pound black bear"! And "bites" with "anally
violate"!

Yes, last Saturday a zookeeper at the Metropolitan Zoo had
"claws" for alarm when he was attacked and raped by the same black
bear he had raised from a cub! Geez, talk about gratitude!

"It was horrible, just horrible," sobbed an eyewitness. Guess
she sure got an eyeful!

The bear, named "Barry," attacked zookeeper Ron Gilks as Gilks
entered the cage to give him dinner. Barry lunged at his throat,
goring him with his huge claws and razor-sharp teeth. Some of the claw
marks were three-quarters of an inch deep. Ouch!

Then, astonished onlookers could "bearly" believe what happened
next--Barry began to brutally rape zookeeper Gilks!

Frantic zookeepers rushed for rifles as others tried to divert
the bear. But there was no stopping Barry! This bear kept "bearing
down," and Gilks just had to grin and "bear" it! Maybe Barry was
mistaking him for his "honey"!

Gilks was pronounced dead upon arrival at the hospital. A full quart
of bear semen was extracted from his ruptured chest cavity. And that's
no small Boo-Boo!

Barry's 27-inch phallus, armed with guard hairs as sharp as
red-hot needles, shot through Gilks' rectum, shattered his lower spine
and skewered his colon, causing his entire lower torso to "cave" in!
Yikes! Bet that wasn't the type of "cave" you had in mind when you
took up zookeeping, Mr. Gilks!

And can you imagine Gilks' surprise when Barry's putrid ursine
semen flooded his ruptured chest cavity? (By the way, Mr. Gilks,
whatever cologne you've been wearing, where can the public get some?)

Finally, zookeeper Eric Pulliam shot Barry with a tranquilizer
gun and pulled Gilks from the cage. The unconscious bear was later
destro. Hey, this "Yogi" made a major "Boo-Boo"!

"I have worked with dangerous animals before," zoo director Kate
Donegal said. "But never have I seen any animal sexually assault a
human being." "Barry"? Try "Scary"!

Meanwhile, Gilks was pronounced dead at an area hospital--but at
least he died grinning and bearing it! No doubt, this episode gives
new meaning to the term, "Do not feed the bears!"

razorrozar
Feb 21, 2012

by Cyrano4747
That was literally all the bear puns. There are no more bear puns that can ever be made. They used them all up.

Philippe
Aug 9, 2013

(she/her)
These puns are unbearable.

There. Now noone needs to continue.

Haruharuharuko
Mar 24, 2008

Yeah I lied; so what is the truth?

Lazy_Liberal
Sep 17, 2005

These stones are :sparkles: precious :sparkles:
Page 86 of the funny pictures thread is a dark place.

graybook
Oct 10, 2011

pinya~

Jesus, it's like a reddit comment thread wrote a news article.

cyberia
Jun 24, 2011

Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

I never knew until now how badly I needed a lucha libre colouring book. Does anyone know where I can buy this amazing product?

Liar Lyre
Jun 3, 2011

Here to deliver
~Bad Opinions~

cyberia posted:

I never knew until now how badly I needed a lucha libre colouring book. Does anyone know where I can buy this amazing product?

That's Rey Mysterio so it's just a normal WWE coloring book. Though I think you can get that kind of thing from Mexico.

Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax

Len posted:

There's this racist tea party guy that runs an arcade near me and his hours are literally "if I'm here I'm open." He must be doing something right though because he's been open for a decade or so.

He's just a creepy racist who used to advertise tea party meetings.

Hey man if it's an arcade you really can't be choosy in this point in time.

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




I'd put up with just about anything to play Virtual On in an arcade again :sigh:

Hihohe
Oct 4, 2008

Fuck you and the sun you live under


Len posted:

There's this racist tea party guy that runs an arcade near me and his hours are literally "if I'm here I'm open." He must be doing something right though because he's been open for a decade or so.

He's just a creepy racist who used to advertise tea party meetings.

I fricken hate this racist, but hes got sunset riders so what'r gonna do.

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!


Frostwerks posted:

Hey man if it's an arcade you really can't be choosy in this point in time.

The problem is he's never there when I'm driving by!

It's a "vinatage" arcade too so it's probably just got machines that are older than me in it.

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



graybook posted:

Jesus, it's like a reddit comment thread wrote a news article.

It's actually an onion article from 1996, the only one I know of that has been totally purged from their website.

fool of sound
Oct 10, 2012

Fandyien posted:

It's actually an onion article from 1996, the only one I know of that has been totally purged from their website.

Yet it's in one of their compilation books of their greatest hits.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless








POLICE CAR AUCTION
Dec 1, 2003

I'm not a princess







VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

What's funny about this? :confused:

kazil
Jul 24, 2005

Derpmph trial star reporter!

VendaGoat posted:

What's funny about this? :confused:

Someone hid a camera in a beer pouch

MrJacobs
Sep 15, 2008

VendaGoat posted:

What's funny about this? :confused:

Nothing. It's beautiful!

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




VendaGoat posted:

What's funny about this? :confused:

Beer instead of hard liquor, posers :frogout:

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle





The plan here is to go around pointing gun-shaped cameras at people? :stonklol:

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Angela Christine posted:

The plan here is to go around pointing gun-shaped cameras at people? :stonklol:

You would be amazed at how it sometimes gets the exact same response.

WastedJoker
Oct 29, 2011

Fiery the angels fell. Deep thunder rolled around their shoulders... burning with the fires of Orc.

Chard
Aug 24, 2010





hungry for crepes n shit
Aug 17, 2005



I loving hate Jaden Smith.

Erebus
Jul 13, 2001

Okay... Keep your head, Steve boy...

Liar Lyre posted:

That's Rey Mysterio so it's just a normal WWE coloring book. Though I think you can get that kind of thing from Mexico.

Color in your favorite stars like [REDACTED]

hungry for crepes n shit
Aug 17, 2005


Sharpe posted:

I loving hate Jaden Smith.

I forgot the funny pic.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Sharpe posted:

I forgot the funny pic.





Oh sure, you hate Jaden Smith but think a retarded kitten is hilarious? rear end in a top hat.

hungry for crepes n shit
Aug 17, 2005


Picnic Princess posted:

Oh sure, you hate Jaden Smith but think a retarded kitten is hilarious? rear end in a top hat.
That kitten may be retarded but at least he never instagrammed himself wearing a white batman costume at some mediawhore's wedding in Ireland.

Who's the rear end in a top hat now?

To stay on topic:

Lady Disdain
Jan 14, 2013


are you yet living?

Angela Christine posted:

The plan here is to go around pointing gun-shaped cameras at people? :stonklol:

Yep, someone did this a year or so ago; photographed people's reactions to thinking they're about to get shot. I tried googling for them, but no joy.

mrkillboy
May 13, 2003

"Something witty."
People having been trying to put rifle stocks on camera for a long time now.





Also

Silmarildur
Jan 30, 2005

Thats what I'm Tolkien about.
I didn't see my personal favorite, the Zenit Photosniper. Zenit was the main Soviet 35mm camera manufacturer, and made this lovely thing for the people's revolutionary bird watching guild and the KGB. I would love to have one, but I'd imagine walking around DC with one would be a great way to have some nice conversations with men with real guns.



Philippe
Aug 9, 2013

(she/her)
It's a camera blunderbuss!

Dodecalypse
Jun 21, 2012


SKA SUCKS

Sharpe posted:

That kitten may be retarded but at least he never instagrammed himself wearing a white batman costume at some mediawhore's wedding in Ireland.

Who's the rear end in a top hat now?

Uh, still you.

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veedubfreak
Apr 2, 2005

by Smythe

http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/ichwan-noor-beetle-sphere

That piece of "art" is 5 1953 cars :( Don't loving crush old cars, go find some super beatles you fuckface.

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