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I'm in the opposite situation as TrueChaos, where I was the virgin and she's the experienced one. We've attempted sex twice, and the first time went ok, but the second time I honestly couldn't keep my self hard long enough to get a condom on. The disjoint of having to put a condom on just completely takes me out of the mood. I hope I'm just nervous? She's really cool and understanding about it so I'm not super worried, but it's there in the back of my mind. I'm wondering what I can do to make the learning process move along more quickly other than just reading bunch of sex articles or books. I would like to practice with her because that's obviously the most fun way, but we're in a complicated situation where I can't see her that often (usually only once a week at the moment), and sometimes those meetings are in public or with friends.
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Jul 23, 2014 23:11
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It's nerves, I went through the same thing, as do a lot of guys. The main thing to do is forget about having some goal for sex, or that it has to end with or even involve PIV. Just have fun, worry free sexy times, and it'll come.
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Jul 23, 2014 23:23
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I was swimming in Lake Michigan this weekend and I don't know if I didn't wash well enough afterwards or what, but I got jock rot for the first time since I was 14. How do I get rid of that awful itch?
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Jul 23, 2014 23:28
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enthe0s posted:
Nerves. (But make sure your condom is the right size) If you wanna get less awkward faster, use a condom to jack off. Seriously. A mate of mine trained himself out of losing an erection every time he put one on by doing this; it helped him get used to the sensation. But honestly if you just don't sweat it and as hoobajoo sez, remember that it is not PIV-until-I-ejaculate-or-I-have-failed-at-sex, and you'll be good.
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Jul 23, 2014 23:53
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Are there any risks to going down on a girl with a minor upper UTI/bladder infection? I'm a dude, if that matters.The Door Frame posted:I was swimming in Lake Michigan this weekend and I don't know if I didn't wash well enough afterwards or what, but I got jock rot for the first time since I was 14. How do I get rid of that awful itch? If you're referring to jock itch, then a topical OTC antifungal should make short work of it. I'm pretty sure they make crotch-specific stuff for dudes but I don't know for sure since I haven't had jock itch since middle school.
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Jul 24, 2014 00:12
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Electric Bugaloo posted:Are there any risks to going down on a girl with a minor upper UTI/bladder infection? I'm a dude, if that matters. I don't know if it's risky for you, but it might not be such a great thing for her until things get a little more settled down there. Especially if she's taking antibiotics for it, which makes it really easy to get stuff like yeast infections. But I'm not an expert, her doctor might be better able to advise.
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Jul 24, 2014 00:38
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Kimmalah posted:I don't know if it's risky for you, but it might not be such a great thing for her until things get a little more settled down there. Especially if she's taking antibiotics for it, which makes it really easy to get stuff like yeast infections. But I'm not an expert, her doctor might be better able to advise. What about manual stimulation (I promise I'll keep my hands super clean)? The girlfriend's been having a really poo poo week work-wise and sex has historically been the best way to take the edge off for her. Penetrative sex is also a no-go right now on account of the aforementioned illness so I'm running down the list of things that are safe.
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Jul 24, 2014 02:11
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enthe0s posted:I'm in the opposite situation as TrueChaos, where I was the virgin and she's the experienced one. We've attempted sex twice, and the first time went ok, but the second time I honestly couldn't keep my self hard long enough to get a condom on. The disjoint of having to put a condom on just completely takes me out of the mood. I hope I'm just nervous? She's really cool and understanding about it so I'm not super worried, but it's there in the back of my mind. In addition to what everyone is saying, if you don't do any kind of physical exercise, this is the perfect incentive to start! On top of that, I've found that supplementing with L-Arginine + Pycnogenol to work really well in those kinds of situations as well. I'm willing to bet your situation is 95%+ psychological, but doing things to help the physical end can be super helpful as well. Also in regards to jock itch, it's usually either fungal or bacterial. If OTC anti-fungal cream doesn't help out, go see your PCP and get some topical antibacterial cream to help you out, it'll clear that itch in a week.
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Jul 24, 2014 06:38
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Kimmalah posted:I don't know if it's risky for you, but it might not be such a great thing for her until things get a little more settled down there. Especially if she's taking antibiotics for it, which makes it really easy to get stuff like yeast infections. But I'm not an expert, her doctor might be better able to advise. Oral actually feels quite good when I have a UTI (when I'm already taking care of it with antibiotics) - it kind of soothes the irritated feeling you have in that region. But I don't get yeast infections easily so someone else may not be so lucky.
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Jul 24, 2014 08:46
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Electric Bugaloo posted:Are there any risks to going down on a girl with a minor upper UTI/bladder infection? I'm a dude, if that matters. Besides a bad taste and the possibility of introducing microbes into the area, I wouldn't be too worried if she showers after and your mouth is relatively clean quote:If you're referring to jock itch, then a topical OTC antifungal should make short work of it. I'm pretty sure they make crotch-specific stuff for dudes but I don't know for sure since I haven't had jock itch since middle school. Yeah, me either, and the last time I cleared it up, I was dumb enough to rub my sack with isopropyl every time I showered for a week and that is a profoundly bad feeling I don't want to have again. Heading to the pharmacy
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Jul 24, 2014 15:02
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Electric Bugaloo posted:What about manual stimulation (I promise I'll keep my hands super clean)? The girlfriend's been having a really poo poo week work-wise and sex has historically been the best way to take the edge off for her. Penetrative sex is also a no-go right now on account of the aforementioned illness so I'm running down the list of things that are safe. Butt stuff.
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Jul 24, 2014 18:02
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Cat Army
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If the problem is bacteria in her junk, the answer is not butt stuff. I would ask her what she wants to do. I think as long as you both wash up beforehand and she washes/pees after, it would be fine. Or she could always call her doctor; it's not even going to register as a weird question.
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Jul 24, 2014 18:25
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i like nice words
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The Door Frame posted:Yeah, me either, and the last time I cleared it up, I was dumb enough to rub my sack with isopropyl every time I showered for a week and that is a profoundly bad feeling I don't want to have again. Heading to the pharmacy I'm fairly certain they make over the counter stuff for guys, but if not you're still basically dealing with a fungal infection and the yeast infection treatments for women will work (obviously the creams, not the vaginal inserts and stuff). Stuff for athlete's foot will also work if you don't feel manly buying Monistat, just make sure it's safe for your junk first.  Basically anything like miconazole, clotrimazole, etc. etc. MightyJoe36 posted:Butt stuff. Probably not a great idea if she's got an infection. Lube goes everywhere no matter how careful you are and it'll be full of the bacteria that probably caused the UTI in the first place.
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Jul 24, 2014 18:32
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Tinactin spray is the preferred jock itch treatment of dudes I know well enough for them to tell me about their jock itch.
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Jul 24, 2014 19:02
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enthe0s posted:I'm in the opposite situation as TrueChaos, where I was the virgin and she's the experienced one. We've attempted sex twice, and the first time went ok, but the second time I honestly couldn't keep my self hard long enough to get a condom on. The disjoint of having to put a condom on just completely takes me out of the mood. I hope I'm just nervous? She's really cool and understanding about it so I'm not super worried, but it's there in the back of my mind. Easy answer, I had the problem too so I feel for you and this worked for me instantly back when I wore condoms: Have her put it on you. Problem solved. Seriously don't read poo poo or you're gonna make yourself more nervous. This is the only thing that worked for me. I repeat, Have her put it on you. I have no idea why this isn't everyone's first answer. Instead of you having to pause sexy time, sit on the edge of the bed, struggle to open a package, figure out which side is up, look at your dick, and then awkwardly put a bag on your nervous dick all while worrying and hoping it's gonna stay hard this time. You've got a chick staring intently and hungrily at your dick and gently massaging the ring of the condom down your shaft with her hands so she can get hosed by it. Which sounds more boner/mood preserving? You're welcome in advance bro. Bum the Sad fucked around with this message at 22:27 on Jul 24, 2014 |
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Jul 24, 2014 22:16
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Bum the Sad posted:You've got a chick staring intently and hungrily at your dick and gently massaging the ring of the condom down your shaft with her hands so she can get hosed by it. God drat it we really need an extension on thread title character length.
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Jul 25, 2014 02:10
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Hahahaha thank you I tried.
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Jul 25, 2014 02:59
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Could just highlight the best parts. Sex Questions Megathread III: Hungrily massaging your shaft
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Jul 25, 2014 10:27
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Thanks for the replies all. Good to know that all I need to do is basically chill the gently caress out and have her put it on me. Seems easy enough 
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Jul 25, 2014 14:29
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enthe0s posted:Thanks for the replies all. Good to know that all I need to do is basically chill the gently caress out and have her put it on me. Seems easy enough Like the other poster mentioned, it might also help just practicing when you're on you're own and masturbating. That way there's no pressure to perform and you can get used to the feeling.
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Jul 25, 2014 17:06
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I'm looking for the best water based lube for sensitive skin. Currently using sliquid Organics and it irritates my wife so we need something else. Suggestions?
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Jul 26, 2014 16:11
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Jewce posted:I'm looking for the best water based lube for sensitive skin. Currently using sliquid Organics and it irritates my wife so we need something else. My wife has an incredibly sensitive vagina and back when we were still using water based she finally settled on Babeland's Babelube.
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Jul 27, 2014 01:57
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Me and my partner are both really into giving oral. She likes receiving from me, but I really don't enjoy it when she blows me. She tends to use more teeth than strictly necessary and the choking noise grosses me out more than turns me on. Open and honest communication is key here, but I'm really bad at positive criticism. How do I suggest that she blow me better without sounding like an unappreciative rear end in a top hat? Or maybe it's me? I have never enjoyed any BJ I've ever had.
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Jul 27, 2014 07:14
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Grand Prize Winner posted:Me and my partner are both really into giving oral. She likes receiving from me, but I really don't enjoy it when she blows me. She tends to use more teeth than strictly necessary and the choking noise grosses me out more than turns me on. Open and honest communication is key here, but I'm really bad at positive criticism. How do I suggest that she blow me better without sounding like an unappreciative rear end in a top hat? Just tell her your not into deepthroating? I assume that's what you're doing, since I don't know where else the choking noises would come from.
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Jul 27, 2014 07:23
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It might be you. Phrase it as if it's you whether it is or not. Tell her your penis is weird sometimes with oral and ask if she would be ok with you suggesting/trying some things together to make it work better for you. So, address the teeth thing. The gagging noise is simple; don't go so deep, maybe see if she can do the thing where you wrap a hand around the base so half your dick gets a blowjob and half gets a handjob. And also just experiment and explore stuff while communicating a lot with each other. Buut, you might just not like blowjobs. And that's ok. If that's the case, you can make the choice as to whether you don't do blowjobs, or whether you do them sometimes because she likes giving them. Both choices are ok.
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Jul 27, 2014 07:29
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If you've never enjoyed any blowjob ever, presumably from multiple people, it isn't a problem with your girlfriend. Some guys just aren't that into the feel. Some guys have dimensions that make it not super fun (which might be your problem if everyone is toothy). It's okay, it's fine to prefer loving or whatever. The gagging is likely something she picked up from porn, or was told to do by guys who picked it up from porn. If you want it to stop, frame it as concern for her, which is also pretty legit since, you know, she's gagging. "I've noticed when you go down on me, you seem to be gagging a lot. That can't be fun, and it sounds scary to me -- please don't do it for my sake" or whatever. In general, you could talk about more teasing and less facefucking. It sounds like if she did more of the fun stuff and less of the "come now" violent in-and-out, that would solve the gagging and the toothiness, plus it might be more fun for you.
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Jul 27, 2014 07:38
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enthe0s posted:Thanks for the replies all. Good to know that all I need to do is basically chill the gently caress out and have her put it on me. Seems easy enough Also my college roommate claimed she knew how to (properly) apply a condom ... with her mouth. That sounds quite advanced to me but I imagine it surely helped out the mood! loki k zen posted:It might be you. The gagging sound is a porn thing. To me it sounds like a dying duck or something, totally unsexy. Vocal sounds during blowjobs are unnatural, the girlfriend probably saw it in porn and figured that's how it's done but it's totally unnecessary. To me, vocalizations during blowjobs should be limited to "mmmmmm!" Also if it's really a size issue then you're right, hands are awesome. You (er, now I mean the blowjob giver) can be holding the base and give the illusion of a genuine deepthroat when really it's much less penetration - the action of smashing your head into your hand seems to be as psychologically satisfying for the man as your mouth actually reaching the base, and all without getting your tonsils mashed. If you can deepthroat then hell yeah, go hog wild, but if not, then holding the base while sucking is infinitely more sustainable - after all, the tip of the penis is much more sensitive than the shaft anyway. And keeping that in mind, if you have the coordination, another good move is flicking your tongue around the head every time it hits the deepest point in your mouth. And teeth are a bad thing. Occasional incidental scraping is normal, but penises are sensitive, you (now I mean blowjob receiver) have got to tell her that it hurts and you'd like it better if she try and keep her lips over her teeth. It's all just a matter of practice. She is hopefully turned on by blowjobs - if not, then situate her so you can finger her while she's blowing you (such as her kneeling next to you on a couch or something as opposed to her kneeling in front of you). Anne Whateley posted:In general, you could talk about more teasing and less facefucking. It sounds like if she did more of the fun stuff and less of the "come now" violent in-and-out, that would solve the gagging and the toothiness, plus it might be more fun for you. 
Ottoman fucked around with this message at 08:06 on Jul 27, 2014 |
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Jul 27, 2014 07:59
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Ottoman posted:
This is good and a fun thing to do, but if she's trying to change things up a lot and take feedback from him, fingering could just really break her concentration. I know for me I usually have to just stop the blowjob altogether because after a certain point I can't focus enough to enjoy the feeling and also keep things from turning into a toothy nightmare for him. As for the original poster, yes it could be you but I don't see anything wrong with (gentle!) suggestions about how to do some things differently. Even you were a huge fan of receiving oral, what you describe doesn't sound all that fun and it's not surprising to me that you're not enjoying it much.
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Jul 27, 2014 17:53
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Hello sex thread! I have trouble orgasming but it's only with my partner of three years. (Nearly all of my orgasms by myself are hands-free or anally.) I'm a trans guy so I don't really enjoy vaginal sex of any stripe but I do enjoy anal. I've gotten close to coming with him loving my rear end-the closest was this past week when we did bareback for the first time. I'm also on a couple of psych meds (lexapro and seroquel) but I tend to skip the lexapro when we see each other. Any tips to help me come? It's something I would like to do with him. I can get very close there's just some hurdle blocking me. (I also do tend to ah squirt when I come, which honestly is probably contributing to this but I can't exactly turn that off.)
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Jul 28, 2014 04:08
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dovetaile posted:(Nearly all of my orgasms by myself are hands-free or anally.) I'm not quite understanding this part. What DO you do when you orgasm on your own, and what do you mean by "hands-free? Regardless of whatever way you do it, why don't you masturbate in front of him and show him what makes you cum, then have him try it? Then work up from there?
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Jul 28, 2014 05:43
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Why not lend a hand yourself while he's taking you up the rear end? That way you have the best parts of sex and masturbation combined.
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Jul 28, 2014 07:54
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dovetaile posted:Hello sex thread! Have you cum anally with other dudes? Cause the squirting could be causing a mental block. Have you and he experimented with different positions? It could be that his dong is missing what you're able to hit, and different positions could reach it. The best advice I can give is that Trans Megathread would, obviously, have a much higher percentage of goons able to answer your specific question.
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Jul 28, 2014 09:34
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Rotten Red Rod posted:I'm not quite understanding this part. What DO you do when you orgasm on your own, and what do you mean by "hands-free? When I'm by myself it's mostly mental stimulation (porn or just fantasies) i.e.: I don't touch myself down there. BirdOfPlay posted:Have you cum anally with other dudes? Cause the squirting could be causing a mental block. He's my first sexual partner. We've done standing and me riding him. Yeah, I guess I could try the Trans megathread too.
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Jul 28, 2014 16:47
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Grand Prize Winner posted:Me and my partner are both really into giving oral. She likes receiving from me, but I really don't enjoy it when she blows me. She tends to use more teeth than strictly necessary and the choking noise grosses me out more than turns me on. Open and honest communication is key here, but I'm really bad at positive criticism. How do I suggest that she blow me better without sounding like an unappreciative rear end in a top hat? What's wrong with "ow. Please watch the teeth"? e: dovetaile posted:Hello sex thread! quote:MY VAGINA IS PART OF ME Hydrolith fucked around with this message at 01:15 on Jul 29, 2014 |
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Jul 28, 2014 22:10
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The trans dudes I know well enough to talk about this stuff with are all about the clitcock/cockclit/whatever their pet name for it is. But that's them, so take that for what it's worth. Anyway, without a prostate, you're likely to need more pressure to come from anal, so you being face down rear end up is probably the optimal position.
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Jul 29, 2014 00:57
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dovetaile posted:He's my first sexual partner. We've done standing and me riding him. Yeah, I guess I could try the Trans megathread too. Well, in that case, do both or either of these positions work the same as what you do anally by yourself? Assuming you're using a toy, it could be that his bend isn't working right in those positions. For an example he bends up, and you feel the best when pushing up to one of your sides. Obviously, standing nor riding him would work. In this case, you could try laying on your side and having him enter from on top. Of course, you could do that anyways, cause different positions are fun. Just make sure everything's lined up.
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Jul 29, 2014 01:42
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BirdOfPlay posted:Well, in that case, do both or either of these positions work the same as what you do anally by yourself? Assuming you're using a toy, it could be that his bend isn't working right in those positions. For an example he bends up, and you feel the best when pushing up to one of your sides. Obviously, standing nor riding him would work. In this case, you could try laying on your side and having him enter from on top. I've done standing up and laying down with a dildo and I actually prefer laying down so we can try that!
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Jul 29, 2014 03:33
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dovetaile posted:I've done standing up and laying down with a dildo and I actually prefer laying down so we can try that! Doggy style while you rub your clitdick on the bed or get a handy.
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Jul 29, 2014 04:02
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Hydrolith posted:What's wrong with "ow. Please watch the teeth"? Judging from some responses to questions like this I've seen, a lot of people apparently think the world will end if you make any kind of request or offer feedback about what you like/don't like sexually. Even something as straightforward as "I don't like teeth on my dick."
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Jul 29, 2014 15:31
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AlbieQuirky posted:The trans dudes I know well enough to talk about this stuff with are all about the clitcock/cockclit/whatever their pet name for it is. But that's them, so take that for what it's worth. This is more or less what I was getting at. Most cis vagina-havers can't come without clitoral stimulation, even during vaginal penetration. I haven't seen stats on anal penetration, though I can't imagine the numbers would be much higher.
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Jul 29, 2014 18:10
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