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ChiaPetOutletStore posted:That dad either takes incredibly long sips,or doesn't know how to pace himself. He gotta get that epiglottis checked man that could be serious
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Jul 26, 2014 17:30
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I think we get to bent up in calling poo poo out here and being all negative too. So here's some funny poo poo that didn't happen in the form of a "Green text" story.Person from a certain image board posted:>Browsing in gamestop I checked the OP, it didn't say anything about Green text stories but, if it's not cool to post here I'll take it down
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Jul 27, 2014 07:49
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That story is true, Sonic Generations is really good
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Jul 27, 2014 08:03
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Zelder posted:That story is true, Sonic Generations is really good 
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Jul 27, 2014 08:05
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Would have been better if the running person said "Gotta go fast."
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Jul 27, 2014 15:18
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There was once a man who flew all around the world on the back of a gyrofalcon. Gyrofalcons make for interesting vehicles because you can gently caress them in the rear end as you torpedo over mountain tops tasting the air. Anyway, along the way on my flight there was a big rear end bird (btw it was me flying around the world) and he called himself a yellow dafodil. I took the reigns of my gyrofalcon and aimed for the big fucker's heart. I flew into him and his heart was pierced on my dick (I always lead dick-first when assaulting pedestrians, this bird was walking up one of those big rear end staircases infront of a Tibetan Buddhist temple.) The exit wound was horrific but I didn't look back, I saw it because I flew around for another strike and got that big yellow bird right in the back of the head. There was a planet-sized looking eyeball overhead that the Buddhist menace had been summoning through their hours and hours of 'Om' meditation. So a bunch of tiny caterpillars were crawling out of the big dilated pupil of this eyeball. I took out my cellphone and called Aristotle and asked him, 'what sort of logic is this?' but he had no answer before the call was dropped, "out of service". loving T-Mobile. My idiot gyrofalcon started doing the whirling or swirling or whatever where they make a vortex in the air. It saw a swordfish and I guess it thought if it could help me get to Atlantis (The swordfish was guarding the city's north gate), I would meet a queen dressed in gold and ask her for the secret of life. Problem is that giant eyeball's caterpillars were also bloodsuckers and my Gyrofalcon entered into the Ocean's depths, having easily evaded the Swordfish, with only half of his bloodsupply left. So there wasn't as much oxygen in his blood as we all hoped for and instead of taking me to Atlantis we had to pull over and drink some bubbles from a passing whale. The high carbon dioxide content of the whale's exhalation instantly killed my intercontinental gyrofalcon vehicle and I had to swim ashore. That loving eyeball is hovering over the Himalayan's in Nepal right this very moment, plotting. Best Regards, RG
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Jul 27, 2014 18:01
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To be fair, if this was written down in NAR form, we'd dismiss this as STDH pretty quickly... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJye229QbVs VV Is it? I don't actually know I was just sent it by a friend and immediately thought of this thread. NtotheTC has a new favorite as of 19:00 on Jul 27, 2014 |
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Jul 27, 2014 18:54
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NtotheTC posted:To be fair, if this was written down in NAR form, we'd dismiss this as STDH pretty quickly... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJye229QbVs I thought that was a redubbed silent video/
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Jul 27, 2014 18:59
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Facepalm Ranger posted:I think we get to bent up in calling poo poo out here and being all negative too. So here's some funny poo poo that didn't happen in the form of a "Green text" story. And that man was... CWC. (I can see CWC doing this and it being poo poo that DID happen)
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Jul 27, 2014 19:36
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Tunicate posted:I thought that was a redubbed silent video/ It is http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/evidence/mcnuggets-rage-caught-tape
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Jul 27, 2014 19:38
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 Tell me more about how your special snowflake is the specialest  e: Also this:  Two sexual assaults make a right, right? razorrozar has a new favorite as of 14:42 on Jul 28, 2014 |
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Jul 28, 2014 14:39
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razorrozar posted:
You can even see them both reflected in the tap. Totally legit.
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Jul 28, 2014 14:50
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Paladinus posted:You can even see them both reflected in the tap. Totally legit. I believe it's legit, because she taught her 5-year old son how to do it, so now, that is how her 5-year old son fills a water bottle.
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Jul 28, 2014 15:20
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Paladinus posted:You can even see them both reflected in the tap. Totally legit. It makes kid-sense, really. "Mommy, is this side the bottle-pouring side?" "What do you mean" and then that whole thing ensues. Like, no, he doesn't do it every time he fills a water bottle, he coulda just done it the one time because he interpreted the handle of the thing as "The long pour-ey side" Yeah it does smack of MY AMAZING CHILD  but as far as the kid themself coming up with it, not totally stiddy.
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Jul 28, 2014 15:22
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sweeperbravo posted:It makes kid-sense, really. "Mommy, is this side the bottle-pouring side?" "What do you mean" and then that whole thing ensues. Even if the kid DID come up with it... it's dumb. The measuring cup has a spout on the other side specifically for pouring stuff into small containers. It's like one of those lifehacks that waste time to do a shoddy job so you don't have to work a little harder and do it right. Also it wastes water, though admittedly not much.
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Jul 28, 2014 15:26
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Plus that spigot swivels, so they could just fill the bottle straight out of the tap.
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Jul 28, 2014 15:39
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The real stdh part here is that a five-year-old wouldn't be able to reach all the way to turn the water on.
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Jul 28, 2014 15:43
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Paladinus posted:The real stdh part here is that a five-year-old wouldn't be able to reach all the way to turn the water on. One of my earliest memories (I must have been 4, I think) is standing on a chair and desperately trying to reach the faucet. My arms were too short 
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Jul 28, 2014 16:52
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razorrozar posted:Even if the kid DID come up with it... it's dumb. The measuring cup has a spout on the other side specifically for pouring stuff into small containers. It's like one of those lifehacks that waste time to do a shoddy job so you don't have to work a little harder and do it right. No, yeah, it's definitley dumb, I wasn't trying to defend it as a cool life hack (partly because i hate that meme anyway). But what I'm saying is it's dumb in the way kids come up with dumb things because they think they've figured out the reason why something is a certain way. Like yeah there's the spout on the side, but then what's this side for? Why's it open like that? If it's a handle, why isn't it solid, like the handles on most other cup-things? Paladinus posted:The real stdh part here is that a five-year-old wouldn't be able to reach all the way to turn the water on. " I know it's just a dumb memetic post, I'm just saying the kid coming up with that part is actually fairly believable if you've spent any time around kids that age.
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Jul 28, 2014 17:22
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sweeperbravo posted:
Fair point. Alright, we'll call this one plausible instead of busted.
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Jul 28, 2014 17:24
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Every time someone here abbreviates Not Always Right as "NAR", I read it as "Not Actually Real". Am I the only one?
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Jul 28, 2014 17:35
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razorrozar posted:Fair point. Alright, we'll call this one plausible instead of busted. And I promise not to be a pedant about things in the STDH thread in the future since it's not funny or good to do that. Stalin McHitler posted:Every time someone here abbreviates Not Always Right as "NAR", I read it as "Not Actually Real". Am I the only one? Sometimes I process it as "Not Always Retarded" but then my mind immediately responds "Yes, it is."
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Jul 28, 2014 17:44
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 Probably been seen, but this cropped up on my Facey wall with people actually believing it. What I want to know is, on what planet do people have pictures of Reagan framed on their wall? Like, is that a thing, framing pictures of your favourite president and hanging them up?
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Jul 29, 2014 01:39
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MinistryofLard posted:
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Jul 29, 2014 07:36
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Pussy tale.quote:Has A Cat’s Chance In Hell Of Adopting
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Jul 29, 2014 07:55
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Elysiume posted:For anyone who doesn't want to copy/paste that warcrime of a URL: I don't really understand what happened here. On a related note when I was young I worked at a dominoes where we gave free pizza to any cops. I think it was supposed to be sort of a bribe so they wouldn't hassle drivers making questionable traffic decisions. Then I worked 3rd shift at a gas station and cops got drinks for free. Basically I assume cops get free poo poo everywhere.
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Jul 29, 2014 08:19
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razorrozar posted:
Gay Avenger is a lame name. They should have at least gone with Dick Fury.
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Jul 29, 2014 08:21
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Elysiume posted:For anyone who doesn't want to copy/paste that warcrime of a URL: Why the hell would you report some douche who made a poo poo out of himself in response to a gay kiss to the cops unless you wanted to feed his "HOMO-NAZI POLICE STATE INDOCTRINATING OUR CHILDREN AND DESTROYING AMERICA  " complex 
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Jul 29, 2014 08:34
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Gen. Ripper posted:Why the hell would you report some douche who made a poo poo out of himself in response to a gay kiss to the cops unless you wanted to feed his "HOMO-NAZI POLICE STATE INDOCTRINATING OUR CHILDREN AND DESTROYING AMERICA Do you need a reason in addition to the fact that he ate a meal at a restaurant and then did not pay for it?
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Jul 29, 2014 08:44
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Elysiume posted:For anyone who doesn't want to copy/paste that warcrime of a URL: A photo of Reagan is a nice touch. Do people really do this in America? Also, why couldn't the wife pay?
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Jul 29, 2014 09:39
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phosdex posted:I don't really understand what happened here. On a related note when I was young I worked at a dominoes where we gave free pizza to any cops. I think it was supposed to be sort of a bribe so they wouldn't hassle drivers making questionable traffic decisions. Then I worked 3rd shift at a gas station and cops got drinks for free. Basically I assume cops get free poo poo everywhere. The common thinking is that it encourages cops to hang around your business which, to people outside D&D, is seen as a good thing. It's banned in some jurisdiction, for obvious reasons. It probably still goes on.
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Jul 29, 2014 13:34
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FrozenVent posted:to people outside D&D, And TFR And GiP And AI
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Jul 29, 2014 13:58
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Paladinus posted:A photo of Reagan is a nice touch. Do people really do this in America? At least have a picture of the Pope. The owner's Italian, for Christ's sake, it writes itself
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Jul 29, 2014 16:46
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Centripetal Horse posted:Do you need a reason in addition to the fact that he ate a meal at a restaurant and then did not pay for it? The story is so poorly written, though, that we don't know if the manager tossed them out without even giving them the chance to pay, or if they even got their food before being thrown out. Content: obvious troll on legal advice forum but most people still gave him serious responses posted:Ok so ive been seeing this girl i met on kik and shes been coming over and hanging with me and whatever. well recently she came over and we started like pokin eachother and stuff and that led to play wrestling (yea i know its dumb and childish but we were just goofin around) anyways she ends up kneeing me right in the jaw and at this point she stops and is like "HOLY poo poo IM SO SORRY" idk if it was the adrenaline or what but without thinkin i held her down and sat right on her face covering her mouth. at this point shes screaming "I CANT BREATHE I CANT BREATH" and i say "BREATHE THIS" so i let out a huge fart in her mouth and shes scramblin. at this point i get up and i realize what i had done and im speechless. she was screaming and coughing and she ran out of my apartment. anyways now shes sending me messages saying shes pressing charges and im really worried i just wanted to know how this looks for me?
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Jul 29, 2014 18:56
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Habeas fartus
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Jul 29, 2014 19:01
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Seventh Arrow posted:Habeas fartus Toot Law
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Jul 29, 2014 19:17
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Law and Odor
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Jul 30, 2014 00:50
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Khazar-khum posted:Pussy tale. I hate to say it, but I work at a pet rescue and I've witnessed very similar events over the years... I wish this was stdh but people are dishonest pricks and will say anything just to get a cute kitten or puppy.
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Jul 30, 2014 01:20
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fistful of hammers posted:I hate to say it, but I work at a pet rescue and I've witnessed very similar events over the years... I wish this was stdh but people are dishonest pricks and will say anything just to get a cute kitten or puppy. Yeah, I can confirm that too. My wife works at a Humane Society and she's told me fairly similar stories, although there are more about people trying to unlawfully pawn off their own animals than there are about people trying to adopt them. The shelter she works at is often overfull, so they don't usually take in animals that already have an owner. Cue a lot of: "Hey, I'm moving and I can't take my dog to the new place. Take it." "We're full at the moment, so we're only accepting strays." "Yeah, I found it on the side of the road then. Whatever." "No, you just said..." "FINE I GUESS I'LL JUST LEAVE IT ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD." "That's abandonment and is illegal." "GRAAHAHERRRRAAAARARAAAA, etc." You can fill in the rest of that encounter for yourself. Happens all the time.
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Jul 30, 2014 04:24
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Dis posted:Yeah, I can confirm that too. My wife works at a Humane Society and she's told me fairly similar stories, although there are more about people trying to unlawfully pawn off their own animals than there are about people trying to adopt them. The shelter she works at is often overfull, so they don't usually take in animals that already have an owner. Cue a lot of: Don't give up now! You're one bon mot away from being able to post this on NAR.
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