euroboy posted:

youve heart my feelings Earthy Ape Unit, whoever you are

Brony Car posted:

quote:

He's quite content. He has just bought Sanchez, Ospina, Chambers and Debuchy. They are all dangling about in their bags, as he skips his way down past the shops. Humming, he passes a shop, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees something in the window of a toy store. There is still some of his allowance left in his pocket. Money he was promised if he was a good boy and watched the stadium for 7 years. In the display window is a brand new French model. A Pogba. Arsène drops his jaw. The resemblance to an old toy of his is striking. A toy he remembers with joy. Some years ago, Arsène had had a toy named Vieira. It never broke, even when it got tossed around and it got muddy. This one looks just like it.

He HAS to enter the store. The clerk approaches him. Arsène doesn't know what to say, but manages to nod in the direction of the display. The clerk smiles, fully-knowing the impact the new model has on collectors. "The Pogba, huh? She is a beaut. Just came in from Turin. Made in France, assembled in Manchester, and the last finish was given in Italy. Just came back from testing in Brazil, they say it can withstand Honduran-rough-tacklers."

Arsène is unsure about what to say, but he knows what he heard: It was made in France, just like so many of his other collectibles. He checks the tag. 21 years. This is the time to add it to his collection. The only problem is the price, it would take all his hard-earned money, and maybe some more to buy it. Maintaining it wouldn't be cheap either. He knows that Ivan said to buy an experienced player. Said that he could buy a Khedira or a Schneiderlin, even that the Khedira was the best in the world. Said that Arsène had too many like this one anyways, and that those he had would be enough. That those were the ones who would fit the holes in his collection. Arsène knows this. But Ivan doesn't understand toys. Arsène had promised that after the new Chambers, he would only buy proven toys. But the Pogba is so nice.

"You know Alex, the collector from up North? He used to own this particular one. But he didn't play with it. One day, a rich man from Italy, passing through Manchester, saw it and said that it was too nice just to sit on a shelf. It has been there for two years, but I think it's too nice for Italians. They never know how to properly use them." The clerk talks as if he has affection for this particular toy. Arsène has heard of Alex. Alex knew toys like noone. If this had been his, it surely must be a good toy. Arsène knows he shouldn't, but he also knows that there is no way he can leave the shop without the Pogba. It is made for him. Noone else. Noone knows french toys like he does, and this is the finest one on the market. Even if this means that he can't buy new toys for another seven years. Even if Ivan tells him to move out. Even if the Pogba doesn't fit in his collection. He has made up his mind. He has to have it.

not not luvd posted:

OK I'm going to post this up before I go to bed (already 04.00 here) ! Chew on this for a bit :

NOTE : I WROTE THIS BEFORE REMY FAILED HIS MEDICAL SO SUBSTITUTE ANOTHER STRIKER AT WILL (because for sure there will be at least one).

_____________

Where are Liverpool's goals going to come from next season now that Suarez has gone to Barca. This may be a little pre-emptive with, I'm sure, a few transfers to come but .....

Looking at our likely squad for 2014/15 (I expect another MF or Forward so I've added A.N.Other) I can see us scoring at least 111 goals against 117 goals with Suarez in 2013/14.**

We achieve this by spreading the scoring responsibility across the team rather than having it concentrated in 3 players (Suarez, Sturridge and Gerrard = 71 goals) and maintain our Goal Difference by improved defensive solidity.

**This is based on the same number of games as 2013/14 - I expect possibly another 10 games this coming season and so would need to adjust the goals scored per player accordingly (depending on the number of matches they play vs 2013/14).

Sturridge 21 (2013/14 : 25)
Sterling 15 (13)
Remy 13 (14 for Newcastle in 27 games)
Gerrard 10 (15)
Lallana 8 (10 for Southampton in 39 games)
Lambert 7 (14 for Southampton in 38 games)
Coutinho 8 (5)
Henderson 7 (6)
A.N.Other 5 (TBC)
Markovic 3 (1 for Benfica in 13 games)
Skrtel 3 (7)
Sakho 3 (1)
Can 2 (4 for Leverkusen in 39 games)
Lovren 2 (2 for Southampton in 31 games)
Allen 1 (2)
Johnson 1 (0)
Enrique 1 (0)

Other Scorers in 2013/14
Suarez 31
Aspas 5
Agger 2
Moses 2
Kelly 1
Cissokho 1
Alberto 1

An historical look back at the PL shows that no team has come even close to repeating 100+ (only 3 teams ever having topped 100 ; Chelsea 103, City 102 and Liverpool 101) with following seasons around 80. There are also only 3 seasons where more than 86 goals were needed to win the PL* (City in 2012 with 93, Chelsea in 2010 with 103 and City in 2014 with 103) though as can be seen 3 of those were in the past 5 seasons.

Looking at all the strengthening going on in the PL due to the influx of PL sponsorship and TV money it may be considerably more difficult (using City for example) to knock 3, 4, 5 or more goals past teams week in week out or to run up a 6-0 or 7-0. Not that it won't happen, but all of the above possibly being less frequent than in 2013/14.

To maintain our position in the Top 4 then we theoretically may need no more than 80-85 goals and to concede no more than 38-40. I suspect we will be winning more games by 3-1, 2-0, 2-1, 1-0 than the 6-3, 5-2, 4-3 etc. of 2013/14.
3 points is still 3 points no matter the goal difference.
Or to put it another way (see below) the lowest number of goals scored to still obtain a Top 4 finish in the PL is between 55 and 72 goals. Even just using the past 5 seasons as a guide, I would be very surprised if we don't score at least 72 goals in the PL.

01 - United 79 (lowest in Top 4 = 63)
02 - Arsenal 79 (67)
03 - United 74 (63)
04 - Arsenal 73 (55)
05 - Chelsea 72 (45)
06 - Chelsea 72 (57)
07 - United 83 (63)
08 - United 80 (65)
09 - United 68 (68)
10 - Chelsea 103 (67)
11 - United 78 (72)
12 - City 93 (66)
13 - United 86 (72)
14 - City 102 (68)

Ravel posted:

Barcelona will of course score 130 goals now that they have Suarez since they scored 100 last year

TelekineticBear! posted:

quote:

01 - United 79 (63)
02 - Arsenal 79 (67)
03 - United 74 (63)
04 - Arsenal 73 (55)

this isnt how football works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not not luvd posted:

Sturridge 21 (2013/14 : 25)
Sterling 15 (13)
Remy 13 (14 for Newcastle in 27 games)
Gerrard 10 (15)
Lallana 8 (10 for Southampton in 39 games)
Lambert 7 (14 for Southampton in 38 games)
Coutinho 8 (5)
Henderson 7 (6)
A.N.Other 5 (TBC)
Markovic 3 (1 for Benfica in 13 games)
Skrtel 3 (7)
Sakho 3 (1)
Can 2 (4 for Leverkusen in 39 games)
Lovren 2 (2 for Southampton in 31 games)
Allen 1 (2)
Johnson 1 (0)
Enrique 1 (0)

Other Scorers in 2013/14
Suarez 31
Aspas 5
Agger 2
Moses 2
Kelly 1
Cissokho 1
Alberto 1

Brony Car posted:

Was in the pub tonight, a Manc walked in, looked at the telly and saw their game was one, started saying (I poo poo you not) "Oh look, Yernited are on, yes we're winn 3-0 at the moment to a team that the Scousers lost to the other night, this says it all really, we're going to be back this season... then started singing "YERNITED, BUSBY BABES, WE ARE YERNITED etc. etc" and then said "I might start thinking like a Liverpool fan this season, we're going to win everything I think based on our pre-season"... at which point I piped up... "Are you going to win the Champions League then??? .... Oh no wait, your not... COS YOUR NOT IN IT"..... he didn't reply, and moved to the other side of the pub

vyelkin posted:

And then everyone stood up and clapped.

Brony Car posted:

Frankston posted:

I've always wondered what the back of the electronic billboards look like

Hashtag Banterzone posted:

gently caress him. I'm tired of the crap. He could have had it all with us, WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL LUKAKU. From day one he came in here bullshitting us that Chelsea was his boyhood club, and that he dreamed of being Chelsea's #9. gently caress off. He's just a disappointment. All the talent, all the potential in the world, and yet you refuse to take your talents and test them. Great players don't shy away from competition, especially not the sorry group of strikers we've had in the past couple of years. He's had our support since he's been here. Everyone has been pouring love in his direction, and defending him every chance they could. Personally, I'm done with Lukaku. I'm done supporting him. I'll be taking shots at him every chance I get, and every time he has those poor runs of form, which he is so accustomed to, I'll be laughing my butt off while Bamford/Costa/Any other promising striker we have rakes in goals. Whoever it is that is going be Chelsea's #9, will be our #9 not because they're more talented than Lukaku, but because they have the grit and heart to fight for it. I'm all in for Wilfried Bony as our #2 right now.
So long, Lukaku.

Brony Car posted:

Has the McMahon meme run out of gas yet?



To be fair, it's pretty well done.

vyelkin posted:

GG please rename me

I'm proud of our captain and proud of his words
And proud I'll remain despite internet nerds
Who hide behind computers and type on their screens
And have no idea what that passion means.

Brony Car posted:

Has the McMahon meme run out of gas yet?



To be fair, it's pretty well done.

Brony Car posted:

Has the McMahon meme run out of gas yet?



To be fair, it's pretty well done.

blue footed boobie posted:

The McMahon meme is still funny, but this isn't.

Bacon of the Sea posted:

Editor of popular music magazine Kerrang complains that Leyton Orient fans have a song about tits and fanny on Twitter, then the following happens:



http://n.twitlonger.com/show/n_1s2r14j

Bacon of the Sea posted:

Editor of popular music magazine Kerrang complains that Leyton Orient fans have a song about tits and fanny on Twitter, then the following happens:



http://n.twitlonger.com/show/n_1s2r14j

Brony Car posted:

Isn't Kerrang a metal magazine? I'd think one's sexism tolerance would have to be pretty high to deal with metal on a regular basis.

Paddyb posted:

roma photo spawns lovely 'lurking ashley cole' meme

Brony Car posted:

Has the McMahon meme run out of gas yet?



To be fair, it's pretty well done.

Brony Car posted: