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Yeah, uh, it's actually pretty important to consider that becoming a stay-at-home mom can have huge impact on your career, and I say this as the child of a woman who is going to have to work nearly every day until she is 70 with no vacations just to survive. And that's after spending years fighting her clawing her way back to the workforce to have a job that pays about as much as a kid's first college job. She's intelligent and works harder than most of the people in this thread; but there's plenty of young, childless kids fresh out of school who are more recently trained and willing to work for nothing. Several years not working can make you fairly irrelevant in most industries with the pace of technology, it's pretty dismissive and naive of economic conditions to say this worry is born of a 'loser' mentality - preeeettty bootstrapsy and unaware. Turns out a big-rear end gap in your work history for raising kids can really gently caress things up!
StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 11:27 on Aug 14, 2014 |
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Aug 14, 2014 11:21
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moana posted:Well then she doesn't practice what she preaches, because in Lean In all she talks about is how you shouldn't cut back on hours, you're shooting yourself in the foot if you quit your job and stay away from work for too long, daycare is good value because you're decreasing your earning and earning potential every year you stay off the job, blah blah blah.
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Aug 14, 2014 12:06
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No Wave posted:Sorry, in my previous post, when I said "she" I was referring to you. The poster I was quoting before may have recognized that you haven't made a final decision yet, though, so I may have misinterpreted them. The poster you quoted was talking about Sheryl Sandberg, hence removing everything but that name from moana's quote.
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Aug 14, 2014 12:33
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Sorry to go back like, two pages (just caught up) but it sounded like your conclusion on the child-credit-tax-talk is that you are counting on the child credit to help with your tax burden this year and it's important that that's cleared up. It seems like you missed the part where you only get it for 2014 if your child was physically born in 2014. And I know that your wife is due in February of next year, so unless your baby is born fairly premature, you're not getting that credit for this year of taxes. When you file taxes in 2015 has no bearings on what goes on your taxes for 2014. If you did understand that, no harm no foul. (Btw, congrats on the baby. I'm also due Feb. 2015. Exciting times.)
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Aug 14, 2014 13:06
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No Wave posted:Sorry, in my previous post, when I said "she" I was referring to you. The poster I was quoting before may have recognized that you haven't made a final decision yet, though, so I may have misinterpreted them. Just remember Knyteguy that no matter what you decide, this thread deserves some adorable baby pictures 
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Aug 14, 2014 15:10
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Knyteguy. I think it's important to point out that this conversation and comments on this thread have nothing to do with how much you spend. The issue is that you have a really hard time sticking to budget. This is a normal conversation, even from the start of this thread in November (and possibly in your previous thready). K - Knyteguy T - Thread K - "Hey guys I budgeted $100 for fun money this month!" T - "Seems a little high with all your upcoming expenses and uncertainty, but if you stick to it you should be okay" K - "I'm going to stick to it! 100%! I can be determined when I want to be! We're going to have $20,000 saved in just three months!" T - "Focus on saving now, not long term projections of how much you might have" K - "Hey thread it's day 3 in the month and I spent $94 of fun money! It's okay! This is a one time purchase! And it adds value savings for x, y, z"! T - "Seems somewhat scary that you've spent all your fun money already and it's a few days in are you sure you needed one time purchase?" K - "Ya guys it's great. It's going to save me money and I'm going to use it all the time!" K - "Hey guys, unexpected expense came up (speeding ticket, debt settlement, birthday, party, get together, we got lazy and went out to eat), probably going to need to increase my fun money account or take it from somewhere else" T - Collective sigh, reiterate what has been said for 20+ pages K - "I don't know what you guys want me to do! I should be able to reward myself! Plus it's okay because now it's just going to take 5 months to save $20,000!" Rinse, repeat, dollar values can change, categories can change, excuses change, but it's been a consistent trend. E: Accidentally a word Bugamol fucked around with this message at 15:57 on Aug 14, 2014 |
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Aug 14, 2014 15:54
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How much money have you saved since starting this thread? Serious question, I want to know.
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Aug 14, 2014 16:26
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OK I read everyone's points up to this part but there was too much discussed to try to address every point. Read and considered (especially Imabanana's points). I'll speak with my sister this weekend. Another pro to that is the baby will have a cousin they're very very close with.ExtrudeAlongCurve posted:Sorry to go back like, two pages (just caught up) but it sounded like your conclusion on the child-credit-tax-talk is that you are counting on the child credit to help with your tax burden this year and it's important that that's cleared up. Congrats as well! Exciting for sure. moana posted:ha, got it. Ok will do  .
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Aug 14, 2014 16:31
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Bugamol posted:Knyteguy. I think it's important to point out that this conversation and comments on this thread have nothing to do with how much you spend. The issue is that you have a really hard time sticking to budget. This is a normal conversation, even from the start of this thread in November (and possibly in your previous thready). I ate probably $40 in shared expenses so my wife could get some stuff with her own money. If I didn't do that I would have about $20.00 left and entertainment would have about $30.00 left. I stand firm on the fact that the Kindle was a great purchase because of what I want/am using it for (increasing my financial/business knowledge). Because I'm reading Millionaire Fastlane I restarted my zero loss business. It will pay for itself with the profit from 3 net sales, which I've hit in a day before. Someone (you maybe?) mentioned another book about impulse purchasing which I will look into. Also I think it's important to remember that 1) we're still not red on the budget so as of right now what I said still stands, and 2) we're on track to meet almost $500.00 more than the set goal this month which was supposed to have much less wiggle room than that. The only reason I'm considering taking back the Kindle is because of the Slo Mo contest. Other than that we're on track to save $3,800.00 this month. We've done really well this month, and last month too. sheri posted:How much money have you saved since starting this thread? Serious question, I want to know. As of right now we have $2,500.00 in the bank account, and about $400-$500.00 left in expenses for the month. Two more paychecks are still coming. So that's the answer. We've also paid some stuff off, so the number itself is a little more murky than just that, but not by much. We should have around $5k after August.
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Aug 14, 2014 16:42
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il serpente cosmico posted:Do you find that you buy things just to make yourself feel good? How long does this feeling last? How much of the unnecessary stuff you bought in the last couple years do you wish you wouldn't have bought? Ah this is the other book I was thinking (CTP). Well luckily I have great experience with addiction. It is part of my personality, which sucks, but there is plenty of stuff I've quit through sheer will (and some help from the people around me/you guys in the case of finances). I went sober for 2 years with alcohol, quit smoking, quit cocaine, etc. I'm pretty good at reigning in my destructive behavior before it affects me permanently, or in the case of alcohol ensuring that moderation is now involved. Money is the one I'm tackling currently. The months where I blew all of my money is what I consider my relapse, but here I am again back on track. If nothing else I am not a quitter, or alternatively I'm a very good quitter. I know this comes up in every thread here eventually or whatever, and I don't really believe this is the business of the thread, but I've seen a therapist, talked to him intimately about money and being impulsive, etc. I have a solid understanding of my behavior, and my motivations. He in fact thinks I should start a business again as well. I don't want to go into it further though because it's more personal than finances, and this isn't E/N and it's not the type of stuff I like to talk about on the internet. I still don't think the Kindle was a problem though  .
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Aug 14, 2014 16:55
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Knyteguy posted:As of right now we have $2,500.00 in the bank account $9.33 per day saved since the start of the thread. You say you plan to have $18,000 by time the baby is born. I'll be as generous as possible and give up February 28, 2015 as a due date - that is 198 days away. That means every single day you will have to bank $78.28 to hit that total. If the baby is born at the start of February, you need to bank $90.64 every time the sun comes up to hit 18-thousand. Let's be clear - in order to hit $18,000 in savings by time that baby is born, you have to save nine to ten times as much as you have managed since the start of the thread. So really, you are right. Your Kindle wasn't a problem because you are so far away from being able to hitting your savings goals it doesn't matter what you do, you spending and savings habits won't get you anywhere close. Providing you can manage what you've done since the start, you'll have between $4,200 and $4,400 in the bank. And that will have to be enough, because at that point you won't have any time left to save anymore.
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Aug 14, 2014 17:18
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Antifreeze Head posted:$9.33 per day saved since the start of the thread. Past behavior isn't always a sign of future behavior. I would probably be dead right now if life always followed that logic. $18,000 isn't my goal either. My goal is $4,500.00 (total) saved by the end of this month. That's as far as my planning goes at the moment.
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Aug 14, 2014 17:21
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Knyteguy posted:$18,000 isn't my goal either. My goal is $4,500.00 (total) saved by the end of this month. That's as far as my planning goes at the moment.  Ohhh god don't ever stop doing this and you're golden.
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Aug 14, 2014 17:23
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It still seems like your mindset is to buy/spend your way to financial health. I don't think that's a good way to look at it. Aside from the budget part of things which is critical you need to start working on your perspective. I think at least until the baby has come, and probably for a good while after it you shouldn't be buying/blowing money on anything. Instead of coming up with crazy assed justifications for why you need a Kindle, go to the drat library and check out a book. I get the feeling that you have all sorts of stuff just laying around not being used. Try re-discovering the stuff you already have or own for entertainment. Take up free activities like walking or hiking (don't go buy $125 hiking boots dummy). It seems like a lot of your perspective in this thread involve what is the next thing you can spend your money on. You need to shift your focus to what is the next thing you can NOT spend money on. Try spending at least a month not acquiring any new stuff. You need to start looking at your life being totally filled with stuff and there isn't room for one more possession. If you want different stuff, sell some of the stuff you aren't using and use ONLY that money to buy some different stuff. If you and your wife can save the $150/month in blow you'll have ~$1200 extra to spend when you actually need it. Is it really necessary to have $75/month in lovely poo poo you don't need?
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Aug 14, 2014 18:01
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It sounds like you could benefit from going to NA or AA or some other 12 step program.
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Aug 14, 2014 18:13
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Veskit posted:
 n8r posted:It still seems like your mindset is to buy/spend your way to financial health. I don't think that's a good way to look at it. Aside from the budget part of things which is critical you need to start working on your perspective. I think at least until the baby has come, and probably for a good while after it you shouldn't be buying/blowing money on anything. Instead of coming up with crazy assed justifications for why you need a Kindle, go to the drat library and check out a book. Well we've tried the no new things for a month before while the thread was in hiatus and we failed, but maybe I'll be willing to give it a try again in November. October is wife's bday so not going to work then, and September is football season and I already have plans to get the streaming package ($130.00). I like the outlook though and I'm willing to try to conform to that line of thinking. Droo posted:It sounds like you could benefit from going to NA or AA or some other 12 step program. Edit: the library doesn't carry the books I wanted to read. I checked. Edit 2: respectfully going to step away from the thread until next Monday the 18th. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 18:39 on Aug 14, 2014 |
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Aug 14, 2014 18:22
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The library will basically order you any book you want, just have to wait for it. Still a long way to go this month... Long long way to go...
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Aug 14, 2014 18:35
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spwrozek posted:The library will basically order you any book you want, just have to wait for it. Wait for something? Psh.
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Aug 14, 2014 18:44
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This is why you aren't coming close to saving $18k. Your wife needs a present? Your spending money on streaming football? Cmon man. None of those things are necessities and you need money for hospital costs if nothing else.
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Aug 14, 2014 18:56
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I'm waiting for him to buy a new computer. I'm almost certain it's coming. Due to simple timing he's going to have $4,000 sitting in the bank this month and it's going to burn a hole in his pocket. He's already made a few casual mentions that he needs to upgrade his rig. It will be followed by many "It's an investment!" "My last computer lasted 5 years!" "It's where I spend most of my free time!" Either that or it's going to *cough*"break"*cough* and he'll have to replace it.
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Aug 14, 2014 19:03
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Can't you just pirate an NFL stream like a normal computer nerd? Edit: Sell some poo poo, buy your wife some new poo poo with $$ you made from selling things.
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Aug 14, 2014 19:17
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Jeffrey posted:While I don't disagree with the rest of your post, this is silly. Sanely estimate the expected loss in income from this, weigh that against your wife's feelings, and decide which option makes the most sense together. You don't have to ignore the opportunity cost to recognize that your wife's feelings are important and have genuine value. Of course, that's why I said "and is happy to do so." If the wife isn't happy to stay home, it won't work. If I didn't make that clear enough, I hope I am now, because that's the biggest part of the decision.
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Aug 14, 2014 19:23
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Knyteguy posted:Everything is going well so far this month! I unfortunately had to buy a new computer because mine died over the weekend. The motherboard went out and it's going to cost too much to try and find one compatible with all of my current components and just makes more sense to upgrade. I was able to salvage a few components to save me some money, but the new computer ended up costing $1427.68. I have to have one for work and for my side business so there's really no way to get around it. I was already considering upgrading anyway and knew this was a possibility so it's not like this was completely unplanned. Fake Knyteguy quote just in case this goes down in a few months and I quote myself to see how accurate I was.
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Aug 14, 2014 19:24
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n8r posted:Can't you just pirate an NFL stream like a normal computer nerd? I've been wondering this as well. $130 is a lot to pay for something you could do for free. EDIT: I'm sure the quality isn't high enough to suit his standards. il serpente cosmico fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Aug 14, 2014 |
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Aug 14, 2014 19:56
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n8r posted:Can't you just pirate an NFL stream like a normal computer nerd? Yeah I backhandedly suggested this earlier. Watching at a friend's house also seems like a good option.
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Aug 14, 2014 19:58
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Jeffrey posted:Yeah I backhandedly suggested this earlier. Watching at a friend's house also seems like a good option. To be fair to Knyteguy on this one he did back out of getting cable (I think?). I don't think it's unreasonable for him to want to spend $130 to have access to quality games on demand without having to worry about lovely streaming speeds and quality. The alternative is spending $100+ a month on cable which he isn't doing.
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Aug 14, 2014 20:01
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Bugamol posted:To be fair to Knyteguy on this one he did back out of getting cable (I think?). I don't think it's unreasonable for him to want to spend $130 to have access to quality games on demand without having to worry about lovely streaming speeds and quality.
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Aug 14, 2014 20:29
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I still think since I believe his original plan was to get cable TV + the football package and he's "compromised" to just getting the streaming package online it's pretty reasonable. We can quickly get into a debate against "what's needed in life" vs. "what isn't needed in life" and we can all live in cardboard boxes and take our showers at gyms, but at some point you need to have a marginal amount of comfort in your life. I'm not a huge sports fan, but I can see that if you were you would want to watch the games somehow. Going to a friends house, a bar, etc is a temporary solution that could end up costing you the same if not more money. Go to a friends house, decide to have a BBQ and some beers ($40). Go to a bar get an appetizer and one drink ($15). Over the course of a football season this could quickly add up.
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Aug 14, 2014 20:35
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Bugamol posted:I still think since I believe his original plan was to get cable TV + the football package and he's "compromised" to just getting the streaming package online it's pretty reasonable. But he could literally stream them from home for free. He doesn't need to spend money, nor does he need to deprive himself of anything in this scenario. il serpente cosmico fucked around with this message at 20:48 on Aug 14, 2014 |
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Aug 14, 2014 20:40
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Bugamol posted:I still think since I believe his original plan was to get cable TV + the football package and he's "compromised" to just getting the streaming package online it's pretty reasonable. KnyteGuy, I know you've talked about reading MMM before, maybe you should read this again? http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/18/news-flash-your-debt-is-an-emergency/
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Aug 14, 2014 21:01
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il serpente cosmico posted:But he could literally stream them from home for free. He doesn't need to spend money, nor does he need to deprive himself of anything in this scenario. End of the day it's still  . You could do a lot of things "for free" with that attitude. However, it's fairly irrelevant to the conversation.Plus the quality in streaming like that is awful. Plus not being able to watch it in real time is also awful. Even a 10 second delay is poo poo especially if you're watching the game with people, especially through twitter or SA. Veskit fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Aug 14, 2014 |
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Aug 14, 2014 21:03
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Yep. Go ahead and cut this poo poo out please.
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Aug 14, 2014 21:26
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Goons/Video Game Nerds. The only group who thinks it's hilarious to steal software, music, tv shows, and movies. On the flipside "HOW DARE YOU HAVE AD BLOCK ON WHILE WATCHING TWITCH. THAT'S HOW THESE GUYS EARN MONEY." Gotta love it. Back on topic. At least with the football poo poo Knyteguy has the foresight to actually think about it as a future expense. And didn't just come bumbling into the thread early next month going "welp I spent my whole entertainment/blow budget on a season pass".
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Aug 14, 2014 21:32
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slap me silly posted:Yep. Go ahead and cut this poo poo out please. Sorry, I was under the impression that talk of streaming sporting events was allowed on SA--all the football GDTs traditionally have links to streaming sites in the OP. I believe the rule in SAS is talking about television streams is allowed, but Pay Per View stuff is not. il serpente cosmico fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Aug 14, 2014 |
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Aug 14, 2014 23:30
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I don't know that we have a rule about it in here per se but it makes me nervous and anyway it's kind of an unhelpful derail 
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Aug 15, 2014 00:01
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Bugamol posted:
He's certainly thinking about it in advance, but it doesn't seem like he's setting aside any of this month's fun money to save up for it. Will he just willy-nilly bump up September's fun money or entertainment budget to pay for it?
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Aug 15, 2014 02:04
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So I've gone back and looked at the budget and I have a few questions. What on earth is $350/month on pets going to? There is $150 on 'household goods' what is that? There is $100 entertainment and $75/person on 'blow' money. I'm guessing the pets don't normally cost $350/month - is that correct? This is $750 in 'costs' that you could be cutting back on.
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Aug 15, 2014 14:25
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OK I just needed to step away for the day actually. I'm aware of the GDTs in the football forum, but Veskit/Bugamol make the best point about it. That is my 'reward' for saving money this month and I'm definitely getting it. The games are out of market so watching at a friend's place isn't going to happen. It's also unrealistic to think that I'll sit in a sports bar for 4 hours while the game is on and not spend any money. No cable Bugamol you are correct. Bugamol posted:Fake Knyteguy quote just in case this goes down in a few months and I quote myself to see how accurate I was. Psh I could almost spend that on the CPU alone: http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16819116938 Cicero posted:KnyteGuy, I know you've talked about reading MMM before, maybe you should read this again? http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/18/news-flash-your-debt-is-an-emergency/ Read that all time Cicero! I don't have MMM's iron will yet though. It's something that has to be developed even if he doesn't think so. "Financial crash diet" was the phrase someone used in this thread once. Ancillary Character posted:He's certainly thinking about it in advance, but it doesn't seem like he's setting aside any of this month's fun money to save up for it. Will he just willy-nilly bump up September's fun money or entertainment budget to pay for it? Yes going to bump up the fun money to pay for it.
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Aug 15, 2014 16:13
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n8r posted:So I've gone back and looked at the budget and I have a few questions. Correct. Our dog needed to be spayed before she hit her first heat cycle (gently caress that). We tried the subsidized places in town (humane society, SPCA) but they were either only taking specific breeds, or had 3-6 month waits. I didn't think it was difficult to get into those places beyond calling the week before, so we didn't plan for that. Will be cheaper next month. Household goods this month was a router and a microwave (found a really good one on sale at Target for $35 or something, 900 watt). Probably will be laundry and misc kitchen stuff, or lamps etc going forward. Should be cheaper next month with two big purchases out of the way. Correct. Blow is individual, entertainment is shared. We're on track to save almost 60% of our income this month so I think that we're within a safe range here still. Edit and just to be clear about the football streaming I put a toxx up that we wouldn't be getting it if we didn't have $4,500 saved total by the end of this month. We should be well ahead of that.
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Aug 15, 2014 16:18
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Oh and sorry for the triple post, but I think it makes the information clearer to separate it all (plus thread is already at top). What should we do with this savings we have at the end of this month? Siphon it to the car to help get us out of being underwater on it? Dave Ramsey recommends having a $1k emergency fund, then paying off all debt, then saving up a fat 3-6mo expense emergency fund. The hospital/doctors will take interest free payments. Not sure if I agree with that but...
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Aug 15, 2014 16:32
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