The Ray Parlour New Friends Welcome Thread

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > The Ray Parlour New Friends Welcome Thread

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warcrimes: Jul 6, 2013; I don't know what's it called, I just know the sound it makes when it takes a J4G's life.

NNick posted:

gently caress off to Liverpool tia.

Suarez is gone, Beatles are overrated and Dirk Pitt supports Liverpool.

Arsenal it is!

# ? Aug 15, 2014 00:12

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 14:31

Hoops: Aug 19, 2005; A Black Mark For Retarded Posting

Hey new people, welcome to TRP! Great to meetcha!

I think you guys should support Liverpool, they're a really cool club.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 00:33

R. Guyovich: Dec 25, 1991

warcrimes posted:

I'm a shameless yanqui plastic who wants to pick a top team while giving the appearance of not picking a top team. Because I used to like to paint bright pink nipples on little toy soldiers, I'm leaning towards Arsenal with their powerful, turgid cannon iconography.

Reasons for:

1) I think it's hilarious that two of the best Pole players in the world play for Germany.
2) The name doesn't evoke depressing THIS IS ENGLAND flashbacks like most of the other choices(anything Manchester, Hull City, Stoke City, Sunderland- is there a more depressing name than this, anywhere?)
3) My cannon is tumescent.
4) Kits are pretty sweet.
5) I'm going to enjoy blaming every bad thing that happens on Ozil.
6) They're not as good as I think they are.

Reasons against:

1) Ozil is a bug-eyed freak who cost the world an 8-0 shutout of shitfuck Brazil.
2) They're not as good as I think they are.

Any gunners(or anyone) want to add to the for/against?

Hello prospective Arsenal supporter,

Regretfully I must inform you that your application has been denied. Please make another post for a different team and be sure to check in next year if there are any spots open.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 02:33

fat greasy puto: Dec 30, 2001; Anime Lover David Beckham

shitfuck 8-0

# ? Aug 15, 2014 02:37

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

Dear prospective Arsenal supporters:

Welcome to supporting Arsenal! Being an American Arsenal supporter is both cool and good, just like me, blue footed boobie. Just don't pretend to hate Spurs. You don't even know why you hate them, and it's weird and forced as hell. Instead you should follow the lead of me, blue footed boobie, and ignore the Spurs rivalry and hate Liverpool, because it is an disgusting, evil club with awful fans.

Thanks,

blue footed boobie.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 02:56

Pinwiz11: Jan 26, 2009; I'm becom-, I'm becom-,
I'm becoming
Tana in, Tana in my mind.

blue footed boobie posted:

Dear prospective Arsenal supporters:

Welcome to supporting Arsenal! Being an American Arsenal supporter is both cool and good, just like me, blue footed boobie. Just don't pretend to hate Spurs. You don't even know why you hate them, and it's weird and forced as hell. Instead you should follow the lead of me, blue footed boobie, and ignore the Spurs rivalry and hate Liverpool, because it is an disgusting, evil club with awful fans.

Thanks,

blue footed boobie.

Or just hate Liverpool because YNWA is a horrible horrible horrible song that gives you (me) hives.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 02:58

Pantsuit: Oct 28, 2013

Americans support the mighty Potters Stoke City FC you won't look like a glory hunter (fabricate a story about 'your ancestors) but you'll get to see some tasty poo poo

# ? Aug 15, 2014 03:00

Crunkjuice: Apr 4, 2007; That could've gotten in my eye!
*launches teargas at unarmed protestors*

I THINK OAKLAND PD'S USE OF EXCESSIVE FORCE WAS JUSTIFIED!

To all new fans who are american,

Pick whoever you drat well want to, everyone in TRP will hate you all the same

Sincerely,
Unapologetic Chelsea Plastic

# ? Aug 15, 2014 03:11

Ewar Woowar: Feb 25, 2007

Don't loving support anyone without at least watching some football first.

Any time anyone asks everyone should just quote the Russ post

# ? Aug 15, 2014 03:23

Polidoro: Jan 5, 2011; Huevo se dice argidia. Argidia!

Ewar Woowar posted:

Don't loving support anyone. Watch some football.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 03:25

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

Pinwiz11 posted:

Or just hate Liverpool because YNWA is a horrible horrible horrible song that gives you (me) hives.

Everything about Liverpool is awful, with the exception of their home shirts last year, which were pretty cool.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 03:35

Ewar Woowar: Feb 25, 2007

blue footed boobie posted:

Everything about Liverpool is awful, with the exception of their home shirts last year, which were pretty cool.

If you don't think Coutinho is cool then you obviously hate football.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 04:04

Nostradingus: Jul 13, 2009

I'm going to plastic for, like, Burton Albion or something. Then I can be smug about fake-supporting a "real" team and even smugger when some billionaire buys them in 2073 because all the teams will be owned by oil sheikhs by then

# ? Aug 15, 2014 04:44

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

I'd 8-2 be an Arsenal plastic.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 06:14

Sauska: Sep 12, 2012

Maybe be a Leicester plastic. It's a real fashionable choice

phwoar

wahey

what a club. Golly what a club.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 06:30

Thrifting Day!: Nov 25, 2006

Here's an idea for American plastics, just watch football and stop "looking into it" and picking teams based on Wikipedia pages.

I loving hate Americans

# ? Aug 15, 2014 08:29

Lenin Riefenstahl: Sep 18, 2003; That's enough! Out of here, you tubs of beer!

Modus Trollens posted:

no its passed down maternally

# ? Aug 15, 2014 08:59

Bogan Krkic: Oct 31, 2010; Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

I'm stoked to see more West Ham plastics in trp if I'm honest

# ? Aug 15, 2014 10:33

Von Linus: Apr 6, 2006; I complete me.

This reminds me a bit of The Meaning of Life where Death turns up to take people away and an American loudly tries to express what's going on and his feelings on the matter then Death tells him he should just shut up and go with it because for fucks sake does everything have to be analysed to death and everyone else told about it.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 10:59

corn in the fridge: Jan 15, 2012; by Shine

Von Linus posted:

This reminds me a bit of The Meaning of Life where Death turns up to take people away and an American loudly tries to express what's going on and his feelings on the matter then Death tells him he should just shut up and go with it because for fucks sake does everything have to be analysed to death and everyone else told about it.

same

# ? Aug 15, 2014 11:02

mila kunis: Jun 10, 2011

blue footed boobie posted:

Dear prospective Arsenal supporters:

Welcome to supporting Arsenal! Being an American Arsenal supporter is both cool and good, just like me, blue footed boobie. Just don't pretend to hate Spurs. You don't even know why you hate them, and it's weird and forced as hell. Instead you should follow the lead of me, blue footed boobie, and ignore the Spurs rivalry and hate Liverpool, because it is an disgusting, evil club with awful fans.

Thanks,

blue footed boobie.

Actually there's really good reasons to hate spurs.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 11:10

Bogan Krkic: Oct 31, 2010; Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

tekz posted:

Actually there's really good reasons to hate spurs.

Wow, mods?

# ? Aug 15, 2014 11:14

Thrifting Day!: Nov 25, 2006

tekz posted:

Actually there's really good reasons to hate spurs.

Some would say...millions

# ? Aug 15, 2014 12:56

8raz: Jun 22, 2007; He's Scouse, He's Sound.

blue footed boobie posted:

Dear prospective Arsenal supporters:

Welcome to supporting Arsenal! Being an American Arsenal supporter is both cool and good, just like me, blue footed boobie. Just don't pretend to hate Spurs. You don't even know why you hate them, and it's weird and forced as hell. Instead you should follow the lead of me, blue footed boobie, and ignore the Spurs rivalry and hate Liverpool, because it is an disgusting, evil club with awful fans.

Thanks,

blue footed boobie.

you're american?

...lol

# ? Aug 15, 2014 14:40

Velvet Elvis: Jul 1, 2007

Haggis Heed posted:

Here's an idea for American plastics, just watch football and stop "looking into it" and picking teams based on Wikipedia pages.

I loving hate Americans

I loving hate people who show an interest in things I enjoy.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 15:00

hopterque: Mar 9, 2007; sup

Dear american scum,

don't watch the EPL, it's stupid and for nerds, instead you should watch the Bundesliga, which is cool and good if you completely ignore Bayern. Also most of the rad dudes who won the world cup play in the Bundesliga which means it's the best league in the world, obviously.

The Bundesliga is even broadcast on cable tv in the US now, on Fox Sports!

You should check out our fine thread full of cool dudes:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3651995

# ? Aug 15, 2014 15:01

Von Linus: Apr 6, 2006; I complete me.

Velvet Elvis posted:

I loving hate people who show an interest in things I enjoy.

Do you not think it's a bit weird to view picking a team as so arbitrary that you should get advice on it if you are a grown person who identifies as within a genderspectrum?

Like when people say 'help me pick a team' the first thing that springs to mind is that you've not watched a football match before, because if you had, you would probably have noticed things about a team you liked, or didn't like. You could fancy a team of neonazis if you liked.

It seems more like people say 'I've decided I like football, and now I want to pick the second best but up and coming team so that when they win a title I can say I wasn't a plastic but I don't want to pick some oval office team who is just going to get relegated', than that they say 'Hey I love football and want to kiss it on the mouth and I'll figure out which team I like after watching football'.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 15:10

Hashtag Banterzone: Dec 8, 2005; Lifetime Winner of the willkill4food Honorary Bad Posting Award in PWM

Just want to echo that you shouldn't need to pick a club first in order to enjoy watching football. I know this goes against the grantland/espn articles and all the flow charts you've seen.

On top of watching matches, try the following:

Read the season previews (the guardian has some good ones)
Watch match of the day/other highlights
Go to a pub to watch a big match
Play fantasy football (if fantasy sports are your thing)
Play FIFA (if video games are your thing)

Hopefully you will be able to enjoy watching football without picking a team, and then you will end up finding a club to support more naturally.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 15:55

rare Magic card l00k: Jan 3, 2011

Hashtag Banterzone posted:

Hopefully you will be able to enjoy watching football without picking a team, and then you will end up finding a club to support more naturally.

Be warned everyone, I did this and ended up choosing Crystal Palace. Show better decision-making skills than an idiot like me.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 16:00

Lord of Garbagemen: Jan 28, 2014; Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Great White Hope posted:

Be warned everyone, I did this and ended up choosing Crystal Palace. Show better decision-making skills than an idiot like me.

that sounds awesome, i cant wait to watch the poo poo show that is crystal ~~pulis~~ palace unfold this season

# ? Aug 15, 2014 16:05

Pinwiz11: Jan 26, 2009; I'm becom-, I'm becom-,
I'm becoming
Tana in, Tana in my mind.

Granted, a lot of this will go away when football finally starts tomorrow :f5:

If only there was a Red Zone Channel type option for the PL...

# ? Aug 15, 2014 16:09

8raz: Jun 22, 2007; He's Scouse, He's Sound.

Great White Hope posted:

Be warned everyone, I did this and ended up choosing Crystal Palace. Show better decision-making skills than an idiot like me.

It is indeed a bad decision to not just pick the winningest teams.

It provides that extra security blanket, for the modern poster.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 16:10

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

8raz posted:

you're american?

...lol

# ? Aug 15, 2014 16:13

Syncopated: Oct 21, 2010

Just follow the same team as your favorite TRP poster.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 16:13

Carrier: May 12, 2009; 420...69...9001...

Syncopated posted:

Just follow the same team as your favorite TRP poster.

Welcome Spurs fans.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 16:15

Frankston: Jul 27, 2010

Carrier posted:

Welcome Spurs fans.

I don't support spurs

# ? Aug 15, 2014 16:22

Syncopated: Oct 21, 2010

You all suck, so from now on I'll strictly be watching greek football. Nobody here can be a fan of that.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 18:01

pik_d: Feb 24, 2006; follow the white dove

TRP Post of the Month October 2021

Syncopated posted:

Just follow the same team as your favorite TRP poster.

Hmm... wait... Middlesbrough?? I don't see that name on the front page of ESPN, this can't be right!! Mods!!!

# ? Aug 15, 2014 18:03

Hoops: Aug 19, 2005; A Black Mark For Retarded Posting

If I was looking for a club of the people with a lot of history and a touch of panache, I'd support Liverpool

# ? Aug 15, 2014 18:06

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 14:31

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

Syncopated posted:

You all suck, so from now on I'll strictly be watching greek football. Nobody here can be a fan of that.

There's a thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3648746

# ? Aug 15, 2014 18:09

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > The Ray Parlour New Friends Welcome Thread

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