CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

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Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Shithouse Dave posted:

Come on, does that look like the skin of a person who prepares and eats a vegetable to you?

Sorry, I was just unprepared for seeing that kitchen and it really worked me up. Some things just aren't right and shouldn't be accepted, and that loving abomination of a kitchen is one of them. No reason for it. None at all.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:47

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# ? May 14, 2024 05:26

The Monkey Man: Jun 10, 2012; HERD U WERE TALKIN SHIT

Depression Quest is now on the front page of metacritic despite its page not featuring any critic reviews.

There are over a hundred user ratings averaging 1.0 out of 10, and only one of the user reviews is more than two days old.

http://www.metacritic.com/game/pc/depression-quest/user-reviews?sort-by=date&num_items=100

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:49

Tsinava: Nov 15, 2009; by Ralp

here's a cool lifehack:

only get food that you need to pop in the stove/microwave to prepare! it's delicious and saves a lot of time. you won't even need a kitchen. make sure to also keep lots of pepto bismol around.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:49

cthulhoo: Jun 18, 2012

also eat it off the floor like a animal

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:51

Tsinava: Nov 15, 2009; by Ralp

i hope in approx 1 weeks time we get to see her on the news as a victim and new national spokesman for the dangers of slutshaming.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:51

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Tsinava posted:

here's a cool lifehack:

only get food that you need to pop in the stove/microwave to prepare! it's delicious and saves a lot of time. you won't even need a kitchen. make sure to also keep lots of pepto bismol around.

I don't even see a microwave there. She obviously eats......... but how???

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:53

ate shit on live tv: Feb 15, 2004; by Azathoth

Lowtax posted:

Sorry, I was just unprepared for seeing that kitchen and it really worked me up. Some things just aren't right and shouldn't be accepted, and that loving abomination of a kitchen is one of them. No reason for it. None at all.

Maybe she lives in NYC where kitchens are considered "luxury" items?

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:54

Lowen SoDium: Jun 5, 2003; Highen Fiber; Clapping Larry

Lowtax posted:

I don't even see a microwave there. She obviously eats......... but how???

Hungryman meal in the microwave till it pops, then she burns her hands taking it out and eats it standing up.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:54

SuperMechagodzilla: Jun 9, 2007; NEWT REBORN

The Depression Quest ARG is knocking it out the park.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:54

Fallows: Jan 20, 2005; If he waits long enough he can use his accrued interest from his savings to bring his negative checking balance back into the black.

Lightanchor posted:

Star Wars Kid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBiodfeVcnY

she is bigger than i expected

drat you myspace angles

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:55

ate shit on live tv: Feb 15, 2004; by Azathoth

The Monkey Man posted:

Depression Quest is now on the front page of metacritic despite its page not featuring any critic reviews.

There are over a hundred user ratings averaging 1.0 out of 10, and only one of the user reviews is more than two days old.

http://www.metacritic.com/game/pc/depression-quest/user-reviews?sort-by=date&num_items=100

Fantastic game, really. It was amazing. The gameplay was great. The music was great. I could easily compare this to great gaming masterpieces like Revenge of the Sunfish, Hotel Mario and Superman 64. A truly wonderful game. 10/10, bravo.
Am I doing it right?

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:55

cthulhoo: Jun 18, 2012

Positive: 8 out of 113
Mixed: 2 out of 113
Negative: 103

People just don't understand her art.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:56

madeupfred: Oct 10, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

Shadoer posted:

What do you have in mind?

Zoe Quinn

Edit for clarification: I would like someone to make me a fake game review site, so that I can have sex with Zoe Quinn.

madeupfred fucked around with this message at 20:59 on Aug 20, 2014

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:56

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIcBe06XmxM
she's like Zoe Mnemonic

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:57

Vag Assault Weapon: Aug 12, 2014

She lives in Boston where you can no longer buy pressure cookers, all food is consumed via the man she happens to be cheating with eating before coming over and regurgitating it back into her mouth

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:57

cthulhoo: Jun 18, 2012

This was legit autism.flv

# ? Aug 20, 2014 20:58

Brexit the Frog: Aug 22, 2013

Ulver posted:

She lives in Boston where you can no longer buy pressure cookers, all food is consumed via the man she happens to be cheating with eating before coming over and regurgitating it back into her mouth

That's how we all eat here, to be fair

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:00

Rad Tad: Jul 2, 2014

Lowtax posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIcBe06XmxM
she's like Zoe Mnemonic

you think the chip should just come with that noise built in

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:00

Top Bunk Wanker: Jan 31, 2005; Top Trump Anger

Much like the woman behind the Cancel Colbert campaign, Zoe Quinn has figured out how to transmute eternal victimhood into never having to actually work again, and that's pretty impressive if you ask me.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:02

Shadoer: Aug 31, 2011; Zoe Quinn is one of many women targeted by the Gamergate harassment campaign.

Support a feminist today!

madeupfred posted:

Zoe Quinn

Edit for clarification: I would like someone to make me a fake game review site, so that I can have sex with Zoe Quinn.

Dude, just watch that video Lotax posted of her. Then ask yourself if you want to hit that.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:02

Skunny Wundy: Jul 9, 2012

Last night, I ate a tuna steak and then had an erotic nightmare about Zoe Quinn.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:04

cthulhoo: Jun 18, 2012

Skunny Wundy posted:

Last night, I ate a tuna steak and then had an erotic nightmare about Zoe Quinn.

Details please. :stonk:

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:06

Tsinava: Nov 15, 2009; by Ralp

she was dressed up in s&m and stillettos and was repeatedly spanking him with a flow wand.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:07

Tormented: Jan 22, 2004; "And the goat shall bear upon itself all their iniquities unto a solitary place..."

Over There posted:

this was before this shitstorm happened lol

Some guys like to slam whales.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:08

Skunny Wundy: Jul 9, 2012

She didn't look that much like Zoe Quinn, but I knew it was her, you know?

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:08

Biggie Shorty: Oct 8, 2008

an honest attempt at outreach? or shamelessly humping Robin Williams' still warm corpse?

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:10

Musket: Mar 19, 2008

Lowtax posted:

there's like not even any goddamn surface to put a cutting board on

LOL if you think she cooks. You dont need a cutting board for fast food.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:11

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Biggie Shorty posted:

an honest attempt at outreach? or shamelessly humping Robin Williams' still warm corpse?

are you insinuating Zoe hosed Robin Williams' corpse too?

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:11

fuccboi: Jan 5, 2004; by zen death robot

Lowtax posted:

are you insinuating Zoe hosed Robin Williams' corpse too?

There you are Peter

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:12

Excelzior: Jun 24, 2013

Lowtax posted:

are you insinuating Zoe hosed Robin Williams' corpse too?

don't kinkshame

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:13

Proteus4994: Jan 2, 2001; Do not engage. Just tell me to go back to Kiwi Farms where I waste days upon days crying about how I wasted years upon years on SA. Did you know I was personally responsible for SA's rise in popularity in the 00's? It's true! Just come to the Farms and find out how! It's the trash kingdom I deserve.

Lowtax posted:

are you insinuating Zoe hosed Robin Williams' corpse too?

along with everyone in the media

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:13

Skunny Wundy: Jul 9, 2012

License to Cuck

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:14

Irradiation: Sep 14, 2005; I understand your frustration.

Lowtax posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIcBe06XmxM
she's like Zoe Mnemonic

As opposed to the chip she injected under her skin.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:23

Jamesman: Nov 19, 2004; "First off, let me start by saying curly light blond hair does not suit Hyomin at all. Furthermore,"; Fun Shoe

Lowtax posted:

are you insinuating Zoe hosed Robin Williams' corpse too?

No, that was YouTube superstar Tobuscus.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:24

Faux Mulder: Aug 1, 2014; just gonna do whatever I want to do, all the time

Biggie Shorty posted:

an honest attempt at outreach? or shamelessly humping Robin Williams' still warm corpse?

weird title. depression quest was gonna be free/was already free anyway

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:31

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

I need more Zoe Quinn news its like heroin

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:38

memy: Oct 15, 2011; by exmarx

https://twitter.com/YouPorn/status/502174476600369152

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:38

SPACE HOMOS: Jan 12, 2005

Do they make hair dye that changes with your mood like those gimmick rings?

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:51

Sudden Loud Noise: Feb 18, 2007

Lowtax posted:

Sorry, I was just unprepared for seeing that kitchen and it really worked me up. Some things just aren't right and shouldn't be accepted, and that loving abomination of a kitchen is one of them. No reason for it. None at all.

It really is pretty unreasonable to get so worked up about-

*Watches video*

WHERE DOES SHE PLACE THINGS?!

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:52

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# ? May 14, 2024 05:26

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

i want glowing hair dye

i wnat to full super saiyan

# ? Aug 20, 2014 21:53

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

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